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Empyronaut β Angry Marine Punch-Predator Tank
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Published: 2015-08-14 11:59:21 +0000 UTC; Views: 5000; Favourites: 77; Downloads: 26
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No explosives or ignited promethium upon the giant punchy fist too?
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Special rule: Tank recoil
Any vehicle that gets hit is forced to move in the direction that it gets hit by the tank fister
the vehicle is forced to move to the tank fister's maximum range, and then suffers a glancing hit and the crew stunned special rule
If the vehicle cannot move to the maximum range it suffers a glancing hit, and the glancing hit's result stacks with crew stunned
other vehicles count as terrain when using the Tank Fister
Infantry and walkers can run 1d6 to escape the tank shock or be automatically removed
and superheavies are moved half of the tank fister's maximum range alongside the usual rules for Tank Fisting
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Lol...
Additional to this, every unit that stands in the way of the unit that has to get moved due to your special rule, also suffers a hit. That way, you could create awesome billard like chain-reactions inside a squad or a group of enemies... Also: It would look ridiculously funny in my mind...
I thought of a custom deploiment rule for Angry Marines too, but I`m not sure how to do a picture of that. Maybe I should simply write it down or do something like a photo-collage or something. Maybe we could write it together if you like. English is not my native language, you know, so it might be accurate if someone that`s born in an english speaking country would help to make it look "official". Though it`s just a silly joke.
So here`s the rough idea:
Angry Marines deploiment special rule "Steehl Rehn"
1. The Angry Marines opponent ALWAYS has to deploy his forces first. This is something like a deep-strike/surprising attack tactic.
2. The Angry Marines models all HAVE TO BE models made out of metal, or plastic models that are filled with lead or an equivalent metal that makes them heavier
3. The Angry Marine player deploys his modelsΒ by shooting them with a slingshot of his choice at the opponents models. This simulates the Angry Marines deep-strike tactic in which they simply fall out of the sky.
4. If the Angry Marine Player decides to field larger models like vehicles or titans, he needs a bigger slingshot.
5. If there is still even 1 model of the opponents army in one piece or standing after the "Stehl Rehn" deploiment, normal rules engage and the game gets played as usual. Every model that`s still on the table and not mortally wounded or dismembered, will get involved in that battle.
6. Such games are espeacially fun against opponents that decide to field their new, shiny Forgeworld Warlord titan.
Fuck me, what a damn funny video that would be to watch.....
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With all the lost tech, forgotten knowledge of the past millennia, someone in the Imperium dared to ask those techpriests to get their act together and finally come up with a tank design that packs more of a punch.
Well... either they found the solution to that enigma...
Or their sense of humor.
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Whatever drove them to this design, but they solved the ammunition-problem once and for all... Infinite ammo! Yay!!! Β
Though it`s effective firing range is a little limited....Β
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. . . . . Somehow. . . I thought in Imperial Fist
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No, not "Imperial Fist" but "Imperial Fisters (or Fisting)" would be right... Β
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IMPERIAL FISTING OF DOOM!!!!! *punch stuffs*
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Now that we talk about it: Those tanks could sell pretty well in the extreme fetish sextoy industry, or not? I`m sure there`s a market for this kind of advanced penetration tools... Β
Great, now I am disgusted by myself. Thank you very much...
Enough internet for today...
Also: Β
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O -O Well....... I wasn't... expecting something... like that O -O'' *hugs back*Β
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This stuff makes me more and more sure that Angry Marines' techmarines are more mekboyz than techpriests
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---Astropathical message incoming---
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To: Imperial citizen BioVass
From: The Ordo Ridiculous of His Holy Inquisition
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-Message start-
Of course you are totally right about that. A very precise analysis of the simple way to create brutal tech that fits the nature of this retar....no,sorry I meant "special" chapter of Astartes.
On the other side: This comparison was pretty close to heresy. Too close to us, and while you`re reading this, an Eversor assassin on crack and meth allready hacks and slays his way through everyone and everything that stands in his way between you and his blades.
Should be there in a few moments. Please greet him from us and have a nice day. Even if it will be a little shorter than you might expected.
Sincerly: Iquisitor NoIWontShowYouMyRosettaYouPervert
-End of message-
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-Thought of the day
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Ugh. Mr. Inquisitor, you be confusing imperial ci-ti... weak 'oomiez and proud greenskin xenos. Thanx for the eversor tho, it'z gon' be fun
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I always wondered, why you orks wear shorts. You have no reproductive organs, so what are you hiding?
Or are you just shy, you teeth collecting experiment of the old ones? Β
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Why do YOU hide yer reproducive organs in first place? 'Coz it's proppa to hide 'em. Same with orky pants.
+ keeping leg blood vesselz warm and protected
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Ha! That was the last prove i needed to know you`re not a greenskin. That answer was way too smart for an orc! (thinks except he`s a weirdboy...)
Bonus:
Here`s a little conversation between Orks that I witnessed some time ago:
(maybe I make it into a little strip, who knows)
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Boss: Boys! `ere iz da problem. Humie marines hav`armour. They hard to kill,right?
Boys: Yeah!
Boss: Orcs no armour. They easy to kill, right?
Boys: Yeah!
Boss: Humie armour win and orcs no armour lose.
Boys: Yeah!
Boss: So? You not see answer to problem?
(The boys look at each other and say nothing)
Boss: More dakka!
Boys:WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Weirdboyz are krazy psykers. Oddboys, you meant. I be a painboy, and I'm offended by u finkin' orks are stoopid. Well, most are, but ya need to accumulate some brainz if ya wanna be alive 'n' cunning.
And boss's thougt was perfectly logical. Either a hail of bullets that can okkasionally damage visor or joints, or bigger armor-breaking gun can do da trick with tincanz.
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Ok, just to be serious for a moment, I think the orcs were the only faction that really received some kind of improvement during the dark age that we call the "Matt Ward years". I like their updated lore. Not too innovative or completely different from the past, but much deeper and complex.
So I guess you did it and defeated me with your planet sized brain and its logic. So i will follow the imperial standard tactic for such cases and simply bomb you to dust soon.
See ya greenskin! Β
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Every angry marine in the chapter is hating you for this tank. WHAT KIND OF a MOTHER FACKING PANSY WOULD PUT A RETARDED SPRING ON SHITY TANK AND NOT PLACE THEIR CRUDDY FIST AS THE PUNCHER AT THE END OF THAT SPRING?
That marine who is pressing the spring loaded is not Angry enough to be in the Angry Marines. Too much of his brain is intact. Probably one of those Mag Pies wanting to steal something more.....FACKING MAGPIES! HAVE YOU NOT HAD ENOUGH WITH ALL OUR RANGE WEAPONS SO YOU CAME FOR OUR TANKS! KICK HIS ASS!- MaximusΒ
Besides that joke everything is fine.
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Oh no...Β They hate me? Β They shall not hate me.... Β
THEY SHALL GET REALLY PISSED ABOUT IT AND SIMPLY SMACK THE LIVING FUCK OUT OF EVERYTHING BECAUSE OF THAT DISGRACE! AND THEY SHALL START WITH ME SO I FINALLY HAD SOMETHING LIKE A REAL OPPONENT THAT DESERVES THE FULL FUCKING MAX LEVEL OF MY HATRED AND I COULD HOPEFULLY RELEASE SOME PRESSURE BY PUNCHING THESE SHITTY FUCKTWATS TO BLOODPUDDING!!!
Β IT`S CALLED "MOTIVATION" YOU MOTHERLESS KNOB-JOCKEY!!!
NOW GO AND PAINT YOUR ARMMOUR IN A FANCY BLUE AND ADD A NICE TOILET SEAT TO IT MR. ULTRAMARINE FANBOY!!!ONE!!ELEVEN!!! Β
(+ thx 4 your comment brother )
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pulls the enemy in, well this isn't so bad no i can hi.... "SHUT THE FUCK UP ASSMAGOT!" BOING!
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Lol...
Yeah, thats actually a very cool idea for a pic or a ministrip... Will you do one? Would like to see it and I already have a shitload of stuff on my list what needs to get finished first...
So many ideas and so short of time to spare right now...
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Oh I'd love to do it, if I were any good at comic strips, but I'll give it a shot.
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you know the grappling hook on the blood angel death company dreadnoughts? why not combine it with this? xD
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Yeah, I know that "COME HERE" grabby. This is pretty similar, you`r right. It`s just the "punchy" version. Angry Marines style, you know?
Thanks for your comment mate. Maybe somebody does a dreadnought conversion with a fist instead of a claw. Maybe somebody already did.
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Punchy...grabby...why not both?
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Maybe one hand is "grabby" and the other one spreads one finger (you know which one Β ) and shoves it up the enemy`s ...Β {censored by the Imperial Ordo Eroticus of His holy Inquisition}Β ... and then he will put his fist into...Β {seriously dude, stop that or we will call an exterminatus on you, you filthy heretic} Β ... just before he drops his pants and...{Okay you worthless scum. You asked for it. Our ships are on their way. Goodbye mofo!!!}Β ...that`s the best! Β
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