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Description
Frays

“Have you ever considered life like thread? There are a lot of frays in it. Or, I guess you could call them problems.” Stated the social worker as she sat down beside me and tightly shut a cardboard flap.

She’s killing me with her happiness. I don’t think she realizes that she is just making me feel worse. Life is full of problems? Great! Nice job lady! I thought angrily picking at my fingernails.

“But eventually, those frays come together and make a scarf, or a hat! Even your shirt!” She exclaimed as she glanced at my shirt. I looked down at it, a skinny baby tee in deep blue with faded green stars and a frayed bottom.

Sure, the frays sure do come together to just fall apart in the end. That’s how it all ends. Nothing good comes out of anything. I listened to my thoughts as if I couldn’t control them, and realized how pessimistic I sounded. I moved my hand to my ear and twirled my earring with a hesitant pace. I lowered my gaze to my shorts, spotted with bleach on a washed out blue. “Hannah?” The calm posture and fake smile slowly melted away. “Hannah!” She sputtered scowling at me as I hummed to myself. I looked up, taking in her features for the first time. She had bright blonde hair and shallow blue eyes. I shut my eyes and thought of my mother, or what was left of my memory of her.

She had brown eyes, like me. But all I see in those eyes are pain and fear. She had red hair and a light skin tone. She looks just like me. Maybe, just maybe, she is me. Maybe I have no memory of my mother at all and she never existed to me. I guess the last time I saw her was when I was eleven, I can’t remember. Maybe if I could try to think…

“OW!” I yelp jumping back, clutching my head. The social worker’s face twists from anger to concern as she grabs me into a hug.

“It’s okay. Don’t cry. Just don’t think about it.” She squeezes me and lets go, brushing the hair from my face. I look down to her nametag on her chest, a neatly pinned nametag now tilted on her gray business suit. I decided I should stop being a snob, the woman Amanda had done nothing wrong.

“Amanda. I’m sorry for ignoring you. You tried to cheer me up and I just treated you like crap. It’s just my grandparents are in that nursing home now all because of me.” Amanda narrowed her eyes down at me and smiled for an instant.

“Now why do you think that?” She said, her fake smile gone. Clearly, she was done playing the “you’re going to be fine and you did nothing to deserve this” act. She wanted answers and she wanted to know them now.

“They took me only because my Aunt Stacy and Uncle Toby were going through problems. Well, they aren’t really my aunt and uncle. Just friends of the family, I guess.” I glance up, my eyes catching hers. What I see isn’t what I expected. She looks like she knows a lot more than I do, I ponder as I trace the outline of my sneaker.

“They aren’t.. Uh..” She stops, clearly caught off guard. She takes a deep breath and maintains herself. “Have you ever been to Sulver before?” She tilts her head, her blue eyes maintain the look of all knowing power.

She knows I haven’t. I know that’s where I’m going. So, instead of telling her something she already knows I throw a fastball.

“Sulver is that little town in the middle of nowhere.” I state, lifting my hand from my sneaker, placing it in my lap.

“Yes, it is. It’s very warm and nice during the summer though! You can just travel nearby and there is a nice lake you can have fun at! Right now, though, it’s really cold. Freezing, the high altitude is terrible. It might be snowing right now, maybe not. It rarely snows. It’s funny, everywhere else it snows but there…There is just…” She stops again. Glancing down at her skirt, she stares at it for a moment looking scared. “Um..I need to make a phone call, okay? Thanks! She gives me a light push towards the door. I stand up, and walk out with an awkward feeling in my stomach. I walk out the door and stop as soon as I turn the corner. I put my back to the wall watching the  opposite white wall, now bare.

So many pictures used to hang on this small wall. I can’t take it, it’s just too sad.

I hear the beeps of buttons being pushed, it’s a number.

“Mrs. Sohm?” She says in her confident “I’m qualified and I cost a lot of money” voice. “Yes. Yes. She’s with me. What? Oh. She is troubled, she blames herself because of this.” She laughs. “I know. It is. Yes, that’s what I said. I’ll put her on the plain today. Bye.” I slowly peek into my old room, the room Amanda is in. The sunlight bathes the room with a yellow glow. A single box sits on the floor next to a suitcase in the corner. In the center is Amanda, she rubs her hands across her face, pushing her hair back. I walk into the room and look down at her. She pushes herself up and picks up her purse. She looks down at her gold watch and gasps. “That shuttle better get here soon or your miss your plane!” A honk sounds from out front.

Perfect timing.

She hurries over and picks up the small box and sticks it under her arm. “Come on!” She gasps as she walks. I look at her than I look at my suitcase in the corner. I walk over, pull out the handle and pull it behind me. I lift it up behind me as soon as we head out of my old room and follow her down the stairs. She stops at the front door and laughs. “I should give you this! It’s a diary. Your grandparents said you loved the colors black and white. Write in it everyday, it’s a fun thing to do! Inside is some money and your tickets. Remember, when you get off the plane there will be a taxi waiting to take you to the train station!” She says quickly, full of smiles and follows me out to the shuttle bus. The man waiting by the bus grabs the box from Amanda’s hands and sticks it in the back. I walk over to him and set my suitcase by him. He picks it up and sticks it in the back too. He shuts the door and stops in front of Amanda. He is a man probably in his 50s with a neatly tucked in blue shirt and black slacks. His hair is gray and he had brown eyes, his skin is wrinkly and he is really tan.

“My name is Adam  and I will be taking you to the airport!” He says with a smile, he has a thick English accent. Amanda smiles and hands him four crisp bills, they look like twenties but you can never be sure. She gives one last look at me and gives me a tight hug.

“Good luck Hannah!” She says in an extra happy voice. She lets go of me and walks toward the front door turning around to wave at me. I look back at her and turn away to get into the car where Adam is holding the door open. I climb in and sit down at the only open seat right next to the door I just came in from.

Great, I can watch her wave goodbye.

I sigh and roll my eyes. Adam shuts the door and I watch her as she continues to wave. I look away form her at the little white house. The house had been my home since I was eleven and means a lot to me. But, I’ll never see it again.

A large citrus tree stands to the left of the door, it’s fruit growing in size. The little flowerbeds bursting with daises and other flowers that my grandma had taken so much time to take care of. But I guess you just get old and things change. I hate change. I look at the last attribute to the house, a large white sign with “SOLD” stamped across it in red letters.

But I guess I have no choice but to move on with my life and forget it all. Again.

“Hello! What’s your name!” Says the little boy next to me, he has big brown eyes and dark brown skin with his hair cut short. “My names David!” He holds out his hand and looks up at me.

“I’m Hannah. Nice to meet you.” I smile and reach out and shake his little hand. He nods and smiles.

“Now, Hannah where are you headed?” Says Adam as he looks calmly though the rearview mirror. He drives fast dodging in and out of traffic.

“Hell. That’s where I’m going.” I whisper to myself as David looks up at me with a confused look on his face. “I’m going to Sulver, Idaho.” I say louder as  I look down to the diary on my lap. The diary’s cover is black and white. It shows snow on the ground and pine trees in the background. The trees look smeared like whoever did the painting wanted it to stand out. But, to wrap it all together was a single red rose, halfway buried in the snow so you could only see the petals and two leaves. The rose is so red it looks like blood. The diary is bonded tightly with a black tape, I open it up and out flies a several fiftys and two tickets. I quickly grab them and slip them back inside my diary. I sigh and rub my hands together. It’s going to be a long day.

“It’s at least a two miles walk to Sulver itself!” You have to walk along a trail!” Adam says in a shocked tone. “Have you ever been there before?” I shake my head “no,” somewhat shocked he’d been there himself. “Well, it’s a really small town. There isn’t a school or anything either! You have to travel out to the Middleton High School which is about fifteen miles away. All the small towns go to Middleton so there are a lot of students attending. You wouldn’t believe how many tiny towns are scattered across those mountains! Sulver is just one of them! There’s probably thousands!” After learning all this information about Sulver, I feel slightly depressed over hearing that I would have to ride in a bus with a bunch of other kids to school for a long period of time. But, I’m still happy about all the money inside my new diary.

For once, I’m not sarcastic when I say “this is great!” I’ve always been sarcastic, but never this bad before. After my grandparents left I stayed with one of my grandparent’s friends for a week or two while my new living arrangements were being figured out. During the time I was there, going to school and all I grew sick and tired of all the chores she asked me to do. She would ask me to do something and than when I did it she would tell me it was wrong. I grew to really dislike this lady and it made me bitter and angry. But, now she is gone from my life forever and I’ll never have to paint her Shih Tzu’s nails pink EVER AGAIN.

Maybe I’ll lighten up over the winter and become the quiet bookworm I used to be, maybe not. I think not.

I glance out the window as the van comes to a halt. Adam jumps out of his care and opens the door. I hop out slipping my diary under my arm. He opens the trunk and pulls out all the luggage. I quickly grab my box and suitcase and turn to leave.

“Have a nice day!” I hear Adam say as I walk off. I stop and move the diary to my other hand and turn around to wave at him but now he is already gone.

I’m alone at the airport. A big airport.

I stumble inside, check in my bags and rush to security. After the long line for security I run to my gate. They are already bording and go straight to the line to get on the plane. I find my spot, E23, and sit down. I shut my eyes and hurry to fall asleep so I can’t feel the plane take off.

A girl sits by me, my little sister Emily, dressed in pink party dress radiating happiness. I look down at myself to see I am wearing the same dress, in a bigger size of course. We are in a car, a small car on a snowy road. She takes my hand and begins to play with it. A man walks into the road in front of us and everything goes black.

“Wake up! Hello? Come on, lady!” Says an angry man sitting next to me. I jump in my seat, take a deep breath and unbuckle my seat belt. I stand while the man next to me stands and runs to the lavatory. I can’t help but laugh, I’m the only one laughing in the whole plane. I exit the plane and quickly get outside of the Boise airport and find my taxi. He was holding up a sign saying “Hana,” I can’t help but laugh again. Despite my disturbing dream I smile and get in the taxi.

“So, where are you headed?” Asks the man. He reminds me of santa claus. After the brief brain fart I reply weakly,

“Sulver, Idaho.” He nods and starts the engine, we’re off. The man hums to himself, I recognize the tune being Beetoven. We go through several snowy streets and slowly leave the county ending up and hour later at a small train station. The taxi rolls to a stop.

“How much do I owe you?” I say loudly over his humming. He stops and points to the meter at the front of the vehicle. It costs $150. I’m shocked as I hand him the cash, leaving me with $150 to live off of.

I rush over to the entrance behind the other people, check in, and step onto the train. I rip out my ticket and hand it to the lady checking tickets. She looks at my ticket and scans it. The machine beeps and she points to the far end of the train. I grab my ticket and slip it back into my diary as I head off to my spot. Twenty-three X is my spot and I sit down when I see the number. There is a lady next to me sleeping with a peaceful expression on her face. I turn towards to window as the train starts up and the instructors talk over the intercom. I stare out the window and think of all the things I’m leaving, all the things I’ll never see again and try to hold back the tears.

Next stop, hell.

Description
Frays

“Have you ever considered life like thread? There are a lot of frays in it. Or, I guess you could call them problems.” Stated the social worker as she sat down beside me and tightly shut a cardboard flap.

She’s killing me with her happiness. I don’t think she realizes that she is just making me feel worse. Life is full of problems? Great! Nice job lady! I thought angrily picking at my fingernails.

“But eventually, those frays come together and make a scarf, or a hat! Even your shirt!” She exclaimed as she glanced at my shirt. I looked down at it, a skinny baby tee in deep blue with faded green stars and a frayed bottom.

Sure, the frays sure do come together to just fall apart in the end. That’s how it all ends. Nothing good comes out of anything. I listened to my thoughts as if I couldn’t control them, and realized how pessimistic I sounded. I moved my hand to my ear and twirled my earring with a hesitant pace. I lowered my gaze to my shorts, spotted with bleach on a washed out blue. “Hannah?” The calm posture and fake smile slowly melted away. “Hannah!” She sputtered scowling at me as I hummed to myself. I looked up, taking in her features for the first time. She had bright blonde hair and shallow blue eyes. I shut my eyes and thought of my mother, or what was left of my memory of her.

She had brown eyes, like me. But all I see in those eyes are pain and fear. She had red hair and a light skin tone. She looks just like me. Maybe, just maybe, she is me. Maybe I have no memory of my mother at all and she never existed to me. I guess the last time I saw her was when I was eleven, I can’t remember. Maybe if I could try to think…

“OW!” I yelp jumping back, clutching my head. The social worker’s face twists from anger to concern as she grabs me into a hug.

“It’s okay. Don’t cry. Just don’t think about it.” She squeezes me and lets go, brushing the hair from my face. I look down to her nametag on her chest, a neatly pinned nametag now tilted on her gray business suit. I decided I should stop being a snob, the woman Amanda had done nothing wrong.

“Amanda. I’m sorry for ignoring you. You tried to cheer me up and I just treated you like crap. It’s just my grandparents are in that nursing home now all because of me.” Amanda narrowed her eyes down at me and smiled for an instant.

“Now why do you think that?” She said, her fake smile gone. Clearly, she was done playing the “you’re going to be fine and you did nothing to deserve this” act. She wanted answers and she wanted to know them now.

“They took me only because my Aunt Stacy and Uncle Toby were going through problems. Well, they aren’t really my aunt and uncle. Just friends of the family, I guess.” I glance up, my eyes catching hers. What I see isn’t what I expected. She looks like she knows a lot more than I do, I ponder as I trace the outline of my sneaker.

“They aren’t.. Uh..” She stops, clearly caught off guard. She takes a deep breath and maintains herself. “Have you ever been to Sulver before?” She tilts her head, her blue eyes maintain the look of all knowing power.

She knows I haven’t. I know that’s where I’m going. So, instead of telling her something she already knows I throw a fastball.

“Sulver is that little town in the middle of nowhere.” I state, lifting my hand from my sneaker, placing it in my lap.

“Yes, it is. It’s very warm and nice during the summer though! You can just travel nearby and there is a nice lake you can have fun at! Right now, though, it’s really cold. Freezing, the high altitude is terrible. It might be snowing right now, maybe not. It rarely snows. It’s funny, everywhere else it snows but there…There is just…” She stops again. Glancing down at her skirt, she stares at it for a moment looking scared. “Um..I need to make a phone call, okay? Thanks! She gives me a light push towards the door. I stand up, and walk out with an awkward feeling in my stomach. I walk out the door and stop as soon as I turn the corner. I put my back to the wall watching the  opposite white wall, now bare.

So many pictures used to hang on this small wall. I can’t take it, it’s just too sad.

I hear the beeps of buttons being pushed, it’s a number.

“Mrs. Sohm?” She says in her confident “I’m qualified and I cost a lot of money” voice. “Yes. Yes. She’s with me. What? Oh. She is troubled, she blames herself because of this.” She laughs. “I know. It is. Yes, that’s what I said. I’ll put her on the plain today. Bye.” I slowly peek into my old room, the room Amanda is in. The sunlight bathes the room with a yellow glow. A single box sits on the floor next to a suitcase in the corner. In the center is Amanda, she rubs her hands across her face, pushing her hair back. I walk into the room and look down at her. She pushes herself up and picks up her purse. She looks down at her gold watch and gasps. “That shuttle better get here soon or your miss your plane!” A honk sounds from out front.

Perfect timing.

She hurries over and picks up the small box and sticks it under her arm. “Come on!” She gasps as she walks. I look at her than I look at my suitcase in the corner. I walk over, pull out the handle and pull it behind me. I lift it up behind me as soon as we head out of my old room and follow her down the stairs. She stops at the front door and laughs. “I should give you this! It’s a diary. Your grandparents said you loved the colors black and white. Write in it everyday, it’s a fun thing to do! Inside is some money and your tickets. Remember, when you get off the plane there will be a taxi waiting to take you to the train station!” She says quickly, full of smiles and follows me out to the shuttle bus. The man waiting by the bus grabs the box from Amanda’s hands and sticks it in the back. I walk over to him and set my suitcase by him. He picks it up and sticks it in the back too. He shuts the door and stops in front of Amanda. He is a man probably in his 50s with a neatly tucked in blue shirt and black slacks. His hair is gray and he had brown eyes, his skin is wrinkly and he is really tan.

“My name is Adam  and I will be taking you to the airport!” He says with a smile, he has a thick English accent. Amanda smiles and hands him four crisp bills, they look like twenties but you can never be sure. She gives one last look at me and gives me a tight hug.

“Good luck Hannah!” She says in an extra happy voice. She lets go of me and walks toward the front door turning around to wave at me. I look back at her and turn away to get into the car where Adam is holding the door open. I climb in and sit down at the only open seat right next to the door I just came in from.

Great, I can watch her wave goodbye.

I sigh and roll my eyes. Adam shuts the door and I watch her as she continues to wave. I look away form her at the little white house. The house had been my home since I was eleven and means a lot to me. But, I’ll never see it again.

A large citrus tree stands to the left of the door, it’s fruit growing in size. The little flowerbeds bursting with daises and other flowers that my grandma had taken so much time to take care of. But I guess you just get old and things change. I hate change. I look at the last attribute to the house, a large white sign with “SOLD” stamped across it in red letters.

But I guess I have no choice but to move on with my life and forget it all. Again.

“Hello! What’s your name!” Says the little boy next to me, he has big brown eyes and dark brown skin with his hair cut short. “My names David!” He holds out his hand and looks up at me.

“I’m Hannah. Nice to meet you.” I smile and reach out and shake his little hand. He nods and smiles.

“Now, Hannah where are you headed?” Says Adam as he looks calmly though the rearview mirror. He drives fast dodging in and out of traffic.

“Hell. That’s where I’m going.” I whisper to myself as David looks up at me with a confused look on his face. “I’m going to Sulver, Idaho.” I say louder as  I look down to the diary on my lap. The diary’s cover is black and white. It shows snow on the ground and pine trees in the background. The trees look smeared like whoever did the painting wanted it to stand out. But, to wrap it all together was a single red rose, halfway buried in the snow so you could only see the petals and two leaves. The rose is so red it looks like blood. The diary is bonded tightly with a black tape, I open it up and out flies a several fiftys and two tickets. I quickly grab them and slip them back inside my diary. I sigh and rub my hands together. It’s going to be a long day.

“It’s at least a two miles walk to Sulver itself!” You have to walk along a trail!” Adam says in a shocked tone. “Have you ever been there before?” I shake my head “no,” somewhat shocked he’d been there himself. “Well, it’s a really small town. There isn’t a school or anything either! You have to travel out to the Middleton High School which is about fifteen miles away. All the small towns go to Middleton so there are a lot of students attending. You wouldn’t believe how many tiny towns are scattered across those mountains! Sulver is just one of them! There’s probably thousands!” After learning all this information about Sulver, I feel slightly depressed over hearing that I would have to ride in a bus with a bunch of other kids to school for a long period of time. But, I’m still happy about all the money inside my new diary.

For once, I’m not sarcastic when I say “this is great!” I’ve always been sarcastic, but never this bad before. After my grandparents left I stayed with one of my grandparent’s friends for a week or two while my new living arrangements were being figured out. During the time I was there, going to school and all I grew sick and tired of all the chores she asked me to do. She would ask me to do something and than when I did it she would tell me it was wrong. I grew to really dislike this lady and it made me bitter and angry. But, now she is gone from my life forever and I’ll never have to paint her Shih Tzu’s nails pink EVER AGAIN.

Maybe I’ll lighten up over the winter and become the quiet bookworm I used to be, maybe not. I think not.

I glance out the window as the van comes to a halt. Adam jumps out of his care and opens the door. I hop out slipping my diary under my arm. He opens the trunk and pulls out all the luggage. I quickly grab my box and suitcase and turn to leave.

“Have a nice day!” I hear Adam say as I walk off. I stop and move the diary to my other hand and turn around to wave at him but now he is already gone.

I’m alone at the airport. A big airport.

I stumble inside, check in my bags and rush to security. After the long line for security I run to my gate. They are already bording and go straight to the line to get on the plane. I find my spot, E23, and sit down. I shut my eyes and hurry to fall asleep so I can’t feel the plane take off.

A girl sits by me, my little sister Emily, dressed in pink party dress radiating happiness. I look down at myself to see I am wearing the same dress, in a bigger size of course. We are in a car, a small car on a snowy road. She takes my hand and begins to play with it. A man walks into the road in front of us and everything goes black.

“Wake up! Hello? Come on, lady!” Says an angry man sitting next to me. I jump in my seat, take a deep breath and unbuckle my seat belt. I stand while the man next to me stands and runs to the lavatory. I can’t help but laugh, I’m the only one laughing in the whole plane. I exit the plane and quickly get outside of the Boise airport and find my taxi. He was holding up a sign saying “Hana,” I can’t help but laugh again. Despite my disturbing dream I smile and get in the taxi.

“So, where are you headed?” Asks the man. He reminds me of santa claus. After the brief brain fart I reply weakly,

“Sulver, Idaho.” He nods and starts the engine, we’re off. The man hums to himself, I recognize the tune being Beetoven. We go through several snowy streets and slowly leave the county ending up and hour later at a small train station. The taxi rolls to a stop.

“How much do I owe you?” I say loudly over his humming. He stops and points to the meter at the front of the vehicle. It costs $150. I’m shocked as I hand him the cash, leaving me with $150 to live off of.

I rush over to the entrance behind the other people, check in, and step onto the train. I rip out my ticket and hand it to the lady checking tickets. She looks at my ticket and scans it. The machine beeps and she points to the far end of the train. I grab my ticket and slip it back into my diary as I head off to my spot. Twenty-three X is my spot and I sit down when I see the number. There is a lady next to me sleeping with a peaceful expression on her face. I turn towards to window as the train starts up and the instructors talk over the intercom. I stare out the window and think of all the things I’m leaving, all the things I’ll never see again and try to hold back the tears.

Next stop, hell.