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enigma-theory β Rainfall
Published: 2010-01-01 08:29:38 +0000 UTC; Views: 1513; Favourites: 47; Downloads: 9
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Description
Weighed down with a heavy heart,Relentlessly tying myself in knots,
Alone in the cold night I stand,
With chilling rainfall all around me,
Tracing the outer lining of my constitution.
I remain still,
Seeking purification, hoping to wash away my sorrow.
Drenched, i reach out to feel the rain on my fingertips,
While elevating my hand toward my direction,
I watch the drops as they glide down my fingers and across my palm,
They slither beneath my sleeve,
The cool sensations vanishing to nothing the longer they run.
I then collect my thoughts and wonder,
Might this be what i am to become the longer i run?
It is apparent that my emancipation is overdue,
Emotions kept so deep within me,
Lurking in the darkest corners of my inner crypt,
Hysterically itching to break free.
They claw at my flesh,
Embossing my chest,
With a thirst to be declared to whom it may concern.
Reluctant to grant their freedom,
My chest remains concealed,
Never bare; always guarded,
And camouflaged with a smile.
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Comments: 37
thank u so much
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I liked the message this was giving, and how I could pretty much picture what was going on. The lines didn't seem stressed and it was overall a good poem. My only suggested is try to keep the lines closer to the same length and play around with rhyming more. It'd make it flow even nicer.
attempted critique from
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hehe thanks for the attempted critique 
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yeaah i'm not that good at critiques but i'm trying so i call it an attempt.
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hehe yeah i understand, i thought it was cute
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I have no critique for you, it was beautifully and powerful.
The only thing I saw at all was at the beginning you forgot to captialize an "I". That is the only way I think this could be improved.
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oh wow i dont know how i missed that, im very analytical about spelling and punctuation. thanks for that! it has been edited
and what u said means a lot, again thank u very much
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You're very welcome! I loved it.
I noticed I forgot to finish my sentence. I was trying to say that it is beautifully and powerfully written. ^ ^
Also, I'm glad I could help! I know I appreciate it when people tell me that stuff in my writing. We all help each other! It's how we improve.
Though, hon, you don't need any improvement if this poem is any indication!
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oh well thank u very much
aww u made me slime
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I shall check out your gallery very, very soon.
I must clear out my over abundance of deviations! Hehehe, I'm glad I did too, your poem was one of them!
I'm glad I made you smile.
You made me smile by watching me. Thank you!!!
And for the llama too!
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i'll say only
that poetry need not be guided
in a line / to line
break, with punctuation
dictating
i understand it's free and blank verse - makes it rather difficult to acknowledge form, of which i'm huge with writing. i get the sense that a lot of people might be believing every line break needs a punctuation mark
poetry is meant to be read punctuation to punctuation, line breaks providing a visual feel, not necessarily a break in thought
images are good 
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i dont know how to break out of that.. if i dont punctuate in the places i feel the sentence needs a break then i must.. its not so much placed whenever theres a break in thought, its more-so when i break in reading, and think there needs to be a slight pause. again i dont know how to break free from that, and i dont know exactly how poetry should be set out.. i write to express myself and pretty much neglect how or in which way i should be setting out my text. however i do appreciate u taking the time to comment and give me ur opinion, and if theres anything u can advise me with on how i can change the habit IF its absolutely necessary, then id be more then happy to have that from u
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nothing is necessary
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i really like this. the words and the imagery. great job.
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It has such a deep meaning and beautiful language. I love it, you have a lot of talent. The best poetry has meaning behind it.
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i believe that the best poety also has meaning, and for u to say that my work falls under that category is amazing! thank u so much i really appreciate it
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My pleasure you are very welcome ^.^
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"lurking in the darkest corners of my inner crypt"
Sent chills up my spine! great work!
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thank u.. its so great to know that one of my writings can have such an affect on someone.. u have no idea what that means to me
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You're very welcome! ^^
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Emotions kept so deep within me,
Lurking in the darkest corners of my inner crypt,
Hysterically itching to break free I *LOVE* those lines! This is amazing. You have a very unique way of expression; I like it! Bravo!
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thank u very much.. im flattered u think so, and im glad u like it.. ur comment was a huge compliment to me, i really appreciate u taking the time to read it
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You are very welcome!! Those comments were well deserved
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camouflaged with a smile..
a beautiful and true ending
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thank u sweets
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I like it
You've really achieved a sense of words interpretation, while maintaining sensibility in the poem. The poet's soul and mood is crucial;
I believe you truly let your emotion explode with every row you write and that's one of the facts I cherish the most in poetry.
Well done!
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yes i tend to write best when when the content derives from my emotions apparently, but how does one reply to a comment such as the one uv just given me? what u just wrote meant a lot to me, uv just lifted my spirits in a way i cant even describe.. thank u isnt enough.. i really dont know what to say except i appreciate every single word uv just posted
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When I read a poem, I usually want to discover the true meaning of it beyond the title, matter of surface, rhyme, structure and anything else; there is something more vivid and dynamic than just a simple wordplay. I have chosen to comment on this poem of yours because for it caught my attention at once.. for a good reason. Believe me, I rarely comment on someoneβs artwork, unless that piece has the power of giving me thrills.
I would like to see more
and I am glad I ..lifted you up a little.
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