HOME | DD
EthicallyChallenged — One to Go
Published: 2015-09-26 18:59:35 +0000 UTC; Views: 106880; Favourites: 1424; Downloads: 1007
Redirect to original
Description
Ever since I saw an illustration of a chainmail bikini for the very first time, I knew something was amiss. Later in life, when I picked up a pencil with a conscious decision I would become an illustrator, I knew that one day I might be called upon to paint a breastplate with a cleavage cut out. So far I was able to avoid painting any of that “sexy female armour” crap. Today I am conscious of the fact, that if a decent paying client comes along and my schedule happens to be clear, I will probably not be able to say no. But as any self respecting little whore, I do have one very important rule…
The first time will be on my terms.
Here's a little quiz for your consideration:
1. A female warrior's main concern is to stay:
a) alive
b) sexy
2. The main purpose of a man's armour is to:
a) look fierce
b) protect vital organs
3. The main purpose of a woman's armour is to:
a) protect vital organs
b) accentuate cleavage, waistline, hips and legs
4. To blow a runny nose, a man uses:
a) a MAN-SIZED tissue
b) a tissue
5. To carry personal items, a man can use:
a) a man-bag
b) a bag
6. To protect her vital organs, a female warrior uses
a) armour
b) female armour
7. Form follows:
a) function
b) the 90-60-90 ratio
Thank you kindly for your participation. Please send your answers to tits@ass.cum
Related content
Comments: 206
This is great art. At the same time while I understand where you're coming from this is a little 'oh, you'. I mean it's OK if sometimes women like to wear sexy armor. It's not always patriarchy and armor doesn't always have to make sense. I dunno...this just seems 'edgy'.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Just to clarify - I have nothing against sexy outfits. Just let's not pretend those outfits are "armor" Armor is for protection, and there can be no protection if you have a lot of skin showing, particularly in places where vital organs are located.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Eh I'm just being too nitpicky. I apologize. Calling your work 'edgy' is just plain rude.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Best of luck to the lovely lady, but seeing what has happened to friends I don't fancy her chances.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I love this. I think some part of me always wanted to see the people that wear this stuff get whats coming to them. If you wear armor on 20% of your body, your gonna get purposely hit on the 80% that's exposed.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Poor choice of armour, horrible turn of events. But hey if you wanna go to war dressed like a tavern damsel this is what you get.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Jesus, imagine having this much of a stick up your arse about getting paid for what seems to be a pretty straightforward picture. I mean, oh no, you had to draw a fantasy woman in fantasy armour and receive money for it, how troubling. Never mind the fact that female warriors were very rarely a "thing" from a historical standpoint anyway (women wearing European plate armour I can imagine being especially rare).
If you were asked to draw furry porn I could understand your reservations, but c'mon, lad.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
U wat m8? This is a personal illustration, what money are you talking about? Did you wonder in here after experiencing some traumatizing event and dropped a comment to vent some unrelated frustration?
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
Ahh, my apologies, I didn't realise it was personal work. Sorry for my antagonism. When I'm wrong, I'm wrong.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
No problem, don't worry about it.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Look, the guy's comment was out of line, but yours is just ignorant. Did you even read the description?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Can I ask you this?
1 what is my comment ignorant of, exactly?
2 what description do you mean?
thanks
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I have to say, I don't remember what I wrote here, and I don't know how to find it.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
That explains a lot.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Już dawno temu ukuło się określenie "zbroja erogenna". Zaś w przypadku większych pancerzy - "boobarmor"
Kawał dobrej roboty.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Brilliantly illustrated point.
A lot of "female armour" looks pretty dangerous, too - not just because of the lack of protection, or even the lack of padding, but also because the braplate looks like it's going to dig in the chest quite painfully, or even crack the breastbone if one falls forward wearing it.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I'm going to take a somewhat contrarian viewpoint as concerns the message of this picture.
For me, the problem is that drawing women fighters in sexy costumes (because, let's face it, just because it's made of metal doesn't make it "armor") is not that it privileges sex appeal over protection. There are reasons for not wanting to wear the heaviest armor one can find. Some are good (like climate), and some are head-scratchers (like the idea that the gods protect the naked), but there are reasons. Instead, sexy costuming tends to privilege sex appeal over the appearance of competence. With six-to-one odds, the Red Sonja Fan Club here should have been able to wrestle the armored swordswoman to the floor and stab her in her smirking face - which is what we would expect them to try if they were all dressed in the simple gambesons that common (wo)men-at-arms would have worn - because effective armor is expensive. They're being carved into cold cuts not because they lacked the ability to use their armor to absorb solid hits - but because they lacked the basic competence to avoid being hit in the first place (because armor or not, you want to be where the sword isn't) and use their greater numbers to their advantage. (The high heels aren't helping, but that's it's own issue.)
And so that, for me, is the takeaway - that the "sexy swordswoman" look telegraphs a lack of fighting ability - instead of looking at someone and seeing a skilled combatant, the audience is intended to look at them and see someone sexual. (The fact that most sexyswordswomen have supermodel, rather than athletic, physiques also plays into this.) And a large part of stereotypically feminine sexuality is an appearance of vulnerability. And so, yeah. No one expects a half-dozen harem girls to stand up to an armed opponent - the armored swordswoman in this picture doesn't need to be remotely skilled to manage this result, and if she has real fighting skills, she doesn't need the armor, since it's highly unlikely that any of the dead women could have managed to land a hit on her. And Blondie's biggest problems are 1) the fact that the armored woman's arming sword gives her significant reach, and 2) she can't make a break for it while in those stripperiffic heels without risking a sprained ankle.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
To all questions I'd give the more reasonable answer, but 7... 90-60-90 hands down!
Great fan of your work!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Nice picture. It had to be done.
Notes:
* In RPGs a spell-caster's outfit might appropriately be more of a statement than a practical item. So I tend to re-cast all the skimpy females as sorcerers.
* In modern fantasy art, the weapons are worse than the armor, over-sized and more a hazard to the wielder and companions than to the enemy. Even with simple knives people injure themselves doing mundane tasks, so imagine what would really happen with these double swords and such.
* In counterpoint, mobility and speed are more important in general. Ye olde Force = Mass x Speed Squared, meaning speed has vastly more impact on damage than mass, meaning small and fast can beat slow and heavy. Teenage slingers with stones have trumped (annihilated) myrmidons in heavy armor. Archers can destroy knights on horseback.
* In further counterpoint, consider the RPG art as an in-scenario artist's portrayal of a real character. "Hey, I like that!" In other words, the artist is drawing to please a real person who presumably pays for the portrayal, which will then play to the male/female sensibilities of people who might otherwise be identical in the armor they are wearing.
* The skimpies could have just run away.
Unrelated Confession: I thought this fit, but now I can't remember how.
* I never finished the second Lara Croft adventure because I got tired of listening to her screams when she fell into a pit of spikes.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Go go dancers in chain mail bikinis were always going to go down hard and fast.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I always wanted to do a movie- where you have women in chain-mail bikinis and bare-chested vikings( with horned hats) being slaughtered by people wearing historically/atanomically/practically correct armor- and show the world once-and-for-all just how fucking stupid chain-mail bikinis and horned-helmets are. GREAT JOB!!!! 
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Eh, I don't see the big deal. Especially in fantasy.
It's fantasy; as in not real. Dragon's are not only not real, but would be physically and biologically impossible if they were (it would be physically impossible for something of their size to fly, especially with the size of wings they're always depicted with) yet no one complains about how "unrealistic" or "impractical" their design is. Because who cares? It's fun. It's fiction. It's stupid from a scientific and evolutionary standpoint, yeah, but so what?
Same with chainmail bikinis and the Conan the Barbarian loincloth. Ridiculous in real life, sure. But I'll be damned if Red Sonia and Conan and any other character with impractical armor design (even the gals you have here) don't look good as they fight.
All of fantasy is stupid, impractical, and impossible. Why not have fun with it instead of getting upset about how this one particular aspect of it isn't "realistic" enough for a piece of fiction?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ahh that "Its fantasy" Argument.
Indeed it is, but there's a lot of us who love fantasy with some sense of realism, practical weapons and armors in this case, it doesnt have to be historically accurate.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ahh that "I prefer realism in my fantasy" Argument.
Indeed you may, that's fine, but LOTS of people don't. And MOST people don't care either way.
No fantasy is practical or realistic. It's physically impossible by its very name, and if you just stopped to think about any of it, NONE of it makes any sense, no matter how much of your perceived "realism" you try to cram into the armor design. It's irritating that some people insist on trying ramshackle "realism" into armor design while totally turning a blind eye to everything else that's unrealistic or impractical. Why is it SO important that this one thing is realistic, while everything else doesn't really matter as much?
I don't see why such a huge vocal group of people need to complain and shit on others who draw "unrealistic" fantasy. I've seen literally gigabytes of paintings (like this one), comics, angry blog posts, videos ect. of people insulting artists who don't draw armor the way they want. Yet I have never ever seen people who draw that kind of "impractical" fantasy art shitting on others who draw "realistic" fantasy art. (also I notice that it's almost always female armor that gets this treatment. When male characters wear impractical armor, nobody can be bothered to complain)
In closing, the problem is not that some people prefer to have "realistic" armor, it's the fact that guys who want this stuff usually act like total assholes about it to others, and like to make fun of anyone who doesn't conform to their weird obsession with making fantasy more realistic. Like whatever you want, but there's no need to mock others who don't like what you like.
And that's all I have to say about that. Good day.
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
i didnt mock anyone....nor did i say "X" thing must not exist just because i dont like it.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Problem with portrayal of unrealistic armour is obvious if you look at it.
All Dragon Age games. (manages to make a joke about it)
All Elder Scroll games.
All Dungeon Siege games.
All NWN games.
All IWD games.
All Warcraft games.
All Witcher games. (manages to avoid some tropes)
All Baldur's Gate games.
All Diablo games.
A hell of a lot of Asian games.
And then there's TV and Movies.
All the Xenas and Herculeses and whatnot.
How about... stop it or at least slow down with this nonsense?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Watch, I can do that too:
______________________________
Problem with portrayal of unrealistic monsters, like dragons, is obvious if you look at it.
All Dragon Age games.
All Elder Scroll games. (manages to make a joke about it)
All Dungeon Siege games.
All NWN games.
All IWD games.
All Warcraft games.
All Witcher games. (manages to avoid some tropes)
All Baldur's Gate games.
All Diablo games.
A hell of a lot of Asian games.
And then there's TV and Movies.
All the Game of Thrones and Herculeses and whatnot.
How about... stop it or at least slow down with this nonsense? I want more realistic, practical monsters in my fantasy stories because unrealistic monsters look stupid and make no sense why they would exist.
Why stop there? Why not have more realistic everything? Why are all the locations fantastical instead of realistic? Why are all the race impossible things like orcs and elves, not just human like it would be in any kind of real setting? Lack of realism in fantasy is stupid.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
It's because fantasy stays fantastical, but the clothing and armour that is comfortable and practical should look so at least in 3/10 games. Because it gets boring to see all the silly costumes being over-used.
It is you who is whinging about the minority who are whinging about the majority.
If you take a look at medieval fantasy in historical terms(illuminations and picture stories). Knights fighting giant snails and rats riding bunnies and such, the knights wear something that should at least protect them from those fantastical creatures.
Not the "Nipple-tassel of Graxor" and "Groinoroid of the Sexumizemaxor". It's getting old.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Yep, those medieval illuminations sure did have some realistic armor.
Especially that one with the giant, torso-sized lady with the burning torch and spear. That's PERFECT for fighting giant snails; it's exactly what I'd wanna wear.
Clearly, if you step out of your own bubble for a second and look at the broader fantasy audience, fantasy armor not getting old, because people still buy it, love it, and there's still an infinitely higher demand for fun, unrestricted fantasy design than the weird type of fantasy your describing, where silly and impractical is OK unless it's armor. And I still don't understand why unrealistic armor is bad but everything else is A-OK to be as nonsense as possible.
And seriously, are you really going to sit there and tell me REAL warriors in REAL life wore shit like this or this or this because it was "comfortable and practical"?
If you don't like fantasy the way it is, get into the industry and make your own games the way you want it instead of complaining on the internet about how other people aren't doing it for you. Nobody is faulting you for wanting historically-based armor in a fantasy setting; hey, I'd be fine with that too if someone were to make it. Lots of people would. What I'm apparently "whining" about is people like you or this guy aggressively and actively mocking people because they don't like what you like or think realism in armor is as important as you seem to.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thou hast beaten me. I yield!
But the links you showed me of European knights are crude, yet accurate portrayals of real armour. And heraldic helmet decorations are almost always portrayed in jousting or parade context. Or to show the reader who is who on the picture and would not have been worn into combat.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I have about three variations of this drawn, but I never got it right - dared not upload them.
But it seems you beat me to it.
Excellent.
Always wanted to see the fault of such armour portrayed viscerally.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I think she will suffer the same fate as the dead girl, with her guts hanging out or the girl in the forefront, losing her head....those vital organs were not protected. Her Manolo designed 'high heeled boots' may or may not help. To be positive when the knight swings his sword, her high heels tilt and she falls, avoiding decapitation but then when she's down she may face....disembowelment. Yikes, she can't win can she? 'Bloody' nice job though!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Hello:
The first time I saw the unffair differences people can do when designing armors was when I used to watch the "Mystic Knights of Tir Na Nog", if you see Deirdre's armor is much lighter than the other armors leaving some parts unprotected... but at least it did protect the vital organs 
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Who is to say the Bikini armor girl doesn't disarm the armored girl and stab her in the face and win???? Hum…Could happen.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I really love the style and work you done in the piece! And sending out a message!
I don't care for the sexy armor trope. If people like drawing people that way then sure go ahead; it's just doesn't suit me at all. I just see them as easy targets in a battle; that goes to ANYONE having their body exposed, male or female. Armor is meant to protect you and have you live another day. Trying to be a concept artist for games and looking into pieces of men and woman being exposed in a battle just urks me and any existing characters using the 'sexy armor' theme i see I would do a redesign of their armor for full functionality just for the fun head canon wise!
That's my rant. Otherwise you did an awesome job! 10/10
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Full plate armor time. Sometimes looking well protected is far better than looking sexy. Especially, if you are going to face all those long, sharp and deadly blades. ))
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
the most hypocritical part is that people will draw titty plate armor
but not donger armor:
scs.viceland.com/int/v17n3/htd…
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I did a far crappier drawing with a similar theme years back, not on the site anymore. Featured a practically armed and armored female warrior smacking another female warrior with her gauntlet for choosing armor that left a lot of exposed skin and an oversized hammer.
Way better execution on your part.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Hmm. I like sensible, practical armour , and I like silly fantasy female armour , but which is better? Only one way to find out.
FIIIIIGHT!
Marvellous work, by the way.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Before reading the comments. I just looked at this image for a minute trying to work out the story.
When I realised the state of the armour of the vanquished and the victor did I understand.
Made me chuckle this did and put a smile on my face.
Good job.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
That's good news, I was worried it would not read well. Thanks!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
not only is this piece beautiful but also hilarious 
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I hate seeing women killed..
Lol ,you should see Draculas armour from blade 3 Nuff said
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I like you.
Though I have nothing against the so called "sexy armor".
If I want to tell a story, sure - I would make things sensible and not exaggerated(unless there's a point to make) - like in this image(btw, I love the everything).
If I want a pin-up - yea, chainmail bikinis are totally sexy.
I do have an irrational aversion to high heels, regardless of context, that I just can't seem to shake, so I guess you might say I get your point.
Now have a watch!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
"If I want a pin-up - yea, chainmail bikinis are totally sexy."
I agree! My problem starts when people want to sell me the bullshit that it's "armor". Be honest and call it a sexy outfit and we're cool.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Nobody tells it like you tell it EC. Normally sarcasm and nuance doesn't come across in written text, but you pull it off every time. You tongue and cheeky sunuvabiscuit.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
<= Prev | | Next =>