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Description
*cue Monster opening instrumental by Lady Gaga*

[I implore you to read this in the more slow, seductive tone of voice you imagine Fae having.
For atmosphere.
Go on, humor me.]

Imma need all the little kiddies to leave the room, because Captain Fae's about to pour you some warm, super sexy tea.

Ya know, guys...
There's something about having come back from the brink that makes you feel really alive.
When you're confined to your bed for days, aching, wishing for death, ain't nobody got time or energy for a libido.
It sucks.
Then you wake up, and the stomach bacteria is happy again.
You're hungry for real food, you slept like shit the way it's always been rather than blacking out the second your head hits the pillow.
Your imagination rainbow-yeets back in, and then your sex drive comes crawling back.
It's like a breath of life, like...the panther is ready to pounce again.
...
Did you know having four or more orgasms a week improves heart health, among other things?
That's a fact, lovelies.
Funny how i'm overweight, have a poor diet, can't walk up eleven stairs without almost suffocating and have no reason to have a very functional heart, yet...
Somehow, I have perfect heart health and blood pressure.
I'm not saying it's because I fuck myself, but i'm also not saying it's not because I fuck myself.
I think ya'll know what I mean.
That's right; love yerself.

Stay sexy.~

---DO NOT STEAL MY STUFF!!!---

Description
*cue Monster opening instrumental by Lady Gaga*

[I implore you to read this in the more slow, seductive tone of voice you imagine Fae having.
For atmosphere.
Go on, humor me.]

Imma need all the little kiddies to leave the room, because Captain Fae's about to pour you some warm, super sexy tea.

Ya know, guys...
There's something about having come back from the brink that makes you feel really alive.
When you're confined to your bed for days, aching, wishing for death, ain't nobody got time or energy for a libido.
It sucks.
Then you wake up, and the stomach bacteria is happy again.
You're hungry for real food, you slept like shit the way it's always been rather than blacking out the second your head hits the pillow.
Your imagination rainbow-yeets back in, and then your sex drive comes crawling back.
It's like a breath of life, like...the panther is ready to pounce again.
...
Did you know having four or more orgasms a week improves heart health, among other things?
That's a fact, lovelies.
Funny how i'm overweight, have a poor diet, can't walk up eleven stairs without almost suffocating and have no reason to have a very functional heart, yet...
Somehow, I have perfect heart health and blood pressure.
I'm not saying it's because I fuck myself, but i'm also not saying it's not because I fuck myself.
I think ya'll know what I mean.
That's right; love yerself.

Stay sexy.~

---DO NOT STEAL MY STUFF!!!---