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FelisGlacialis — Help me
#black #abyss #bigcat #darkness #fear #feline #terror #håkan #siderian
Published: 2018-11-18 22:47:58 +0000 UTC; Views: 6511; Favourites: 475; Downloads: 0
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Description
....this is the black siderian named Håkan....(see here Hakan charactersheet )
and how he reached me on the 11th of June 2018.
he's a big long-lined black feline, as tall as a horse
I saw him for the first time in July 2010 and got to know him a little better in January 2012, but never had he really been in contact with me. I never really liked him because of his dark story.
(see here )I have explained this in an earlier drawing already ( )...but throughout autumn 2017 and spring 2018...I began to see more of him and I felt him around sort of...mostly through music. I learned that his extreme violence and darkness had a very sad background and I got to see the tormented, sensitive soul behind his powerlust. I learned that after his bloody death, his soul got trapped in a terrible place....From there, he tried to reach me for some reason...but hadn't managed until that day in June 2018.
This drawing shows how he broke what I call 'the communication-barrier'. It was a rather symbolic vision.
Suddenly, I saw him hang on a sort of cliff...the brink of the abyss....with vile grey energy threads that tried to suck him down into the void. Never had I seen such a terror-face on a siderian before. He was in uttermost fear and panic...not to fall again...into this pit of excruciating torture. Then suddenly, there was a light gray paw. Matthias' paw (Håkan's son).He planted his claws deeply in Håkan's paw, just like Scar grabbed Mufasa in the Lion King (indeed, this scene with Håkan reminded me a lot of TLK)...but Matthias didn't let him fall. Instead, he tried to pull him up. He had to hurt Håkan yet again, but this time....to save him. Then suddenly, the scene changed. Now, it was me hanging there, with Håkan clammed onto me and with Matthias's claws planted in my paws...
Since this strange vision, Håkan never left me. Since then, he is with me; he talks and communicates with me and he has become my closest spiritual companion. We have became soul-brothers. After he had truly reached me, a LOT more has happened. A lot of these spiritual things, I will show, through the many more drawings to come...
So my gallery is gonna be quite blackened and on fire...ye be warned.
Senseless comments are not appreciated
Art and all by me. Don't copy/use without my permission
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Comments: 68
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quite intense yeah...
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I know this expression.... I've felt it far too many times on my own face.... still do. This is too real, far too real. I have no idea how you've managed.... but I see myself in him and I know exactly what he feels. That says enough.
Read the description.... I kind of believe you drew more than you realize. A lot more.
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Damn yeah...
From the things you've told me - I can understand.
Hm curious what you mean there. I just drew exactly what I saw...in that strange vision.
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I meant as in feelings. I just see so much in it that I don't feel sure all of it was even consciously intended....
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He looks so afraid, so pained and desperate. The emotions just hit so ahrd, when i look at this picture - and I somehow want to help him. You are really good at catching those emotions in your pictures.
It's good to hear that Matthias saved him - even if he had to hurt him again for this.
Aside form that the amount of detail is stunning. How you did the fur and his claws - and also that dark background.
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Yeah, I was quite shocked myself when I saw this terror face...Especially on someone who otherwise looks so stern and intense. But I already knew that he is more expressive than Stian - but this was...quite a lot stronger than I had ever seen before.
It was his son Matthias who had killed him in a terrible way...but he was also the one responsible for his rescue. I still have a hard time fathoming that...I just can't understand what is going on in Matthias' mind...but he's definitely an interesting fellow...
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I can totallay understand that you were shocked to see him like this.
Maybe you'll someday get to know why he saved him after all what happened between them.
It's defintily interesting - and it shows that there is more to someone than what they did during being "alive"
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Thanks! I'm in a way glad that that falling-feeling came through....I honestly didn't expect to see such a thing from him either. I know he had felt terrible things, among them fear...but I had never seen it on his face. He had that stern bad-ass face in his charactersheet..so even more so was I shocked to see him with these big eyes, full of terror. His ears were so flat, I could hardly see them.
Indeed...he's allright now and I may even give him the chance to tell his story...I still have to think about how...
But indeed...Jerald's story is also very touching. Unfortunatily it was way too short - but in the short life that he had, he had done really good things for the world. Indeed, if more humans would have been like him - the world would have been a much better place for all living beings.
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This made me think of the lyrics:
"Say it for me, say it to me
I'll leave this life behind me
Say it if it's worth saving me"
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Thanks.
That's beautiful
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Actually he is...a very loyal friend
I'm glad you sense that in him
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next time just throw a rock to fine out time what over the hill
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Just a dum take on the old saying of look before you leap
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sorry, I am a weird one... that was the first thing comming to my mind
great piece of art btw
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You know well, how I feel about Håkan, and this work has caused me very strong emotions ... Fear. I feel an strong fear of the unknown: his eyes are full of voiceless supplication about salvation from darkness, from the dark abyss of emptiness, where to pulls him down... This is very frightening. But what Matthias did gives a feeling of relief ... Despite all the suffering, what Håkan hurt him, he saved him. Matthias had to hurt his father again, but this time he caused pain in the name of salvation, not allowing him to dissolve into the void without a trace ... This is a very strongly emotional work, and I feel, what it was not easy for you and Håkan. But you made it possible for his soul to merge with yours, and now all those scars of the past, that were part of him, the heavy burden, what he carried alone, you share together with him.
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Thanks a lot for this precious comment. You really have such an insight in him - I'm everytime astonished. It was indeed difficult to both see and draw this. But I felt I had to. These big terrified eyes just didn't leave me and the only way to process that I saw was to draw it. And to realize that it was actually Matthias who sort of got him out -even though this scene felt rather symbolic- was very surprising and emotion evoking too.
I have seen a lot more since then and indeed, some things were yet again heavy...but he's with me now...and he's Home. Truly Home....
But that is a long, long story. I have meant to get back to you again...because we had interesting thigns to talk about and there is a lot more that I can show.
Some of it I might share on DA...but I'm a bit hesitant...becuase it is very personal for both Håkan and me....and senseless comments can hurt us. Him more than me though. So I have to be careful. But I want to share this and so does he.
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Thank you, mutually for sharing this spiritual and strong work with us, despite the fact, that this was emotionally heavy, because any outsider comment can deeply hurt with stupidity and misunderstanding ...
Oh, you should not be surprised: I really feel and understand him deeply - but this is rather not my feelings, but the one, who is a part of me. I once mentioned him in the notes, but it was a long time ago... Håkan’s internal torments and how you help him deal with them, as well as the act of Matthias, are certainly important to him ...
Yes, we had an unfinished conversation in the notes, I still clearly remember this, but take your time. Return to it when you see fit. I will wait. And I would really like to see more art with Håkan, even what does not appear in the da, gallery in order to better understand it.
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Yeah true. It is for you guys, my friends, that I post this. Also on Håkan's behalf.
But indeed - I have to be careful with what I show because some comments can hurt him quite badly, often more than me.
And yeah I already noticed that a while ago, that even with the little bit of information that I gave, you understood him more than most others did.
I would like to get back to some of our conversations but I'm also writing a lot about Håkan's story right now, so it's difficult. But I will try to get back to you soon.
Otherwise, just poke me again with a note or something.
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We will not fall again. I will not let that happen. It will hurt, I know that, but we will overcome. And then we will stand on the top of that cliff, exhausted and bleeding, but with the abyss behind us and a new life in front of us.
Me being poetic again. You keep having these... spiritual... artworks, and I can always... understand them. At least in my way.
Of course, wonderful artwork, as always.
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Aww thanks! Really beautiful words...I'm glad that this inspires some poetry - Håkan would like that actually. I've always felt that that's something he would have tried (but then he's an artist...) - and maybe I can try to let him write something...
It also does me good to hear that these spiritual drawings, no matter how terrible, reach you - and that you feel such an understanding.
Really, that means a lot!
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Here, take my hands. I will save you. Cats rule, big cats rule big-time. S.
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Thanks. That is appreciated.
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I know this was not easy to see, not easy to draw, and not at all easy to share here... But you have done well. And... seeing this again here... actually gives me a bit of courage to keep trying because I was near to just take everything away again. But I will try to be brave...
Also I know there are some comments that while are not intended badly are insensitive of what's happening and I don't want you to be without support.
You know already how I feel about this one. And I still shiver to remember you first describing this moment to me. But again- while those claws dig into you, there is a way. And I believe together you will find it.
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Aww I'm glad that this may motivation you to keep your more personal works up...but still..that is entirely up to you and Vivian.
And indeed, it was not easy. Sometimes I actually regret havng put this on DA. Despite the 400+ faves (which surprises me)...I feel like this on the limit of being too personal for Håkan and me. And then of course there are those who don't look further than the comparison with TLK and can't see the person in question here... Quite annoying.
Therefore I really appreciate your comment here *purrrrs* - someone who truly cares.
Thanks a lot...again...
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Well I can understand why you feel that way, and that's another reason I wanted to make sure I said something right away to rebuff that nonsense... that some of us do care and understand...
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this is so beautiful in one way. It's always nice to have beings, who care about you, when you see no one physical to seem to care about you <3
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Thanks! It's an heavily emotional drawing, but it marks the start of a new, unique spiritual relation.
And indeed - not all friends are physical...Håkan proves that strongly
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I admire your courage to publish such intimate moments with your spiritual friends. Mostly I keep this for myself, except for one person.
I wish you all the best for the future of you two
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Thanks. It does take quite some courage. Especialy if you get senseless comments that hurt. They hurt Håkan more than me even.
So in the future, I will be careful with what I post. But I will try to continue. There are more very personal drawings on the way.
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