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FirstSarge — Customer Support
Published: 2011-11-12 13:26:22 +0000 UTC; Views: 583; Favourites: 10; Downloads: 4
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"Thank you for calling BIOMEK customer support. My name is Tammy, how may I help you today?""Hi Tammy, I'm having a little problem with my domestic. I am a little frustrated here. I hope you can help me."
"I am sorry to hear that. I'll do my best to help you. Before we begin I'll need the registration number of your BIOMEK domestic."
"I have the number around here somewhere, oh yes, here it is. It's T11H38X."
"Thank you Ma'am. Let me just enter that and take a look at your account… Hmm… I see you had a prior issue with this product."
"Yes, we had a poodle and one of the options we purchased with the domestic was the pet grooming download."
"Yes Ma'am, and what was the problem?"
"There was… unpleasantness…"
"Yes… ?"
"Well… we didn't find all of Precious."
"I am so sorry to hear that. I know how you must feel. I'm a dog lover too. I was so sad when we had to put little Tinkerbell down when the new line of Dachshunds were released. What is the issue you are currently having with your BIOMEK home domestic unit?"
"Well, the domestic answered the door when the letter carrier arrived this morning."
"Yes Ma'am?"
"The front porch is quite a mess."
"Oh dear. And the mailman?"
"Pieces I'm afraid. It's the Precious incident all over again."
"Have you informed the authorities Ma'am?
"No. Do you really think I should?"
"Yes Ma'am, I rather think you should. After all, there are others waiting for their mail."
"I hadn't though of that. Yes, I wouldn't want my neighbours inconvenienced. There would be talk at the next neighbourhood association meeting. It's a gated community you know."
"Well, we wouldn't want that. Okay Ma'am, I see your product is still under warranty. I will issue a repair order. I just need a little information first to update your account. Would you please verify…"
"Oh Dear. Oh No. I'm sorry, I will have to call you back. I have to go. I'll be calling you right back."
"Ma'am?"
"The children just arrived home from school…"
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Comments: 24
Perfect. The way you write conversations is so natural and easy. Humorous, too. You, my dear man, are excellent.
I'm not stalking you, by the way. I'm looking at groups with things that require commenting; you've cropped up a little.
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I am from a small town near Dallas. I have seen how some Galactically wealthy people treat their servants and those who are "below" them. Not badly, but barely worthy of their notice. It would not surprise me if a scene such as this did play out one day in Dallas.
Tammy is real and she does just what she is doing here. The real Tammy is slightly more compassionate to the grisly deaths of mail carriers though.
Thanks again for the kind words.
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That unit must have been extremely pricey for that woman to have kept it after it killed her dog. I hope the god and the mail man was a robot too. Otherwise this future world is without morals. Creepy and funny story!
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I found this to be a brilliant short read. Very clever. 
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Thanks. You know there is a chance you might go to Hell for reading my work. Here's a true story. My brother could not be baptized in the church I was. It burned down not long after. My brother was baptized at St. Mary's... it is no longer there either... something to do with lightning so they say. Be careful reading this stuff.
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Thanks, I wrote that for an associate, who coincidently happens to be named Tammy and just so happens to work in Customer support.
I'm glad you liked it.
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As said before, fine piece of pure dialogue tale telling. Your toning it down comment is actually irrelevant as upping the bloodshed quota would have spoiled the conversational nature without changing the protagonists.
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So I nearly fell out of my chair laughing at the end. It shouldn't be funny. Reliance on machines will eventually be our downfall I'm sure. I know people who can't cook if they aren't using a microwave.
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Thanks.
The woman in it is real. She does actually does Tech Support and has had some bizare calls. None like this though... YET. The stories she does tell are great.
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My boy friend works tech support and I have experience in Customer service call centers. Its amazing the calls that come through.
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I know. The stories I hear. 
If you don't take the calls personally, they can be pretty funny.
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Oh, hello pure dialogue mayhem delivered in inimitable FirstSarge style.
Oh, Aibo, what a legacy you left...
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Two of my favourite things, dialogue and mayhem. Of course I toned it back for the kiddies. No overt bloodshed. I am getting soft in my old age.
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Yes... what of the children...? Bwahahahahaha.
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Thanks, I couldn't stop laughing when I wrote this. I am going to have to move to a new Starbucks to write.
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I loved it. especially the last line about the kids.
How have you been?
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Yeah, I was pretty proud of that.
You know, I was thinking about how I've been, and it got me to how jaded and cynical I have become. So with out my dour outlook on the world, I will say: "I've been doing pretty well, thank you for asking."
Of course I said that through gritted teeth.
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Yeah, I didn't want to make it too obvious.
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