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Published: 2011-09-03 16:42:01 +0000 UTC; Views: 295; Favourites: 3; Downloads: 0
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"Jesus jumpin' Christ," ejaculated Cpl. Davidson before he died. Though clad in nearly impervious plasteele body armour, his head was cleanly ripped from his body."Run away, run away," the rest of the men in his squad screamed as they fell pell mell over one another. The creatures went by different names; Bandersnatch, Grendels, Jabberwockies. Vicious Motherfuckers, or VM's, was not an uncommon term.
Whatever they were, they certainly weren't the creatures that created and piloted the immense spacecraft that had taken up residence in Earth orbit. No, these were brutal mindless beasts that appeared to kill and destroy anything without a conscious thought. A biological killing machine.
Lt. Fenwick let out a deep sigh as he watched his men hauling ass across the plain with a Jabberwocky trailing close behind. Their enhanced speed, augmented by the armour, was no match for the creature. Much to the terror of the fleeing men, the beast quickly gained.
"Vorpal ready," barked the Leftenant.
"Vorpal weapon ready, Sir," replied his gunner.
"Wait for it. " The Lt. raised his field glasses just in time to see another of his men fall beneath the scythe like claws of the beast. It paused just long enough to shred the hapless soldier before resuming the chase. The drawback of the Vorpal weapon was its range in an atmosphere. It spat a stream of tiny magnetically accelerated ferro/tungsten particles at seemingly relativistic velocities. In the near vacuum of space, the range was virtually limitless, in an atmosphere as dense as that of Earth however…
"Hold your fire until you have range," Fenwick ordered as another of his men fell to the loathsome nightmare. The gun crew watched in anguish as their comrades fell while they remained impotent until the bastard could be drawn within range.
"Wait for it… wait for it…" Despite the bunkers chill conditions, imparted by the weapons coolant system, beads of sweat rolled down the young officer's face . "Almost there… almost… FIRE."
The Vorpal emitted a muted shushing sound as mag accelerated particles, little larger than course sand, issued forth in a coherent pencil thin stream. At hyper velocities the trillions of individual particles took on a solid aspect that sheared through the monsters nearly invulnerable exoskeleton and severed it neatly in two. Though mortally wounded, the torso of the Jabberwocky still pursued its prey at speed with its four upper appendages and managed to decimate another soldier before it expired.
Despite the daemons recent demise, the remaining men of the patrol continued to hastily beat feet back to the safety of the bunker. While the exhausted men shed their armour in the cramped bunkers antechamber, Lt. Fenwick called his company HQ requesting a mortuary team to retrieve his fallen soldiers. Clicking his teeth, he logged off the company freq and turned to Master Gunnery Sergeant Kalnick.
"Bad day Gunny. Bad fuckin' day."
"Yeah LT. I just wish we could get a 'wok alive."
"Why? There's nothing we can learn from them. They're little more than a living automaton programmed to destroy. They're mindless."
"Yeah, I know. I just want to see how long one would hold out against my mother-in-law."
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Comments: 34
Rafellin [2011-11-20 15:07:56 +0000 UTC]
Chuckle. Troop humour as a strees release for life or death situations is always a favourite of mine. Like the anti-Python interpretations too.
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All-My-Darkness [2011-09-20 21:16:48 +0000 UTC]
[link]
Nice to see the hat being tipped and quotes coming down like rain.
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FirstSarge In reply to All-My-Darkness [2011-09-20 22:22:26 +0000 UTC]
Actually, although I thought Army Of Darkness was great,that wasn't the reference. The biggest references were to Monty Python and Terry Gilliam.
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All-My-Darkness In reply to FirstSarge [2011-09-21 18:32:44 +0000 UTC]
Im sure I said this yesterday.
Maybe I was drunk.
No.
I was definitely drunk.
But Maybe I did not..so..
Sarge..
BRING ME A SHRUBBERY!!
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FirstSarge In reply to All-My-Darkness [2011-09-21 19:24:42 +0000 UTC]
You were drunk. I was sober. You didn't share. YOU BASTARD!
A nice shrubbery... and not too expensive...
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All-My-Darkness In reply to FirstSarge [2011-09-22 19:55:15 +0000 UTC]
One of these days we will get shitfaced
In a bar and start and fight.
Now THATS
Sharing.
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FirstSarge In reply to All-My-Darkness [2011-09-22 20:07:21 +0000 UTC]
It's interesting how my mind works.
Your comment got me to thinking about bar fights, to thinking about bar fights with lesbians on my side, to commanding an army of lesbian warriors, to being thankful that Hitler did not have lesbians on his side.
I could go on, but it would just get ugly.
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All-My-Darkness In reply to FirstSarge [2011-09-22 20:12:34 +0000 UTC]
Haha..
One mans ugly
Is another mans 3rd Reich led lesbian bar fight assistance.
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FirstSarge In reply to All-My-Darkness [2011-09-22 20:23:56 +0000 UTC]
Imagine. A legion of black armoured lesbian warriors marching on the battle field, G3's slung over their shoulders, and a Colt .45 strapped on their shapely hips. Knives stuck in their boots, and... oooh... oooh... ah... ah... aaahh... excuse me I, uh, I have to clean up...
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All-My-Darkness In reply to FirstSarge [2011-09-25 21:37:42 +0000 UTC]
Um.
I have to uh...go to..ah...
Alcafrolics anon meeting...
or some shit
That stops me having to hang out while you close your eyes
and pretend to look for a lighter in your pocket
when you don't even fucking smoke.
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leyghan [2011-09-17 12:40:51 +0000 UTC]
Bwahahahahahahaha! Great descriptions and that last line surprised a lart out of me.
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FirstSarge In reply to leyghan [2011-09-17 14:08:18 +0000 UTC]
Thanks.
Okay, I am familiar with the term "shart", from my old Army beer days.
I am also familiar with "vurp", again from my Army days, but was is "lart"? I think I have an idea, and that scares me.
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leyghan In reply to FirstSarge [2011-09-17 18:53:40 +0000 UTC]
laugh + fart = lart. Did you guess right?
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KreepingSpawn [2011-09-07 07:34:10 +0000 UTC]
The Gunny's a hard, hard man.
I expect that's why we keep him around.
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SRSmith [2011-09-06 03:57:19 +0000 UTC]
Way too much fun.
Couple of minor things - course (coarse) sand, issued forth in a coherent pencil thin (pencil-thin) stream...
I've a tenner the MIL makes it tear out its own eardrums in 5 minutes, tops.
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FirstSarge In reply to SRSmith [2011-09-06 16:03:49 +0000 UTC]
A Catholic or Jewish MIL could have it comitting suicide from guilt in that time.
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SRSmith In reply to FirstSarge [2011-09-06 16:43:29 +0000 UTC]
There's a truth I've enough sense not to bet against!
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FirstSarge In reply to SRSmith [2011-09-07 01:20:52 +0000 UTC]
I'm going to resubmit Snicker with the changes.
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msklystron [2011-09-04 05:02:34 +0000 UTC]
It's been a while since I've come across a story with 'ejaculation' in the opening line...
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FirstSarge In reply to msklystron [2011-09-04 23:45:41 +0000 UTC]
Huh huh huh... he said "ejaculate" ahh huh huh huh
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FirstSarge In reply to msklystron [2011-09-13 22:46:46 +0000 UTC]
This stems from my love of Terry Gilliam films.
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msklystron In reply to FirstSarge [2011-09-17 22:37:32 +0000 UTC]
Gotta agree with you there. Gilliam gives his audiences a feast for the eyes and brain.
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FirstSarge In reply to Isengim [2011-09-03 23:07:22 +0000 UTC]
Thanks. I had five references in one story. A new record for me.
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Centauran [2011-09-03 17:26:37 +0000 UTC]
Pretty good - I enjoyed it. Not sure how you'd decimate just one soldier, though - which tenth do you cut off? Oh ... that tenth ... wow! ... it was big enough to be a whole tenth ...?
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FirstSarge In reply to Centauran [2011-09-03 23:05:24 +0000 UTC]
Yeah, now that you mention it, it doesn't work since in a squad of this type there would have been ten to begin with and two were already dead.
Thanks, I'll make the change.
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