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Free-Fall — Dying
Published: 2006-09-22 05:43:11 +0000 UTC; Views: 112; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 1
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Description
Creeping through the floorboardsFilling all her thoughts
The time has come my quite friend
To do what she could not
she can’t help it
She’s tired
Just cant do this anymore
A well thought out conclusion
Make sure to lock the door
thoughts of how to change this
Quickly flitting through her head
Her minds made up
Her deed is done
And now she lays there dead
Her time was not her own to keep
Her path was long and hard
Her pain just wasn’t worth it
Just couldn’t keep up her souls guard
No one saw her hurting
If they did they didn’t care
No one sees her bleeding
So now her souls not there
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Comments: 8
It seems better to me..i dont know if you changed it, or i read it differently!
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Nope, no changes made...maybe its just one of those poems that gets better with time...like wine or something.
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I ahve the same rhyming problems too. And for the poem...its not one of my favourites youve done..I like paragraphs 1 3 and 5, but the others sound a little funny.
Sorry...haha i feel kinda guilty for saying that stuff cuz i usualy dont have anything but "Thats awsome" to say
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Yah, I only put it up cuase I needed to put some writing up, and its not like I have thought/said that about some of your stuff before.
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This is true...I no longer feel guilt, not that I really felt it anyway!
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Very good. Depressing, yes, but good. When I ever try to write gothic, depressing or even serious, I end up writing funny and odd things about pineapples. O_o
Ah, poetry. People think emo poetry is a new thing, but oh no, there has been teenage emo angst poetry since there were teenagers.
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true, very true...haha, I like pineapples
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