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Gamzeeswaifu — Gamzee and me Chapter 1
Published: 2012-02-21 13:53:42 +0000 UTC; Views: 12491; Favourites: 21; Downloads: 35
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Description I woke up feeling pretty bad because I had ran out of faygo the day before. I decided to just go get some in store before I ate breakfast because breakfast without faygo can only mean a bad day.

I couldn't go out without dressing up though, because I'm a lolita and lolitas have to be very fashionable and lady like. Even though my nighgown was pink and frilly, it also was a bit transparent and you could see my nipples when it was cold so I decided not to use it, even if I liked the ribbons on it.I'd keep it for when I sleep and show it to my boyfriend when I get one.

I slipped out of it, going into my shower and enjoying it a lot, before grabbing my chocolate chess angelic pretty dress to shrug it on, adding nice bloomers and socks and maryjane with it, and a nice ribbon in my pink hair after curling them. I looked very pretty and ladylike now, knowing I could get my faygo cheaper because the shopkeeper found me so kawaii he didn't have the heart ot make me pay.

When I walked in the street to go there, everyone turned to look at me in awe. Everyone loved me because they knew I was the prettiest person in town, and the most fashionable. Some boys even said things like "she's so kawaii omg..." She just knew everyone here couldn't help but either be jealous of her weeaboo style of life or kawaii and sugoiness.

She started to feel a little dizzy, having missed a meal made her feel light in her head a bit. She kept on walking, getting to the faygo store where she bought a bottle but didn't pay because as she predicted the shopkeeper went "omg Tsuki-sama, you're too good I can't make you pay."

As she walked out of the store, she noticed a really pretty man not far; he was unusual, just what she liked, what with his horns and his grey skin. A troll, no doubt, but those were rare nowadays, since they all died like Tavros some years ago. He was really sugoi, with his juggalo make up and his way to drink the faygo with some drops rolling along his chin and perfect neck, his adam apple going up and down sexily. She blushed a little, her pink blood rushing to her cheeks as she exited the store, feeling very shy all of a sudden.

But then she bumped into  thugs . One of them had very long horns and a mohawk and grey skin and laughed meanly, it was not kowai... He stole her ribbon and started to push her calling her mean names when the beautiful stranger came out of there.

"tAvRoS, sToP iT yOu MoThErFuCkEr!!!"

I watched as the pretty stranger punched him in the guts hard to protect me, his arm around my waist as I pressed my face against his many and muscled sugoi chest, my blue and green eyes shut and my heart going doki doki.

He punched him hard through the face, killing him off, smiling happily when it was done. he other thugs ran away as he lifted me bridal style, looking at me with a small indigo blush, my own pink blush almost matching (because indigo and pink aren't the same colors but they go very well together in sweet lolita dresses.) We stared into each others soul, our orbs meeting. We both knew by now we were in love, and had met our destiny there and then.
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Comments: 465

ForestSatir [2016-03-12 01:10:21 +0000 UTC]

I lost like twenty brain cells 

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

MakaAlbarn012 [2016-02-17 22:58:00 +0000 UTC]

nO mOtHeRfUcKEr. JuSt No.

 

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

MonaRaccoon [2015-09-04 19:49:31 +0000 UTC]

You Know.
Im Stuck On Homestuck And Homestucks Stuck On Me.
But
Just
MoThEr
FuCkInG
No.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Mayazra [2015-04-23 09:05:11 +0000 UTC]

That made me happy to read. The wonder of troll-fics. I love it. It has strange hulucinating Mary Sue loitias, a really angry zombie tavros and a randomly herioc gamzee. What's not to love? People need to relax and think critically about things and not get so worked up about it.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

xclaux In reply to Mayazra [2015-05-20 01:55:05 +0000 UTC]

Haaaaaay bb you're here <3

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Mayazra In reply to xclaux [2015-05-21 12:18:33 +0000 UTC]

But of course

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

kelisstevens [2015-04-08 11:35:49 +0000 UTC]

Why is this a thing. Why is ANY of this a thing? I'm just- I would try to explain to you what everyone's angry about but you wouldn't understand. 

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

QueenDreaveev [2015-02-22 20:44:31 +0000 UTC]

W.O.W..... smdh....

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

RedsAwesomeAdopts [2015-01-06 03:45:27 +0000 UTC]

I'M CRYING THIS IS GREAT

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

SmoothieFlakes [2014-12-21 23:05:53 +0000 UTC]

Why, just why.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

KittyKattyz [2014-08-12 12:07:56 +0000 UTC]

WAT.
WHY.
Why.
WHY YOU USED GAMZEE FOR THIS SHIT?!.
AND TAVROS...
WTF??..
PLZ DELETE THIS ALL...

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

WhizlaPotato [2014-07-18 14:14:44 +0000 UTC]

I....I don't get it.


...no...I just...I'm sorry but...for me....this story was really cute at first, but then with all the Japanese slang (look, I LOVE the Japanese words you use but...you use them too much and I'm becoming sick of it), and the sudden appearance of TAVROS, which really made me confused because you said he was dead. What? He was resurrected or something? Did he have a grudge on something or someone that he went back to life? And maybe this thing is an AU fic, but Tavros doesn't act like that. I think it would be totally suitable if you put Vriska on it.. (no hate on Vriska!) 

And...your character is...a total "PERFECT GIRL". It's so...Mary Sue.

and one more thing...

DOKI DOKI? Really?

....you could use some improvement...this story is actually good and cute but, you could try being more careful the way you arrange the scenes.

Your story is cute. I somehow liked it. :3

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

PamnCakes [2014-07-07 22:15:38 +0000 UTC]

Hahahahahaha.....You have problems girl....

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Echoawesome [2013-11-13 20:08:39 +0000 UTC]

this is..... quite a interesting piece of literature, but whats with all the japanese slang? 

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Jazzberryy [2013-09-21 15:17:11 +0000 UTC]

....

👍: 0 ⏩: 2

MonaRaccoon In reply to Jazzberryy [2015-09-04 19:51:26 +0000 UTC]

This is pretty much everyones reaction to this story
10/10
100/100
best comment.

👍: 0 ⏩: 2

Jazzberryy In reply to MonaRaccoon [2015-09-09 17:38:41 +0000 UTC]

i sounded to stupid back then  omgggggg this person is a troll she wasnt even serious omg i feel like the biggest idiot ever

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

MonaRaccoon In reply to Jazzberryy [2015-09-13 06:36:48 +0000 UTC]

Me too

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Jazzberryy In reply to MonaRaccoon [2015-09-06 13:03:58 +0000 UTC]

yass

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

MonaRaccoon In reply to Jazzberryy [2015-09-07 18:23:39 +0000 UTC]

yasssss

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Meriloid In reply to Jazzberryy [2013-11-28 02:11:06 +0000 UTC]

IM LAUGHIGN SO HARD

👍: 0 ⏩: 3

MonaRaccoon In reply to Meriloid [2015-09-08 21:48:47 +0000 UTC]

lollollollollollollollollollollollol

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

homestuckizawsum In reply to Meriloid [2014-06-06 00:08:06 +0000 UTC]

Me too XD

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Jazzberryy In reply to Meriloid [2013-11-29 22:46:49 +0000 UTC]

lol

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Xirosh [2013-08-18 00:33:31 +0000 UTC]

Wait... then Tavros died how the hell does he come back and why is he evil? I don't get it.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

MegCurtis [2013-08-05 07:29:49 +0000 UTC]

I love how you said this was a nonfiction/biography. 

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

digigirl6 [2013-06-01 03:39:21 +0000 UTC]

hehe I love this xD I'm more of Gothic Lolita myself my bff LOVES angelic pretty she has like 3 bittersweet dresses. were in a huge group with a bunch of other Lolitas.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Infect1515 [2013-05-04 00:19:32 +0000 UTC]

This is a piece of shit, and so is the picture. He doesn't even have horns, and Tavros doesn't act like that.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

The-Britannia-Angel [2013-04-15 05:20:13 +0000 UTC]

Oh my gosh. I love you so much for writing this. This is so completely horrible and the character is so mary sue and they were so out of character that I was laughin my butt off the whole time.
I tip my hat to you, good troll-fic author. You have done well :3

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

eevee506 [2013-04-08 01:06:48 +0000 UTC]

hey, i made a reading for this on youtube, if you want me to take it down i will, i just wanted to get your permission, sorry if im not allowed to do that there is a disclaimer and a link to this page but mesage me if i need to take it down.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

ita-chan4ever In reply to eevee506 [2014-01-05 19:16:14 +0000 UTC]

I watched your Video! It was funny :3

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

feferisnecklaces [2013-03-26 10:33:43 +0000 UTC]

wut

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

BlackFurushima [2013-03-24 23:33:42 +0000 UTC]

Congratulations. Karkat read this and had no idea what the sweet swirling sundials was going on.
No, I'm serious. It's really hilarious. Look at it: ---> [link]

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

GamzeeMiraclesMakara [2013-03-11 07:28:13 +0000 UTC]

ShIt... wHaT dId I jUsT mOtHeR fUcKiN rEaD I AiNt NeVeR gOnNa Be AbLe To gEt ThAt oUtTa My tHiNk PaN wElL sHiT.... It CoUlD hAvE bEeN wOrSe :0 (

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Zuthesis [2013-02-03 02:50:56 +0000 UTC]

okay i have a lot of stuff to say about this, please dont get mad im only trying to be helpful ;A;
you keep changing from first person to third person and then back to first.
your putting your character at the top, like, making her a mary sue, or a 'perfect' character. and thus by making her perfect, you have made her imperfect. you see, no one likes a character who is so great at everything, it puts everyone else down, and makes them feel insignificant (i guess that would be a good word) and first you say tavros was dead, then suddenly he is bullying you, which is WAAAY out of character for him, and will earn you a lot of hate. then you go ahead and have Gamzee suddenly fall in love with you. that never happens in real life. it usually goes like - they meet, become friends, best friends, and then fall in love. love never happens so suddenly. it takes time to develop. and love usually blossoms between someone your really close to. someone you have plenty of stuff in common with. etc. etc. please try to make your story a little more realistic and it would get a lot better feedback <3

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Gamzeeswaifu In reply to Zuthesis [2013-04-01 17:43:59 +0000 UTC]

the point of this was to write the most awful yet believable fanfiction, since it was a troll. I can't believe people still fell for it so long after I left that account behind- Though you give great advice, and I'm sure it'd be helpful for those who do write fanfictions this way. Thanks for being patient and trying to help others!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

KoolBeansAreKool [2013-01-23 05:09:00 +0000 UTC]

And then Lord English arrived and killed the lolita-sue.
Happy end.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

drewdrewstar In reply to KoolBeansAreKool [2013-03-03 20:06:19 +0000 UTC]

Quite the happy end indeed

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

ita-chan4ever In reply to drewdrewstar [2014-01-05 19:17:38 +0000 UTC]

Many happy ends. Yes

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

NeroLuna [2012-12-05 01:32:38 +0000 UTC]

Tavros paused, finally finishing reading the fan-fiction, looking over at his best friend he quirked a brow. "uHH,,, wHAT DO YOU THINK?" Gamzee just looked at him, TaVros was ULITMATELY suprised with the look the indigo blood gave him, simply because he had never gotten that look from the other troll, and he was sopored off. "KiLl It.... WiTh FiRe..." Gamzee responded finally, covering his face with his hands, he sighed. "uHH ARE YOU SURE? tHIS IS,,, uHH PRETTY FUNNY-" "NaH BrO. tHaT ShIt Is HuRtInG mY MoThErFuCkInG hIvE mInD." "uHH,,, oKAY,,," THE END

👍: 0 ⏩: 2

CaramelSuprise In reply to NeroLuna [2014-07-23 17:32:23 +0000 UTC]

  i love you

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

102AnimeLover102 In reply to NeroLuna [2013-01-14 07:07:41 +0000 UTC]

If only there was a like button at deviant art...

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

gamzee-00-makara [2012-12-01 05:35:10 +0000 UTC]

oh my fucking god i hate you YOU DUMB MOTHERFUCKING BITCH i am going to kill you i fucking hate you STOP MAKING THIS stop saying i am your husband.

👍: 0 ⏩: 2

KittyKattyz In reply to gamzee-00-makara [2014-08-12 12:13:35 +0000 UTC]

How Cute~ :3

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Gamzeeswaifu In reply to gamzee-00-makara [2013-04-01 17:45:00 +0000 UTC]

Shh, no need to get so upset, try to look at the last two deviations posted on that account.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Gerere12 [2012-11-21 14:14:44 +0000 UTC]

im sorry but what the shit is this. as a tavros fan i think i should point out that tavros would NEVER DO THIS. tavros is ooc and your not gamzees; "Wifu" no one is. you think its awesome to be a pricky mary sue self insert and thats just not how homestuck is. its people like you that think your mary sue or self insert oc's are the best there ever fucking was. well news flash. your oc is a mary damn sue and is probably a self insert. im sorry about ranting like this but i feel the need that someone had to say this. so please dont make tavros anymore ooc then you already made him. tavros is shy, cant walk unless you count his legs that equius made him, tavros can be a shy, funny, nerdy troll that raps for fun sometimes. but hes not ANYTHING like you made him out to be. so please dont make tavros so ooc, and gamzee too, the two of them are friends. and gamzee would never do that to tavros. so please, for the fandoms sake. just stop.

👍: 0 ⏩: 2

Gamzeeswaifu In reply to Gerere12 [2013-04-01 17:46:06 +0000 UTC]

That was the point, pretty much?

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

DemitriaKais In reply to Gerere12 [2012-12-07 04:48:21 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for saying something! This is just not right. Tav and Gamz (my patron, so I'm protective of him) would never fight like this. Plus this whole thing is written from such a weeaboo's perspective! Actually, I think in the beginning, it said that the girl was proud she was a weeaboo. I'm all about self pride and shit, but that is nothing to be proud of. Im sure lots of us went through that stage but gosh, I remember it as a terrible existence. This is way over ooc, it's almost like she took the characters faces and slapped them on some fiction she wrote. You can't just do that! Stay true to the characters, and don't write like this. Also, at one point she said that all of the trolls like tavros were dead, then tavros appears and is suddenly alive again. I just... just...

Actually, I don't care! Why am I even reading this!?! I'm mad at myself for reading the entire thing!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Rainboww-Kittyy [2012-10-25 23:43:34 +0000 UTC]

TL;DR
A lolita weeaboo named Tsuki went out to the Faygo store and Tavros stole her ribbon and then Gamzee killed him and suddenly they loved each other.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Gamzeeswaifu In reply to Rainboww-Kittyy [2013-04-01 17:46:39 +0000 UTC]

Sadly I never had the time to write the worst smut fic ever.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0


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