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Gorghte — Haiku Spring Break '08
Published: 2008-03-01 21:40:46 +0000 UTC; Views: 1334; Favourites: 10; Downloads: 17
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Description March 18th

far away castles -
my princess dreams of
our future

March 17th

austere no longer
colors return
to the world

March 16th

spring fever
the heat of our passion
melts more than snow

March 15th

rain threatens
unable to dim
rainbows

March 14th

a break in the clouds
kindles the day,
matching my heart

March 13th

time dawdles
knowing I lust after
tomorrow

March 12th

wake in darkness
fighting inertia's pull
morning coffee

March 11th

amorous lovers
bound to each other
by more than rope?

March 11th

fog condensing
strangling
bad drivers

March 10th

next winter
avoid the weather
hibernate

March 9th

satisfaction
at a job well done
and a broken shovel

March 8th

What do I behold?
A fresh scent, sparkling counters
must be spring cleaning

March 7th

trapped -
cold blanket envelopes
everything

March 6th

Yawn!
a gaping mouth
empty

March 5th

crystal daggers
shatter upon impact
look out below!

March 4th

icy roads
hope of spring
slips away

March 3rd

melted snow -
new in ground pool
for my neighbor

March 2nd

bare trees
still at rest
broken clock?

March 1st

snow covered earth
reflects brilliant blue skies
lifts my spirit
Related content
Comments: 65

Gorghte In reply to ??? [2008-04-02 12:31:36 +0000 UTC]

Unfortunately for me it is. I'll try to build off this though and write some more in April.

I was sidetracked by a wonderful visit from my girlfriend and was never able to get back on track.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Jade-Pandora In reply to Gorghte [2008-04-04 18:37:05 +0000 UTC]

Oh yes please do write more this month - but real life and a visit from the g/f definately takes precident over most every other thing!

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HaikuKitty [2008-03-25 19:36:32 +0000 UTC]

"far away castles -
my princess dreams of
our future"

Excellent! I was guilty of doing that when I was young.

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Gorghte In reply to HaikuKitty [2008-03-26 01:31:35 +0000 UTC]

Nice, but we're in our Mid to Late 30s

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somnomollior [2008-03-22 12:58:34 +0000 UTC]

Are you having the torrential rain that I see on the news is plaguing The States at the moment? We have been having snow, freezing rain and rain!

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Gorghte In reply to somnomollior [2008-03-22 23:50:16 +0000 UTC]

Wasn't too bad, just a heavy drizzle.

Ouch. We got a couple inches last night but I think we are about down (hopefully!)

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Amy--Louise [2008-03-21 15:04:03 +0000 UTC]

I love the personification of clouds and time in 13 and 14 and the war with waking on the 12th -familiar. I got behind a bit too

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Gorghte In reply to Amy--Louise [2008-03-21 19:54:03 +0000 UTC]

Thank you. I was having a bit too much fun to get on the computer so I need to find time to update.

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moyanII [2008-03-19 02:46:10 +0000 UTC]

day 7
good excuse to stay in bed.

day 9
last line brings it home. i like how you convey the amount of hard work put in using a simple, vivid image of a broken shovel.

now, please update.

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Gorghte In reply to moyanII [2008-03-20 13:32:27 +0000 UTC]



Thank you.

I'll try, I had a visitor and was otherwise occupied

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moyanII In reply to Gorghte [2008-04-19 01:56:44 +0000 UTC]

oh no man, you stopped half-way!

you have quite a collection here. joining in may's daily haiku-writing event again?

let's encourage each other with your day 15's haiku~

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Gorghte In reply to moyanII [2008-04-21 00:17:54 +0000 UTC]

Yep. Ended up being unable to keep up.

I'll see, but depends on if some things clear up by then. Otherwise, will be too preoccupied to write well.

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moyanII In reply to Gorghte [2008-04-21 00:21:35 +0000 UTC]

i heard that it has been rescheduled to july.

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Gorghte In reply to moyanII [2008-04-24 02:45:38 +0000 UTC]

That might work

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somnomollior [2008-03-13 22:33:30 +0000 UTC]

Any particular reason you are lusting for tomorrow?
I like your new additions very much.
This is a drive-by commenting! I haven't had much time to be on the computer. I have either been out or my daughter has been hogging it.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Gorghte In reply to somnomollior [2008-03-13 23:31:09 +0000 UTC]

@ daughter. Kids tend to do that.

My girlfriend is coming to visit tomorrow, so yes there is a particular reason.

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SOLARTS [2008-03-11 22:47:05 +0000 UTC]

some nice work here.

suggestions:

11) why "bad" drivers?? fog is dangerous to all drivers. we think the poem could read "fog condensing / strangling / drivers."

10) Why "all" the weather, when "the weather" is "all the weather." Perhaps "all" is unnessesary? It could read "next winter / avoid the weather / hibernate."

Just some thoughts. Hope you are enjoying the bash - we certainly are!!!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Gorghte In reply to SOLARTS [2008-03-12 03:07:28 +0000 UTC]

Thank you, first for reading, and 2nd for the nice critique.

Bad Drivers are the ones I want to strangle.

Good point, the all is redundant.

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SOLARTS In reply to Gorghte [2008-03-12 04:55:18 +0000 UTC]



some very nice expressions!

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Amy--Louise [2008-03-11 19:39:28 +0000 UTC]

The 10th sounds good to me !! and so does the 11th - they make it so much more difficult! Why the heck don't they put their lights on??!! Grr >.<

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Gorghte In reply to Amy--Louise [2008-03-12 03:05:51 +0000 UTC]

Thank you.

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somnomollior [2008-03-10 12:18:05 +0000 UTC]

I really like your original March 4th!
We still seem to be sharing weather. We had snow this morning. We missed the worst of those US and mainland Canada blizzards however. We have had our turn for many years past.

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Gorghte In reply to somnomollior [2008-03-10 12:40:18 +0000 UTC]

Glad to here you didn't get the mess we had. Spent a lot of yesterday shoveling my driveway so I could go get groceries.

Thank you. I think either one works well, the original may have been a bit difficult to picture.

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somnomollior In reply to Gorghte [2008-03-10 12:56:20 +0000 UTC]

I think slippery is a very evocative word. It's also a bit onomatapeic (I hope I got that right!).

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Gorghte In reply to somnomollior [2008-03-11 12:49:48 +0000 UTC]

That is a good point.

And I got to learn something, as I had to look up onomatopoeic.

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somnomollior In reply to Gorghte [2008-03-11 16:37:47 +0000 UTC]

I hope I remembered the meaning correctly!

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Bogbrush [2008-03-09 19:55:04 +0000 UTC]

I had to smile at the seventh, you could quite easily change the word cold to warm with the same effect

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Gorghte In reply to Bogbrush [2008-03-10 01:43:18 +0000 UTC]

True.

Though snow is seldom warm Being snowed in isn't all that fun when your alone.

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Bogbrush In reply to Gorghte [2008-03-12 18:12:54 +0000 UTC]

I can image, we don't get enough snow here to get snowed in to find out though.

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HaikuKitty [2008-03-06 19:48:36 +0000 UTC]

We have some huge icicles hanging from the eaves of our garage - I eyeball them very carefully when I walk by.

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Gorghte In reply to HaikuKitty [2008-03-07 04:19:24 +0000 UTC]

Good choice, mine are all shattered all over the ground around my house and garage.

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livingtoxic [2008-03-05 04:18:04 +0000 UTC]

4th March reads like a run-on sentence.

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Gorghte In reply to livingtoxic [2008-03-05 04:36:51 +0000 UTC]

hmm. Maybe I tried to hard to avoid mentioning the ice storm we had today.

How about

icy roads
hope of spring
slips away

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livingtoxic In reply to Gorghte [2008-03-09 00:24:47 +0000 UTC]



it's kinda sad now though.

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Gorghte In reply to livingtoxic [2008-03-09 01:37:35 +0000 UTC]

It was sad, going from 60s one day to ice storm the next.

Today, the snow just won't stop!

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Amy--Louise In reply to Gorghte [2008-03-05 15:51:35 +0000 UTC]

The rewrite is a beauty, Brian.

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Gorghte In reply to Amy--Louise [2008-03-05 18:43:56 +0000 UTC]

Thank you.

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Amy--Louise [2008-03-04 18:52:23 +0000 UTC]

1- The blue in the snow makes you look up- double meaning, cool
You folks are having Spring and I still have winter. Nice beginning- can't wait to see more!

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Gorghte In reply to Amy--Louise [2008-03-05 02:54:17 +0000 UTC]

Um, I wish we were having spring. 1 day does not a spring make. And the weather punished us for it today.

Freezing rain, ugh. Chipped Ice off my car before I could drive home from work.

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Amy--Louise In reply to Gorghte [2008-03-05 15:53:25 +0000 UTC]

Thursday morning it is supposed to be 17 below zero here. This winter has been a total bitch and she won't go away. . . I hear ya

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Gorghte In reply to Amy--Louise [2008-03-05 18:44:43 +0000 UTC]

Ouch. Time to stay in, build a fire and snuggle up!

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HaikuKitty [2008-03-03 14:54:21 +0000 UTC]

I am going to go out and check to see if the tree clocks are set right. I am very impatient. Sleet and snow are falling right now.

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somnomollior [2008-03-03 12:09:19 +0000 UTC]

They both capture aspects of winter that I can relate to up here in the frozen north.

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Gorghte In reply to somnomollior [2008-03-03 13:08:53 +0000 UTC]

Transition months like March are so interesting. You can see glimpses of what is to come, but are always reminded of what is here.

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somnomollior In reply to Gorghte [2008-03-03 13:18:38 +0000 UTC]

We are in transition. One day it's nice and the next is nasty. Today is pretty nasty since rain and snow we had yesterday is now frozen slush today and very slippery.

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Gorghte In reply to somnomollior [2008-03-03 20:12:55 +0000 UTC]

60s here today. Snow all melting.

However, rain turning to snow over night with tomorrow near freezing again, just so we don't forget

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livingtoxic [2008-03-03 00:05:13 +0000 UTC]

2.3.08

I like how the poem ends with a question.

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Gorghte In reply to livingtoxic [2008-03-03 03:03:58 +0000 UTC]

Thank you. I'm not sure it came across like I wanted, but should at least make people think.

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livingtoxic In reply to Gorghte [2008-03-03 11:56:59 +0000 UTC]

That's the beauty of haiku--making people think. Readers interaction with the haiku and come up with their own interpretations and see the beauty of the "thingness" of things.

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SOLARTS In reply to livingtoxic [2008-03-05 03:57:57 +0000 UTC]

ah, so true. and wonderfully put.

In Japanese a single phrase is used to express this: "mono no aware."

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