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Published: 2008-03-02 06:45:49 +0000 UTC; Views: 1998; Favourites: 17; Downloads: 13
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Description
My poems will be in the artists comments, for some strange reason - DA will not let me edit the text - so all 31 days will be in this deviation until I can get it figured out! Dang DA sprites....Related content
Comments: 131
moyanII [2008-04-18 15:12:40 +0000 UTC]
time to edit your haiku-containing description, your mudkips avatars are still lingering there from april 1st till now.
your last few submissions are rather un-haiku. they do not really form concrete images that encourage readers to tell their own stories. but still they are interesting ideas, i would say.
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HaikuKitty In reply to moyanII [2008-04-18 16:31:21 +0000 UTC]
You are right, the last few were getting hard for me - inspiration wise! The thing about writing everyday is, some of them just plain old outright suck - and you put them up anyway in hopes of it passing - just cuz you agreed to write everyday, and by gosh - that is just what you do!
Now I am struggling with writing tanka daily- I do not think I like it as much as haiku - I am uncertain about how to know if it REALLY is tanka and not just some concise short poetry.
Do you like tanka?
Dang da mudkips!
(I enjoyed the joke.)
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moyanII In reply to HaikuKitty [2008-04-19 01:45:49 +0000 UTC]
not really into tanka. haiku is already my two handfuls (and painting is another 3 handfuls).
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Ratafluke [2008-04-04 20:17:55 +0000 UTC]
Unfortunately my muse left me before the 31st rolled around
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chugglepuff [2008-04-04 19:54:13 +0000 UTC]
Wow, some great experiments there towards the end! 28 is so lovely, it makes me feel really peaceful. Congratulations on finishing!
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livingtoxic [2008-04-02 08:33:40 +0000 UTC]
Grats! It's over!
28
dear moon,
what will you see -
a thousand years
after me?
--my fav of this series
24--keepsakes and sentiments. another fav.
21
cold moon!
crows huddle
in snow below.
--love this, but I would suggest a replacement of 'crows' with 'the homeless'.
19--rumble
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HaikuKitty In reply to livingtoxic [2008-04-03 04:46:34 +0000 UTC]
I am taking your advice and changing crows to "the homeless" I do think I was a bit vague in my portraying of the homeless.
Thank you!
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YumeAkuma [2008-03-31 23:01:20 +0000 UTC]
hidden away,
an empty bottle
of his cologne. so sad and sweet. everything makes me cry these days.
Wonderful job, still one more to go so I'll have to remember to check back for it. I like the one you did for 30th, it's really unique, i can't wait to see it in it's final form
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HaikuKitty In reply to YumeAkuma [2008-04-03 04:47:35 +0000 UTC]
I think it very sweet that she hangs on to it, too. I think of the passion one can remember with a smell of the cologne and her thoughts of younger days. Thank you for the nice comment.
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Bogbrush [2008-03-31 21:12:47 +0000 UTC]
A lovely selection, but I really love the muddy footprints of spring and the thousand year moon
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HaikuKitty In reply to Bogbrush [2008-04-03 04:48:19 +0000 UTC]
Those are two of my favorites of what I had done this time, too.
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Formel [2008-03-31 13:28:24 +0000 UTC]
29 this is genious, really good especially the picture poem format
you will be surprized, I have a Pigeon haiku too, but it is very different
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HaikuKitty In reply to Formel [2008-04-03 04:50:19 +0000 UTC]
Your pigeon haiku is great! I will be back to comment more in dpeth when I have time. We upped our work schedule hours, again.
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Formel In reply to HaikuKitty [2008-04-03 08:00:34 +0000 UTC]
alright, I am looking forward to some criticism
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chugglepuff [2008-03-27 23:16:54 +0000 UTC]
24 is so touching, and 27 is wonderful too (the Spanish seems fine to me ), it's a gorgeous image, it felt to me like the moon is mourning.
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HaikuKitty In reply to chugglepuff [2008-03-28 15:58:59 +0000 UTC]
The moon in mourning - I really like that....
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Formel [2008-03-27 11:55:40 +0000 UTC]
20 it's so difficult to imagine the light doing this, but it really works
21 I also want to write a moon haiku, but it just doesn't want to come out right, your is perfect adn has a nice message
23 I have similar feelings
24 this is full of emotions, very powerful, I love this one
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HaikuKitty In reply to Formel [2008-03-28 15:59:39 +0000 UTC]
I keep staring at the moon, and I know that everyone has written everything we could ever dream of about it - but I feel inspired anyway.
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Ratafluke [2008-03-25 10:04:59 +0000 UTC]
Why empty? Does that still smell? Or maybe it's so old that all of it had dried and evaporated?
Poignant poem!
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HaikuKitty In reply to Ratafluke [2008-03-25 16:32:08 +0000 UTC]
It is what it is.
I actually found this the other day and it hit me. The beauty of her holding on to it. The sadness of the bottle sitting alone in a dark cupboard. The knowing that she knows it's there. (and yes, it still smells.)
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Ratafluke In reply to HaikuKitty [2008-04-04 20:29:53 +0000 UTC]
The bottle in the dark cupboard doesn't feel so sad to me, but it evokes sad memories of grief. Smells are so powerful when it comes to evoking memories...
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RedDragonfly [2008-03-24 13:33:19 +0000 UTC]
It snows on Easter almost every year here in Colorado...
I really love 17, 5 and 3 so far...
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HaikuKitty In reply to RedDragonfly [2008-03-25 04:44:28 +0000 UTC]
I think Easter is a tad early this year. It is difficult for me to reconcile pastel eggs, bunnies, baby chicks and rebirth with the snow.
Thank you for the fav and the comments. I have learned much by observing the way you write haiku. Thank you for that!
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RedDragonfly In reply to HaikuKitty [2008-03-25 13:45:41 +0000 UTC]
Thanks, it's so nice to know that people still read haiku!
Even when I feel I don't have the time to write them... sigh.
I'll be back soon, I swear it!
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SOLARTS [2008-03-24 01:21:09 +0000 UTC]
20, 21 and 22 are great!!!!
really enjoying this series.
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HaikuKitty In reply to SOLARTS [2008-03-24 15:03:15 +0000 UTC]
Going with simple. It is tough for chatty me to do!
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chugglepuff [2008-03-23 17:31:16 +0000 UTC]
23 - I know, it's really confusing. It feels more like Christmas than Christmas did.
This made me smile. And thank you for making my evil bunny feel included, I am honoured!
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HaikuKitty In reply to chugglepuff [2008-03-23 22:31:53 +0000 UTC]
evil bunny just had to go there.
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b1gfan [2008-03-22 05:56:51 +0000 UTC]
WOW, 20 and 21 are stunning - they expand the image they present to suggest so much. Powerful sensory imagery makes them more than what they say - perfect haiku.
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SOLARTS In reply to b1gfan [2008-03-24 01:22:11 +0000 UTC]
totally agree!!!!
they are perfect haiku.
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HaikuKitty In reply to b1gfan [2008-03-23 21:31:40 +0000 UTC]
I am trying so hard this time around. I have so much to learn.
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b1gfan In reply to HaikuKitty [2008-03-23 22:00:46 +0000 UTC]
We can all say the same ^_^
Good stuff though...good stuff.
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SOLARTS In reply to b1gfan [2008-03-25 11:16:04 +0000 UTC]
its been taking up hours of each of our days. its what we do all evening...
its an obsession..
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chugglepuff [2008-03-21 22:32:31 +0000 UTC]
14, 17 and 21 are wonderful. Fantastic, subtle personification in 14 and 17, and I love the comparison between crows and homeless people, although I don't think I'd have got the other meaning without your notes. The contrast between the white of the snow and black of the crows goes so well with the contrast between the grandeur of the White House and poverty of the vagrants, and the close proximity of the two. (sorry if I'm not making sense) You're doing so well with these!
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HaikuKitty In reply to chugglepuff [2008-03-22 02:51:22 +0000 UTC]
It makes perfect sense.
Thank you for your kind comments, I am happy that I am learning. :woot:
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SOLARTS [2008-03-21 21:23:48 +0000 UTC]
wow -
17 and 21 are excellent!!!
looking forward to the comp.
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Ratafluke [2008-03-20 12:30:39 +0000 UTC]
mountains and sky
at rest on the water,
I put my camera away.
Hehe, I do that all the time, capturing in words, when I can't capture it with my camera
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HaikuKitty In reply to Ratafluke [2008-03-21 05:26:22 +0000 UTC]
Yes, just what I did - grabbed a pen. I have put my camera away, and now I am trying to describe with words. I love this game.
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Ratafluke In reply to HaikuKitty [2008-03-24 07:05:09 +0000 UTC]
light touches
inside
open vases.
Love this one, speaks to me more than the first version a couple of days ago Such ambiguity, especially in the first line. Gives me an impression of gentle touching, as well as light creating an abstract pattern. Love to photograph such sights!
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HaikuKitty In reply to Ratafluke [2008-03-25 16:50:37 +0000 UTC]
The vases are sitting inside a curving stairway in our museum, the higher you climb the more the light from the windows transforms them. If you stand on the right step, the sun shines inside the tallest one, illuminating the bottom, the bottom only - the walls of the vase are a deep, blood red.) The museum has a strict "no tripods allowed rule." I would like to photograph it for HDR. It would be an amazing photo. I settled for a haiku of the moment instead. I owe moyanii big time for the word "touches" it made the haiku.
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Ratafluke In reply to HaikuKitty [2008-04-04 20:35:07 +0000 UTC]
Can your camera capture RAW images? 'cos then you can develop several JPG's from the RAW file and make a HDR. Or maybe use some wall or railing for support, and do the actual cropping and composition in the graphic program...?
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HaikuKitty In reply to Ratafluke [2008-04-05 04:37:46 +0000 UTC]
Hey, that is a good idea.... The museum has a contest open for photographers that I usually enter, I bet they would be fascinated to see what I saw in their vase.... Hmmm.....
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moyanII [2008-03-20 10:07:25 +0000 UTC]
day 20
zen enough to rouse philosophical pondering. excellent one. you succeed in bringing simple object into the limelight and derives some hidden meanings. though, light is being described as 'knowing' is too personified.
day 19
again, 'dream' is too apparent. i suggest:
spring-
snow dashed
plow rumbles by
leave the reader to 'dream' or 'hope' or ponder their own implication of the plow and dashed snow.
day 13 and 15
just nice as haiku. they tells only the scenery and leave the reader to come up with their own feelings about the scenario. well done!
you have definitely polished up your skill in haiku compared to the last round. now your work is now concise and to-the-point.
look forward to more!
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