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hereticschizoid —
The Official Ode to the Forums
Published: 2004-10-04 11:57:21 +0000 UTC; Views: 13503; Favourites: 163; Downloads: 5294
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Description
I can't stand to see another thread,beating a horse that's already dead.
Do you like "s3ks" and what does art mean?
A poorhorse cult for illiterate teens.
The forum descriptions must be Greek,
or maybe the newbies only read 1337.
The Welcome Center to get a tour.
Thumbshare Forum for commentwhores.
'Deviator' no longer exists
(The Forum's still there 'cause jark insists)
Don't post there- it's useless you know
Read the thread that tells you so.
Elite ForumWhores: they're better than you.
Accept it now you know it's true;
If you see a lot of the Blank Stare guy
stupidity is the reason why.
For those with a brain that can't be found
watch out for curran if he's around.
With legendary wit and sarcastic replies
he cleans up the forums (or at least he tries).
We interupt this poem to distinguish
that "kewl" and "k@wa1i!!1!1" are not English.
If those are in your vocabulary
please buy yourself a dictionary.
Do you think you are a squirrel
instead of a normal boy or girl?
Do you have a tail and a buck-toothed snout?
please... just... get out.
"The reply button is your friend"
We hear this phrase time and again.
I think the problem could be solved
If we made the reply button 5 inches tall with neon orange blinking text outlined in fluorescent purple twinkling polka dots underlined 3 times with magenta squiggly lines all next to an advertisement for free beer.
...
'Course I'll take this to the Suggestions Forum
and soon you'll see a change in decorum;
but you'll be sure to get all your replies
unless the person has a seizure and dies.
On a brighter note, we've now got
an official poem for us forum lot.
So close your eyes and bow your head
...and think up an actually interesting thread.
Related content
Comments: 399
*Laughs* This is wonderful! It brngs a tear to my eye to see this rhyme scheme used properly (honestly, why do people write angsty/emotional poetry in rhyming couplets? ) Your rhythm is very consistent throughout, and you've used it very effectively to heavily emphasise "please... just... get out." However, it is very tempting to break it and slip five beats into "If you see a lot of the Blank Stare guy" to stress both Blank and Stare... Was this your intention?
I love your break from the structure with that last line of the eighth stanza, and you hae portrayed very effectively your frustration by doing this, and by the absence of punctuation through this line. Trying to read it aloud at the speed this implies is rather amusing, and for this reason I thank you for following it with a pause, allowing the reader to compose themself, and returned to the sweetness of the next stanza. Again, an amusing effect.
My reaction to the last two lines of the ninth stanza was quite simply, "eh?" It seems... random. (Thought I loathe to use the word...)
Aaaand, a great ending.
Congratulations of the DD - well-deserved.
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Thanks for the critique 
Anyway thanks again and I'm glad you liked it
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I see, I see...
*goes and reads*
Yeah, I can see you've smoothed out all those things in the new ode. I still don't get the seizure thing, (-.-;;
However, ( *whinge whinge* ) I have to say that the lines "Do you have a tail and buck-toothed snout? / Please... just... get out" amused me more in its sense of almost revulsion than the replacement "Prehensile thumbs are something you lack? / Please leave the forums and never come back." ... And I really liked the old ending. T^T ( 
Both are excellent. Well done.
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I think I had weird wording with 'still is around' because when I read it to myself it sounded weird the other way. Like I was stressing the wrong syllables. And I thought that might carry over 
And I changed the ending and the last line of that anime furries stanza because I thought they sounded too forced. I'm glad to see people didn't think they were too bad though
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Brilliant
Congratulation on the DD
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This poem is just wonderful! Thank you for including the bit about the reply button.
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Thank YOU for reading it and liking it 
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three o'clock in the morning, huh? thats pretty LATE...
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Yeah I seem to write my best poetry when it's late at night and there's nothing to distract me and nothing else to think about
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ooh...cool, but just to let you know, l337 does not rhyme with Greek
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It's poetic license. It's close enough.
thanks for the comment
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yeah, I guess so...it's a really cool poem, it's so true! A friend of mine almost left DA because forum whores kept telling her off, hope she reads your poem, she'd laugh her head off!
You're welcome! ^_^
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Hahahaha. My favorite had to be the "seizure" part regarding the new reply button.
I also have a feeling there's an internal standing ovation every time someone reads that last line.
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thanks for the comment 
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Omg...hilarious, witty, loving the suggestion for the reply button. Awesome..lol.
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Classic. 
Thing is, most of those reasons for not going in the forums are also good reasons to lurk in it. It can all be incredibly funny if you don't actually get involved in anything. Lurking tends to turn everything into Internet equivalents of either reality TV or sitcoms.
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I know what you mean
Thanks for the comment
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This made me laugh!
And congrats on being the first deviant I watch to have a Daily Deviation! 
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You've managed to hit on most of my reasons for not visiting the forums too often. This is a funny poem, and on top of that, you managed to make everything rhyme- that's something I've found quite difficult.
I think the stanza I like best is the one about the squirrels.
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I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my life. I love it when you point out how people have butchered the english language.
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this is hillarious! I love it. Too true.
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LOL speaking of hilarious, your signature rocks
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he, thanks. It's a family guy quote. Family guy rocks.
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very funny. i too liked the reply button line...
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That definitely seems to be the favorite
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Oh, you're a genius. What a fantastic poem.
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