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HetaliaENGTranscript — Hetalia English Dub Transcript: Episode 9
Published: 2014-01-20 03:38:27 +0000 UTC; Views: 7388; Favourites: 18; Downloads: 0
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America: Ok! So, like I’ve designed a really sweet attack plan, which I’m calling Attack Plan Alpha, like alpha dog. Woof! I think it makes use of our strengths in the best way possible. Britain goes in suicidal! It’s your Charge of the Light Brigade routine!England: Huh?
America: France gives up without a struggle!
France: Huh?
America: And for Russia, just keep sending us your cannon fodder! You’ll draw the guns away! From me!
Russia: Hold on. Question. What are you going to be doing, America?
[England – Back me up
France – Back me up
Russia – Back me up]
America: Good question! I’ll do what I always do best! And that means: I’m the hero!!
(Opening)
England: No thanks. I’ll not be part of another of your halfwit schemes.
America: Why do you hate me? Are you still pissed off about that whole Revolutionary War thing?
England: Since you’re illiterate and not our leader, mostly my mind wonders why you’re speaking. Like recalling how we burnt your capital to the ground in 1814.
America: Ah…!!
England: Sometimes I picture you as the diabetic fat person you’ll likely be in a few more years on your strictly hamburger diet!
America: Ah…!!!!
Since we’re all sharing our feelings… those pastries you served me when I visited your house the other day?
[Scones]
America: They tasted like petrified couch stuffing!
England: Those scones were a recipe passed down by my mumsie!
Russia: Hehe!
America: Those were supposed to be scones? (or something like that. He’s choking so he’s not speaking clearly)
[Those things (Scones)]
[This is how the meeting of the Allies begins.]
America: Hetalia!
France: When you two are done releasing sexual tension! We have got a meeting we need to finish!
(England and America: Fighting I can’t understand)
America: Huh?
England: That’s weird! France actually made a rational point!
America: Uh… sorry, that was childish and things got out of hand.
England: That’s no fair! It’s my job to be mature!
France: Seriously, you two. We have more important things to worry about before settling on our world plans! Like what to do about those tacky military clothes!
[Tacky] [Tacky]
America and England: This is war!! And you’re wearing a cape!!!
France: It’s a cloak! Non?
[Super showy: It is said that he was so showy that he was easily spotted by enemies and kept getting knocked around.]
[Bright blue] [Bright red]
(France: Oh honhonhonhon…honhon…honhonhon…)
France: Hetalia!
England: Pipe down! Your country once surrendered to a boy scout troop on holiday!
[Weak]
France: That was years ago!
China: 身体好吗? (Shēntǐ hǎo ma?) Oh great, Britain, France, and America are fighting again over nothing! Why can’t you just dominate your people with a totalitarian government, really…
[Subject 2: If we win, what will we do with their lands?]
China: Here, let me show you how things are decided using ancient Chinese fashion.
Seems simple enough! China take all. You can go home now.
England: I don’t think so!!! What gives you the right to take all the land for yourself!?
China: Because I’m the oldest!
France: This is worse than trying to manage a bunch of Italians…!
China: Hetalia!
France: Just wait! I think we should all sit down and rework the plan.
[Let’s calm down a little.]
England: I hate to say it, but he’s right…
China: And he smells.
America: You guys don’t like my plan…?
England: It’s more YOU, personally.
[Kraut Wop Japan
England Russia
France China]
England: If we divide them based on geography, we get this.
America: Somebody forgot to include Mr. America!
England: Ugh… fine, you can have Japan. That way you’ll at least be staying out of Europe.
America: Old Japan! Let’s find out where that is!
[America’s world map!]
America: Um…
[America] [America] [America]
America: It’s not on the map!
England, France, Russia, and China: Typical American…
[That’s Americans for you.]
Narrator: Chibitalia.
HRE: Hey… Italy… um… will you… teach me how to draw, please?
Chibitalia: Of course I will! But I didn’t know that you like to draw!
HRE: Poop! My rabbit look-a like junk!
Chibitalia: No, it’s good! Which part don’t you like? Ah…! The leg!
Like this!
HRE: Ah..!
I’m going home now!
Chibitalia: Uh…
(Marukaite Chikyuu: Italy)
France: Hey Russia! You smiled a lot during that meeting even though it was just yelling. How do you stay so calm?
Russia: That? It’s easy! I like to listen to all the loud noises you make together! I grew up very different! My home is very large and very cold and people hate each other quietly. So noisy foolishness is fun to me! My only friend growing up was a yak!
France: That’s right… your emotions were buried by soul crushing weather and a totalitarian state.
Russia: Fuu… but soon I might probably get to say goodbye to everyone…
France: Ah…?!
Russia: It make me pleasure smile to think how they will all be destroyed by my overwhelming power.
France: Ahhh….!!!!
[To be continued]
Translation
• Charge of the Light Brigade: As part of the Crimean War, a war between France/Ottoman Empire/UK/Sardinia (now part of Romano) and Russia, Lord Cardigan of Britain sent a charge of light cavalry during the Battle of Balaclava. There was a miscommunication that lead to the cavalry group attacking the wrong battery. They lost. A poem titled “Charge of the Light Brigade” was later written by a poet named, get this, Alfred. Alfred, Lord Tennyson to be exact.
• France gives up without a struggle: France had a big plan ready with the Maginot Line, a wall along the border between France and Germany, to keep Germany away. Germany went into Belgium and walked around the wall. Being totally unprepared for this (in his defense, Belgium, Luxembourg, and the Netherlands were all neutral at the time, so Germany shouldn’t have been able to do that at all), France surrendered quickly to protect his citizens. Or at least that’s my interpretation of his reasons. Denmark did that too, though. He surrendered on the first day.
• We burnt your capital to the ground in 1814: During the War of 1812, America went to York, Canada, and burnt down the British Parliament building there. Naturally, Iggy was pissed. America wasn’t the smartest cookie in this war (Hey! You know what’ll be easy! Let’s take over Canada! And hey! Let’s move all our defenses to Baltimore and leave our capital virtually unguarded!), so Iggy easily got into DC and exacted his revenge by burning down every government building in the city. That is, until a hurricane with tornadoes came out of nowhere and killed more British than DC’s defense (battle of Bladensburg) managed to.
• France and the boy scouts: It seems to be a joke about an "event" that take place in 2011, where, due to an unfortunate series of events, including near-sighted airport guards with dead phones, misinformation, and vineyard brawls between groups dressed in military clothes, France surrenders to a bunch of boy scouts. In the joke, he does this because he fears he'll be late for lunch.
• 身体好吗? (Shēntǐ hǎo ma?): Are you alright? (Mandarin) I imagine he entered the room to hear all the fighting and assumed something was wrong. But somewhere else I read that this is more of what you’d use in relation to one’s health.)
• America doesn’t know where old Japan is: I can vouch that until I was in eighth grade, I had no clue that Lithuania existed… I thought Switzerland was in Scandinavia, and until I was twelve, I thought the Soviet Union still existed. But the reason we suck at the world, especially at a young age, is because we dedicate five years of school to a mere 300 years of American history (where it seems that once the Civil War ends, the only thing left to do is mention how the Pilgrims came and start all over again, at least until high school). This leaves us with one year for ancient history, and two years for everywhere, in which we waste time learning the same information about China and Japan twice. America’s history system is not the best. Hell, where I live, you have to take an AP course if you want to go deep into European history! I also like to imagine that America heard “Tappan” instead of “Japan,” which is why he said “Old Japan” (Old Tappan is a Borough in New Jersey, and what seems to my hometown’s longstanding high school sports rival.)
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Russia: "It make me pleasure smile to think how they will all be destroyed by my overwhelming power."
Oh, how quickly we turn to creepy.
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Nothing. O_O
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