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Description
(Cheering)

Austrian Man: Long live the Archduchess of Austria!

Austrian Crowd: Long live the queen! Long live the Archduchess of Austria! Long live the queen! Long live the Archduchess of Austria!

(Opening, a special one this time)

[Maria Theresa]

Maria Theresa: From this day forward, you shall address me as “Your Royal Highness” or “Majesty.”

Austria: Ja, swell. Ah…!
(Gilbird: Meep! Meep! (peeps from hell))

Gilbird: Nyep! Nyep nyep! Niyo! Nyep… nwep! (This thing is a demon)

Austria: Nn.

Gilbird: nyep NYEP.

Maria Theresa: Is it un belated congratulations for me?

Austria: Hn… it’s from Prussia, but I’m not sure I’d call it a happy note!

Prussia’s voice: Hello little girl, I am Prussia and you are not! My awesomeness is exploding at an alarming rate, even for someone as awesome as the great Prussia!

[Prussia]

[Inauguration as Queen]

Prussia’s voice: Anyway, super happy, la la, to you and your inauguration, but I’m afraid we consider it no more than dried squirrel poop.

[However]
[We do not accept it.]

Prussia’s voice: Perhaps we’ll leave you alone if you give us Austria’s Silesia region. It’s pronounced “sai-lee-zhi-a”, right? Otherwise, we’ll attack you with awesomeness und laugh mightily as we destroy you!

[Attack]

Prussia’s voice: From Prussia with love.

[Love]

Prussia’s voice: P.S. I’m awesome!

[“Hello. This is Prussia. I’m getting more and more powerful, so powerful that I’m even more powerful than you are now. Congratulations on your inauguration as queen. However, we do not accept it. We’re willing to accept it, though, if you give us Austria’s Silesia region. Oh, and, if you refuse, we are ready to attack you. From Prussia, with love.”]

(The whole time Gilbird is chirping like he has bronchitis someone help this creature)

Narrator: In 1740, Maria Theresa was inaugurated as the Archduchess of Austria and Queen of Hungary. However, since she was the first archduchess of the House of Habsburg—in other words, a girl—big studly Prussia, who was also part of the Holy Roman Empire, thought chicks couldn’t lead. Such is the way of the H.R.E. To catch you up, the Holy Roman Empire was like a country made up of smaller little countries led by Austria. When Austria started getting weak, Prussia decided to make a move. “Hey, you got chick for queen so I’m going to force you gimme some of your land and maybe stick your head up your own butt! I’m awesome!” By the way, Italy was under the rule of Austria-Hungary at this time and it would be 100 years before unification. Now, to translate all that for the Americans, stuff happened in other countries that didn’t involve explosions or kicking ass.

[In 1740, Maria Theresa was inaugurated as the Archduchess of Austria and Queen of Hungary. However, since she was the first archduchess of the House of Habsburg, there was strong opposition and Prussia, who was also part of the Holy Roman Empire, found a fault with it. Although the Holy Roman Empire was large as a country, it was more like a group of small countries with Austria more or less being the leader. However, when Austria started losing its power, Prussia, also part of the Holy Roman Empire, said, “Your new boss is a woman, so please give us some land,” and invaded Austria. By the way, Italy was under the rule of Austria-Hungary around that time, and they had to wait for over 100 years before its unification.]

Chibitalia: Noooooo!!

Austria: My manly tract of land has been occupied by that demon douche, Prussia! We’ll gather soldiers and go take it back immediately!

Maria Theresa: Oh! Do you have to be… so vulgar?

Questioning Austrian Government Dude: Uhh, excuse me, please. You do realize that we are having a concert in march? Will this fighting of yours interrupt it?

Austrian Government Dude That Looks Like a Disney Dad: I refuse to live without the camaraderie of the choir!

Very Threatened Austrian Government Dude: If you try to take my piano, I will scratch out your eyes!

Austrian Government Dude Who’s Sick of it All: Damn straight. Und Haydn comes with, or I quit.

Another Austrian Government Dude: If we can’t bring the orchestra with us, I won’t go.

Austrian Government: Music! Music! We’ll make music! Not your war!

Austria: I can’t argue with that. You guys win.
(Austrian Government: Music! Music! Music! Music! Music! We’ll make music! Not your war!)

Maria Theresa: Please don’t turn into a pussy! Go to war!

Austria: Hetalia!

[And so, they somehow managed to go to war.]

Prussian Soldier: Everyone, start freaking out; Prussia’s here!

Prussia: Suck it, losers! That queen wants to fight no matter what, huh? Austria will have to be content at being my snack before my world domination meal. This so-called “army” that Austria has put together would make my grandmother laugh like this! “Yaa ha ha ha!” You’ve grown soft, und now is the time for Prussia to RISE LIKE A MAGIC JACK-IN-THE-BOX WARRIOR DEMON! Look at my soldiers und their mean faces! I taught them that face! I can’t wait to see you weep like a little baby girl-man-boy. Ehehehehe!

[Chaos]
[To put it simply, Europe at the time was in chaos.]

[France] [Prussia] [Spain] vs
[Austria] [England] [Netherlands]
[They’re in a fist fight somewhere else, too] (referring to France and England)

Narrator: In order to crush Austria, Prussia had to get France and Spain to go along with him. And also other countries nobody has ever heard of, like Saxony and Bayern, and Pittsburgh, which is a city in America so I don’t know why I just said that. Also, we’ve got the Netherlands up there, (whisper) but I’m not sure why.
With all these countries together, they had a Crush Austria Team! On the other side, the only one supporting Austria was Britain, who was used to bad odds—and bad teeth, and bad food. And fighting against anyone allied with France.

(Hatafutte Parade, zooms on Japan)

England: (opens his mouth)

[Continued next episode…]

(Credits)

China: AHH! AH! YOU! MESSED! UP!
China’s Boss: You realize I am dragon, don’t you? Stuffed kitty no hurt me.

Translations
• Maria Theresa: Also known as one of my favorite women in history, she was the first female absolute ruler of the Habsburg dynasty. The Habsburgs (or Hapsburgs, either is correct and I switch back and forth too) was founded in the 11th century when a dude named Count Radbot built a castle in Swabia and named it Habsburg. Today, Habsburg Castle is in the municipality of Habsburg in Switzerland and is a Swiss heritage site of national importance. Anyway, they eventually became one of the head honchos in European politics through conquest and strategic marriages, and at one point even the Emperor of Mexico was a Habsburg (though only for like 3 years before the monarchy was abolished again). She herself lived from 1717 to 1780, and her full name was Maria Theresa Walburga Amalia Christina. She was the last main branch Habsburg ruler of Austria, though the dynasty continued in Spain for a longer period.

• Silesia: Prussia is right in his pronunciation. It’s a central European region, now in modern day Poland, Germany, and Czechia, with a vast majority in Poland. The reason why Prussia cares so much about it is because it’s rich in mineral and natural resources, especially iron. If I remember correctly it was also a hot spot during the Industrial Revolution, but at that time it was uncontestably Prussian.

• So why did Prussia want Silesia specifically?: In 1740, the Kingdom of Prussia extended from Königsberg (now Kaliningrad) and Memel (now Klaipėda) in the East all the way to its border with the Seven United Provinces (The Netherlands)… but not continuously. When he inherited the throne, one of Frederick II of Prussia’s goals was to conquer the land separating the pieces of his kingdom. Silesia itself wasn’t really in the way of anything, but it was right there as the land separating Austria from his aggressive neighbors to the north, Prussia and Saxony. And it had all those resources, so why not, right? Austria formally ceded Silesia to Prussia in 1748, and after that it changed hands a few times, but as the anime’s notes state, “Austria never got it back.” I should note that the Habsburg dominion was also not continuous.

• From Prussia with Love: A reference to the James Bond movie From Russia With Love (1963)!

• Haydn: I thought there was an e in his name for a while but that’s a Canadian singer. He was an Austrian composer, and for a long time a court musician for the Hungarian Esterházy family. This isolated him from the rest of the music world, so he was “forced to become original.” Also he was Mozart’s friend, Beethoven’s teacher, and older bro of another composer. I love how classical composers all knew each other. His most famous work is probably the Surprise Symphony (Symphony no. 94). Also he was eight years old and not yet composing music when the War of Austrian Succession began. He had actually just joined the choir at St. Stephen’s Cathedral in 1740, and he didn’t leave (get kicked out due to losing the ability to hit the high notes) until after the war ended.

• We want music, dammit: Vienna was really big on music, basically, especially during the Classical period (which takes place after the war but). Austria not only wrote a lot of music during this time, but he also built a lot of instruments.

• War of Austrian Succession: In Europe there was a thing called Salic law. Originally from the Frankish civil law code, part of it said that girls can’t inherit land (actually it said they couldn’t inherit specifically Salic land but humans are good at nothing if not hearing half of a story and running with it). Upon her father Charles VI’s lack of a male heir, he issued the Pragmatic Sanction, which basically said that daughters could be head of the house if there weren’t any brothers to rule. It also put his daughters at more importance than those of his older brother and predecessor, Joseph I, who also had a shot at the throne thanks to the Mutual Pact of Succession. At first (after France and Spain asked for land, and Britain asked for the disbandment of a trading company, and other stuff), the sanction was recognized. However, later (probably when Frederick II ascended to the Prussian throne), France, Spain, Saxony-Poland, and Prussia took it back. Basically, since to them it was questionably legal, they thought they could get some land out of it.

• Why were France and Spain there?: If they beat up Austria, they could get territories in Italy and the Netherlands, duh! And they did; Spain was given Parma, Piacenza, and Guastalla (all Italian) back. France received the Austrian Netherlands (Belgium), but then gave it back.

• Saxony and Bayern: The Electorate of Saxony was one of the states of the HRE, and apparently they were aggressive towards Austria. Today it’s a state in Germany, and during the war of Austrian Succession, the Elector of Saxony was also King of Poland and Grand Duke of Lithuania. Bayern is the German word for Bavaria; the Electorate of Bavaria was further south than Saxony. It's also now a state in Germany. Please look up Count Montgelas. His Wikipedia image makes him look like a villain.

• Why is the Netherlands there: Because he was fighting on the side of the Habsburgs, maybe because France invaded the Austrian Netherlands, and maybe because Britain and the Netherlands were tied due to the Glorious Revolution (in which William of Orange, a Stadholder in the Netherlands, became King of England, Scotland, and Ireland), but I’m struggling to find a concrete statement as to the actual reason so these are just my guesses. There was one Dutch commander named Karl August, and I think he lost every battle he was in, poor guy. On a side note, France did really well in the war, and Austria did really well in battles of places that start with the letter “P”. (Obviously those weren’t the only battles the Austrians performed well in lol). Britain saw a lot of naval victories.

• A fist fight somewhere else? Why is Britain here?: The dub fails to mention it, but in during the War of Austrian Succession, France had a plan to invade Britain shortly after they declared war on each other. They got a large invasion fleet, but then a storm wrecked it so they changed their minds. The fist fight somewhere else is King George’s War between Britain and France in North America. Also there was an indecisive battle fought between them and Hyderabad as a three-way fight in India. In general, there was a worldwide Anglo-French war from 1744-48, ending with the same treaty that ended the War of Austrian Succession (Aix-la-Chapelle). Apparently France tried to invade Britain a lot and it never really worked.

• Why do I know so much about this war?: Honestly I have no clue.

Description
(Cheering)

Austrian Man: Long live the Archduchess of Austria!

Austrian Crowd: Long live the queen! Long live the Archduchess of Austria! Long live the queen! Long live the Archduchess of Austria!

(Opening, a special one this time)

[Maria Theresa]

Maria Theresa: From this day forward, you shall address me as “Your Royal Highness” or “Majesty.”

Austria: Ja, swell. Ah…!
(Gilbird: Meep! Meep! (peeps from hell))

Gilbird: Nyep! Nyep nyep! Niyo! Nyep… nwep! (This thing is a demon)

Austria: Nn.

Gilbird: nyep NYEP.

Maria Theresa: Is it un belated congratulations for me?

Austria: Hn… it’s from Prussia, but I’m not sure I’d call it a happy note!

Prussia’s voice: Hello little girl, I am Prussia and you are not! My awesomeness is exploding at an alarming rate, even for someone as awesome as the great Prussia!

[Prussia]

[Inauguration as Queen]

Prussia’s voice: Anyway, super happy, la la, to you and your inauguration, but I’m afraid we consider it no more than dried squirrel poop.

[However]
[We do not accept it.]

Prussia’s voice: Perhaps we’ll leave you alone if you give us Austria’s Silesia region. It’s pronounced “sai-lee-zhi-a”, right? Otherwise, we’ll attack you with awesomeness und laugh mightily as we destroy you!

[Attack]

Prussia’s voice: From Prussia with love.

[Love]

Prussia’s voice: P.S. I’m awesome!

[“Hello. This is Prussia. I’m getting more and more powerful, so powerful that I’m even more powerful than you are now. Congratulations on your inauguration as queen. However, we do not accept it. We’re willing to accept it, though, if you give us Austria’s Silesia region. Oh, and, if you refuse, we are ready to attack you. From Prussia, with love.”]

(The whole time Gilbird is chirping like he has bronchitis someone help this creature)

Narrator: In 1740, Maria Theresa was inaugurated as the Archduchess of Austria and Queen of Hungary. However, since she was the first archduchess of the House of Habsburg—in other words, a girl—big studly Prussia, who was also part of the Holy Roman Empire, thought chicks couldn’t lead. Such is the way of the H.R.E. To catch you up, the Holy Roman Empire was like a country made up of smaller little countries led by Austria. When Austria started getting weak, Prussia decided to make a move. “Hey, you got chick for queen so I’m going to force you gimme some of your land and maybe stick your head up your own butt! I’m awesome!” By the way, Italy was under the rule of Austria-Hungary at this time and it would be 100 years before unification. Now, to translate all that for the Americans, stuff happened in other countries that didn’t involve explosions or kicking ass.

[In 1740, Maria Theresa was inaugurated as the Archduchess of Austria and Queen of Hungary. However, since she was the first archduchess of the House of Habsburg, there was strong opposition and Prussia, who was also part of the Holy Roman Empire, found a fault with it. Although the Holy Roman Empire was large as a country, it was more like a group of small countries with Austria more or less being the leader. However, when Austria started losing its power, Prussia, also part of the Holy Roman Empire, said, “Your new boss is a woman, so please give us some land,” and invaded Austria. By the way, Italy was under the rule of Austria-Hungary around that time, and they had to wait for over 100 years before its unification.]

Chibitalia: Noooooo!!

Austria: My manly tract of land has been occupied by that demon douche, Prussia! We’ll gather soldiers and go take it back immediately!

Maria Theresa: Oh! Do you have to be… so vulgar?

Questioning Austrian Government Dude: Uhh, excuse me, please. You do realize that we are having a concert in march? Will this fighting of yours interrupt it?

Austrian Government Dude That Looks Like a Disney Dad: I refuse to live without the camaraderie of the choir!

Very Threatened Austrian Government Dude: If you try to take my piano, I will scratch out your eyes!

Austrian Government Dude Who’s Sick of it All: Damn straight. Und Haydn comes with, or I quit.

Another Austrian Government Dude: If we can’t bring the orchestra with us, I won’t go.

Austrian Government: Music! Music! We’ll make music! Not your war!

Austria: I can’t argue with that. You guys win.
(Austrian Government: Music! Music! Music! Music! Music! We’ll make music! Not your war!)

Maria Theresa: Please don’t turn into a pussy! Go to war!

Austria: Hetalia!

[And so, they somehow managed to go to war.]

Prussian Soldier: Everyone, start freaking out; Prussia’s here!

Prussia: Suck it, losers! That queen wants to fight no matter what, huh? Austria will have to be content at being my snack before my world domination meal. This so-called “army” that Austria has put together would make my grandmother laugh like this! “Yaa ha ha ha!” You’ve grown soft, und now is the time for Prussia to RISE LIKE A MAGIC JACK-IN-THE-BOX WARRIOR DEMON! Look at my soldiers und their mean faces! I taught them that face! I can’t wait to see you weep like a little baby girl-man-boy. Ehehehehe!

[Chaos]
[To put it simply, Europe at the time was in chaos.]

[France] [Prussia] [Spain] vs
[Austria] [England] [Netherlands]
[They’re in a fist fight somewhere else, too] (referring to France and England)

Narrator: In order to crush Austria, Prussia had to get France and Spain to go along with him. And also other countries nobody has ever heard of, like Saxony and Bayern, and Pittsburgh, which is a city in America so I don’t know why I just said that. Also, we’ve got the Netherlands up there, (whisper) but I’m not sure why.
With all these countries together, they had a Crush Austria Team! On the other side, the only one supporting Austria was Britain, who was used to bad odds—and bad teeth, and bad food. And fighting against anyone allied with France.

(Hatafutte Parade, zooms on Japan)

England: (opens his mouth)

[Continued next episode…]

(Credits)

China: AHH! AH! YOU! MESSED! UP!
China’s Boss: You realize I am dragon, don’t you? Stuffed kitty no hurt me.

Translations
• Maria Theresa: Also known as one of my favorite women in history, she was the first female absolute ruler of the Habsburg dynasty. The Habsburgs (or Hapsburgs, either is correct and I switch back and forth too) was founded in the 11th century when a dude named Count Radbot built a castle in Swabia and named it Habsburg. Today, Habsburg Castle is in the municipality of Habsburg in Switzerland and is a Swiss heritage site of national importance. Anyway, they eventually became one of the head honchos in European politics through conquest and strategic marriages, and at one point even the Emperor of Mexico was a Habsburg (though only for like 3 years before the monarchy was abolished again). She herself lived from 1717 to 1780, and her full name was Maria Theresa Walburga Amalia Christina. She was the last main branch Habsburg ruler of Austria, though the dynasty continued in Spain for a longer period.

• Silesia: Prussia is right in his pronunciation. It’s a central European region, now in modern day Poland, Germany, and Czechia, with a vast majority in Poland. The reason why Prussia cares so much about it is because it’s rich in mineral and natural resources, especially iron. If I remember correctly it was also a hot spot during the Industrial Revolution, but at that time it was uncontestably Prussian.

• So why did Prussia want Silesia specifically?: In 1740, the Kingdom of Prussia extended from Königsberg (now Kaliningrad) and Memel (now Klaipėda) in the East all the way to its border with the Seven United Provinces (The Netherlands)… but not continuously. When he inherited the throne, one of Frederick II of Prussia’s goals was to conquer the land separating the pieces of his kingdom. Silesia itself wasn’t really in the way of anything, but it was right there as the land separating Austria from his aggressive neighbors to the north, Prussia and Saxony. And it had all those resources, so why not, right? Austria formally ceded Silesia to Prussia in 1748, and after that it changed hands a few times, but as the anime’s notes state, “Austria never got it back.” I should note that the Habsburg dominion was also not continuous.

• From Prussia with Love: A reference to the James Bond movie From Russia With Love (1963)!

• Haydn: I thought there was an e in his name for a while but that’s a Canadian singer. He was an Austrian composer, and for a long time a court musician for the Hungarian Esterházy family. This isolated him from the rest of the music world, so he was “forced to become original.” Also he was Mozart’s friend, Beethoven’s teacher, and older bro of another composer. I love how classical composers all knew each other. His most famous work is probably the Surprise Symphony (Symphony no. 94). Also he was eight years old and not yet composing music when the War of Austrian Succession began. He had actually just joined the choir at St. Stephen’s Cathedral in 1740, and he didn’t leave (get kicked out due to losing the ability to hit the high notes) until after the war ended.

• We want music, dammit: Vienna was really big on music, basically, especially during the Classical period (which takes place after the war but). Austria not only wrote a lot of music during this time, but he also built a lot of instruments.

• War of Austrian Succession: In Europe there was a thing called Salic law. Originally from the Frankish civil law code, part of it said that girls can’t inherit land (actually it said they couldn’t inherit specifically Salic land but humans are good at nothing if not hearing half of a story and running with it). Upon her father Charles VI’s lack of a male heir, he issued the Pragmatic Sanction, which basically said that daughters could be head of the house if there weren’t any brothers to rule. It also put his daughters at more importance than those of his older brother and predecessor, Joseph I, who also had a shot at the throne thanks to the Mutual Pact of Succession. At first (after France and Spain asked for land, and Britain asked for the disbandment of a trading company, and other stuff), the sanction was recognized. However, later (probably when Frederick II ascended to the Prussian throne), France, Spain, Saxony-Poland, and Prussia took it back. Basically, since to them it was questionably legal, they thought they could get some land out of it.

• Why were France and Spain there?: If they beat up Austria, they could get territories in Italy and the Netherlands, duh! And they did; Spain was given Parma, Piacenza, and Guastalla (all Italian) back. France received the Austrian Netherlands (Belgium), but then gave it back.

• Saxony and Bayern: The Electorate of Saxony was one of the states of the HRE, and apparently they were aggressive towards Austria. Today it’s a state in Germany, and during the war of Austrian Succession, the Elector of Saxony was also King of Poland and Grand Duke of Lithuania. Bayern is the German word for Bavaria; the Electorate of Bavaria was further south than Saxony. It's also now a state in Germany. Please look up Count Montgelas. His Wikipedia image makes him look like a villain.

• Why is the Netherlands there: Because he was fighting on the side of the Habsburgs, maybe because France invaded the Austrian Netherlands, and maybe because Britain and the Netherlands were tied due to the Glorious Revolution (in which William of Orange, a Stadholder in the Netherlands, became King of England, Scotland, and Ireland), but I’m struggling to find a concrete statement as to the actual reason so these are just my guesses. There was one Dutch commander named Karl August, and I think he lost every battle he was in, poor guy. On a side note, France did really well in the war, and Austria did really well in battles of places that start with the letter “P”. (Obviously those weren’t the only battles the Austrians performed well in lol). Britain saw a lot of naval victories.

• A fist fight somewhere else? Why is Britain here?: The dub fails to mention it, but in during the War of Austrian Succession, France had a plan to invade Britain shortly after they declared war on each other. They got a large invasion fleet, but then a storm wrecked it so they changed their minds. The fist fight somewhere else is King George’s War between Britain and France in North America. Also there was an indecisive battle fought between them and Hyderabad as a three-way fight in India. In general, there was a worldwide Anglo-French war from 1744-48, ending with the same treaty that ended the War of Austrian Succession (Aix-la-Chapelle). Apparently France tried to invade Britain a lot and it never really worked.

• Why do I know so much about this war?: Honestly I have no clue.