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hippo2 — Djinn's Justice - Part 5
Published: 2011-05-14 06:49:36 +0000 UTC; Views: 4896; Favourites: 28; Downloads: 0
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Martha knocked on Saoirse's door.“Please wait a second!” the harpist replied. Martha could hear some low noises from behind the door, but she couldn’t make out what it was. Finally, Saoirse opened the door. “You are from the hotel, right? What do you want from me?”
“I’d like to talk to you. About Roisin.” Martha replied.
“Roisin? Why should we talk about her?”
“Because she claims that you locked her inside a bottle one year ago.” Martha accused Saoirse.
“And how should I have done this?” Saoirse asked with a sarcastic tone.
“You wished from a genie that Roisin should be locked inside the lamp.” Martha explained.
“Hahahahaha! You should listen to yourself.” Saoirse mocked Martha. “Do you really belief in a fairy tale?”
“I do not only belief in it. I’m a genie myself!” Martha replied. She snapped and a small fireball appeared over her hand.
Saoirse’s smile froze instantly. “We better talk inside.” she bid Martha to come in. “I guess Roisin told you about my genie?”
“That’s right!”
“Where is Roisin?” Saoirse asked.
“I’ll tell you where she is, if you let me talk to your genie.” Martha bargained.
Saoirse thought for a moment. “Alright! I’ll let you talk to her.” She finally agreed. Saoirse opened the wardrobe and produced a red and black glass bottle. She rubbed the bottle and a genie appeared.
The genie was female. She wore red and black clothes, that were a strange mixture of old and modern styles. The genie yawned and stretched: “That took longer than I expected!”
“My name is Martha. I'm a genie like yourself. What's yours?”
“Hello there!” the genie said and shook Martha’s hand violently. “People call me Fractal! How are you?”
“I'm fine. Thank you.” Martha replied. Then she realized, that Fractal wasn’t wearing any bracelets. “Are you a free genie?”
“Free? Whats that?” Then: “Oh, those bracelets came off years ago when a friend made a wish! Back in 1916 there was a big fuss in Dublin. So he wished that I wouldn’t have to follow orders in case the British found me.”
“I see. This wish set you free.” Martha said.
“Why do people keep saying that, “Free”? What does it mean?”
“It means, that you are no longer a slave. That you are no longer forced to grant someone's wishes.”
“So that’s why I’ve been able to say ‘No’ more often than before....” Fractal mused.
Martha nodded. "Fractal, why are you still granting Saoire's wishes?
“Well Saoirse said I have to. Saoirse is usually right about things!”
“Mhhh... About a year ago, she wished that you trap another woman in a bottle. do you remember?” Martha asked.
“Free? Whats that?” Then: “Oh, those bracelets came off years ago when a friend made a wish! Back in 1916 there was a big fuss in Dublin. So he wished that I wouldn’t have to follow orders in case the British found me.”
“I see. This wish set you free.” Martha said.
“Why do people keep saying that, “Free”? What does it mean?”
“It means, that you are no longer a slave. That you are no longer forced to grant someone's wishes.”
“So that’s why I’ve been able to say ‘No’ more often than before....” Fractal mused.
Martha nodded. "Fractal, why are you still granting Saoire's wishes?
“Well Saoirse said I have to. Saoirse is usually right about things!”
“Mhhh... About a year ago, she wished that you trap another woman in a bottle. do you remember?” Martha asked.
“Oh yes, that lady was an evil banshee, trying to steal Saiorse's harp! And Saiorse loves her harp!”
At these words, Martha's eyes seemed to drop from the sockets. “But this woman already had a harp. Why should she steal Saoirse's harp?”
Now, Fractal was confused: “Saoirse, is what the nice lady saying true?”
“Of course not! She's lying!” Saoirse insisted fiercely.
“Why don't you use your magic powers to find out the truth, Fractal?” Martha proposed.
Fractal concentrated really hard. In her mind, she reached out into the past until she saw Roisin playing on her own harp. When Fractal’s mind returned to the present, the genie glared angrily at Saoirse: “Roisin wasn’t really a banshee, was she?”
“Don’t listen to her lies!” Saoirse tried to defend herself.
“She was human. And one year ago, Saoirse sold her bottle on E-bay. Roisin was sent to Switzerland, where she was released from the bottle.” Martha continued to explain.
At these words, Saoire'sgot pale."Listen, Fractal. Roisin is evil. She used Martha's powers to injure me yesterday."
“Martha, is that true?” Fractal asked with fear in her eyes.
“It is true!” Martha admitted. “I wish I had another choice, but was forced to grant her wish. I’m very glad that the injuries wasn’t that strong.”
“You broke my hand, you evil genie! But Fractal healed me when I returned from the hospital.” Saoirse chipped in.
“But why would Roisin do something like that, if she wasn’t an evil banshee?” Fractal asked.
“Saoirse used your powers to get Roisin's position at the orchestra. That’s why Roisin wished that Saoirse would be so badly injured, that she couldn’t play anymore.”
“You are so mean, Saoirse!” Fractal yelled at the harpist. “I don’t want to be your friend anymore. I hate being used for horrible endeavors!”
“Me neither. After Roisin forced me to hurt Saoirse, I twisted her last wish for punishment.” Martha replied. “I turned her into a wonderful new harp.”
“Hehe, that gives me an idea. Saoirse, for your evil deeds, I put a spell on you. The only harp you will be able to play on will be the harp that was once Roisin.” Fractal said and blinked. Colored lights danced around Roisin's head.
“Oh really?” Saoirse mocked Fractal. She walked over to her own harp, but when she touched a string, the string broke. “Curse you, Fractal!” Saoirse shouted. “Where is that Roisin harp?”
“I’ll get her!” Fractal blinked and the new harp appeared. Saoirse was quite shocked.
“You have to be nice to Roisin. Otherwise, she might not let you play on her, hahahaha!” Martha laughed.
Cautiously, Saoirse plugged the strings. The music sounded very angry.
“Maybe you should apologize to Roisin first?” Martha suggested.
“Listen Roisin, I’m very sorry for what I did.” Saoirse plugged the strings again. This time the sound was a little bit better.
“I guess the two of you need a lot of practice.” Martha said. Then she asked her Fractal: “What will you do now? Will you stay with Saoirse?”
“No I want to go somewhere, where I can be happy. Is Disneyland nearby?”
“Euro-Disneyland is in Paris. I can send you in your bottle there if you want.”
“That would be awesome!” Fractal said. “Thank you very much. I’ll send you a card or something when I’m there.”
“Take care of yourself.” Martha wished Fractal goodbye before Fractal returned to her bottle. Martha took the bottle with her and left theroom.
THE END
Part 1: [link]
Part 2: [link]
Part 3: [link]
Part 4: [link]
Proofreading by
Fractal is an OC by
Martha will return in:
He's MY Master! [link]
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Comments: 25
Err... wow. That was a shocking lack of empathy on Martha's part in this story. Roisin had a backstory to almost rival Sami's backstory, but Martha just kinda'... didn't care. It seemed so odd, going from Sami's backstory, and Martha feeling really bad for him, then going to Martha's backstory, and Martha declaring that Roisin is just as bad as Saoirse. Except, no, she's really not as bad as Saoirse.
I mean, on one hand, I can understand Martha's feelings, to a point. Roisin was vague about her dislike of Saoirse: her calling what Saoirse did "dirty tricks" makes Saoirse sound far less horrible than what she actually did. Saoirse trapped Roisin in a lamp, possibly for the rest of her life, and sent her away to a foreign country, I guess just in case she did get out. When she did get out, she was trapped in an insane asylum for almost a year, then homeless after she got out... so yeah. It's really difficult for me not to be on Roisin's side.
That's probably difficult to share with people, though, hence her writing off that hell as "dirty tricks." I dunno'... after Roisin shared her story, I was surprised Martha was not only unsympathetic, but actually angrier. Even if Roisin wasn't exactly right to get revenge on Saoirse, maybe she'd try to help Roisin out a bit, instead of... well, getting revenge on Roisin. That felt more than a little hypocritical of Martha at that point, really. After everything Roisin had been through, she felt like she needed a hug 
Anyway, it's not so much that breaking Saoirse's hand was right, but after everything Saoirse had put Roisin through, it'd have been nice for Martha not to immediately go into "revenge mode."
Onto happier things, Svetlana... who is oddly a happier part of the story! Who, like Gregorios, seems to love turning innocent people into things... well, it's actually tragic if you think about it much. Unless Svetlana has a random change of heart later on, their futures are gonna' suck.
Amelia doesn't seem mean, from what we saw of her, anyway. Though it's probably not good for her only friend to be Svetlana.
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Martha seems to start to think like Sami here. Sami is much more interesting to her, since he's a jinn too. But the other's are just humans. An Martha already had some bad experiences with humans. It's definitely a harsh punishment. And what Martha will go through in the next story is kind of punishment for what she did in this story here.
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Wow. You actually managed to create a "good" character with morals that conflict with your own. Thank you. All too often - not just on dA, but also on sites exclusively about writing - I see people write characters that're just themselves when it comes to morality. Even with pre-existent characters, authors mould the morals of "good" characters to exclusively agree with their own, and mould the morals of "bad" characters to exclusively disagree with their own. Hell, I'd be lying if I said I have never fallen into that trap. It's incredibly refreshing to see someone break away from that and give their main character some morals most would disagree with, while still expecting their audience to identify with that main character. You've even pulled it off with enough competence where I can say I see why Martha did what she did, without being able to say I would have done the same. Thank you again.
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Thank you for the praise.
But I wouldn't call Martha a "good" character. I don't like only pure good and pure evil characrers. I like characters with many shades of grey. And most of my characters have these. Martha commits good and evil deeds, even from a genie point of view. She's a truely grey character.
David is a grey, or slightly good character too, but his hatred for genies is a real problem.
Amelia is propably the most "good" character. Though she can be selfish too, especially when it comes to getting together with David.
Sami is a rather dark character. But sometimes, he does something really good too. You will wonder if Martha can reform him into a better person.
The two villains Svetlana and Gregorios are truely evil. I need these evil characters so Sami doesn't look completely evil. Still, if you look at Gregorios, you see some rare good sparks in him too.
Did you already finish reading the story?
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I have not yet read all of Martha's stories. I'm currently reading He's MY Master.
I should have specified what I meant with good. I thought that putting the word in quotation-marks would make clear I was using the word in jest. What I meant to say with the word was that Martha is the main character; we're supposed to sympathise with her. Often writers think the only way to make their characters relate-able is to make their morals comply completely with those of the writer. Once again, I commend you for being able to get away from that mentality.
Other than that I don't really have any more to say. Everything you said is basically correct.
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You don't necessary have to like the main character. If you look at the french cartoon "Iznogoud", the main character is the evil vizier "Iznogoud", who constantly tries to dispose of the Caliph and become the next caliph himself. The fun is to watch how all is evil schemes fail in the funny way. It's a bit like Cartman from South Park.
In some way, I use Martha as an experiment to try out what will happen if a person has unlimited powers (or nearly unlimited powers). Will Martha be corrupted by her genie powers or can she keep human values? You'll find out when you continue reading.
I'd be very happy for any feedback you give me on my stories.
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That is true. Main characters don't need to be likeable. However, more often than not, they are written to be just that. And even when they aren't, they're usually at least relate-able.
I'm look forward to reading about how that question is answered by the rest of your story.
If I have strong thoughts about the story, I'll be sure to post them as a comment. I should warm you though, I'm not very good at putting my thoughts about a story into words.
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my only real problem is that they forgave eachother too easily. If I got turned (presumably) permanently into a harp, I would'nt be so eager to forgive
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I wouldn't say she had forgiven her completely yet. It's still a very long way to go.
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Yeah, Fractal helped me a lot with the last chapter. So, it's only fair to give her OC a cameo.
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well great job to the both of you you both did great, hope to see another one in the future
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is working on a followup picture. Can't wait to see the result.
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It's only coincidence that the harp looks like one of the objects from the den. The idea of a harp with a human-shaped column is much older. Just think about "Jack and the beanstalk".
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I prefer to see genies with bare bellies, but the sheer pantaloons and heels are good!
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Fractal is an OC and has a specific design. [link]
Still never showed her legs, so I had some artistic freedom here.
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^_^ That was a great story! I loved the part with the harp. That was a great idea. Having to befriend her.
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Thank you!
Whom do you want to befriend? Martha, Fractal or the harp?
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Then you should talk to the owner of this OC,
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