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Hiroplex — LGC: Return to Sender 3
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Published: 2011-03-20 06:54:36 +0000 UTC; Views: 771; Favourites: 5; Downloads: 21
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Description
The third comic in the new offshoot of the LGC!Isaac and Garrus start to get some foundations down, as they are interrupted by some nosy and rowdy CA officers. How are the protagonists going to settle this confrontation... Well, I'm pretty sure you know how this is going to end. Not well.
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Comments: 138
Deep down aren't we all mad scientist's.
And becides he could be living a double life as a Mad Vatican Warlock Ninja Assassin/Scientist for all we know.
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Isaac Clarke: Psychotic Space Pimp by day, Mad Vatican Scientist Assassin by noon, Engineer by evening, and plumber by night. :V
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When you thought you knew a guy.
But at least I'll know who to call when my toilet starts acting up from chili dog night.....don't ask.
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Isaac has obviously dealt with worse. :V
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Yeah we'll see.
But I'll call him to fix it if I'm still alive for the next few hundred years.
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Trust me, I'm sure he'll be around. He'll fashion an immortality device or something by the third game. :V
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Well I kinda meant...AH nevermind.
Wait you mean the immortal device that you could put together with (write this down kids) scrap metal, a hundred Power Stars, the "Back to the Future Trilogy" DVD, a pint of Necro-Tiger Blood, a couple dead Lurker fetuses, and (just for kicks) a full bag of "Quarian Burgers".
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Wait, what did you mean?
The quarian burgers ensure that even if you outlive the universe and you are doomed to exist in an eternal void of nothingness, you'll at least be tripping balls so hard you won't notice. :V
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Oh and speaking of Quarian burgers, ever heard, seen, or tried they're weed. [link]
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"Tali, can you hook me up with some of that?" :V
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Un dude I think she passed out from smoking that sh*t.....wait a minute, if she's passed out on the floor and her "stash" is completly ungaurded.
Do you know what this means.
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This means sell the stash for fornax and tie her to a pole to use as a white flag-
That's what you meant right? :V
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Un well taking the stash was one, but the last three wasn't what I had in mind.....buuuuuuuuut we could do what you said, and do what I had in mind.
Which involves taking her "stash", raiding her fridge for "burgers", write inappropriate things on her helmet, then we'll do what you suggest by selling the weed, buy some porn, then perading Tali around like a flag with absolutely noooooo repercussions for are wacky actions.
But first "Hey Tali if want us to do those things I just mentioned then lay on the ground, don't move, and don't say anything"......you "heard" her lets do it.
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So, I think I got this down.
We raid the stash, take Tali back with us, parade burgers around and tie the stash to a flag pole. Genius man!
Wait, what does Tali have to do with this again? :V
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Thank you and why do we need her for this well.......OH that's right we were going to use her as are carrying case for the all the "stash" and "burgers" that we're "borrowing" from her which makes SO much sense.
And.....something about straping someone to a flag pole and....oh um write rude but funny comments on a mask..or something and...un....the plan is kinda starting to blank out a bit from all this smoke, it's making me a bit...dizzy.....*heh*heh*
And this might be second-hand QW (Quarain Weed) talking, but I hear that Quarain carrying cases are all the rage in Shaponostain City....*heh*heh*heh*...including the underground Ratabata Clan Society.....*mmm*mmm*mmm*
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I don't follow anymore... Can I just get high now? :V
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(Smoking on something)......*cough* haahahahhah heh hehehehe ho ho ho ho ho....eeheheheheh *coughing*....dude this is sooooo trip...there's people and sh*t holding hands in...peace and making love to purple rainbows and*cough*doing the shifting left to right dance to the moon and un......sorry what you say?
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I didn't say anything, that was the yellow vegan toad of Zambia talking to us through the mesotronic microspeely.
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*Chuckling*...Ku hahahahahahahehehehe....oh man that's so very freaking rad man.....haha ehheeh....dude were so gonna party like it's....34691337....all niiiight lo-OH A PILLOW!! (lands face first on said pillow).....heh soft purple chocolate pershapooda....thing.....*snoring*
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I have no idea what happened.
So I am now a dog.
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Iz haz no idea vhat you sust saidz!@#$
But I'm on a horse riding on a boat that's heading bang boom zoom stright to the moon.
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"Here I go, down the slope, zip-zap-zoopity-bop!"
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Don na na na don na na na HEY HEY HEY I SMELL POOOOOOO!!!!
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HUH.....WHAT.....OKAAAAAAY!!!
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Leather Belt...AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! (passes out)
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Oh great, ANOTHER passed out person on my DA profile. People are going to start asking questions. :V
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*A mysterious person apppears out of nowhere and hands you a shovel with a sticky note attached saying "YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO", then said mysterious person dissappears into the shadows*
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Uhm... Make a reality TV series!
Woo, check out these lifeless husks for people do crazy stuff! :V
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*Recovers from being passed out*......Ha ha I bet they would probly make-out with a Husk if someone payed the poor saps a doller.
I wonder what's on T.V......* channel surfing*....mmmmmm ("I'm a Teenage Reaper: The Movie")....lame.....("Blasto the Jellyfish: Goo of Fury").....sounds cheesy....("How to Do Your Quarian With Five Easy Steps").....O_O....really...welllll-WAIT no it's got to be fake, no one would be stupid enough to fall for this.
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It's reality TV, they can get away with anything! :V
I'm sure they mean how to... Okay yeah, that's exactly what they mean. Tali, any of that true?
"Nope, they made that all up!"
Oh well, I'll watch that first one. *Changes channel*
"I'm a Reaper, I'll never get a date for the prom!"
"You won't even fit in the prom!"
This show is lame. :V
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Heh no kidding.
*grumbling* "Stupid lying T.V. ruining my expectations"
I wonder what else is on *changes the channel*
"Welcome back to Omega Cribs on Otv where we find the most pimp-out homes that aren't completly trashed or it's owners not dead yet.".....I might come back to that.....*chnnel flip*
"This is Fornax Spy TV where we place hidden camera's in random mostly popular peoples rooms catching them in the middle of intimate acts with their partner or partners.
This episode we captured footage of a certain human Commander who has multiple relationships with severly members of his crew without any of them founding out about the other.
And lets just say that he's gone where no man has gone before. Their faces have been covered up to protect thier identity."......This guy sounds like a freaking pro I got to see this.
(Three minutes later in the bathroom)...*puking in the toilet*...Ugh...THAT GUY IS A SICK TWISTED, LYING, DECITFUL, BASTURD FROM HELL.......I CAN'T BELIEVE HE COULD GET AWAY WITH ALL THAT SH*T GOING ON!!!
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It's okay, if it makes you feel any better, I told Grunt that Shepard had feelings for him. This will be hilarious. :V
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Now THAT'S what T.V's all about. Getting people into oh sh*t moments for are entertainment.
Oh man I got to record this.....ok lets watch.
......Ok he's going into the room....he's now asking Shepard if it's true....and Shepard's is being all like "what's true?"....and Grunt's all like "I heard what I heard" and Shepard is then like "what are you talking about?"....then Grunt quickly rips Shepard's shirt off with a single swipe....wow....I can't believe anyone can pull that off....wait what he doing now.....he just grabbed Shepard and......what the hells Grunt doing......he's just pulled Shapard to his face and....no....no...he's not doing what I think he's.....oh...OH MY GOD EWWWW IN THE MOUTH OHHHHHH SH*T.....dude....DUDE AHHHHH good god I can't belive that he just....with his mouth and.. oh jezz man...un ok Shepard trying to get loose of Grunt's bone crushing grip......then Grunt just thrown Shepard on the bed very hard...now Grunt's pulling his pants off..and-OK I can't watch this anymore it's getting way to nasty.
You can keep watching. I'm gonna go and make a Tali Sandwi-un I mean a Jill Sandwich...yeah that's what meant.
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It's okay, I already gauged my eyes out with a rusty fork. Anything to save myself from watching THAT.
Tali won't make a good sandwich, she's not even edible- Wait. Oh God what.
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Unnnn....*throws the bat out the window* what bat I don't see a bat your imaging things.
(Meanwhile outside)
Interviewer Whats-Her-Face: Commender Shepard, Commander Shepard I was hoping I could ask you some quest-*CRACK* *falls unconscious due do a falling bat to the skull*
Shepard: 0-0......*looks both ways*........*walks away whistling*
(Back to the comment at hand)
I um...I'm just going to go make that sandwich that's NOT made with people or aliens, just preserved meat that you would find at "normal" food store and NOT at a black-market which is conviently located at the back of said store.
.....You want anything.
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I'll go with whatever the krogan eat. They must eat well... And plenty. :V
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Mmmmmmo'kay I'LL BE BACK!.....with food.
Soooo don't blow up house....or whatever this place is (that we broke into off-screen) while I'm gone.
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*Puts detonator away* I'll try not to.
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Good I'll be back before you can say "Boom Chaka Laka Laka Boom".
(Goes outside)....Hey who the hell left this interviewer on the lawn, If I found the sorry punk who....*notices a dented bat covered in something red*......un......*whistles and walks away*.
(After a boring uneventful food run later)...Yo I'm back and I wasn't sure if this was fatal to humans or not but I like to test stuff I'll the ti-....un Hiro who are all these people.
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These are the people from... Uh, the... I actually don't know.
"Who hid the nachos!?"
OH! I know now! They're just quarian party animals.
Wait, isn't nachos dangerous to them... Ahhhh, whatever. :V
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Yeah who cares, we been eating their "burgers" and nothings gone wrong...except getting high as sh*t and winding up butt naked in pool of filled with jello with chopped up peices of Varren guts. Other then that nothing too horrible.
So a few quarian's snack on a couple nachos what's the worst that could happen, not like nachos ever hurt anybody.
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As long as no one notices there's a quarian cheeseburger shortage in the Flotilla, we're cool. :V
And besides? Nachos are amazing, no way they could cause any harm... *Looks behind him*
Well, the party just, died, literally.
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Yeah not like they have security camara's or anything to be sure no one was stealing them.........wait.
....Anyway what do mean the party just di-*looks behind you* Oh sh*t....
...If you excuse me I'm gonna grab a few shovels to.....bary a few things.
*leaves and comes back with two shovels* here you go.
Alright no one should ever know about this, and if anyone asks tell them that they all went on a long-term vacation and never back.
But if they don't buy it, we might have to skip town or space for a few weeks, years, or forever.
And for any reason that if somebody were to see what really happened......you know what to do when it comes to witnesses....right.
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Yes, I know exactly what to do in situations like this.
*Points at you* HE DID IT DON'T HURT ME.
Sorry, I couldn't resist- *Realizes we have been standing in a burning building for the last 10 comments* ...Uhm, think we got bigger issues? :V
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I was wondering why this place so hot....wait...THE FREAKING PLACE IS ON FIRE!!!!!
WE NEED TO MAKE IT LIKE HOCKY PLAYERS AND GET THE PUCK OUT OF HERE!!! (rushes outside)
....*watches the building burn to the ground*....Well good thing is that we have a excuse what happened to the party-goers, and no saw what happen so looks like we got off scot-free.
Thank god that wasn't my house or I would be extremly pissed.....whoever owned it WILL be...soooo yeah hope they have insurence.
Despite the fact that "you" not "me" murdered a group of party-goers with processed food and most likely somehow set the place on fire. Today's been okay.
Have some cake that I pulled off screen.
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You... You put pink icing on it...?
How could you... *Head explodes*
And so ends another episode of... I don't know, what the hell just happened? :V
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YEA MORE CAKE FOR ME!!! *takes a bite* mmmmmmm.....wait a minute this taste like.....O_O NITROGLYCERIN OH FU-*head explodes*
And the moral of this story is.........Believe in your dreams and don't do drugs unless it's from other planet or something like that.
Note: No quarians were harmed in the making of this comment show.....sorta.
Only person that WAS harmed was the interviewer lady.....but does anyone really give a crap.
THE END....or is it?
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God dammit, fucking sequel bait, they're going to ruin my show and milk it for money until it's a completely dead concept and a withering fucking HUSK! I WON'T ALLOW IT, YOU HEAR ME!? I WON'T ALLOW IT!
*Rampages around the set while firing his pistol into the air uselessly*
:V
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