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Description

As usual, see the uncensored version on FurAffinity, Pixiv, Newgrounds, and Twitter

Something I realized as I was originally posting this to Patreon is that the few times I've done Total Drama fanart that wasn't a commission each actually reflects my growth as both a person and as an artist in ways that basically none of my followers except for very close friends would even be aware of if it wasn't pointed out to them. So I'mma point it out to them.
www.deviantart.com/hyperflanne…
The first time was a pic of Gwen that copied the show's art style as closely as I could, because my biggest creative influences growing up, the IPs I learned how to draw with, were Super Mario, Sonic the Hedgehog, and Danny Phantom, maybe not everything I drew growing up looked exactly like those IPs, but that core was still there, so an angular art style with flat colors and thick outlines just appealed to me a lot more back then, even if it was attached to an IP I was never very big on outside of the character designs.
www.deviantart.com/hyperflanne…
Then, the next time I drew Total Drama of my own accord (which I count the poll pics as since I willingly choose to put those characters on the poll), it was Gwen again, and I went with a more detailed and not-quite-realistic-but-much-more-so-comparatively style, because since then I had actually come to see the old approach in a negative light, something that behind closed doors made me kinda hate art and see it as a frustrating chore because the only thing that mattered to me wasn't, you know, having fun, but rather pushing myself as hard as I could to try to make my art more grandiose and higher in scale. Art for me became a means to an end, to try to catch more attention, more followers, more potential commissioners, more Patreon pledges, to treat those numbers as if it were my high score in a video game, to get a bigger proverbial dick that I could lord over anyone who ever doubted me, which there were plenty of, but especially this one much more popular artist who used to be a personal hero of mine until an exchange I had with him made me feel like I wasn't worth shit. Every second that I wasn't proving him wrong was a second I was proving him right by default, a dangerous mindset that combined with many other factors in my life I'd rather not elaborate on now had me in a legitimately dark place up until fairly recently. And in this specific instance it really didn't help that this person is a big Total Drama fan with an art style that seems heavily inspired by it, making me want even less to do with any elements of it. I was gonna be damned if anyone compared me to him, to the point that it even factored into how I set my commission prices, because I was gonna be further damned if anyone said he had better prices than me. Who that artist is isn't necessarily a secret, but I'd rather not say it publicly, I'd rather not start any fights with him or his fans, especially with how this story ends. There's more to this story, so maybe I'll tell a more detailed account some other time.
Now with this pic, there's more of a happy medium between the two approaches, because I've done a lot of attitude adjusting, even going so far as to take responsibility for my own emotions and admit that at least some of the inner conflict I was having with this guy was a result of entitlement, like I thought he owed me something that he really didn't, allowing me to finally learn to let go of how that whole situation made me feel, which has felt more liberating than I ever thought it would. Maybe it would be inaccurate to say that I like the guy again, but with hatred no-longer my ally, I refuse to let it fuel my actions anymore. Creative habits I've picked up along the way to my misguided goals are still present, because I can't deny the past's influence, as I can't change the past, but after finally letting go and moving on, and no-longer concerned with beating someone at their own game, I've finally been able to dial it back and embrace western cartoon-inspired elements again without constantly feeling like I'm sacrificing quality or integrity.

My biggest creative influences growing up, the IPs I learned how to draw with, were Super Mario, Sonic the Hedgehog, and Danny Phantom, maybe not everything I draw now looks exactly like those IPs, but that core is still there, and now that I'm not fighting that anymore, and with increased technical skill compared to the last time that was my approach, I feel like the past few months I've been putting out my best content yet. And that's all I really care about now in regards to my art.

So in Danganronpa terms, first I was Hajime, then I became Izuru, now I'm Hajime with Izuru's red eyes

Description

As usual, see the uncensored version on FurAffinity, Pixiv, Newgrounds, and Twitter

Something I realized as I was originally posting this to Patreon is that the few times I've done Total Drama fanart that wasn't a commission each actually reflects my growth as both a person and as an artist in ways that basically none of my followers except for very close friends would even be aware of if it wasn't pointed out to them. So I'mma point it out to them.
www.deviantart.com/hyperflanne…
The first time was a pic of Gwen that copied the show's art style as closely as I could, because my biggest creative influences growing up, the IPs I learned how to draw with, were Super Mario, Sonic the Hedgehog, and Danny Phantom, maybe not everything I drew growing up looked exactly like those IPs, but that core was still there, so an angular art style with flat colors and thick outlines just appealed to me a lot more back then, even if it was attached to an IP I was never very big on outside of the character designs.
www.deviantart.com/hyperflanne…
Then, the next time I drew Total Drama of my own accord (which I count the poll pics as since I willingly choose to put those characters on the poll), it was Gwen again, and I went with a more detailed and not-quite-realistic-but-much-more-so-comparatively style, because since then I had actually come to see the old approach in a negative light, something that behind closed doors made me kinda hate art and see it as a frustrating chore because the only thing that mattered to me wasn't, you know, having fun, but rather pushing myself as hard as I could to try to make my art more grandiose and higher in scale. Art for me became a means to an end, to try to catch more attention, more followers, more potential commissioners, more Patreon pledges, to treat those numbers as if it were my high score in a video game, to get a bigger proverbial dick that I could lord over anyone who ever doubted me, which there were plenty of, but especially this one much more popular artist who used to be a personal hero of mine until an exchange I had with him made me feel like I wasn't worth shit. Every second that I wasn't proving him wrong was a second I was proving him right by default, a dangerous mindset that combined with many other factors in my life I'd rather not elaborate on now had me in a legitimately dark place up until fairly recently. And in this specific instance it really didn't help that this person is a big Total Drama fan with an art style that seems heavily inspired by it, making me want even less to do with any elements of it. I was gonna be damned if anyone compared me to him, to the point that it even factored into how I set my commission prices, because I was gonna be further damned if anyone said he had better prices than me. Who that artist is isn't necessarily a secret, but I'd rather not say it publicly, I'd rather not start any fights with him or his fans, especially with how this story ends. There's more to this story, so maybe I'll tell a more detailed account some other time.
Now with this pic, there's more of a happy medium between the two approaches, because I've done a lot of attitude adjusting, even going so far as to take responsibility for my own emotions and admit that at least some of the inner conflict I was having with this guy was a result of entitlement, like I thought he owed me something that he really didn't, allowing me to finally learn to let go of how that whole situation made me feel, which has felt more liberating than I ever thought it would. Maybe it would be inaccurate to say that I like the guy again, but with hatred no-longer my ally, I refuse to let it fuel my actions anymore. Creative habits I've picked up along the way to my misguided goals are still present, because I can't deny the past's influence, as I can't change the past, but after finally letting go and moving on, and no-longer concerned with beating someone at their own game, I've finally been able to dial it back and embrace western cartoon-inspired elements again without constantly feeling like I'm sacrificing quality or integrity.

My biggest creative influences growing up, the IPs I learned how to draw with, were Super Mario, Sonic the Hedgehog, and Danny Phantom, maybe not everything I draw now looks exactly like those IPs, but that core is still there, and now that I'm not fighting that anymore, and with increased technical skill compared to the last time that was my approach, I feel like the past few months I've been putting out my best content yet. And that's all I really care about now in regards to my art.

So in Danganronpa terms, first I was Hajime, then I became Izuru, now I'm Hajime with Izuru's red eyes