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If you hadn't yet, please read the prologue first

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You were polishing the framework of one the paintings near the stairwell when you heard an explosion. It was probably the kitchen again. Honestly, you had only had been working for the Earl Phantomhive for a month and the kitchen had been blown up twenty-three times already, all of which were Bard’s fault.

Bard is a self-proclaimed chef, whom cooking had been known to kill many, at least that’s how you looked at it. Actually, so far his cooking hadn’t harmed anyone yet, but that’s because no one had the guts to eat it. Or it was that they had the brains to not eat any of his so called dishes. However, his cooking isn’t the only creations he made that were deadly, he has what he calls his ‘babies’, customized guns or artillery.

Mey-rin is a maid, like you. However, unlike you, she tends to break things, a lot. You didn’t even bother to count the total number of things she had broke, or how many times she had broke something. She, like Bard, prefers guns as a weapon. Mey-rin was a long-range shooter, whist you really didn’t cared where your target is located.

Finny’s the gardener and extremely sweet and nice to everyone. Unless if you are one of the bushes, but at the rate Finny’s going at it, if you are one of the Phantomhive bushes, you’re going to end up in flames. Just like all the thousands of bushes previous. You seriously felt bad for the bushes, you won’t like being burned alive either, not that they could feel it, but still.

Tanaka’s also one of the servants, you just didn’t know what he does, except for drinking tea and sitting on pillows. So far, you didn’t find drinking tea as a method of doing anything usefully, except for satisfying someone’s thirst.

And finally, Sebastian, the butler, the asshole, the guy that send you here in the first place, you could swear he wasn’t human. Because last time you checked, it doesn’t take a normal person to fix a completely destroyed kitchen in less than ten minutes, nor a completely annihilated garden.

You sighed as you finished wiping the non-existence dust off the framework. A part of you were glad that you became a maid, not living in fear of someone selling your identity. However, another, more stubborn part of you was still mad at Sebastian, for forcing you to be a maid, when you didn’t know the least about housework.

That wasn’t the only reason you distasted the butler. Unlike the other servants, whom you got along with pretty well, he was too perfect, flawless. You were, in the slightest, jealous of his abilities. While the rest of the servants idolized him, you absolutely hated his guts. And you were sure that the feeling was mutual, Sebastian always somehow enjoyed giving you the worst chores along with the pointless ones. Due to that fact, you barely got any breaks.

But this time, Sebastian hadn’t showed up yet. Smiling, you speed walked toward the kitchen where you knew Bard must be, judging the explosion from just the moment before. You glanced at the scorched doorway before scrolling in.

“Oi, Bardd~”

“What do you want (Y/N)?” Bard walked out, rocking an afro hairstyle, a burnt cigarette hanging out of his mouth.

You stifled a laugh, or at least tried to, “How much times did I had to tell you that dynamite is not a cooking utensil?”

“I was sure that it would work this time…” Bard muttered, scratching his now afro hair, looking at the kitchen. “Maybe it was the way I held the dynamite was wrong… Or maybe it was because I didn’t use the fire thrower to light the dynamite.”

You sweatdropped, knowing it was useless trying to Bard out of his love for dynamite. It was a mystery how Bard’s still in one piece. Maybe he was immune to explosions by now, if so, it won’t surprise you.

“Again?”

Your shoulders tensed up when you heard the voice, and you turned around, fake smiling.

“Why, hello Sebastian.” You greeted the bastard, gritting your teeth as you were.

“Hello, (Y/N),” Sebastian smirked at you; “Since you’re here, I will guess that you finished?”

“What if I did?” Not good…

“The kitchen seems to need to patching up, I’m sure I can leave it to you right?” Sebastian’s smirk got bigger, if possible.

“Sure, of course you can.” ’Jackass’