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Published: 2013-10-20 20:27:25 +0000 UTC; Views: 483; Favourites: 19; Downloads: 0
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travel. travel to
12 different countries.
write about to the ones
you've never been to.
fall in love.
fall in hate.
fall in crippling
depression.
drink cheap coffee
live off caffeine
and cafes with
free wifi.
question everything and
everyone. never be a
sellout nor trust a soul
with your words.
be a disappointment.
dispirit everyone and
no one because you'll
never be good enough.
dream about fantastical
places filled with wonder.
twist them into nightmares
with raging beasts and cruelty.
never be happy.
rip apart your work.
love something then
loathe it back.
cry about your regrets
to anyone who won't
listen and ignore those
who care.
write about the same
person ad nauseum so
you become a wrinkle
in time instead.
find a way to make
everything more dramatic.
be a hypocrite, go against
your beliefs. deny it.
listen to shitty music.
claims it's your muse.
your soul. truly abore
it's existence in your privacy.
do not care too much.
do not care too little.
take others stories as
your own.
only then shall you
be thought of as great.
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Comments: 7
stalkerchick666 [2013-10-21 00:58:53 +0000 UTC]
Overall
Vision
Originality
Technique
Impact
I love the idea that you have going here. But I don't really like how little good you put in it. Writing is an absolutely wonderful thing but in this you don't make it seem so and your reasoning for doing so is not quite clear. Everything up until "Be a disappointment" is wonderful, just fantastic but after that it just doesn't do justice to writing, or how to be a writer. I think that adding more good to it and a little less negativity would have made this poem much better. Adding a little more visuals would have been great to. I didn't really see what you were trying to paint, and visuals make for better impact. I like the style you wrote in though.
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BookWormMK [2013-12-12 13:14:34 +0000 UTC]
This is a wonderful poem, very well written (but you've got two mistakes: at nauseum when it should be ad nauseum, ahore- not sure what it's supposed to be, but ahore is not an existing word).
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inkstaineddove In reply to BookWormMK [2013-12-13 04:11:24 +0000 UTC]
Thank you for pointing those out. I'll fix them right now.
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sevenofeleven [2013-10-23 22:52:46 +0000 UTC]
"dream about fantastical
places filled with wonder.
twist them into nightmares
with raging beasts and cruelty. "
This is a great part.
Now that I can do.
Cool poem.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
inkstaineddove In reply to intricately-ordinary [2013-10-22 01:30:10 +0000 UTC]
Oh my God, you don't know how much that means to me coming from you.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
intricately-ordinary In reply to inkstaineddove [2013-10-22 01:31:14 +0000 UTC]
it's fantastic! what I love most is the reality and honesty of it
👍: 0 ⏩: 0