HOME | DD

Description
All’s Fair

Chapter Eight: Over The Edge

    “It’s really rather cold out there this evening.” Kaiser growled to himself, shutting the front door and rubbing his hands together and blowing into them to warm them up, even though they were cold. “The next time you want the newspaper, you will have to go. I think the good sir at the stand is starting to get suspicious of me.”
    Sirra smiled and flopped over the armrest of the couch, holding her hands out like a child that was expecting a gift, her legs swinging slowly in the air. “Thank you, Kaisy. I will go out next time; you know I want to show off my new antennae.” Her smile turned into a giggle as Kaiser handed her the folded up paper that he had kept under his arm.
    His eyes wandered down to the product of his most wonderful creation yet. Sirra’s antennae had grown to her waist and her single soft curl had begun to spiral and curly-q-ed twice, a new reaction that Kaiser made note of in great detail. When the transformation had been complete, Kaiser had spent at least an hour examining the changes, the science-y side of him completely fascinated by the size and degree of the curl. That was, until Sirra had convinced him that he had done enough study and not enough testing.
    And oh, how Kaiser loved test runs.
    Sirra flipped open the paper and turned over on the couch, her antennae hit the floor as she rested the back of her head on the armrest. As she looked over the front page, her eyes fell upon the name she was so used to seeing on the front page. Sideos. She couldn’t help but crack a smile as she read about his latest spree, the most recent attempt to prove himself better than Kaiser.
    “I would have put this up on my wall before I got locked up.” She mused to herself quietly. Not quietly enough so that Kaiser couldn’t hear, though.
    Kaiser whipped his head around and tossed his coat onto the table, walking over to Sirra and snatching the paper out of her hands, a frown upon his face.
    “HEY!” She protested, grasping for the paper, but Kaiser held it well out of reach.
    His expression intensified and signs of anger were etched across his face. Unknowingly, signs of jealousy. Kaiser scoffed and threw the paper back down at Sirra. “’Put it up on your wall’.” He stormed towards the kitchen bar, grabbing a bottle of vodka and taking a large gulp. “That’s sick, praising that pathetic excuse for a maniac…there’s no need to feed his ego.”
    Sirra growled and flung the paper on the ground. “That was before I knew you! You had no idea that I had a crush on Sideos and Neep before you came along?” She stood up and followed Kaiser into the kitchen.
    Kaiser promptly spit out the vodka in his mouth when he heard the words ‘crush’ and ‘Sideos’ in the same sentence. He stared wildly at Sirra, a snarl creeping up upon his lips. “WAS!?” He was over come with the typical feeling whenever he heard about Sirra even mentioning another male, namely Sideos, it made his skin crawl and his insides burn, every bit of his mind wanted immediately close up and black out.
    “What’s the big deal?! And stop talking in your dialect!” Sirra demanded, becoming irritated Kaiser’s overactive jealousy-yes, Sirra dared to say jealousy-when Sideos came into question. “I said that was before I met you!”
    “I don’t care! Why do you even MENTION it when you know of my INSANE hatred for that IDIOTIC-?!”  Kaiser turned away from her, slamming the vodka bottle down so hard that it shattered. The alcohol spilled onto the counter and all down Kaiser’s front and shards from the bottle buried into his palm. “Schisse!” He cursed softly, running to the sink and picking the shards out as quickly as he could without whining.
    “What the hell is your problem, Kaiser?! Every time I even mention Sideos you go ballistic! If I reacted that way every time you mentioned your fucking precious Seventeen, you would have thrown me out of the house by now.”
    “I don’t even mention Seventeen NEARLY as many times as you mention that FILTHY creature. IN MEIN HOUSEHOLD!” Kaiser pointed to the floor to show that he owned at least the foundation of the house. “If you are going to mention him, then I should be able to freely talk about my former obsessions. Particularly after your little incident with my Seventeen collection in my lab, this is nothing. So my dear, what’s YOUR problem?”
    Sirra was taken aback a bit, but certainly wasn’t backing down. Not when that terrible bitch was mentioned. “NEVER?! You mention her all the time! You mentioned her when you were looking at my antennae!”
    “That’s because yours are different. They’re more feminine than Seventeen’s and I wasn’t expecting it is all.” Kaiser turned from her, opening the cabinet and pulling out a roll of gauze. He took note that he probably could do with stitches, but brushed it off. He had worse before and had managed without the use of needlework.
    “You say that like it’s a bad thing.” Sirra said slowly, not liking where Kaiser’s logic was going, especially not when she had decided to be one of his experiments just to please him, “Don’t you like the way my antennae turned out?”
    “Of course I do,” Kaiser growled at her without looking to her, “But just remember it was I who you got them for, not Sideos or anyone else.”
    “Oh, so now you’re saying I can’t show them off if I wish?” Sirra quickly sniped back, “You want me to dress in drapes as well? Huh? Maybe I should just stop trying to look pretty.” She clenched her fists and glared at Kaiser’s back, “I’ve got news for you Kaiser, you DO NOT own me!”
    “WHAT?!” Kaiser spun around to face her, his eyes lighting up in rage, “As your boyfriend I own at least SOME of you!”
    “Well don’t think it’s enough to control me!” Sirra screamed back, “I hate being ordered about just as much as you!”
    “You don’t complain in the bedroom,” Kaiser sneered back.
    Sirra’s eyes darkened, “There’s a difference between being beaten and tortured and being ordered about and controlled … and clearly you’re too stupid to realize that.”
    It was another one of those times when Kaiser truly wished he could hit Sirra but his hand was in too much pain to even try. He quickly pushed himself back into his trained reaction to when he was truly angry with Sirra and he turned to ignore her.
    Sirra knew what he was doing, and it predictably only made her even angrier. “FINE!” She turned on her heel and stomped towards the door, grabbing the keydrive to the voot cruiser and her coat from the coat rack. “See if I even come back to you tonight!”
    Kaiser turned on her, “FINE!” He could feel his throat becoming hoarse. “Go and run to Sideos, you WHORE!”
    “MAYBE I WILL!” Sirra screamed back, “At least HE’LL give me some DAMN FREEDOM.”
    She turned and slammed the door shut, leaving Kaiser to stand there, his eyes narrowed in pure anger at where Sirra had just been. It took him a few seconds to realize he was gripping his hand so tight into a fist that blood was dripping steadily from his recent wound.
    He sighed and turned back to bandaging his hand up. She’d be back, this was hardly the first time she’d stormed out like this, after all, they weren’t immune to relationship fights. It was always something like this, money or safety or some such matter.
    But she always came back, always.
    Kaiser allowed himself a small smile, his anger dropping slightly. When she got back, he’d have to teach her a lesson about arguing with him…
    Just like the other times.
~ <3 ~
    Sirra sat, cross-armed and frowning in the cruiser as the voot sped through hyperspace, jumping from one planet to the next at speeds one wouldn’t want to crash at.
    However, the female on board wasn’t thinking about that, she was thinking how horrible it was of Kaiser to simply try and control her life like that, to order her around like she was just some robot!
    Well, she sneered to herself, she’d show him that she could have fun without him. She’d show him that no matter how much he tried to control her she would always be in charge of her own fate!
    But still…her frown dropped as she thought about how even now she wished Kaiser was with her, to share in her fun. It seemed that nothing was as good as it used to be when she used to be alone…with Kaiser, everything in the universe just seemed that little bit more brighter and better and bodies seemed to spill more blood when they went out killing together.
    She shook her head, ignoring these feelings for now. Sirra knew she had to concentrate on punishing Kaiser by making him know she could have loads of fun and maybe a few murders without him before returning and having him take her back.
    A beeping on the dashboard of the ship drew her attention as she approaching the planet she’d been heading for. It was a planet situated at the end of the current solar system that Sirra and Kaiser lived within. It was an incredibly cold planet due to the distance from the solar system’s sun but that didn’t matter as long as one stayed within the huge bio-domes that were dotted about upon the planets surface.
    The ship automatically slowed and moved out of hyperspace and the planet exploded into Sirra’s view, and grew increasingly closer as the ship moved towards it.
    Sirra quickly took out her hacked passcard from her PAK and ran it through the computer on the voot. It would tell the bio-dome a long bunch of fake details and would trick the docking computer into letting her land without hassle. While it was true, irken security systems were all computerized and top of the line, it was also true that hackers and criminals were always rising to the challenge to beat them.
    It didn’t take long until Sirra was flying her voot through the buildings of Bio-Dome no5 looking for somewhere nice and quiet to cause a little chaos. Sirra and Kaiser often chose the more run down or quieter places to commit their killings. Mostly because it gave them more time to escape whenever they committed large killings, or if they were taking a prisoner back to torture, no one would notice the said person missing for at least a few days.
    So, when Sirra saw a small, dingy looking bar after flying at practically ground level, she immediately pulled over to stop. The place looked rather quiet, not quite run down, but nothing fancy either. It seemed like a great place to find some poor fool, drug him, rape him, kill him and leave before anyone could notice.
    The killer quickly checked her PAK for her usual mix of drugs and a spare gun, plus of course, some monies, some makeup and a patch in case she actually decided to rape someone and in her boots were concealed two knives, everything a girl needed for a good night out. She checked herself to make sure she looked presentable before stepping out the voot and making her way into the bar.
    The bar itself was a small, smoky kind of place while still being friendly enough to allow Sirra to move through the bar without too much notice. It wasn’t very crowded, but in the same way, it was far from empty. It was just another normal night for this bar, with a few groups of people sitting at tables talking, laughing and drinking.
    Up against a far wall, opposite the bar, was a large liquid-screen TV playing a music channel which also doubled as background music for the whole bar. Right now it was Boro and ‘Pride’ which was playing away with almost everyone ignoring the screen apart from those near to it.
   Sirra quickly settled down at the bar, ordered a fancy, rather girlish drink, and turned so she was leaning against the bar with her drink in her hand so she may scan the bar for anyone she might want to kill.
    To her dismay, the pickings seemed slim. Most of the irkens here seemed to be paired off with someone and the ones who weren’t were just not Sirra’s type, too big or bulky or fat. It may have been a little shallow of her but Sirra liked a guy who was strong and at least good-looking, after all, fat irkens made terrible drug-fueled rapists.
    She turned back to the bar with a depressed look, sighing into her glass. Maybe she shouldn’t bother with any raping tonight and just find someone to murder. Maybe not even that… she just felt like drinking a lot and being alone whilst she missed being with Kaiser, even if he was a vicious abusive psycho, he was still her vicious abusive psycho.
    She drained her glass and clunked it back onto the table, letting the alcohol swim down her throat and settle into her spoonch. In the background, she heard the door open but she didn’t bother to turn and look, she was too into her own world and sorrow to bother with anyone right now.
    She looked up to catch the eye of the bartender and raised her glass as he turned to her, however, before she could even ask for a re-fill, someone suddenly cut in front of her and waved a twenty-monie note in his hand.
    She would have punched his lights out, that is, until she heard his all too familiar voice, “Two shots of your finest whiskey!”
    Her eyes narrowed and her claws gripped her glass tight as she growled, “Sideos…”
    Sideos was dressed in a new, purple and black pinstripe suit with a different, violet and black waistcoat under his jacket and a pair of oddly smart looking shoes instead of his usual boots, Sirra reasoned he must have killed someone rich. Oddly however, Sideos’ skin seemed darker, as if lightly tanned and the deepness of his eyes seemed to be just a tiny bit lighter, however, the same darkness and insanity that danced in them was still there.
    The purpled eyed irken spun around in a look of mild shock before noticing whom he was standing next too. A big grin suddenly appeared on his face, flashing those terrible shark-like teeth, “Heeey! Sirreh! Fancy meeting you here.”
    Sirra quickly grimaced and looked around, “Not so loud your moron, people might recognize us!”
    Sideos rolled his eyes and waved a hand in front of her, “No they won’t. It’s the law of improbability.”
    Sirra raised an antennae in confusion. “What?”
   Sideos sighed and reached for his drink as the bartender set them down before him, “It’s the law of improbability. No one will believe we’re the real Sirrity and Sideos because the chances of the real Sirreb and Sideos being here are far too impossibly slim.”
    “Despite them being true,” Sirra couldn’t help but add as she crossed her arms. “How did you ever come up with a theory like that?”
    “I heard it on TV.” Sideos shrugged and he downed his first glass of whiskey in one go before shaking his head quickly at the taste and picking up the other glass.
    “Typical…” She couldn’t help but mutter in response as she turned her eyes back to the bartender and ordered herself another drink. Silently, she was angry with Sideos, mainly because he was the reason why she wasn’t spending the night in her Kaiser’s arms but at the same time, she wanted to talk to him just because she knew it’d anger Kaiser.
    Strange… she didn’t want to be with him, yet, she’d stick around him just to hurt the one she loved. Sirra shook her head at herself, she must be more insane than usual.
    After she’d gotten a new drink, she quickly hopped off her little seat and began walking over to the last table in the bar, one tucked away in the very back right corner. She didn’t care if Sideos followed her or not but, to her quiet surprise, he did.
    The moment he sat down he grinned slyly and meanly at the girl, “So, how’s Kaisee?”
    Sirra narrowed her eyes at the purpled eyed irken, “He’s doing fine… he’s not here because... he’s tired.” She wouldn’t tell him that they’d had a falling out over him, that’d just inflate his already overblown ego even more.
    Sideos chuckled to himself and didn’t ask any further, but somehow, Sirra was sure he knew that they’d had an argument and it only flamed her growing anger at him.
    She decided to change the subject before he could ask anything further, “Have you heard anything about Neep?” There was a small honesty in the question; after all, she was interested in knowing what Neep had done with himself after the escape.
    Sideos shrugged and took a small gulp of his drink, “Last I heard he was on some planet somewhere working in a factory… apparently with some girl as well.”
    Sirra’s eyes widened in surprise, “Really?” She almost laughed at the image of Neep doing hard labor with some uncultured drone girl hanging from his arm.
    “Yeah, but don’t count me on that,” Sideos nodded and set his drink back down while crossing his long thin legs, “I also heard he’d joined some Resisty splinter cell and changed his gender.” At this, the insane irken laughed loudly, “Could you imagine that! Neep as a girl!”
    “Please, don’t, it’s too ugly,” Sirra giggled in response as she continued to drink her alcohol.
    For the next hour or so, the two irkens talked about, well, whatever it is that came to mind while a myriad of songs placed in the background. Sideos talked a lot about his killings of Resisty bases and terrorists, as well as just large groups of people that he didn’t like. Sirra talked about the outrageous prices of knives and healing materials and chemicals, even from illegal places.
    However, as the convocation went on, so did the drinking and slowly, Sirra’s tongue began to loosen. “You know, something’s always bothered me about you Sid,” She leaned back in her chair and bit her lip before asking, “Why is someone as good looking as you asexual?”
    “Because,” Sideos replied with a slight annoyance to his tone, “That’s why. I just am, it’s my style, its how I roll.”
    “Well it’s a stupid style,” Sirra drunkenly, “You should find yourself a nice girl and settle down.”
    Sideos literally recoiled in horror, “What?! Are you-“ He paused to think of something other than ‘mad’, “…Very stupid?”
    Sirra shook her head in drunken disbelief, “You should! I bet lots of girls like you.”
    Sideos laughed, “And I’m sure I’d rip them up!” He suddenly leaned back further, “But there was that one girly… Zikko or Zikker or something… She was nice.”
    Sirra instantly sobered as she headed this name and, with a new coldness, she asked, “You mean Zikki?”
    “Yea!” Sideos nodded quickly, “She said something about knowing Kaiser and hating you and being on my side, although I can’t remember when she said this,” He paused a moment in thought before giving up and continuing, “But she was hardly my type, you know, since I don’t have one. Maybe if she went insane or something she’d be more interesting but again I’d never go out with her, or anyone for that matter, dating is for sexuals.”
    Sirra was furious, more furious than she was even when she’d argued with Kaiser. The fact that not only had Sideos called Zikki ‘nice’, he’d also mentioned how she hated her and how she was on his side.
    What was it with Sideos and managing to make everyone around him hate him intensely with almost no effort?
    “Yea, I can see you copied her antennae style as well,” Sideos added, casting an eye over the girl’s long antennae, “Or did Kaiby make you do that? He should move on,” Sideos waved a hand in the air, ignorant of Sirra’s almost consuming rage, “He needs to get himself a new thing, new styles, he’s the most un-fashionable person I’ve ever met.”
    Sirra’s hands slowly curled into fists beneath the table. He’d just insulted her more deeply than he even knew. Right now, she wanted nothing more than to cause this egotistical moron serious amounts of pain. She wanted to humiliate him, not just for herself, but for Kaiser… she’d present it as her returning present.
    Sideos continued drunkenly, not even seeing the murderous look in Sirra’s ruby eyes. “Kaisy-boy is too proud of himself as well, and in denial, he should just admit how far more amazing and vicious and just all-round better I am than he is.” He sat right back into his seat and stretched his whole body like a cat, “And then he goes and makes you look like that Seventeen girl? I have no idea why you put up with his pathetic ass. “
    Sirra smiled. She smiled because she knew exactly what she was going to do to Sideos. She was going to ruin his life, she was going to destroy everything he stood for, she was going to humiliate him in a way that he’d never recover from.
    She was going to slip drugs into his drink and watch him mindlessly throw away his precious asexuality.
    All Sirra needed was a way to distract him long enough to drug him…
    Standing up suddenly, the killer grinned and asked, “Sid, do you want another drink?”
    “I’ll buy my own drinks,” Sideos replied, narrowing his eyes at his fellow mass murderer, “I don’t let anyone buy me drinks unless I can see them being poured.”
    “Oh completely understandable,” Sirra smiled sweetly back, “So what if we go get the drinks together?”
    Sideos seemed to contemplate this for a moment before nodding, “Alright then,” And he heaved himself up from his sitting position, wobbling slightly from the alcohol now streaming though his blood.
    Sirra did the same, following the over-confident irken to the bar while he continued jabbering about how he was such an amazing drinker. Sirra wasn’t listening, all she could think about was how she was about to score the single greatest victory over Sideos than anyone had ever done before.
    The drinks were ordered with Sirra ordering the same thing as her enemy, after all, it was all part of her amazing plan. Sideos complained a little about the price of such drinks, even when he wasn’t paying.
    Sirra watched as Sideos took a gulp of his whiskey, as she needed to make sure she at least drank the same amount and she turned to look at the TV screen as he put his glass down. For a second, Sirra couldn’t believe her good luck, but then she quickly took advantage of it, “Hey, Sid, look!” She pointed over to the TV, “Zimadonna’s on!”
    As ‘True Blue’ began to play from the speakers around them, Sideos’s attention was immediately drawn to his musical obsession and a huge, happy grin appeared on his face. He immediately squeaked and probably even forgot Sirra was in the room as he began singing along… dreadfully.
    Trying not to wince and suppressing the urge to move away and tell everyone she didn’t know this weirdo, Sirra quickly reached into her PAK and drew out two small white capsules, her drugs of choice, and quickly dropped them into her own drink, letting them fizzle and vanish in the alcohol. She grinned viciously, this was it, the trap was set and the lust-daemons that were waiting in her drink would soon be unleashed upon the one person who had sworn himself away from all that they stood for.
    ‘Irony is the best way to punish the stupid.’ Sirra thought as she looked up to the still singing maniac, however, she paused as she reminded herself to write that down somewhere, it was a rather good saying.
    The song ended and the video channel went into a commercial break, advertising some new voot or something, nobody was even watching.
    Sideos immediately turned and grinned at Sirra like a smeet who’d gotten a sweet. “I love that song, it’s so deep and meaningful and… and great! It’s like it’s almost about me!”
    Sirra rolled her eyes, “You know if your head was any bigger you’d be dragging it on the floor.”
    Sideos wasn’t listening, or if he was, he ignored her, “I wish I’d got to go see her last show before her hiatus…” He frowned, “I can’t believe she just got up and left like that! She’s Zimadonna for crying out loud, you know,” He sighed loudly, “She better be writing something amazing for when she returns, which I know she is doing cos you know… she’s Zimadonna.”
    “Whatever,” Sirra waved a hand and poked the side of Sideos’s drink, subtly drawing attention to it, “Come on, drink up, I’m getting bored of this place.”
    “Oooh, a pub crawl!” Sideos grinned, “Great idea!” He quickly grabbed his glass and went to drink up, but he stopped just as the glass reached his lips. “Wait…”
    His eyes narrowed at the glass and he slowly drew it away from his mouth. “Wait…” He narrowed his eyes at Sirra, “What’ve you done to it?”
    “Oh what now?” the rapist-killer replied, putting her on her best possible acting, “You’re developing paranoia now are you?”
    “You’ve done something to my drink…” He slammed it down and snarled, “Don’t think I don’t know. I spend seventy years in a white hell with you so I know that you wouldn’t miss an opportunity like this to try and humiliate me.”
    “Yes, that’s it completely.” Sirra rolled her eyes, keeping up with her act. It was an odd game of admitting and yet, not admitting. She had to make sure he bought her sarcasm and didn’t catch on to the fact that he was right.
    Otherwise, not only would Sirra most likely be attacked, she’d never hear the end of his gloating.
    “Therefore,” Sideos continued, “I should have your drink,” and in the blink of an eye Sirra’s drink had left her hand and was now in Sideos’s. Sirra couldn’t help but be amazed, it’d always impressed how damn fast Sideos was. Even though he gloated about being the best, it wasn’t like he didn’t have the skills to back up his claim.
    However, Sirra smiled inside as she thought on how Kaiser would always be stronger and better than Sideos could ever be, especially after tonight.
    Sideos again raised the drink to his lips, and Sirra had to fight back her victorious expression, however, he stopped again. “Wait… what if you drugged your drink knowing that I’d think you drugged my drink and that I’d take your drink?”
    Sirra had to think fast, and luckily, it was times like this that her cunning truly showed, “What if I drugged your drink knowing you’d think my drink was drugged but also knowing you’d take my drink and then realize you’d think my drink was drugged in order to make you think your drink wasn’t drugged when in fact it was your drink that was drugged.”
    Sideos blinked… and slowly frowned as he tried to think on the matter. Sirra was silently praying that his mind was already too full of alcohol to understand what she’d just said.
    “…I think I need a drink,” And with that, Sideos gulped down the drink in his hand and with it, the deadly concoction within.

Description
All’s Fair

Chapter Eight: Over The Edge

    “It’s really rather cold out there this evening.” Kaiser growled to himself, shutting the front door and rubbing his hands together and blowing into them to warm them up, even though they were cold. “The next time you want the newspaper, you will have to go. I think the good sir at the stand is starting to get suspicious of me.”
    Sirra smiled and flopped over the armrest of the couch, holding her hands out like a child that was expecting a gift, her legs swinging slowly in the air. “Thank you, Kaisy. I will go out next time; you know I want to show off my new antennae.” Her smile turned into a giggle as Kaiser handed her the folded up paper that he had kept under his arm.
    His eyes wandered down to the product of his most wonderful creation yet. Sirra’s antennae had grown to her waist and her single soft curl had begun to spiral and curly-q-ed twice, a new reaction that Kaiser made note of in great detail. When the transformation had been complete, Kaiser had spent at least an hour examining the changes, the science-y side of him completely fascinated by the size and degree of the curl. That was, until Sirra had convinced him that he had done enough study and not enough testing.
    And oh, how Kaiser loved test runs.
    Sirra flipped open the paper and turned over on the couch, her antennae hit the floor as she rested the back of her head on the armrest. As she looked over the front page, her eyes fell upon the name she was so used to seeing on the front page. Sideos. She couldn’t help but crack a smile as she read about his latest spree, the most recent attempt to prove himself better than Kaiser.
    “I would have put this up on my wall before I got locked up.” She mused to herself quietly. Not quietly enough so that Kaiser couldn’t hear, though.
    Kaiser whipped his head around and tossed his coat onto the table, walking over to Sirra and snatching the paper out of her hands, a frown upon his face.
    “HEY!” She protested, grasping for the paper, but Kaiser held it well out of reach.
    His expression intensified and signs of anger were etched across his face. Unknowingly, signs of jealousy. Kaiser scoffed and threw the paper back down at Sirra. “’Put it up on your wall’.” He stormed towards the kitchen bar, grabbing a bottle of vodka and taking a large gulp. “That’s sick, praising that pathetic excuse for a maniac…there’s no need to feed his ego.”
    Sirra growled and flung the paper on the ground. “That was before I knew you! You had no idea that I had a crush on Sideos and Neep before you came along?” She stood up and followed Kaiser into the kitchen.
    Kaiser promptly spit out the vodka in his mouth when he heard the words ‘crush’ and ‘Sideos’ in the same sentence. He stared wildly at Sirra, a snarl creeping up upon his lips. “WAS!?” He was over come with the typical feeling whenever he heard about Sirra even mentioning another male, namely Sideos, it made his skin crawl and his insides burn, every bit of his mind wanted immediately close up and black out.
    “What’s the big deal?! And stop talking in your dialect!” Sirra demanded, becoming irritated Kaiser’s overactive jealousy-yes, Sirra dared to say jealousy-when Sideos came into question. “I said that was before I met you!”
    “I don’t care! Why do you even MENTION it when you know of my INSANE hatred for that IDIOTIC-?!”  Kaiser turned away from her, slamming the vodka bottle down so hard that it shattered. The alcohol spilled onto the counter and all down Kaiser’s front and shards from the bottle buried into his palm. “Schisse!” He cursed softly, running to the sink and picking the shards out as quickly as he could without whining.
    “What the hell is your problem, Kaiser?! Every time I even mention Sideos you go ballistic! If I reacted that way every time you mentioned your fucking precious Seventeen, you would have thrown me out of the house by now.”
    “I don’t even mention Seventeen NEARLY as many times as you mention that FILTHY creature. IN MEIN HOUSEHOLD!” Kaiser pointed to the floor to show that he owned at least the foundation of the house. “If you are going to mention him, then I should be able to freely talk about my former obsessions. Particularly after your little incident with my Seventeen collection in my lab, this is nothing. So my dear, what’s YOUR problem?”
    Sirra was taken aback a bit, but certainly wasn’t backing down. Not when that terrible bitch was mentioned. “NEVER?! You mention her all the time! You mentioned her when you were looking at my antennae!”
    “That’s because yours are different. They’re more feminine than Seventeen’s and I wasn’t expecting it is all.” Kaiser turned from her, opening the cabinet and pulling out a roll of gauze. He took note that he probably could do with stitches, but brushed it off. He had worse before and had managed without the use of needlework.
    “You say that like it’s a bad thing.” Sirra said slowly, not liking where Kaiser’s logic was going, especially not when she had decided to be one of his experiments just to please him, “Don’t you like the way my antennae turned out?”
    “Of course I do,” Kaiser growled at her without looking to her, “But just remember it was I who you got them for, not Sideos or anyone else.”
    “Oh, so now you’re saying I can’t show them off if I wish?” Sirra quickly sniped back, “You want me to dress in drapes as well? Huh? Maybe I should just stop trying to look pretty.” She clenched her fists and glared at Kaiser’s back, “I’ve got news for you Kaiser, you DO NOT own me!”
    “WHAT?!” Kaiser spun around to face her, his eyes lighting up in rage, “As your boyfriend I own at least SOME of you!”
    “Well don’t think it’s enough to control me!” Sirra screamed back, “I hate being ordered about just as much as you!”
    “You don’t complain in the bedroom,” Kaiser sneered back.
    Sirra’s eyes darkened, “There’s a difference between being beaten and tortured and being ordered about and controlled … and clearly you’re too stupid to realize that.”
    It was another one of those times when Kaiser truly wished he could hit Sirra but his hand was in too much pain to even try. He quickly pushed himself back into his trained reaction to when he was truly angry with Sirra and he turned to ignore her.
    Sirra knew what he was doing, and it predictably only made her even angrier. “FINE!” She turned on her heel and stomped towards the door, grabbing the keydrive to the voot cruiser and her coat from the coat rack. “See if I even come back to you tonight!”
    Kaiser turned on her, “FINE!” He could feel his throat becoming hoarse. “Go and run to Sideos, you WHORE!”
    “MAYBE I WILL!” Sirra screamed back, “At least HE’LL give me some DAMN FREEDOM.”
    She turned and slammed the door shut, leaving Kaiser to stand there, his eyes narrowed in pure anger at where Sirra had just been. It took him a few seconds to realize he was gripping his hand so tight into a fist that blood was dripping steadily from his recent wound.
    He sighed and turned back to bandaging his hand up. She’d be back, this was hardly the first time she’d stormed out like this, after all, they weren’t immune to relationship fights. It was always something like this, money or safety or some such matter.
    But she always came back, always.
    Kaiser allowed himself a small smile, his anger dropping slightly. When she got back, he’d have to teach her a lesson about arguing with him…
    Just like the other times.
~ <3 ~
    Sirra sat, cross-armed and frowning in the cruiser as the voot sped through hyperspace, jumping from one planet to the next at speeds one wouldn’t want to crash at.
    However, the female on board wasn’t thinking about that, she was thinking how horrible it was of Kaiser to simply try and control her life like that, to order her around like she was just some robot!
    Well, she sneered to herself, she’d show him that she could have fun without him. She’d show him that no matter how much he tried to control her she would always be in charge of her own fate!
    But still…her frown dropped as she thought about how even now she wished Kaiser was with her, to share in her fun. It seemed that nothing was as good as it used to be when she used to be alone…with Kaiser, everything in the universe just seemed that little bit more brighter and better and bodies seemed to spill more blood when they went out killing together.
    She shook her head, ignoring these feelings for now. Sirra knew she had to concentrate on punishing Kaiser by making him know she could have loads of fun and maybe a few murders without him before returning and having him take her back.
    A beeping on the dashboard of the ship drew her attention as she approaching the planet she’d been heading for. It was a planet situated at the end of the current solar system that Sirra and Kaiser lived within. It was an incredibly cold planet due to the distance from the solar system’s sun but that didn’t matter as long as one stayed within the huge bio-domes that were dotted about upon the planets surface.
    The ship automatically slowed and moved out of hyperspace and the planet exploded into Sirra’s view, and grew increasingly closer as the ship moved towards it.
    Sirra quickly took out her hacked passcard from her PAK and ran it through the computer on the voot. It would tell the bio-dome a long bunch of fake details and would trick the docking computer into letting her land without hassle. While it was true, irken security systems were all computerized and top of the line, it was also true that hackers and criminals were always rising to the challenge to beat them.
    It didn’t take long until Sirra was flying her voot through the buildings of Bio-Dome no5 looking for somewhere nice and quiet to cause a little chaos. Sirra and Kaiser often chose the more run down or quieter places to commit their killings. Mostly because it gave them more time to escape whenever they committed large killings, or if they were taking a prisoner back to torture, no one would notice the said person missing for at least a few days.
    So, when Sirra saw a small, dingy looking bar after flying at practically ground level, she immediately pulled over to stop. The place looked rather quiet, not quite run down, but nothing fancy either. It seemed like a great place to find some poor fool, drug him, rape him, kill him and leave before anyone could notice.
    The killer quickly checked her PAK for her usual mix of drugs and a spare gun, plus of course, some monies, some makeup and a patch in case she actually decided to rape someone and in her boots were concealed two knives, everything a girl needed for a good night out. She checked herself to make sure she looked presentable before stepping out the voot and making her way into the bar.
    The bar itself was a small, smoky kind of place while still being friendly enough to allow Sirra to move through the bar without too much notice. It wasn’t very crowded, but in the same way, it was far from empty. It was just another normal night for this bar, with a few groups of people sitting at tables talking, laughing and drinking.
    Up against a far wall, opposite the bar, was a large liquid-screen TV playing a music channel which also doubled as background music for the whole bar. Right now it was Boro and ‘Pride’ which was playing away with almost everyone ignoring the screen apart from those near to it.
   Sirra quickly settled down at the bar, ordered a fancy, rather girlish drink, and turned so she was leaning against the bar with her drink in her hand so she may scan the bar for anyone she might want to kill.
    To her dismay, the pickings seemed slim. Most of the irkens here seemed to be paired off with someone and the ones who weren’t were just not Sirra’s type, too big or bulky or fat. It may have been a little shallow of her but Sirra liked a guy who was strong and at least good-looking, after all, fat irkens made terrible drug-fueled rapists.
    She turned back to the bar with a depressed look, sighing into her glass. Maybe she shouldn’t bother with any raping tonight and just find someone to murder. Maybe not even that… she just felt like drinking a lot and being alone whilst she missed being with Kaiser, even if he was a vicious abusive psycho, he was still her vicious abusive psycho.
    She drained her glass and clunked it back onto the table, letting the alcohol swim down her throat and settle into her spoonch. In the background, she heard the door open but she didn’t bother to turn and look, she was too into her own world and sorrow to bother with anyone right now.
    She looked up to catch the eye of the bartender and raised her glass as he turned to her, however, before she could even ask for a re-fill, someone suddenly cut in front of her and waved a twenty-monie note in his hand.
    She would have punched his lights out, that is, until she heard his all too familiar voice, “Two shots of your finest whiskey!”
    Her eyes narrowed and her claws gripped her glass tight as she growled, “Sideos…”
    Sideos was dressed in a new, purple and black pinstripe suit with a different, violet and black waistcoat under his jacket and a pair of oddly smart looking shoes instead of his usual boots, Sirra reasoned he must have killed someone rich. Oddly however, Sideos’ skin seemed darker, as if lightly tanned and the deepness of his eyes seemed to be just a tiny bit lighter, however, the same darkness and insanity that danced in them was still there.
    The purpled eyed irken spun around in a look of mild shock before noticing whom he was standing next too. A big grin suddenly appeared on his face, flashing those terrible shark-like teeth, “Heeey! Sirreh! Fancy meeting you here.”
    Sirra quickly grimaced and looked around, “Not so loud your moron, people might recognize us!”
    Sideos rolled his eyes and waved a hand in front of her, “No they won’t. It’s the law of improbability.”
    Sirra raised an antennae in confusion. “What?”
   Sideos sighed and reached for his drink as the bartender set them down before him, “It’s the law of improbability. No one will believe we’re the real Sirrity and Sideos because the chances of the real Sirreb and Sideos being here are far too impossibly slim.”
    “Despite them being true,” Sirra couldn’t help but add as she crossed her arms. “How did you ever come up with a theory like that?”
    “I heard it on TV.” Sideos shrugged and he downed his first glass of whiskey in one go before shaking his head quickly at the taste and picking up the other glass.
    “Typical…” She couldn’t help but mutter in response as she turned her eyes back to the bartender and ordered herself another drink. Silently, she was angry with Sideos, mainly because he was the reason why she wasn’t spending the night in her Kaiser’s arms but at the same time, she wanted to talk to him just because she knew it’d anger Kaiser.
    Strange… she didn’t want to be with him, yet, she’d stick around him just to hurt the one she loved. Sirra shook her head at herself, she must be more insane than usual.
    After she’d gotten a new drink, she quickly hopped off her little seat and began walking over to the last table in the bar, one tucked away in the very back right corner. She didn’t care if Sideos followed her or not but, to her quiet surprise, he did.
    The moment he sat down he grinned slyly and meanly at the girl, “So, how’s Kaisee?”
    Sirra narrowed her eyes at the purpled eyed irken, “He’s doing fine… he’s not here because... he’s tired.” She wouldn’t tell him that they’d had a falling out over him, that’d just inflate his already overblown ego even more.
    Sideos chuckled to himself and didn’t ask any further, but somehow, Sirra was sure he knew that they’d had an argument and it only flamed her growing anger at him.
    She decided to change the subject before he could ask anything further, “Have you heard anything about Neep?” There was a small honesty in the question; after all, she was interested in knowing what Neep had done with himself after the escape.
    Sideos shrugged and took a small gulp of his drink, “Last I heard he was on some planet somewhere working in a factory… apparently with some girl as well.”
    Sirra’s eyes widened in surprise, “Really?” She almost laughed at the image of Neep doing hard labor with some uncultured drone girl hanging from his arm.
    “Yeah, but don’t count me on that,” Sideos nodded and set his drink back down while crossing his long thin legs, “I also heard he’d joined some Resisty splinter cell and changed his gender.” At this, the insane irken laughed loudly, “Could you imagine that! Neep as a girl!”
    “Please, don’t, it’s too ugly,” Sirra giggled in response as she continued to drink her alcohol.
    For the next hour or so, the two irkens talked about, well, whatever it is that came to mind while a myriad of songs placed in the background. Sideos talked a lot about his killings of Resisty bases and terrorists, as well as just large groups of people that he didn’t like. Sirra talked about the outrageous prices of knives and healing materials and chemicals, even from illegal places.
    However, as the convocation went on, so did the drinking and slowly, Sirra’s tongue began to loosen. “You know, something’s always bothered me about you Sid,” She leaned back in her chair and bit her lip before asking, “Why is someone as good looking as you asexual?”
    “Because,” Sideos replied with a slight annoyance to his tone, “That’s why. I just am, it’s my style, its how I roll.”
    “Well it’s a stupid style,” Sirra drunkenly, “You should find yourself a nice girl and settle down.”
    Sideos literally recoiled in horror, “What?! Are you-“ He paused to think of something other than ‘mad’, “…Very stupid?”
    Sirra shook her head in drunken disbelief, “You should! I bet lots of girls like you.”
    Sideos laughed, “And I’m sure I’d rip them up!” He suddenly leaned back further, “But there was that one girly… Zikko or Zikker or something… She was nice.”
    Sirra instantly sobered as she headed this name and, with a new coldness, she asked, “You mean Zikki?”
    “Yea!” Sideos nodded quickly, “She said something about knowing Kaiser and hating you and being on my side, although I can’t remember when she said this,” He paused a moment in thought before giving up and continuing, “But she was hardly my type, you know, since I don’t have one. Maybe if she went insane or something she’d be more interesting but again I’d never go out with her, or anyone for that matter, dating is for sexuals.”
    Sirra was furious, more furious than she was even when she’d argued with Kaiser. The fact that not only had Sideos called Zikki ‘nice’, he’d also mentioned how she hated her and how she was on his side.
    What was it with Sideos and managing to make everyone around him hate him intensely with almost no effort?
    “Yea, I can see you copied her antennae style as well,” Sideos added, casting an eye over the girl’s long antennae, “Or did Kaiby make you do that? He should move on,” Sideos waved a hand in the air, ignorant of Sirra’s almost consuming rage, “He needs to get himself a new thing, new styles, he’s the most un-fashionable person I’ve ever met.”
    Sirra’s hands slowly curled into fists beneath the table. He’d just insulted her more deeply than he even knew. Right now, she wanted nothing more than to cause this egotistical moron serious amounts of pain. She wanted to humiliate him, not just for herself, but for Kaiser… she’d present it as her returning present.
    Sideos continued drunkenly, not even seeing the murderous look in Sirra’s ruby eyes. “Kaisy-boy is too proud of himself as well, and in denial, he should just admit how far more amazing and vicious and just all-round better I am than he is.” He sat right back into his seat and stretched his whole body like a cat, “And then he goes and makes you look like that Seventeen girl? I have no idea why you put up with his pathetic ass. “
    Sirra smiled. She smiled because she knew exactly what she was going to do to Sideos. She was going to ruin his life, she was going to destroy everything he stood for, she was going to humiliate him in a way that he’d never recover from.
    She was going to slip drugs into his drink and watch him mindlessly throw away his precious asexuality.
    All Sirra needed was a way to distract him long enough to drug him…
    Standing up suddenly, the killer grinned and asked, “Sid, do you want another drink?”
    “I’ll buy my own drinks,” Sideos replied, narrowing his eyes at his fellow mass murderer, “I don’t let anyone buy me drinks unless I can see them being poured.”
    “Oh completely understandable,” Sirra smiled sweetly back, “So what if we go get the drinks together?”
    Sideos seemed to contemplate this for a moment before nodding, “Alright then,” And he heaved himself up from his sitting position, wobbling slightly from the alcohol now streaming though his blood.
    Sirra did the same, following the over-confident irken to the bar while he continued jabbering about how he was such an amazing drinker. Sirra wasn’t listening, all she could think about was how she was about to score the single greatest victory over Sideos than anyone had ever done before.
    The drinks were ordered with Sirra ordering the same thing as her enemy, after all, it was all part of her amazing plan. Sideos complained a little about the price of such drinks, even when he wasn’t paying.
    Sirra watched as Sideos took a gulp of his whiskey, as she needed to make sure she at least drank the same amount and she turned to look at the TV screen as he put his glass down. For a second, Sirra couldn’t believe her good luck, but then she quickly took advantage of it, “Hey, Sid, look!” She pointed over to the TV, “Zimadonna’s on!”
    As ‘True Blue’ began to play from the speakers around them, Sideos’s attention was immediately drawn to his musical obsession and a huge, happy grin appeared on his face. He immediately squeaked and probably even forgot Sirra was in the room as he began singing along… dreadfully.
    Trying not to wince and suppressing the urge to move away and tell everyone she didn’t know this weirdo, Sirra quickly reached into her PAK and drew out two small white capsules, her drugs of choice, and quickly dropped them into her own drink, letting them fizzle and vanish in the alcohol. She grinned viciously, this was it, the trap was set and the lust-daemons that were waiting in her drink would soon be unleashed upon the one person who had sworn himself away from all that they stood for.
    ‘Irony is the best way to punish the stupid.’ Sirra thought as she looked up to the still singing maniac, however, she paused as she reminded herself to write that down somewhere, it was a rather good saying.
    The song ended and the video channel went into a commercial break, advertising some new voot or something, nobody was even watching.
    Sideos immediately turned and grinned at Sirra like a smeet who’d gotten a sweet. “I love that song, it’s so deep and meaningful and… and great! It’s like it’s almost about me!”
    Sirra rolled her eyes, “You know if your head was any bigger you’d be dragging it on the floor.”
    Sideos wasn’t listening, or if he was, he ignored her, “I wish I’d got to go see her last show before her hiatus…” He frowned, “I can’t believe she just got up and left like that! She’s Zimadonna for crying out loud, you know,” He sighed loudly, “She better be writing something amazing for when she returns, which I know she is doing cos you know… she’s Zimadonna.”
    “Whatever,” Sirra waved a hand and poked the side of Sideos’s drink, subtly drawing attention to it, “Come on, drink up, I’m getting bored of this place.”
    “Oooh, a pub crawl!” Sideos grinned, “Great idea!” He quickly grabbed his glass and went to drink up, but he stopped just as the glass reached his lips. “Wait…”
    His eyes narrowed at the glass and he slowly drew it away from his mouth. “Wait…” He narrowed his eyes at Sirra, “What’ve you done to it?”
    “Oh what now?” the rapist-killer replied, putting her on her best possible acting, “You’re developing paranoia now are you?”
    “You’ve done something to my drink…” He slammed it down and snarled, “Don’t think I don’t know. I spend seventy years in a white hell with you so I know that you wouldn’t miss an opportunity like this to try and humiliate me.”
    “Yes, that’s it completely.” Sirra rolled her eyes, keeping up with her act. It was an odd game of admitting and yet, not admitting. She had to make sure he bought her sarcasm and didn’t catch on to the fact that he was right.
    Otherwise, not only would Sirra most likely be attacked, she’d never hear the end of his gloating.
    “Therefore,” Sideos continued, “I should have your drink,” and in the blink of an eye Sirra’s drink had left her hand and was now in Sideos’s. Sirra couldn’t help but be amazed, it’d always impressed how damn fast Sideos was. Even though he gloated about being the best, it wasn’t like he didn’t have the skills to back up his claim.
    However, Sirra smiled inside as she thought on how Kaiser would always be stronger and better than Sideos could ever be, especially after tonight.
    Sideos again raised the drink to his lips, and Sirra had to fight back her victorious expression, however, he stopped again. “Wait… what if you drugged your drink knowing that I’d think you drugged my drink and that I’d take your drink?”
    Sirra had to think fast, and luckily, it was times like this that her cunning truly showed, “What if I drugged your drink knowing you’d think my drink was drugged but also knowing you’d take my drink and then realize you’d think my drink was drugged in order to make you think your drink wasn’t drugged when in fact it was your drink that was drugged.”
    Sideos blinked… and slowly frowned as he tried to think on the matter. Sirra was silently praying that his mind was already too full of alcohol to understand what she’d just said.
    “…I think I need a drink,” And with that, Sideos gulped down the drink in his hand and with it, the deadly concoction within.