HOME | DD

Description
    To meet a band that defines a generation is a truly honourable thing indeed. Not to mention rather daunting. But, as I pulled up to the massive space cruiser, the Interstella 5555, I felt a huge, almost overwhelming sense that whatever expectations I had about them would be both granted and cast aside. Yenazhi as a band seem to do everything together. Not one of them alone has done an interview or their own concert, not even sponsored their own instruments. Perhaps this is to keep the outside from breaking whatever magic holds the group at their, currently, No.1 spot in the rock charts. Past secrets and scandals have ended the careers of other promising bands, and the deep personal privacy of the group have given them both an aura of mystery and deep respect from their surly billion-strong fans. In a universe were we know the every breath of our most audacious celebrities, the suspenseful yet tranquil silence of Yenazhi's personal lives has been a breath of fresh air and stops them, as the kids say, from 'selling out'.
    Yenazhi are a band which seem to have arrived at just the right time. The younger generation of our race is a source of constant anger to their elders. They strongly support the ending of the campaign, the ending of serfdom and slavery and rights to anyone within our empire's boarders. They are perhaps the first generation to know how some of our own planets are being left far behind in terms of living standards and they want something to be done about it. The mouthpiece for this desire for change and progression from the old ways has molded itself perfectly in the form of Yenazhi. Yet, Yenazhi’s political side is met with an another, dealing with personal issues and often finished with songs of myth and fantasy, all of this preformed with music and showmanship unseen in bands before.
    Perhaps their only rival in this area is Zip, the famous pop star Zimadonna’s son, however, it is well known that he and Yenazhi are close and they have done many tours together with even a personal thanks to Zip given on the last Yenazhi album Rifle which sold over forty billion copies in the first week, making it the fastest selling album of all time.
    Again, to interview such a band is a very honourable thing indeed.

    Their personal butler leads me to the main room in which I'd interview them in, and what a room it is. If one could purify rock and roll this would be it. Bottles lie everywhere, there are used patches lying about and collapsed on the floor were some half naked (and some fully naked) sleeping groupies of both sexes, hinting to of course Kash's infamous bisexuality. The air was thick with the smell of beer, vomit and drugs. It was the ultimate rocker’s ship.
    Sitting on a huge circular couch which spanned the walls of the room, only breaking to lead into the nearby corridors, were the band members. Bello, the drummer of the band who has done much to influence the fantasy and epic sound of the band; Lars, who's passion and fury on the guitar gives the band it's speed and energy; Zii Zii, who's radical, almost freestyle form of bass playing gives the band both it's original playing style and creativity with sound; Kline who's melodious, harmonic and yet energetic style of celloline playing and songwriting has contributed greatly to Yenazhi's success; and of course, the lead singer and guitarist, Kash. This mysterious young irken’s cocky and theatrical stage presence and shrouded mysterious personal life has drawn in fans from across the universe. Between them, they each hold an entire generation of listeners, united across planets and even empires, as word is their popularity grows in the United Federation Empire and other smaller independent systems.
    They seem to each be smoking or drinking, bringing to mind their well known use of drugs and alcohol, but again, such things are well kept within the band and as of yet, no charges have been strong enough to prosecute them under law. That’s, of course, not to say that the police don't put pressure on them...but more on that later.
    Lars was the first to speak as they each caught sight of me.

    Lars: Oh great, another fucking reporter.
    Zii Zii: AWESOME, I love doing interviews, we all get to come together and open up! Who do you work for?
    ME: I work for Rolling Stone.
    Kline: I have a subscription to Rolling Stone.
    ME: Well, thank you! You help pay my rent.
    Kline: And if you bought an album, you helped pay mine.
    Bello: Rolling Stone is part of the universe-wide conspiracy to keep the stars from exploding!
    Kash: Ignore him, Bello doesn’t even know what day of the cycle it is.
    KL: Well, shouldn’t we get this interview started?
    LS: Then he can fuck off back to his office and slander us.
    BL: He’ll try and report us to the high overlords of the shining red star…
    ZI: Noooo, he’ll make us look awesomeness!
    KS: Can we just get going please? I do have a recording to do later today.
    ME: That’s a good start actually, how is the new album going? We’ve all been expecting great things from you guys after the last album.
    LS: Well, I can say that this new album is going to kick more ass than the last album for sure.
    KL: I think what he means to say, is that the success of the last album has given us much more power and opportunity to do more of what we, the band, want to do and less of what the record company is telling us to do.
    ME: Do you guys usually clash with your bosses?
    LS: We don’t HAVE any fucking bosses! We’re Yenazhi!
    ZI: They promised me they’d give me more candy if I played more bass in this album.
    BL: The company is owned by MIND CONTROLLING CYBORGS.
    KS: The company is owned, in fact, by mind controlling cyborgs. They want us to write lots of soppy love songs or write just purely the mythic stuff, but we don’t like to do that so we shout at them and threaten to leave until they give in.
    ME: So you often come to blows with your producers?
    KL: Not really, they know they can’t afford to lose us, so they give in and let us ‘do whatever it takes’ to get the music out.
    KS: It’s a good thing we’re so evil, or we’d never manage to cause the revolution we’re causing.
    LS: That I’M causing, I’m the best writer around.
    ZI: BUT YOU SAID SONG WRITERS ARE PANSIES!
    LS: Shut it.
    ME: I can see that there is a little bit of conflict here between the lyricists and the music writers.
    BL: No, there’s conflict in your mindscape if you think we fight all the time.
    KL: We only fight with Lars.
    LS: Fuck you guys.
    ZI: We’re a big happy family apart from the times we’re not!
    KS: We have our ups and downs, but the music is the music and nothing will divide us over that.
    KL: Kash is right, like any band we’re prone to fighting every now and then, but never over the music, we all work together for that.
    LS: Well, as long as we follow the one rule.
    [Together] NO CHICKS IN THE RECORDING STUDIO.
    ME: You seem to be pretty firm on that, have you ever had partners try and influence your music?
    LS: We don’t have partners.
    ME: So you’re all still eligible bachelors?
    KS: We don’t talk about it, who we’re with is not the point of the band.
    ME: But the stories tell that you’re not just into the ladies, Kash.
    KS: Does that matter? It doesn’t change the fact that I’m a rock star or the message in our albums.
    ZI: Kash likes both types!
    BL: Kash is a whore.
    KS: GUYS!
    KL: Kash IS a bit of a whore.
    LS: What Kash does in the privacy of his own bedroom is not my business, it’s when he does it all over the couch is what annoys me.
    KS: THAT’S IT, I’M QUITTING THE BAND RIGHT NOW.
    LS: Calm down drama queen.
    ME: So it’s true that you were introduced to Zip when you tried to hit on him?
    KS: Kinda, I was really drunk, otherwise I would have never gone for him, I mean, have you seen what he wears? Man, he needs a stylist and FAST.
    KL: Like we said, it doesn’t change what we’re saying or what we do, so to us it’s not important.
    ME: Well, I’m only asking for the millions of ladies, and I suppose guys, who would love to come into this room and party with you all. Speaking of which, what IS true to those rumors of drugs and drink?
    LS: I’m not saying anything.
    ZI: Like you would, Mister Sir Mrs. drinks-a-lot.
    BL: We don’t do anything! We’re all nice and clean! Tell your overlords THAT.
    KL: We’re saying nothing, if you want to see what our parties are like you’ll have to come to one.
    KS: Exactly, and besides, we’re not as bad as some other artists out there. Didn’t Kiriy’s teeth almost shatter from the amount of quokine she was doing?
    ME: We’re talking about you guys. And yes.
    KL: Ugh, I met her once at an awards show. She was completely shitfaced and didn’t know what she was saying, she tried to convince me a duet ‘in her dressing room’ was a good idea. I fled after accepting my award.
    ZI: I like hanging out with Ihm! She’s epic and funny and really creative!
    ME: Whether that’s innuendo for something or just honesty I won’t ask. And don’t try and derail the subject, this interview is about you guys. Would you honestly say any of you have a problem with drugs or drink?
    LS: Lemmie sum this up for you, we’re a rock and roll band which means we get involved in sex, drugs and rock n’ fucking roll.
    ME: I’ll have to take that as my answer then. Let’s talk about your lives before Yenazhi-
    KS: Let’s not.
    ME: Why not? Touchy subject?
    KS: It’s something I don’t want to discuss with a reporter.
    ZI: Our private lives are private! Otherwise they wouldn’t be private and that wouldn’t make sense…
   BL: I can’t remember what I did before this band… something to do with food service though…
    KL: Remember the place we used to live in? Damn, that place was infectious. Literally, I must have caught three diseases whilst living there.
    KS: HA, remember the guy who lived next door?
    LS: Didn’t he win that Pulsaer prize last year for a book he wrote?
    KS: Something like that yeah. We should totally phone that guy and invite him over.
    ME: Ahem, why, Kash, don’t you like to talk about your past?
    KS: Because.
    ME: Because why?
    KS: Because because, that’s why.
    ME: Lots of people would like to know, many have tried and failed to find anything about you before you registered onto the unemployed system at eighteen.
    KS: Well too bad, you’ll find nothing on me before then.
    KL: Can we move on? This is wasting time.
    ME: It’s apparently true that you’ve all neglected to do your conscription service, lots of irken’s have commented on this, some even calling you cowards, anything to say on this?
    LS: Well for one, I’ve done conscription and it sucked, it only made me hate the military more than I already do.
    KS: I haven’t, I was going to but since we were signed up to a major record label I was exempt.
    KL: I refused to, and I was almost going to go to trial for it but, we were signed, so the charges were dropped.
    ZI: I’m too young anyway! I love getting away with it.
    BL: Same as Kash! HAR, those mindwipers didn’t get me…
    ME: Do you think that you’re being unpatriotic by not supporting our troops and setting a bad example for the younger generation.
    ZI: Old people are stupid and have stupid ideas!
    KL: We don’t think old people are stupid, they just don’t get that we’re not the same as they are. We’re raised in a new era with new ideas and values and they shouldn’t try to impose their views on us.
    KS: It’s not a matter of being unpatriotic, it’s a matter of standing up for what you believe in, Irkens used to be valued for their independence and strength, but now we’re told to conform and be alike and obey, that doesn’t seem independent and strong to me.
    LS: Those bastards in the Massive think they can shut us up, but every teenager in the Empire listens to us over them, we’re the ones calling the shots now and they can’t do bugger all about it.
    BL: We shouldn’t be concerned with the Tallest! We need to pay attention to the real problems, the secret hidden sleeping overlords who will soon awaken to feed on our brainwaves!
    ZI: But… I like my brainwaves…
    ME: Our time is drawing to an end, so as my last question, how would you define your message, sound and attitudes to all your fans reading this?
    LS: Our message is to be yourself, our sound is original and my attitude is more girls please.
    ZI: Fast, free and enjoyable!
    BL: My drumming keeps the demons from entering the sound systems while also secretly telling people to be afraid of ovens! And my attitude is to expand your mind as much as possible so that you too can learn the horrible truth about the universe!
    KL: My message is that people should take a stand for what they think is right. My sound is one of melodious excitement and my attitude is to be as calm and thoughtful as possible.
    KS: I can answer all three in one phrase, ROCK ON.

Interview by  Spaulding

Description
    To meet a band that defines a generation is a truly honourable thing indeed. Not to mention rather daunting. But, as I pulled up to the massive space cruiser, the Interstella 5555, I felt a huge, almost overwhelming sense that whatever expectations I had about them would be both granted and cast aside. Yenazhi as a band seem to do everything together. Not one of them alone has done an interview or their own concert, not even sponsored their own instruments. Perhaps this is to keep the outside from breaking whatever magic holds the group at their, currently, No.1 spot in the rock charts. Past secrets and scandals have ended the careers of other promising bands, and the deep personal privacy of the group have given them both an aura of mystery and deep respect from their surly billion-strong fans. In a universe were we know the every breath of our most audacious celebrities, the suspenseful yet tranquil silence of Yenazhi's personal lives has been a breath of fresh air and stops them, as the kids say, from 'selling out'.
    Yenazhi are a band which seem to have arrived at just the right time. The younger generation of our race is a source of constant anger to their elders. They strongly support the ending of the campaign, the ending of serfdom and slavery and rights to anyone within our empire's boarders. They are perhaps the first generation to know how some of our own planets are being left far behind in terms of living standards and they want something to be done about it. The mouthpiece for this desire for change and progression from the old ways has molded itself perfectly in the form of Yenazhi. Yet, Yenazhi’s political side is met with an another, dealing with personal issues and often finished with songs of myth and fantasy, all of this preformed with music and showmanship unseen in bands before.
    Perhaps their only rival in this area is Zip, the famous pop star Zimadonna’s son, however, it is well known that he and Yenazhi are close and they have done many tours together with even a personal thanks to Zip given on the last Yenazhi album Rifle which sold over forty billion copies in the first week, making it the fastest selling album of all time.
    Again, to interview such a band is a very honourable thing indeed.

    Their personal butler leads me to the main room in which I'd interview them in, and what a room it is. If one could purify rock and roll this would be it. Bottles lie everywhere, there are used patches lying about and collapsed on the floor were some half naked (and some fully naked) sleeping groupies of both sexes, hinting to of course Kash's infamous bisexuality. The air was thick with the smell of beer, vomit and drugs. It was the ultimate rocker’s ship.
    Sitting on a huge circular couch which spanned the walls of the room, only breaking to lead into the nearby corridors, were the band members. Bello, the drummer of the band who has done much to influence the fantasy and epic sound of the band; Lars, who's passion and fury on the guitar gives the band it's speed and energy; Zii Zii, who's radical, almost freestyle form of bass playing gives the band both it's original playing style and creativity with sound; Kline who's melodious, harmonic and yet energetic style of celloline playing and songwriting has contributed greatly to Yenazhi's success; and of course, the lead singer and guitarist, Kash. This mysterious young irken’s cocky and theatrical stage presence and shrouded mysterious personal life has drawn in fans from across the universe. Between them, they each hold an entire generation of listeners, united across planets and even empires, as word is their popularity grows in the United Federation Empire and other smaller independent systems.
    They seem to each be smoking or drinking, bringing to mind their well known use of drugs and alcohol, but again, such things are well kept within the band and as of yet, no charges have been strong enough to prosecute them under law. That’s, of course, not to say that the police don't put pressure on them...but more on that later.
    Lars was the first to speak as they each caught sight of me.

    Lars: Oh great, another fucking reporter.
    Zii Zii: AWESOME, I love doing interviews, we all get to come together and open up! Who do you work for?
    ME: I work for Rolling Stone.
    Kline: I have a subscription to Rolling Stone.
    ME: Well, thank you! You help pay my rent.
    Kline: And if you bought an album, you helped pay mine.
    Bello: Rolling Stone is part of the universe-wide conspiracy to keep the stars from exploding!
    Kash: Ignore him, Bello doesn’t even know what day of the cycle it is.
    KL: Well, shouldn’t we get this interview started?
    LS: Then he can fuck off back to his office and slander us.
    BL: He’ll try and report us to the high overlords of the shining red star…
    ZI: Noooo, he’ll make us look awesomeness!
    KS: Can we just get going please? I do have a recording to do later today.
    ME: That’s a good start actually, how is the new album going? We’ve all been expecting great things from you guys after the last album.
    LS: Well, I can say that this new album is going to kick more ass than the last album for sure.
    KL: I think what he means to say, is that the success of the last album has given us much more power and opportunity to do more of what we, the band, want to do and less of what the record company is telling us to do.
    ME: Do you guys usually clash with your bosses?
    LS: We don’t HAVE any fucking bosses! We’re Yenazhi!
    ZI: They promised me they’d give me more candy if I played more bass in this album.
    BL: The company is owned by MIND CONTROLLING CYBORGS.
    KS: The company is owned, in fact, by mind controlling cyborgs. They want us to write lots of soppy love songs or write just purely the mythic stuff, but we don’t like to do that so we shout at them and threaten to leave until they give in.
    ME: So you often come to blows with your producers?
    KL: Not really, they know they can’t afford to lose us, so they give in and let us ‘do whatever it takes’ to get the music out.
    KS: It’s a good thing we’re so evil, or we’d never manage to cause the revolution we’re causing.
    LS: That I’M causing, I’m the best writer around.
    ZI: BUT YOU SAID SONG WRITERS ARE PANSIES!
    LS: Shut it.
    ME: I can see that there is a little bit of conflict here between the lyricists and the music writers.
    BL: No, there’s conflict in your mindscape if you think we fight all the time.
    KL: We only fight with Lars.
    LS: Fuck you guys.
    ZI: We’re a big happy family apart from the times we’re not!
    KS: We have our ups and downs, but the music is the music and nothing will divide us over that.
    KL: Kash is right, like any band we’re prone to fighting every now and then, but never over the music, we all work together for that.
    LS: Well, as long as we follow the one rule.
    [Together] NO CHICKS IN THE RECORDING STUDIO.
    ME: You seem to be pretty firm on that, have you ever had partners try and influence your music?
    LS: We don’t have partners.
    ME: So you’re all still eligible bachelors?
    KS: We don’t talk about it, who we’re with is not the point of the band.
    ME: But the stories tell that you’re not just into the ladies, Kash.
    KS: Does that matter? It doesn’t change the fact that I’m a rock star or the message in our albums.
    ZI: Kash likes both types!
    BL: Kash is a whore.
    KS: GUYS!
    KL: Kash IS a bit of a whore.
    LS: What Kash does in the privacy of his own bedroom is not my business, it’s when he does it all over the couch is what annoys me.
    KS: THAT’S IT, I’M QUITTING THE BAND RIGHT NOW.
    LS: Calm down drama queen.
    ME: So it’s true that you were introduced to Zip when you tried to hit on him?
    KS: Kinda, I was really drunk, otherwise I would have never gone for him, I mean, have you seen what he wears? Man, he needs a stylist and FAST.
    KL: Like we said, it doesn’t change what we’re saying or what we do, so to us it’s not important.
    ME: Well, I’m only asking for the millions of ladies, and I suppose guys, who would love to come into this room and party with you all. Speaking of which, what IS true to those rumors of drugs and drink?
    LS: I’m not saying anything.
    ZI: Like you would, Mister Sir Mrs. drinks-a-lot.
    BL: We don’t do anything! We’re all nice and clean! Tell your overlords THAT.
    KL: We’re saying nothing, if you want to see what our parties are like you’ll have to come to one.
    KS: Exactly, and besides, we’re not as bad as some other artists out there. Didn’t Kiriy’s teeth almost shatter from the amount of quokine she was doing?
    ME: We’re talking about you guys. And yes.
    KL: Ugh, I met her once at an awards show. She was completely shitfaced and didn’t know what she was saying, she tried to convince me a duet ‘in her dressing room’ was a good idea. I fled after accepting my award.
    ZI: I like hanging out with Ihm! She’s epic and funny and really creative!
    ME: Whether that’s innuendo for something or just honesty I won’t ask. And don’t try and derail the subject, this interview is about you guys. Would you honestly say any of you have a problem with drugs or drink?
    LS: Lemmie sum this up for you, we’re a rock and roll band which means we get involved in sex, drugs and rock n’ fucking roll.
    ME: I’ll have to take that as my answer then. Let’s talk about your lives before Yenazhi-
    KS: Let’s not.
    ME: Why not? Touchy subject?
    KS: It’s something I don’t want to discuss with a reporter.
    ZI: Our private lives are private! Otherwise they wouldn’t be private and that wouldn’t make sense…
   BL: I can’t remember what I did before this band… something to do with food service though…
    KL: Remember the place we used to live in? Damn, that place was infectious. Literally, I must have caught three diseases whilst living there.
    KS: HA, remember the guy who lived next door?
    LS: Didn’t he win that Pulsaer prize last year for a book he wrote?
    KS: Something like that yeah. We should totally phone that guy and invite him over.
    ME: Ahem, why, Kash, don’t you like to talk about your past?
    KS: Because.
    ME: Because why?
    KS: Because because, that’s why.
    ME: Lots of people would like to know, many have tried and failed to find anything about you before you registered onto the unemployed system at eighteen.
    KS: Well too bad, you’ll find nothing on me before then.
    KL: Can we move on? This is wasting time.
    ME: It’s apparently true that you’ve all neglected to do your conscription service, lots of irken’s have commented on this, some even calling you cowards, anything to say on this?
    LS: Well for one, I’ve done conscription and it sucked, it only made me hate the military more than I already do.
    KS: I haven’t, I was going to but since we were signed up to a major record label I was exempt.
    KL: I refused to, and I was almost going to go to trial for it but, we were signed, so the charges were dropped.
    ZI: I’m too young anyway! I love getting away with it.
    BL: Same as Kash! HAR, those mindwipers didn’t get me…
    ME: Do you think that you’re being unpatriotic by not supporting our troops and setting a bad example for the younger generation.
    ZI: Old people are stupid and have stupid ideas!
    KL: We don’t think old people are stupid, they just don’t get that we’re not the same as they are. We’re raised in a new era with new ideas and values and they shouldn’t try to impose their views on us.
    KS: It’s not a matter of being unpatriotic, it’s a matter of standing up for what you believe in, Irkens used to be valued for their independence and strength, but now we’re told to conform and be alike and obey, that doesn’t seem independent and strong to me.
    LS: Those bastards in the Massive think they can shut us up, but every teenager in the Empire listens to us over them, we’re the ones calling the shots now and they can’t do bugger all about it.
    BL: We shouldn’t be concerned with the Tallest! We need to pay attention to the real problems, the secret hidden sleeping overlords who will soon awaken to feed on our brainwaves!
    ZI: But… I like my brainwaves…
    ME: Our time is drawing to an end, so as my last question, how would you define your message, sound and attitudes to all your fans reading this?
    LS: Our message is to be yourself, our sound is original and my attitude is more girls please.
    ZI: Fast, free and enjoyable!
    BL: My drumming keeps the demons from entering the sound systems while also secretly telling people to be afraid of ovens! And my attitude is to expand your mind as much as possible so that you too can learn the horrible truth about the universe!
    KL: My message is that people should take a stand for what they think is right. My sound is one of melodious excitement and my attitude is to be as calm and thoughtful as possible.
    KS: I can answer all three in one phrase, ROCK ON.

Interview by  Spaulding