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An apartment in Angel Falls, 10:36 PM...

"Connie, come on, we've talked about this," Republicat said with a sigh. "Walking around in your boxers is weird, but you really need to wear a top. How about that new 'I Support Laura Ingraham' shirt she had made for you, or that lacy bra you wore for the NRA photo shoot? You could-"

"Fine," the towering supersoldier interrupted, causing RC to cock her head. Was Connie actually going to listen for a change? The answer came in the form of the Crimson Conservative slipping out of her boxers and throwing them over her roommate's face. "There," she said as RC ripped the underwear off her head. "I ain't in my boxers anymore; problem solved."

Before Republicat could protest the now naked giantess threw herself on the couch, bottle of Jack in one hand, TV remote control in the other, gargantuan bare feet hanging over the end. "You know that's my spot, Connie! Get in your recliner! And I called the remote; Sia has a concert special on MTV, and-"

With a belch Connie flipped the television to Monday Night RAW and RC, a low growl in her throat, curled-up in the empty recliner and pouted.

* * *

A top-secret transdimensional facility somewhere in Angel Falls, the next day...

"You sent her where?" Republicat practically screamed, her big, pink feline eyes wide with horror.

"Amazonia Delta-3," the technician repeated, adjusting a dial on his consul. "They were willing to exchange an alien artifact for information on a new hyperdrive our government is working on, and specifically asked for her to make the exchange. They see her as this dimension's greatest champion, you know."

Republicat walked up to the man, tail flicking in a mixture of agitation and fear. "You sent Connie to a dimension where earth is an all-female population of super-strong warrior women who solve every grievance with a tickle-wrestling match?"

The tech shrugged. "As long as she doesn't offend anyone, she'll be fine. I really do fail to see the problem."

"Offend someone? This is the Crimson Conservative we're talking about here! Have you met the woman? She offends three people before she takes her first drink of the day, and she takes her first drink before she's even opened her eye. She'll be..." A thoughtful look came to RC's face. "She'll be..."

The feline/human assassin smiled as she thought about the events of last night. With a content purr Republicat patted the technician on the shoulder. "She'll be juuust fine."

* * *

A Grievance Center in the dimension designated Amazonia Delta-3, many days later...

"Five more minutes," the referee told the ultra-strong Amazon as she wiggled her fingertips into the heels of the giant redhead. "The line to settle things with this one is around the block. No hyperbole, it is actually around the block."

"Certainly," the woman engaged in the ancient, sacred art of tickle-wrestling said. "Just let me use the Spider Frenzy Technique on her arches again."

As a caring being the referee really should have stopped the fight once the Crimson Conservative's face turned literally as red as her hair, but would not do her the dishonor of stopping this ceremony of settling grievances. Connie was an ambassador from a friendly dimension, after all, and a mighty warrior who deserved that respect.

Yes, the referee thought as she looked at the ambassador from another realm with admiration. The Crimson Conservative was indeed going to get all she had coming to her.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Another "This is Just a Test" by . Just something he came up with while trying to get the gist of everyone's favorite belligerent behemoth. Thanks for letting me post it, friend!

The Crimson Conservative is my creation, © 2009, and (when she is not in nightmarish realms of unspeakable agony, ) usually resides with her friend/partner in crime-fighting, Republicat, in .

Comments welcome, even if it is to speculate what is worse for Connie: Speedy Mantis Pokes to her armpits, or the dreaded Mighty Tongue Wiggle maneuver to her bellybutton. I hear they are actually thinking about banning that one...

Description

An apartment in Angel Falls, 10:36 PM...

"Connie, come on, we've talked about this," Republicat said with a sigh. "Walking around in your boxers is weird, but you really need to wear a top. How about that new 'I Support Laura Ingraham' shirt she had made for you, or that lacy bra you wore for the NRA photo shoot? You could-"

"Fine," the towering supersoldier interrupted, causing RC to cock her head. Was Connie actually going to listen for a change? The answer came in the form of the Crimson Conservative slipping out of her boxers and throwing them over her roommate's face. "There," she said as RC ripped the underwear off her head. "I ain't in my boxers anymore; problem solved."

Before Republicat could protest the now naked giantess threw herself on the couch, bottle of Jack in one hand, TV remote control in the other, gargantuan bare feet hanging over the end. "You know that's my spot, Connie! Get in your recliner! And I called the remote; Sia has a concert special on MTV, and-"

With a belch Connie flipped the television to Monday Night RAW and RC, a low growl in her throat, curled-up in the empty recliner and pouted.

* * *

A top-secret transdimensional facility somewhere in Angel Falls, the next day...

"You sent her where?" Republicat practically screamed, her big, pink feline eyes wide with horror.

"Amazonia Delta-3," the technician repeated, adjusting a dial on his consul. "They were willing to exchange an alien artifact for information on a new hyperdrive our government is working on, and specifically asked for her to make the exchange. They see her as this dimension's greatest champion, you know."

Republicat walked up to the man, tail flicking in a mixture of agitation and fear. "You sent Connie to a dimension where earth is an all-female population of super-strong warrior women who solve every grievance with a tickle-wrestling match?"

The tech shrugged. "As long as she doesn't offend anyone, she'll be fine. I really do fail to see the problem."

"Offend someone? This is the Crimson Conservative we're talking about here! Have you met the woman? She offends three people before she takes her first drink of the day, and she takes her first drink before she's even opened her eye. She'll be..." A thoughtful look came to RC's face. "She'll be..."

The feline/human assassin smiled as she thought about the events of last night. With a content purr Republicat patted the technician on the shoulder. "She'll be juuust fine."

* * *

A Grievance Center in the dimension designated Amazonia Delta-3, many days later...

"Five more minutes," the referee told the ultra-strong Amazon as she wiggled her fingertips into the heels of the giant redhead. "The line to settle things with this one is around the block. No hyperbole, it is actually around the block."

"Certainly," the woman engaged in the ancient, sacred art of tickle-wrestling said. "Just let me use the Spider Frenzy Technique on her arches again."

As a caring being the referee really should have stopped the fight once the Crimson Conservative's face turned literally as red as her hair, but would not do her the dishonor of stopping this ceremony of settling grievances. Connie was an ambassador from a friendly dimension, after all, and a mighty warrior who deserved that respect.

Yes, the referee thought as she looked at the ambassador from another realm with admiration. The Crimson Conservative was indeed going to get all she had coming to her.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Another "This is Just a Test" by . Just something he came up with while trying to get the gist of everyone's favorite belligerent behemoth. Thanks for letting me post it, friend!

The Crimson Conservative is my creation, © 2009, and (when she is not in nightmarish realms of unspeakable agony, ) usually resides with her friend/partner in crime-fighting, Republicat, in .

Comments welcome, even if it is to speculate what is worse for Connie: Speedy Mantis Pokes to her armpits, or the dreaded Mighty Tongue Wiggle maneuver to her bellybutton. I hear they are actually thinking about banning that one...