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jan-michael9500 — ToC: Chapter1 Page1
Published: 2008-07-14 07:30:59 +0000 UTC; Views: 1623; Favourites: 18; Downloads: 23
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EDIT:Change the text baubles and some of the grammar, i was planning on using the grammar to stress the pronunciation accents but oh well XD
also edited the speed lines, its much better now.
added more a few more effects and viola... it looks better now
i didnt edit the spacing on the panel anymore... ill do that on the next page... XD
-DOX
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something is "missing" and i cant put a finger on it.
hmmm oh well, ill figure it out sooner or later.
must practice lighting and perspectives as well as speed lines to boot.
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Comments: 47
love the knocking effects and the drool oh just perfect
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lol, the drool was probably the hardest part to render on this one XD LMAO
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Imao that's reason why I love that part.
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Heh, poor tiger. ALl you want was some sleep, but nooo. 
Nicely done on the expressions and dayum you've been improving like mad doxxie. *snugs*
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The drooling looks cool ahahah.
I liked this page, the colouring is very fluent and beautifull, I think it might have taken a ton to finish huh? Very good job man!
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well it took a bit more time that i originally anticipated ^_^
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Amazing..O_O waw! ur cg-ing skills are superb! 
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art wise its good man... you got to proud of that... but transition is another story.. in my opinion you should devote one page for dox changing clothes...
the way things moved was rather to fast... but hey its a good start.. maybe you could insert some few lines about dox at the first page of the comic... just to give us a background on what is happening. heheheh. me ish applying what me learned form short story plots eheheheh... cge mike be seeing you... and yah!!as a early Christmas present.. imma give you a chaos necromancer authentic card.. cge til then TATA!!!
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btw earl, gi plano bya nako initally to devote an entire page just dressing up, pero wala man guy relevance ang changing cloths ,well the details anyway, to the story.
if i do that, i will have to do the same for ALL the upcoming pages... and that would take morre than just 7-10 pages that i was planning for chap 1 XD 1 pannel is enough, in my opinion anyway. ^_^
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naks! more improvement to you! haha! galing ang ganda ng kulay!
yung kama may panis n laway! XD
--
It's not so much the pain! It's more the actual knife! Pretending the picture is perfect, I cut myself to sleep, I close my eyes for a second And meet a fragile soul. I scream to hide that I'm lonely, The echo calls my name...
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as in XD hahhahahahah kelangan na labhan XD
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Actually if you look back tp the prolioge page the time in it is 8:35, you move around in your sleep so the phone must have been knokked to the ground. On a side note, love it so fare, kind of looks like me in teh morning
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lol, everyone seem to have missed my phone that much XD
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Its one of those small thing you just notice off the bat. Its really good so fare, and I really look like that in the morning 
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I know what it needs!!!!.................... More pages!
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lol, calm down, im only one person XD lol
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ah shuddup man, nothing is wrong with it ^__^
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nice. i say its either the white bg for it or that the phone thing he had is missing `-`
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Nice dude, really nice, I definately must get my comic started damnit!!
Only point though is that the panels seem to have a little too much space between them, for me thats what gives it that 'missing' feeling, but other than that, I'm loving it, but whats the package, I need to know!!!
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Saying that, maybe its that the void/white space between the panels is white and plain, perhaps thats what it is.
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Love your style of dressing^^
Now hurry go on!! Make that delivery!
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His bedroom's got very nice outdoor scenery! Amazing details placed into all of these panels!
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invested 10 hours on it XD so hehhehehe may as well give details worthy of 10 hours XD
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Love the attention to detail:
The display on the alarm clock, the shading and texturing, the landscape outside the window and reflected on the mirror, everything's spot-ot. Good use of the 'sounds' 
Keep up the excellent work, bud. Can't wait to see more ^_^
'Full' Critique sent by note... =3
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not like i can draw like you but, i agree that sumthing is missing.. >.> try using Lemme, instead of Lemmi.. umm.. Ya GOT A not gota.. 
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If you can manage to keep up this quality of work for an entire comic, you good sir win.
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well that is my plan ^_^"
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Kate is right--- tulo laway!!!
hehehehehehe
So coolio!!!
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always mang gud ko ginalaway pag matulog XD
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hehehehehe
lamia nimo matulog oi... drooling when asleep, is a sign of a deep sleep.
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hehehehehe! XD very deep XD
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master master ka dyan XD
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oo mamahalin na kita, masteerrrrrrrrr 
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