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JeffVictor — Mannequin
Published: 2012-01-09 06:35:46 +0000 UTC; Views: 2449; Favourites: 28; Downloads: 30
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Something that I've barely touched on in my Classics of Crap series is the romantic comedy. There are so many bad romantic comedies, it's actually kind of difficult to single out the worst of the worst. For some reason, Mannequin leapt to the top (or bottom?) of the pile for me. It is pure, unadulterated awful. The strange thing is, everyone I talked to about seems to have fond memories of this movie. I watched it again for the first time in almost 25 years and was surprised to find that it is far, far worse than I remembered. Only James Spader seems to get what kind of movie this is, and turns in a bizarrely hammy performance. Also, I gotta say, the theme song by Starship is a guilty pleasure, but the rest of the movie is just pathetic. Mannequin? More like ManneCAN'T! *rimshot*Related content
Comments: 28
"Do my thighs look fat? It's those damn jelly doughnuts. They call to me in the middle of the night. 'Hollywood! Hollywood! Come and get me, Hollywood!'"
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Apparently someone at Mystery Science Theater 3000 was a big fan of Mannequin, as a running joke was Crow T. Robot's crush on Kim Cattrall.
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If you were a young teen in the 80's you were certain to have a crush on Kim Cattrall, but that's really funny. I bet it was Joel lol.
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Knowing the writers through the Amazing Colossal Episode Guide, I'm willing to bet it was Frank. He was the guy that actually LIKED bad movies.
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I like the Starship song myself, and I heard that indie animator Sally Cruikshank did the opening credits for this one, and I even managed to see part of it. I don't know how well the rest of it would hold up for me, but hey, I've sat through 80s cheese like Howard The Duck* more than once before.
*Howard The Duck is a guilty pleasure for me, by the way.
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oh howard the duck...I might have to do a tribute pic to that one
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I see...
Have you heard of The Nostalgia Critic and The Cinema Snob? They're two satirical critics that have reviewed/poked fun at some of those "Classics of Crap" that you've drawn images of. The Nostalgia Critic has namely reviewed The Room, Batman And Robin, Last Action Hero, Battlefield Earth, Superman 4, and Waterworld. The Cinema Snob is a parody of those film critics with a love for artsy films that mocks obscure schlocky exploitation films and cheaply made horror flick. He reviewed Troll 2 and The Galaxy Invader, the movie that Pod People used for its credits sequences, which was pointed out in his review of that movie. Oh, and he did review Pod People (under the name Extraterrestrial Visitors) for E.T. Week.
Yeah, long wall of text, but I wanted to find a good way to explain everything fairly quickly.
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I know of the Nostalgia Critic, but never heard of Cinema Snob. I'll check it out, thanks!
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Ok, no prob. I think he's funny.
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You know, I know the perfect guy to tear apart such a movie.
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Oh man. I saw part of this movie at age, like, 4? I only remember because - not making this up - I watched it at my estranged, drug-addicted grandmother's while my dad was delirious and probably unconscious in the hospital with a shattered jaw and my mother was on vacation with her sisters in another country. I've always wondered what movie it was she showed me, so thank you for clearing that up!
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Ooh, a rimshot. Nice touch.
Actually, I think this might be based off of Roman myth: [link] (mythology)
This'd probably shame the myth if I were to make that sort of comparison, however.
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Is this the one with the little girl that wants a mum and a mannequin comes to life?
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No that's another crap movie with Tyra Banks I think you're thinking of. This is a crap 80's movie about a perv that falls in love with a mannquin and lo! she comes to life just for him. (turns out she was an egyptian princess under a spell.) It also features one of the most stereotypical caricatures of a gay man ever put to film. The trailer is on youtube--i recommend watching just that to give you an idea:[link]
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No, that's life size.... The one I'm thinking of has Olivia Newton John in it - it's called "A mom for christmas"
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ohhh, i don't know that i've seen that one. Hm, interesting! Sounds wretched. I'll have to watch it! lol
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It is - one of those, 'do bad it's good' kinds things ^_^
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I love your classics of crap series, but I also loved this movie when I was a little kid...I feel so torn right now!
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I know! I loved it as a kid, but wow-this movie did not age well. Do a search on youtube and see for yourself. Something similar happened when i re-watched Thundercats for the first time in years, only to discover it was really dumb. Well, i guess that means we're growing up...right? :-S
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I'm going to trust you on this one and not do the YouTube search so I can hold on to my memory of this movie. I made that mistake with Transformers G1, my all time favorite cartoon; I almost lost it when it was announced on DVD. I rushed to the store to get it, only to run home and not be able to sit through more than one episode. I could hear my childhood slowly dying with every new frame...
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OMG totally. All those old cartoons, He-Man, G1 transformers, GI Joe, etc. are horrible now. Strange because some cartoons and shows I liked as a kid still hold up well even today. (Fraggle rock for instance)
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Those were puppets though; Dark Crystal still holds up to this day. Can't really blame the bad animation though; original Tom & Jerry, 40s Disney cartoons, even Fleischer's Superman all hold up perfectly well to this day. Everyone involved in those did it for the art, they just wanted to put something beautiful and magical out there, 80s cartoons were just a vehicle to sell us toys, as much as it pains me to admit it.
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I personally try to search for good 80s animation through other sources outside of TV cartoons. 80s TV cartoons never really seemed to take much advantage of what the medium was capable of, which is a shame, really.
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Fleisher's superman is unbelievably good still, that's a great example! I think it's just a question of quality. The lousy writing that we aren't sophisticated enough to pick up on as kids is SUPER apparent when we grow up. There are many shows from the 90's that were kind of written with adults in mind that i still enjoy today. (animaniacs, freakazoid, etc), but in general, yeah, he man was just a 1/2 hour toy commercial. lol
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