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jlel — Mass Effect 2: Humanity's Most Valuable Asset
Published: 2012-02-07 04:06:50 +0000 UTC; Views: 4508; Favourites: 24; Downloads: 0
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I couldn't resist...After finishing Mass Effect 2 (total game time: 46 hours and 30 minutes), my husband and I started talking about how silly it was for people to send Shepard for somewhat inconsequential assignments such as the one on MSV Estevanico.
In that mission, Shepard has to go get a data from a crashed Alliance ship that is teetering over the edge of a cliff. At every step you take while on that ship, you risk falling over the edge and dying. So my husband and I laughed about how Cerberus brought Shepard back to life after spending at least $4billion on the Lazarus Project only to have him run errands and chores for the entire galaxy.
This comic strip is the result of the conversation my husband and I had. It is dedicated to all the like-minded Mass Effect gamers out there (I have clocked over 86 hours on this game and counting) and to all those who have, on occasion, had a conversation like the one that inspired this comic. Shepard should be doing important things in the galaxy - not run people's errands. XD
PS: I like the assignments but not the lame ones like go pick up data from a crashed ship or go save a crashing ship...
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Comments: 62
Yeah! I know right... Anything but THAT! I felt that it was such a waste of time and energy to even try to finish that mission...
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Too bad you can't die on the mission, would've made you think twice about where you step.
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Hahaha... Yeah! I know what you mean!
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Haha, Great! When doing this quest my heart almost jumped out of my chest, every time it started moving.
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Me too! Then I quickly realized that you can't actually die in the mission...
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I'm with you there. On these assignments I was like "Can't ANYBODY be doing this for me?!" Hell even the mineral gathering feels redundant. If EDI has the time to announce when you're launching probes and monitor your progress, why can't she just handle the mineral gathering for you?
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Yay! Another who agrees with me! I was the same as you too - I was like "Er, why is it that Shepard has to do this again?" XD I think it's just to give the player something OTHER than shooting to do. It's fun and stuff but repeat that 200x and it's no longer fun. XD
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The most awkward death ever! Is it possible to die there though, before Joker picks you up? I got stuck in the textures once, but for the rest everything was ok
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Nah, in the game itself you won't die. BUT they make it so creaky and crumbly... It makes it SEEM like you'll die but in the game you won't cuz Joker saves you. In real life though? Shepard would've died! And Cerberus would've wasted money!
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That depends. I doubt a renegade Shepard would go there in the first place
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O my God ! This is Peaciful ! Peaciful ! PEACIFUUUUUUUUUL !!!!!!!!!!
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I hope that means you like it...
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I always look at it like that stuff really happens outside the 'flow' of the game. It's like in ME1 when Hackett would constantly call you to send you on some errand. No Shepard, knowing that he/she was against the clock with Saren would detour to bomb around on some desolate planet in the Mako. Great stuff to poke fun at though.
Nice work.
My question is: why would Shepard feel any need at all to go back to Earth to answer for what happened in Arrival? Shepard's got more important shit to do than sit in a cell awaiting a witch hunt farce of a trial.
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Yeah I don't mind doing those side missions really. I just thought it was funny (and even downright laughable) how sometimes Shepard's Assignments are just SO out of the way and lame. Hope you like the comic though - it's for other fans like me who have wondered the same question. Cuz I did think "What IF Shepard REALLY did go on that side-mission and then die?" $4bil wasted. XD
And I dunno but it does seem to be how ME3 starts no? I think I saw it in one of the Bioware videos about how the Reapers will appear mid-way through his trial. My husband and I speculate that maybe Shepard's crew will actually steal the Normandy (which purportedly have been confiscated by the Alliance). I thought Arrival was not that great - to me, it felt so inconsequential but then again, I was playing it while I was tired...
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Arrival just felt like you were being railroaded again. Seriously, Shepard STILL doesn't record her conversation with either Harbinger or another Reaper? And why would a Spectre bend over for the Alliance who threw her to the wolves? Alas...
Yes, I certainly did enjoy the comic. You could probably do several and they'd all make me laugh.
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Oh yeah! I know what you mean.. I think it's STUPID how the Alliance doesn't believe her. Neither does the Council! You'd think that Shepard's fancy armor would have something as simple as a recording device of somesort eh? I mean like a camera on his helmet or something... Oh well.. I guess this sets the stage for ME3!
Thanks! 
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You could always do a few panels on Mordin's search for the source of the Normandy's "scale itch" problem, Kelly and lots and lots of innuendo...
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... Hooooo yesh... The scale itch problem... HAHAHAHAHA...
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Lol, I didn't play Mass Effect 2, but I agree that its kinda silly for them to make him a galactic errand boy
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Hahaha... Oh yeah... EVERYONE literally, EVERYONE just asks him to do stuff... And I don't mind doing them. It's just that some of them are just SO inane!
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Maybe its some kind of weird conspiracy. He cost so much to Cerberus that they're loaning him out to everyone for odd jobs to pay back the money.
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That makes him sound like a hooker.
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... Hey, that's a good explanation! XD And it seems plausible enough!! It's the first time I've heard it. Good one.
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Haha, I remember that. But of course, you get off just in the nick of time. Gawd I love Mass effect.
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YAY! At least one other person knows what I'm talking about! XD
Yeah I know... In the end you escape but throughout the mission, the darn ship was groaning and creaking so much! I was just thinking WHAT IF the ship actually crashes when Shepard's in it doing such a lame side-mission. XD I thought "Man... That's $4bil gone..."
Anyway, I LOVE MASS EFFECT TOO!
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Yes. When I was doing that mission, with every creak I would jump two feet off of my bed and squealed really loud. I was so scared man.
And I ran around for a while going "Where do I go. I went up and down that scary ramp twice. Arrgh!"
I reordered Mass Effect 3 in October.
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Hahahahaha... I did the same too! Jumped I mean. You play on PC? I'm on Xbox 360. And yeah, I was running around too! I was so annoyed before I realized that I had to shoot the darn loose tiles...
And I preordered ME3 too!
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I am also on Xbox. I play as Femshep. She so purdy. Omg, when I figured that out I almost screamed. It was kinda cool though, I liked the mission all in all.
Colector's Edition for the win. There is gonna be an art book and it be epic.
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I'm a FemShep cuz I'm femme and man... FemShep is SO HOT - attitude wise and appearance wise. I mean, she's rockin'! I love how in Mass Effect 2 she became more badass that even her Paragon choices were more "in your face" than in Mass Effect 1. In ME1 she was way too polite and way too receiving...
I already pre-ordered the other art book too - the ME Universe artbook but I can't wait to get the ME3 art book too. Kaidan looks like he's going to look quite hot - better than he was in ME1.
Oh! So when the multiplayer comes out, are you going to try it? Since you're on Xbox, are you a Gold member?
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Yes, I must agree with you. FemShep gets in bed with EVERYONE.
In mass effect one, even though I am a Paragon, I had to choose some renegade options, for the sake of role-playing, so it wasn't that bad.
Aw, I did not preorder that one. 
Yes! Most definitely. We will have to play together. It's going to be great.
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I so agree! She is super awesome! She really makes me feel good - I couldn't help but turn to my husband every single time she does something out of my expectation and say "Man, she rocks!" Yeah, me too... My Paragon is 100% but my Renegade is about 10%. Some decision I made seem to have given me Renegade even though they weren't "renegady" options! I don't know why that happens sometimes.
Ahhh... Yeah, I chose for Ashley to live as well. It's thanks to my husband's logical explanation that it's more obvious that if I don't help Ashley she'll die - however, Kaidan still had a small chance of living. My Gold membership just expired but I think I'll prolly get it for ME3. Will try the demo!
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Yes, sometimes I will literately run in circles on the Normandy and hum to myself just to look at Shepard.
I do what I believe is best for the most people, or what will be the best thing in the long run. I also HATED Cerberus, so I rarely got along with the Illusive Man and kinda hated Miranda. In my first play-through she died in the suicide mission because when Jack and her had an argument I sided with Jack. Everyone lived the second time though! 
Uh huh, Ashley is also just an all around better person. But I liked Alenko too... I had to actually pause the game during my first go at that and make a pro and con list. Yes, get it back! That way we can play.
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Hahahaha... I do that too although in some angles I think that Shepard's neck looks a little strange. For me, I felt indebted to Cerberus for bringing me back so I was really quite nice with TIM and Miranda. I kinda pitied Miranda too because of her situation with her family and all... It kinda made sense why she's the way she is... I had Samara and Mordin die in my first playthrough because I misread the instructions and made Samara the leader of my second fireteam. If I had read it right, then I'd have made Garrus my fire team leader and no one would have died. Thanks to that stupidity I went back and replayed the final scene because I knew that I had made a mistake - sometimes I press "X" too fast and miss the conversations. XD
Kaidan was I felt a bit of a troubled character. And logically speaking, the bomb was more important so I stuck by that... And yeah, sometimes I just stare at the screen for so long just cuz I don't know what to say or what to decide. XD
Oh btw! I made a chibi drawing of Shepard! Check it out!
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Yesh, I understand, but it still doesn't mean she has to be a meanie. Though, even though I played Femshep, I felt that at certain points in dialog, she was flirting with me, even though there is no gay romance with her. Bioware obviously left most stuff the same for male or female Shepard. I think I am going to play through again because I keep having the crew, as in the minor characters, die. I don't want that to happen. I want to get the Arival DLC before March so I can do that. I read in Game Informer that it was great.
Also, I felt that Kaidan wanted Ashley to live. Maybe in some parallel universe, they could have been together. 
It made me squee 
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Yeah she didn't have to... In ME2 she's more mean than she was in the first. XD I thought she rocked though that way. Oh yes... Flirting... Can you just HEAR it in her voice??? The flirtatous tone she uses with almost everyone on the ship. I swear I felt like she was hitting on EVERYONE on the ship - ESPECIALLY Kelly! XD I thought that was pretty cool. I think Kelly's pretty cute. I didn't get the Paramour achievement though because I stayed faithful to Liara in ME2. I want to see what happens between them in ME3. I think I'll get the Paramour after I play ME3.
Oh I finished The Arrival. Go get it, it's cheap now. IMHO I thought it wasn't a really great mission. I mean, I LOVED the Shadow Broker one. The Arrival didn't feel as good. Half the time I'm scrambling around - and I didn't even really care because of how good my weapons were already and my stats were sky high with good armor. So all the time I just put my Shep on the Barrier power (got it from Jacob) and just ploughed through the enemies. They're mostly organics so it's easier to deal with them - just watch out for the biotics. One good thing about Arrival though? It'll tell you just why you're going to be on Earth in ME3.
Oh yes! My Shep had a bit of flirting with Kaidan so his feelings for Ashley weren't so clear. However, I felt so bad for him dying because of how heroic he was in his last moments. Throughout the game he wasn't such a great guy but near the end? Man, he was great - I felt bad for abandoning him!
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I romanced Liara T'Soni as well. In my opinion, no other relationship compares. When I got the Shadow Broker DLC, it made my month. The make of it was quite beautiful. I love how Bioware gets me so psyched up like this.
I totally want Arival now. I NEED to have it, rather. heh.
You should make a new Shepard just for ME2 and get the Paramour acheivement. I suggest ManShep and jack. It was suprising to me that you could not romance her as a chick, I don't quite know why...
I flirted with him too before I met Liara. Then I was like "Ciao!"
I felt kinda bad though. He seemed a little upset. I expesially felt bad after leaving him, but then I remind myself it is a game. I don't listen to myself though.
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OMG! ME TOO!! I thought I was the only one! After I did the dumb mistake that killed Samara and Mordin, I actually CRIED so hard! My husband had to hold me because I was crying so hard!
I AGREE!!! She is beautiful! And I'm not even into aliens or anything like that. When my husband first told me of Liara I'm like "Meh whatever... I'm a human through and through..." Then bam! I romanced her and she is amazing! And man, the ending of Shadow Broker was SO sad - I asked Liara up to my cabin. Then the part where Shep said "Come back soon Liara" - that broke my heart! But I was SO GLAD that I got her back up to see me on the ship. That was great! Totally love how Bioware had that part.
Yeah, Jack totally shoots you down if you're Fem. XD I thought it was hilarious when she was like "I appreciate how you're all concerned and all but I'm not into the girl's club" and basically tells you to F off. XD If I were ManShep, I'd go for Miranda! I'm sorry but I just don't like Tali - never did. I found Jack's story to be the most interesting though...
Yeah, me too. I felt REALLY bad after they confronted me at the briefing room. I wished I could get both. But of course... It doesn't work that way...
You and me both! I can't remind myself enough that this is JUST A GAME. XD But man... Liara T'Soni... Now if anything from a game could come to life, I'd want her to.
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That is exactly how I felt. Bioware could not have possibly made a better romance. It is just not possible. When I was talking with her in the cabin, my absolute favorite part:
Liara: So tell me, if this all ends tomorrow, what happens to us?
Shepard: I don't know. Marriage, old age, and a lot of little blue children.
Jack no likey dah girls. 
Oh, if she was real, I would freak. *swoon* Ahhh... <3
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He thought that I was being silly though because I could easily just reload the save and then replay it to make the right choice but yeah, that was sweet of him. Hehehe..
YEAH!! I totally agree with you! I just love how well Jennifer Hale voiced FemShep in ME2. That scene was just perfect. I wished that Liara wasn't so "stiff" though - I mean, they haven't seen each other for 2 years and yet it felt too formal. I dunno if you get what I mean. It just felt a little formal and stiff - like they're just friends or something. I love the part where Shep asked Liara for an incentive to come back. XD That was cute. I can't help but feel sad at the Liara/Shep relationship though - I mean Liara's only 100+. That means that Shep will be so far dead before Liara even reaches old age!
I dunno... I didn't find Tali that interesting. She's okay I guess but nothing that rocked my boat. Miranda IS designed to be perfect after all... Hahaha... The voice actress is actually quite gorgeous - better looking than Miranda even. Hah! Yeah! I never thought of it that way. I suppose she HAS seen all of Shep.
Another one I'd love to see alive in real life is Kelly! XD
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Yes! Jennifer Hale is my favorite voice actress of all time. They could not have chosen better. I do understand actually. Expessially (Really bad spelling) especially that one part where she touched Shep's arm and then put her hand back to her side.
If you read into the Asari race and all, it does not make any since that she would be interested in "Melding" at that age. It really is way too young. Oh well.
I will admit, Miranda's accent is pretty sweet. I really could have gone a long time thinking Miranda was a total bitch, but then I took her quest, and I made her talk to her sister. It was great.
Yes, Kelly! 
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She's pretty darn good - I must agree! 
Oh yes... I like the British accent - the proper Queen's English one though. Not the Cockney... Yeah, I agree!
Man... I can't wait to see what the story is like in ME3 and how everything ties to a close. EXCITED!
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Of course it is true love. They were meant for each other. 
British? I was thinking her accent was more Australian. I guess I was wrong all along 
I know! 
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Yeah it's so sweet... I mean, she being a Maiden and yet tying herself to one person and not doing crazy things - well unless you count being the Broker to be crazy... And yeah, I remember who you're referring to... Did you listen to their conversation all the way through? The Salarian was not her father - and he expressed his fear of his mate forgetting him and hence that's why he was getting her a gift. Then the "daughter" said that she'll remember him. Then I think the salarian mentioned something about her first father... So sad... I mean it'll be that way for Liara and Shepard too.
Hmm... Let me go check. I THOUGHT it was Brit... I might be mistaken - although that'd be kinda embarrassing since I studied Linguistics in University. XD
Oh! What did you do to deserve being grounded? XD
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Liara is not the average Asari, of course. She is always striving to better herself, being a pureblood and all. I suppose she wanted to prove herself so she went and learned things instead of... partying.
Yes, I remember it. So sad yet sweet at the same time.
Salarian culture is sort of sad all together. The females stay on the homeworld to lay eggs, and there are not many of them. Their only purpose is to stay hidden away from the males (partially so they are not stolen away and also for control) and lay eggs until they die. Unfertilized eggs hatch as male Salarians, and only very few adult males are chosen to fertilize an egg. A fertilized egg will make a female, so the father never is allowed to see his own daughter.
Oh! In that case I do hope I am wrong xD
My grades were not up to par.
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Yeah that's true. Did you hear the conversation about pureblood on Ilium? Man, that was so bitchy! And yeah, I always think of Liara as the more "nerdy" version of the Asari. Thankfully still hot regardless.
Yeah... And by social acceptance, they can't have more than a few percentages of the eggs fertilized! So many male Salarians.. And they all seem so fragile too.. Skinny, fragile-looking, short lived...
I dunno... Did you see my other reply? Cuz she seems to be a mix of Brit and Aussie. Mostly she sounds Aussie but I think she tries to come across as Brit - cuz it's more "perfect". More "classy" I guess...
Oh! What grade are you in? High school?
BTW!!! LIARA CHIBI IS UP!!!
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Yeah, the other chick kept making fun of her for it. It was kinda mean. I love nerds
Ah, Salarians. I will never quite understand your culture. So sad.
Yes, I suppose. She does tend to sound a bit stuck-up about some of the things she says. But I have never seen a Brit so... well endowed.
I am a sophomore! 
I saw! I really love it. The detail is quite good. You can also see her personality in the piece. And awe, dedicated to your hubby. :3
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