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kasuria — Dominance
by-nc-nd
Published: 2011-11-04 04:28:44 +0000 UTC; Views: 6567; Favourites: 177; Downloads: 26
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Description
After *NoVaNoah drew the three of them I couldn't resist :3
I want to draw them again in the future, something nicer than simple cell shading XD;;
Just before anyone thinks otherwise, Maya is not related to Dan and Roza. They're from different stories :>
Maya's so out of place with all her black XD
Enjoy!
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Roza and Dan Mustang (c) *NoVaNoah
Maya Mustang (c) Me and *Shadougemaniac14
Art (c) Me
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Comments: 76
This is such a fun and playful drawing. 
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*waving arms about frantically* making my own Royai family! Will you tell me if its okay???
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What do you specifically want me to critique?
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Uh...whatever seems out of place or ridiculous.. l_l
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Ignore this comment 
I'm going to post the actual comment on your picture
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Okay, bear with me, you asked for a critique, so that being said, that’s what I’m going to give you. I’m going to be completely honest because that’s the only way you can improve. If I lie and stuff, you’ll never get any better. I want to help you to help yourself (:
Well, first thing’s first. I’m going to cover Roy and Riza, because obviously since they’re the parents, they’re important. How is it that Roy and Riza are married and have children despite the military rules against fraternization? And does Riza still work in the military? That confused me a little because it wasn’t explained. Also, I don’t particularly think that Roy would “dislike” the work he has to do as Fuhrer. He chose this path, and it’s what he’s been sacrificing everything for. No matter what, Roy’s duty to his country comes before anything. He wouldn’t put his child over his job, even though that doesn’t sound like a normal parent. But that’s just the way Roy is. Riza too. And also, it’s not like Roy wasn’t happy with his life before haha. He seemed very content, and only very serious when on the job. But you know, when you’re a colonel in the military you have to be lol. But the way you have him, where he’s so carefree he doesn’t even shave, and doesn’t like being at work almost seems OOC for Roy. Let’s remember Roy isn’t Hughes, he’s Roy. He has to be very serious, stern and cleanly groomed if he’s going to be the Fuhrer. At the end of the manga/Brotherhood, when he’s seen as a General, he takes the time to slick back his hair for work. He wants to look professional because of his position. But when he’s at home, sure he can mess around with his kids and have fun. But he still has to be Roy. Also, you said Roy brings his son to work with him a lot? This is the military let’s remember. Maybe a few times is fine, but not every day. They don’t want kids in HQ. Only for emergencies. Otherwise, no.
Also, when you talked about them making out after finding out about their second child. Doesn’t that seem OOC to you? It does to me. Keep in mind, a fangirl’s fantasies are what make sues and OOC characters.
Also, another thing. About Riza. I notice you mentioned how she sometimes takes off work to take care of the boys, and Roy doesn’t. And how it sparks fights about one sided parenting? Two things on this. First thing being, I think that when needed, they would take turns taking off time from work to take care of their sons. They are both of their children after all, and Roy and Riza would understand of that. They want to raise them together. Roy and Riza are a team, whether it’s for work or taking care of their child. Second being that I don’t think Riza would get angry at Roy for not taking off work. If Roy isn’t taking off work then it must be for a very important reason. He is the Fuhrer after all, and Riza obviously understands that. I don’t think she’d get angry with him for that and make it sound like she was doing all the work. Again, she’d be very understanding. Riza is also sacrificing and devoting a lot because she wants Roy to be where he is. They both are very job oriented, and for good reason. They have their goals they need to accomplish.
Now onto the boys. They seem very… Hm… Generic? Like, I don’t see anything unique about them really. What makes them really stand out as characters? What makes their personalities unique and different? They also both seem very similar to each other. And for their appearance… Be careful, especially with Ray and how he looks just like Roy, minus the hair color. Also, the name Ray is… eh, I don’t know, it’s “Roy” without an “O” haha. Be careful about names. Think of what Roy and Riza would actually want to name their children. When me and my friend looked for names, we looked through hundreds and went through a lot of process of elimination. Also, nobody looks just like their parents. Every human being is unique and individual. You can have similarities, but especially with an OC, it’s very unoriginal to just have them look like their parents. Because it’s so overdone, and your Roy clone doesn’t stand out from all the other Roy clones I’ve seen, ya know? Mess around with hair and bangs and other unique physical traits. You want him to be a character that, while he looks like his parents, he also looks unique and like his own person. I can’t say too much on the boys, since I don’t really get a good sense of who they are from this. I felt like I was just kinda getting random facts thrown at me about them. I suggest making an organized bio, it’ll get your facts across and also better let people feel who they are as characters.
I’m sorry if this sounds harsh, it’s not meant to be. I understand you’ve only had your OCs for a very short amount of time, so that explains a lot of imperfections. I mean, my OCs were equally in need of a lot of improvement when I first made them. You can’t expect to get them perfect right away, it takes years. Even after 8 years, I’m still developing my same OCs. So I’m hoping all of this feedback will help you along your rode of development and be able to improve and let yourself ask questions about the things you did (:
I hope this was helpful!
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Love it. It's cute.
Though I personally still agree that it's more likely that a biological child of Riza and Roy would end up with dark hair.
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More likely but it's not really impossible, and I would've gone with black too, but genetics work in mysterious ways. Two persons with black hair can have blonde children, but two persons with very light hair cannot have black haired childred. Riza is blonde, we know her father was too, but we don't know Roy's family so anything's possible.
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No, I know that, but since I've had lessons in genetics and stuff I know what's more likely and what's not.
And you're right, because we don't know Roy's ancestry we can't be certain of anything.
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Whoever went to Jr. High knows a bit lol. I remember very well, I'm pretty sure we all know black hair is dominant (or at least I want to believe ppl know...), but let's assume one of Roy's parents was a blonde, this increases the odds a lot.
Yep, exactly.
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LAWL, many people when creating fanbabies don't put semirealistic genetics into account.
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Here's the logic. Main Character = Ultra Seme/Dominant genes = Kid Clones.
Well at least I know all of my characters until know are genetically accurate/possible.
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*looked at picture in confusion then realization comes and eyes widen and mouth hangs open in shock*
...SQUEEEEEEEEEEE~ <333 AWW SO CUTE OMG OMG OMG *flails and dies*
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Holy carp im tracking of all of these OCs lol ima start my own D:<
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I did. I also made Roy look a little like Hughes
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Yes! I will post stuff laters
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