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kevinbolk — Literary Pissing Contest

Published: 2010-03-19 20:01:04 +0000 UTC; Views: 36695; Favourites: 627; Downloads: 1685
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Description I have a confession to make.

I've never read "The Great Gatsby" or "Ulysses".

In fact, I barely know how to read. I don't even know what I'm typing right now. I'm just hitting random letters and punctuation and hoping it fools everyone fishcakes; saddlebag me dingo.

The jig, it is up.
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Comments: 155

Doodlz18 [2010-03-20 00:44:39 +0000 UTC]

HOO-HA! XD

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Omega23 [2010-03-20 00:13:50 +0000 UTC]

I learned to read when I was four since my mom read to me a lot, but I always read things at a level appropriate for my age. You get nothing out of reading books that your brain isn't capable of understanding. Saying you're intelligent because you read complicated things when you were so young you couldn't possibly know what was really going on just makes you look more like an idiot.(*Cough*StephenieMeyer*Cough*)

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MJBivouac In reply to ??? [2010-03-20 00:02:03 +0000 UTC]

Hoo-ha!

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SuperBunnyBun In reply to ??? [2010-03-19 23:51:08 +0000 UTC]

typing random buttons is fun. I tend to just hop around ontop the keyboard to type millenium hand and shrimp

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2nd-phase-idiot [2010-03-19 23:28:39 +0000 UTC]

your comment made me lawl...

'the jig, it is up'. lol

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Mic-Gold [2010-03-19 23:27:15 +0000 UTC]

New definition of one-upminship.

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Tomatosoup [2010-03-19 23:12:25 +0000 UTC]

I don't know which I liked better, the fact that you managed to use the term 'hoo-ha' in your comic or 'fishcakes' in the artist's comments below.

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TheRedGoon [2010-03-19 23:06:34 +0000 UTC]

Caught you red-handed. Now come along quietly so I can say why your humor is so awesome, and nobody will get hurt.

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Draconis-Wyrm [2010-03-19 22:17:29 +0000 UTC]

I learned to read before Kindergarten by reading the Atlas of the World, which had a huge section on outer space.

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JeremyAcorn [2010-03-19 21:50:37 +0000 UTC]

That's a committed parent right there.

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BlitzTroopa [2010-03-19 21:38:19 +0000 UTC]

Best.Comic.EVER!! Well my mom stuck the whole harry potter series up her hoo haa
just so I would be epic. By the way your going to be in my first comic

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Zombie-Rainbow [2010-03-19 21:37:33 +0000 UTC]

D: Your mum did that too?
I got "The Inferno", though. =/

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leveldup [2010-03-19 21:25:21 +0000 UTC]

Well, I beat Final Fantasy 7 when I was 7

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CorFish1001 [2010-03-19 21:24:16 +0000 UTC]

You must read "The Great Gatsby"! XD It's one of my favorite novels. It's kinda like the smut of the... 1930's I think? XD

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homestarrunnerfan345 [2010-03-19 21:03:04 +0000 UTC]

the lengths to which we will go for education.

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RainbowDogma [2010-03-19 20:47:04 +0000 UTC]

lol, we just got finish the Odyssey in my 10th grade honours English class and we just started Macbeth yesterday XD

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

kevinbolk In reply to RainbowDogma [2010-03-19 20:53:29 +0000 UTC]

Not that it even remotely matter (since either way it's still a dirty lie), but I was referring to James Joyce's Ulysses. Though I, too, had to read the Odyssey (albeit a heavily abridged textbook edition) in 10th grade. ^_^

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RainbowDogma In reply to kevinbolk [2010-03-19 22:56:24 +0000 UTC]

lol, i actually wrote Ulysses but for some reason when i spell checked there was an Odyssey option and i clicked that by accident XD cause i'm super talented like that <3

~Steot

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OnionBolt [2010-03-19 20:37:07 +0000 UTC]

I shall now randomly bash my head to the keyboeard:
llehniskcocskcusrehtomruoy

Hmm... Nothing... Guess it only works for you.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

squiddybum [2010-03-19 20:35:57 +0000 UTC]

who HOO-HA

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sisterbutters [2010-03-19 20:33:07 +0000 UTC]

My mom was a jerk and only shoved up Judy Bloom books

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vidgamer123 In reply to sisterbutters [2010-03-20 03:30:50 +0000 UTC]

I managed to WRITE my own book on the placenta called "I have no mouth and I must scream (because I'm just a fetus)."

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

The-Dragonsong In reply to ??? [2010-03-19 20:32:32 +0000 UTC]

I believe the word is, pwned :3

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misslady15 In reply to ??? [2010-03-19 20:27:40 +0000 UTC]

"My mom stuck it up her hoo-ha to give me some culture"
LMAO!!! Hilarious!

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2x2x2 [2010-03-19 20:24:41 +0000 UTC]

I still stand by my statement that it would have been REALLY awkward if you read Oedipus Rex in the womb. D:

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

dacoolcat In reply to 2x2x2 [2010-08-27 01:34:07 +0000 UTC]

this comment is win.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Onslaught14 In reply to ??? [2010-03-19 20:16:17 +0000 UTC]

Thats true motherly love!

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Sprite37 [2010-03-19 20:14:41 +0000 UTC]

Oh yeah well I read "To Kill A Mocking Bird" 3 years before I was conceived in my mother's womb. TOP THAT! XD

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Theiving-Imp In reply to Sprite37 [2010-03-19 20:17:44 +0000 UTC]

I read the bible before anything had ever happened, EVER.

I also wrote it.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

DocDaRock In reply to Theiving-Imp [2010-03-20 01:03:16 +0000 UTC]

Holy Bob!

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Gamafort [2010-03-19 20:13:06 +0000 UTC]

I'd always suspected! And I kinda feel bad about how few pieces of "classic" literature I've read. ^_^;

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Blue-PrincessK In reply to ??? [2010-03-19 20:12:01 +0000 UTC]

Win!

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Olive-Owl In reply to ??? [2010-03-19 20:10:40 +0000 UTC]

Oh WOW That was priceless!

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MellowMassa16 In reply to ??? [2010-03-19 20:09:29 +0000 UTC]

I laughed out loud "HOOHAA!"

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ldefix In reply to ??? [2010-03-19 20:07:41 +0000 UTC]

I dont think you can beat that xD

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123James [2010-03-19 20:06:28 +0000 UTC]

I'd imagine a future mom could just put a speaker to her belly and play an audio book to do that. But this works too.

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PrincessDemonica In reply to 123James [2010-09-29 00:48:16 +0000 UTC]

my boyfriend said i am to put head phones on my belly so that the baby will listen to korn and come out head banging

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Avada-kevdvra In reply to PrincessDemonica [2011-03-31 03:50:44 +0000 UTC]

Do it for justice.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

PrincessDemonica In reply to Avada-kevdvra [2011-04-02 01:25:21 +0000 UTC]

how is that justice? <:[ i don't understand?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Avada-kevdvra In reply to PrincessDemonica [2011-04-02 02:38:45 +0000 UTC]

Because headbanging babies are cool.

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PrincessDemonica In reply to Avada-kevdvra [2011-04-03 02:44:57 +0000 UTC]

but that would hurt much more... <:{ i;m the one who has to push that thing out of my who ha

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Avada-kevdvra In reply to PrincessDemonica [2011-04-03 02:54:18 +0000 UTC]

At least your baby will be epic.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

PrincessDemonica In reply to Avada-kevdvra [2011-04-03 03:29:09 +0000 UTC]

yes..but i will have a scar in a not good place <:[ but my baby will be epic anyway cause of pure gentetics :]

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chessy-cat In reply to PrincessDemonica [2010-11-29 18:02:35 +0000 UTC]

*coughcough* My brother as living proof, it works.

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PrincessDemonica In reply to chessy-cat [2010-12-01 00:18:53 +0000 UTC]

lol, your mom did that? :]

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chessy-cat In reply to PrincessDemonica [2010-12-01 04:21:56 +0000 UTC]

yes XD.

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PrincessDemonica In reply to chessy-cat [2010-12-04 03:51:18 +0000 UTC]

goodness, so now i have some questions, has your brother experienced any seizures?

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chessy-cat In reply to PrincessDemonica [2010-12-05 02:25:37 +0000 UTC]

Nope. If he has, he ain't tellin'.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

PrincessDemonica In reply to chessy-cat [2010-12-05 17:02:08 +0000 UTC]

hmmm... then i think i might :3 also does he get good grades?

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chessy-cat In reply to PrincessDemonica [2010-12-05 20:06:19 +0000 UTC]

He was considered a genius...until his sophomore year, when he found out he was funny. (He wasn't extremely, because our grandmother never let us leave the house, so in highschool he became a social butterfly) That was more from being extremely sheltered than from the music though.

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