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Description
I apologize in advance for the lengthily description:

Wow. So this is my first page of my old comic project redesigned. I worked on SO many pages for this comic before, but it really felt like the story wasn’t going anywhere. After thinking for a long time, I decided to revive it and for the first time ever-I decided to actually redraw a comic that I had already drawn. Then I was faced with the dilemma of how much I would change. I felt if I didn’t change enough, then I would feel bad for throwing years of work down the drain, however, if I changed it too much it didn’t make sense that I shouldn’t just start a brand new project. I decided to redesign two of the characters, and change the plot a little (I cut some of the slower chapters out. The pace in the script is a little fast, and quite daring, but I hope to adjust it as I go.)

Things I like:
My inclusion of a for ground (leaves and branches) as well as a background in the largest panel. The leaves themselves (I actually took a big chance by not closely referencing them, even though I have been studying trees and leaves recently just for this comic. I’m happy at how they turned out) My inclusion of dark spots. I once heard that a comic should ideally be 25% black, 25% gray, and 50% white. I think this is a bit absurd, personally, but I definitely agree that most comics don’t have NEAR enough black on them. Hence, the big black spot. Which also acts to draw you eyes down the page, and will also contrast the lighting (which will be more apparent when I have time to tone).

Things I don’t like:
The weakness of the structure. I don’t think your eye follows the page or the panels too terribly well. It also doesn’t quite have the boost I was hoping it to have (after all, first pages ARE first impressions) Her legs and some other small anatomical anomalies.

>>[link] (top left panel is the original first page of this comic. As you can see, I changed it around a lot as well as her design. But the concept is pretty much the same, as is the lettering.)

[edit]: Some tone added. I think I have to go darker in the background but I'm worried that its getting really gray and muddy. I almost liked just the inks more >>; anyway, please tell me what to fix before I finish.

[edit2:] SORRY for the resubmit Just changed the text, lightened the boxes and touched up some things. Its now considered "done".

Description
I apologize in advance for the lengthily description:

Wow. So this is my first page of my old comic project redesigned. I worked on SO many pages for this comic before, but it really felt like the story wasn’t going anywhere. After thinking for a long time, I decided to revive it and for the first time ever-I decided to actually redraw a comic that I had already drawn. Then I was faced with the dilemma of how much I would change. I felt if I didn’t change enough, then I would feel bad for throwing years of work down the drain, however, if I changed it too much it didn’t make sense that I shouldn’t just start a brand new project. I decided to redesign two of the characters, and change the plot a little (I cut some of the slower chapters out. The pace in the script is a little fast, and quite daring, but I hope to adjust it as I go.)

Things I like:
My inclusion of a for ground (leaves and branches) as well as a background in the largest panel. The leaves themselves (I actually took a big chance by not closely referencing them, even though I have been studying trees and leaves recently just for this comic. I’m happy at how they turned out) My inclusion of dark spots. I once heard that a comic should ideally be 25% black, 25% gray, and 50% white. I think this is a bit absurd, personally, but I definitely agree that most comics don’t have NEAR enough black on them. Hence, the big black spot. Which also acts to draw you eyes down the page, and will also contrast the lighting (which will be more apparent when I have time to tone).

Things I don’t like:
The weakness of the structure. I don’t think your eye follows the page or the panels too terribly well. It also doesn’t quite have the boost I was hoping it to have (after all, first pages ARE first impressions) Her legs and some other small anatomical anomalies.

>>[link] (top left panel is the original first page of this comic. As you can see, I changed it around a lot as well as her design. But the concept is pretty much the same, as is the lettering.)

[edit]: Some tone added. I think I have to go darker in the background but I'm worried that its getting really gray and muddy. I almost liked just the inks more >>; anyway, please tell me what to fix before I finish.

[edit2:] SORRY for the resubmit Just changed the text, lightened the boxes and touched up some things. Its now considered "done".