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KnightyNightey — RWBY OC - Pinot Pinabel Vinvalier
Published: 2017-04-30 19:19:03 +0000 UTC; Views: 2335; Favourites: 37; Downloads: 0
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Description
"Peace? I have no desire for such a useless thing! I'm a Vinvalier and I was born to rekindle the flames of war!"
Pinot's opinion about the world's current state.
Pinot Pinabel Vinvalier is another child of the Vinvalier family and Mourvédre's younger brother. Unlike his elder brother, this person is ruthless and will kill his opponent's with a big smile on his face.
Pinot derives from Pinot noir, which is a red wine grape variety of the species Vitis vinifera. The name may also refer to wines created predominantly from Pinot noir grapes.
Pinabel is a name belonging to a character in the Song of Roland, also known as Pinabello
Artwork was done by who once again made a fantastic piece of art, capturing the insanity of this man.
RWBY is proper property of
Pinot Pinabel Vinvalier is property of all rights to this OC go to me.
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Comments: 25
I have a gut feeling, that this guy might be bad.
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You know, other than him being "CHAOS, WAR, SPOILS OF WAR EVERYWHERE, KILL KILL KILL!", I am not sure if I can find any incentive to put any investment to this otherwise well-designed character.
Why does he spite peace? Why is he obsessed with war? Why does he imply that rekindling war itself is what he is born to do?
What sparked this?
Who sparked this?
When does it happen?
What happened? Why?
Besides those questions distracting me when looking at this character, I am kind of okay with his design, just...don't understand him and it all feel very One-dimensional and very flat as a piece of roti prata, no offense intended.
Have you ever asked yourself those questions during the conception of this particular antagonist?
Or is there a full-bio of his character that I have missed in your gallery?
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His current personality is a result of a traumatic event, which scarred him for life.
And his desire for the destruction is a mix of his trauma and the twisted ways of the Vinvaliers.
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[Scratches head] Yeeeaaaahhh...that's not really a lot to go on.
What traumatic event exactly? And what warped philosophy has he developed to make him think that this should be the answer to his so-called "desire for destruction"?
Filling a cup that has no bottom? That's not gonna get him anywhere considering war never truly goes on forever nor will peace last forever.
It's like attempting to stop a samsara without any solid means to do it or hell, even any substantial motivation as to why he wants to do it other than "Durr, peace is boring. Let's play anarchy!"
That's not quite fulfilling other than "I am so fucking disgusted at this world's weak worm feeding on its own carcass lands. My whole life is pure unfiltered hatred and rage and chaos!! I hate peace and nice flowers! BLOOD!!! " and having a sore throat while talking as if he's someone who secretly idolized Jeffrey Cuddletrousers from Hatred the Video Game.
I am not really harping on this character of yours since admittedly there is effort put in the design, but his motivation is really vague in context and his desire for war just strike me as very contrived and forced for the moment.
Also, as much as I don't want to make a list of "Things that I have no idea what it is" but... what is this "twisted ways of Vinvaliers" exactly?
If you're afraid to spoil the story content, you can always PM me since I am just curious.
And for the record, I am not sure you can just say "his mind is warped by some sick shit to make him behave like this" is gonna cut it for his character personality, that's like saying he got brainwashed when he was a little tike as if he has no passion of his own other than borrowing someone else's ideals and claim that's who he is. That's the height of self-contradicting hubris not supported by anything of his own conscience.
His motivation as an antagonist is still very weak to my eyes.
It's okay if you want to make a war-mongering character, but he has to have some form of substance to his motivation to support his character.
P.S: Sorry if you find me a bit harsh, but I am often quite critical when I am distracted by things that don't seem to add up to a potential good character.
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I guess I should've evaluated his character a wee bit more, so I understand your inquiry.
I would send you a note later, giving you proper details on him.
Thank you for this review, it was quite interesting to read
(Due to playing Dark souls, I tend to write things cryptic, as the lore within said game is as confusing as it can get)
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So long as the character's motivations and transition towards how they behaved are defined properly and make sense, I can buy into even a psychotic child murderer despite wishing such a person would rather get his bloody comeuppance ASAP by heroes.
I am just one of those guys that easily gets bothered by elements that don't add up or isn't there because I always thought pointing them out would make writers/creators learn to improve without spoonfeeding them with sweet sugar-coated fluff. It's sorta like Chinese parenting (I am chinese btw) but way way less nightmarish and punishing since it's just text advice after all.
Anyway, I look forward to the note, buddy. Being a writer myself it's always good to see what others made and actually pour effort into it and actually wanting to improve instead of shoving me off when I am just trying to fill some blanks to reassure something with potential is serviceable.
And cryptic is good, but find a balance between intentionally vague or outright just don't tell because Destiny did this wrong and the narrative suffered heavily for it, both worldbuilding and plot. So...yeah.
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Read it. I at least understand them better now.
I will say that it's not the best type of exposition I've seen but it's still serviceable at least.
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Still in development, so changes will be made or added. Thanks for the review
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No problem, so long as revision is made, I don't care how long it took as long as it's done.
...unlike some triple A cock-burger games I grew tired of hearing every year...
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With a rather...venomous personality.
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Pinot! You're not yourself when you're hungry!
*Throws him a snickers bar*
Better?
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*Drenched in blood after murdering several opponents and happily eating snickers*
"Better."
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"You're gonna need more snickers bars..."
*firing Snickers bars in all direction*
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welcome and do you roleplay cuz i'll like to be friends with u and i'll need pointers on making effective villians
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I can tell he's unstable just by his hair. Only the unhinged shave half.
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Well. A slaughter of your own kin can drive you to such extends. Others break, some run away. Others inflict harm upon themselves to deal with the trauma.
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Aye. But unlike Tyrian, Pinot doesn't laugh that much.
He just smiles much, while ripping out the insides of his victims.
Tyrian was a marvelous inspiration for him
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