HOME | DD

Description
Every time I think of it,
My heart begins to beat faster,
I get that fluttery feeling;
An adrenaline rush.

I catch a glimpse of it,
In the corner of my eye,
I try to stop myself,
Too late.
I grab for it.
I feel calmer
With it in my palm.

The knife-edge glimmers
With a deadly beauty,
In the fading light.
It tempts me
With its evil power,
I know what it can do.

I promised myself I’d stop,
But every time I try to leave,
It pulls me back with its call,
Ever stronger,
Faster,
Louder.
I can’t resist.
I’m addicted!

I pull up my sleeves,
And grip the handle tighter,
I give in.
The first cut runs deep,
But it’s not enough,
I need more.
I tear into my flesh again,
This time deeper.
More crimson blood pours out,
But I can’t stop.

I can feel it stinging,
But I don’t care.
I remember this feeling so well,
My lust for pain,
Devouring me,
It’s taken over,
I’ve lost control.

I keep cutting frantically,
In all directions,
I never meant it to go this far.
I start to feel dizzy,
Faint.
I can still see the blood surging out,
My carpet,
Turning red,
My vision
Fading.
I look at my arm,
‘What have I done?!’
I drop the knife,
I reach for something,
Anything.
I know it’s too late,
As I feel my life,
Slowly draining away,
And the room,
Fades to black.