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Published: 2012-06-05 17:57:42 +0000 UTC; Views: 1349; Favourites: 27; Downloads: 4
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Loki remained in his chambers, refusing the company of his brother, father, and even his mother. He had been so close to dominating that cursed planet called Earth. If only Thor hadn't stopped him. If he had attempted this at an earlier time, Thor would have had no problem whatsoever with him doing so. All he ever cared about now what that "precious" Midgardian woman, Jane. Before Thor had met her, he actually liked Loki. Thor would always end up staring at Loki in a not very brotherly way, and Loki enjoyed it. After he and Loki arrived back from Midgard after Loki had attempted to take over Earth, he was punished by having his lips sewn shut so he could no longer trick anybody. Also, he was unable to speak the truth as to why he actually tried to dominate Midgard. Loki had been sitting in the middle of his monstrous viking style bed, waiting for the appearance of his brother. As usual, Thor came knocking on his door, which Loki found quite stupid. It wasn't like he could call out to him to let Thor know he was in or if he may enter or not. Though, Loki was quite curious as to why his brother still came to him to talk to him. After all he had done to his "precious" Earth, Thor still acted like his happy-go-lucky self, carefree and smiling. So, like he does every night, Thor rushes into Loki's bedroom and begins babbling on about all the wondrous adventures he had that day. Loki could only nod his head after every few sentences to make it seem like he cared about what his half-brother was talking about. Loki had no interest until his brother brought up the stitches that kept him silent. " Father says that if you behave like you have been doing, he may relieve you of your punishment! Isn't that great, brother?!" Loki found it silly that Thor still referred to him as brother, yet he knows they are not. Anyways, Loki quirked an eyebrow at this statement. He was actually quite happy that he could get this dreaded muzzle off and remove the stitches from his lips. They kept a muzzle over his mouth at all times so if he did try to open his mouth, he would not be covered in blood and it kept him from pulling at the thin wire and trying to remove them himself, actually having the risk of tearing his lip open. "Mhh Mhhf Mnnh..." Loki could only reply with a few hums and he tried his best to not smile, to wanting to pull the stitches. Thor smiled at the response he got fro his brother and looked out onto the balcony, realizing it was actually very late in the night. Thor leaned down and pressed his lips to the soft pale skin of Loki's cheek before turning to leave and return to his chambers. Loki watched with sad eyes as his brother left, unable to ask him to remain there. Loki only pulled one of the larger furs that covered his bed over his body and slipped into a light sleep. His dream was filled with happiness, laughter, and...Thor.Related content
Comments: 6
beatrix099 [2018-08-17 21:15:27 +0000 UTC]
I think you’re a great writer and should consider to continue this story
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Vinctia [2012-06-08 08:55:27 +0000 UTC]
Constructive criticism time!
I only got one negative about this, the rest is positive stuff :3 It's the fact it's a wall of text. It gets a little hard to read and remember which line is the next, and which line you just read.
Try separating the lines and make columns of text, instead of a big wall. It's easier to read and it looks good :3 Kinda like this comment. I've separated one-two-three lines each, to make it easier to read for all.
If you have no idea how to cut up your story, try looking at other stories around the internet. Most give a nice example on how and where it's best to cut :3
If you're still unsure how, give me a poke. I'll gladly help another writer in need ^^
Now for the positives: GAG! GAGGAGGAGGAGGAG!
...Yup, I love gags
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
L1v1ng-D34d-G1rl In reply to Vinctia [2012-06-08 20:56:19 +0000 UTC]
Thanks so much for the advice ^_^
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
L1v1ng-D34d-G1rl In reply to xCrystal-Phoenix [2012-06-05 19:01:42 +0000 UTC]
I will try. But I'm having a bit of writers block.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0