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[Hey Jewel! Long time no see!]
[I know we haven’t talked in a while,]
[but I thought of you the moment I saw this.]

Julie was rereading a handwritten note. It had been in an envelope inside the package that arrived for her yesterday. Of all the days for a present like this to arrive, it had to be a day she was gone visiting family.

[I was traveling through Berlin when I found the most bizarre shop.]
[It was full of magical devices like the ones we studied about.]
[I spent a bit more than I would have liked on all things I got there,]
[but I’m not complaining!]

Julie again imagined the astonishing and weird things that her friend could have purchased. When the device she let go of is an enchanted guillotine, what else could have caught her eye?

[After the shopkeeper explained what this did,]
[our tipsy-top drunk conversation came to mind!]
[(the one where you flashed me - YOU of all people!)]

Julie crossed an arm around her chest. She liked being left alone, but her breasts ensured she received a lot of attention, and most of it was unwanted. Dressing modestly did not help. Even now, she was wearing a white button-up collared shirt and a cerulean V-neck sweater, but her cleavage was still visible.

“We did drink two bottles of wine between us,” she thought. “We talked for ages about being able to take these things off of our chests.”

[I hope to be back in town in a few months.]
[It’s been too long since we have had a drinking night between us.]
[Until then, have fun losing your head over this!]
[Besties Forever!]
[Wanda]
[P.S: there’s a trick to this thing,]
[and the trick isn’t that it doesn’t harm you when it cuts you;]
[that’s a feature. Take a risk, Jewel. -W]

Julie lowered the note and looked to the compact guillotine she had set up on the table. It was little more than a hollow picture frame about three feet wide and two feet tall. It was thick enough to stand upright on its own. The blade was down and blocked the entire opening. There were two buttons with emblems on top of the frame. There was the small button with an emblem of an arrow pointing up; the other, much larger button showcased a picture of scissors. Other than the button placement, the white kitchen-like device looked the same from both sides.

“Wanda...this is just like you,” she said in a hush. There were no instructions; either Wanda forgot them or there weren’t any in the first place. Nor were there warnings or markings on the box; no company logo, no product name, only plain cardboard. “Asking me to dive in without any idea what I’m getting into.”

She set the note down on the table. She turned to the trash can and rummaged through the contents of the fresh bag yet again. No thrown out instructions or clues. Only a large crinkled wad of bubble wrap and two small pieces of styrofoam packaging.

She stood up and moved the trash can against the wall behind the table. Julie picked up the note and skimmed it one last time. “Have fun losing your head over this, huh? Is that your idea of a hint?”

Julie’s fingertips grazed her neck. She gulped, then dropped the note next to her perplexing present. “It is a guillotine after all.”

[It is my -head- after all. I’m attached to keeping it.]

This thought did not stop her from taking small steps until her waist was against the table. She tried to slide the device, but it wouldn’t budge. Picking it up and setting it down again proved to be much easier. She pressed the arrow button.

**vvvrrrrrrrrrrclick!**

The guillotine whirred to life instantly. The blade raised in a fluid motion. It took less than a second. The rest of the device remained motionless.

[I am not going to stick my head through there. What else...]

Julie looked down at her body. She was overly conscious of herself due to the looming thought that drove her self-inspection; ‘Which part of me am I willing to cut off?’

She thrust out her chest. Julie glanced between the opening of the guillotine and her breasts. She gauged that she could fit them through the frame. Her face turned inward, as though she had started eating something sour.

[Debreasting myself -is- why she bought this for me, but...that was a drunken joke. I’d rather lose a hand than my head or my tits.]

Julie paused.

[Wait. Lose a hand?]

Julie stared at her hands. She turned them and wiggled her fingers. She curled them into fists. It took effort for her to release her grip.

[Can I do this? I wish I knew more about this. My hand will still be there, just on the other side of the blade...and not attached to me...]

She brought her hands down. She hesitated to put one through the opening. Her eyes were trained on the blade. She pulled down the sleeve of her blue sweater, exposing her wrist.

[Wanda said it wouldn’t hurt me...]

Julie put her left hand through the frame until her wrist was past the blade. She felt the tingles of anxiety creep through her skin.

[You can do this. She said take a risk. I can put my hand back on, it will be right there. Trust her.]

After taking a deep breath and letting it out, Julie placed her right hand on the large scissors button. Her eyes squeezed shut as her fingertips pressed it in.

**vvvrrrrrrrrrrrvvvvlink!**

Julie did not see the guillotine do its quick work. She did feel it; a moment of nearly painful pressure. She was slow to open her eyes, slower to look at her limb. Her mind tried to process how her arm ended at the plate of metal.

[I...my arm...my hand...]

Julie took two steps back, then a third. She focused on her breathing. Looking at her arm without her wrist or hand attached put her through a whirlwind of thoughts and feelings. Another shock came when she tried to flex her severed appendage.

[I cannot feel it at all...like it was never there.]

She stepped forward to raise the blade. She forgot her hand was gone; her shortened limb touched nothing but air when she first tried to hit the button. Julie gave a nerve-tweaked smile, then awkwardly poked her stump into it instead.

**vvvrrrrrrrrrrclick!**

Julie could see the flat stump on her severed hand. There was no blood or bone. The stump looked like the rounded plastic of a mannequin. Her hand itself still looked alive.

There were no words as she reached in and grabbed her inert hand. It felt heavier. It felt close to the same as it always did when she held her hands together...until she tried to intertwine her fingers. The one-sided response from her nerves sent a shiver down her spine.

[This is like...almost like...]

But what it was like never came to her. She stared off into space, frustrated that there was nothing she could compare this to. She wracked her brain for minutes but came up empty. She gave up on the train of thought and looked down.

[Oh...I haven’t put my hand back yet...*can* I put my hand back?]

Julie brought her sliced hand and arm close together. She lined up her limbs as best as she could, took a breath, and pressed the halves together. Sensation returned to her hand so quickly that Julie jumped with a gasp. “Oh!”

She flexed her fingers, rotated her wrist, curled her hand back and forth, and shook it in the air. A smile graced her face.

[All back to normal! That wasn’t so bad!]

Her hand-twirling came to a slow stop. She was looking at the raised blade and the inviting opening beneath it. Julie fidgeted with the sleeves of her sweater, then folded her hands over her chest. Her lips drew taunt to a thin line, but her eyes were sparkling.

[It doesn’t hurt...I’m back together in one piece as easy as I was cut up...]

Her hands slid up. She opened them and slid her fingers around the back of her neck.

[I couldn’t really *lose* my head...it would sit right there until I came back for it...]

Julie was already pulling her long straight black hair off of her back and over one shoulder. Another small voice was trying to creep in to make her think about what she was going to do to herself. For once, Julie refused to give it any space.

[...it is no different than cutting off a hand...I did that just fine...]

Her thoughts were interrupted by her breasts hitting the edge of the table. She had bent over and was guiding her head to the guillotine subconsciously. Julie opted to move the device closer instead of squashing her breasts flat. She had to use effort to lift it from the table; it wouldn’t slide at all. She placed it flush with the table corner. The thought of the device falling didn’t cross her mind.

[Wanda, I’m taking this risk for you...]

Julie put her head through the opening. She looped her hands around to pull her hair away from the blade. Most of it hung over the side of the table. She looked and felt around to make sure the blade was lined up with her neck.

[Hell, I’m taking a risk for *me*.]

She inhaled deeply and held her breath. One hand gripped the table. Her other hand made a hesitant trek to the button. Once she found it, she paused. Julie fought the paralysis that tried to set in.

[Three...two...]

Julie squinted her eyes shut and pressed the button.

*vvvrrrrrrrrrrrvvvvli-*

The shock of the rapid descent of the blade. The smooth ease the blade glides through with. The hard pressure inside of her neck. The sound, louder on the inside. The slight up-tilting of her head as the decapitation is completed. All of this happened in a single second.

Julie noticed the silence first. The sudden lack of sound was eerie to her. She tried opening her eyes but the unbroken blackness remained. She made a hesitant step back with her hand in a vice grip on the table. The familiar weight on her neck did not follow her. Failure was all she tasted when she tried feeling her teeth with her tongue or opening her mouth; yet, she tried speaking, and only noticed the missing vibration of her vocal cords for the effort.

[I...this...can’t...]

She tried to stand up. Julie staggered a few half-steps left before falling against the table. It slid a few inches before stopping and supporting her weight.

The rapid shove from Julie’s fall *should* have sent the guillotine tumbling off of the edge of the table. However, it remained in place, and acted as though it was mounted to the wood.

Julie’s neck was still against the blade when Julie struck the table. When the table slid to a stop, her head did not. It slid across the table. Her hair (already over the edge) pulled her rolling head sideways. Julie’s head flew off the table in a perfect arc into the trash can. The can wobbled but stayed upright. A few black locks of hair peeked out of the top, but slid down the bag in moments.

[hard...stand...my...can’t]

Julie continued leaning on the table. Her legs struggled to get her feet planted on the ground. She put her hands on the table and pushed, both to stand nearly straight and to keep her balance.

[Good...steady...but...wonder]

Her left arm tensed up. She lifted her right hand from the table. Julie started to tilt; her hand came back down. She shifted her position and tried again. She raised her hand at a timid rate. Her fingertips came closer, inch by inch, to where her face used to be. She stopped when her hand felt unfamiliar skin on an unrecognizable place. It took her some time to realize it was the top of her severed neck stump.

[Soft...tender...edges?]

The center of her neck felt like normal skin. The clean circular edge, however, felt almost like plastic. She rubbed her stump while she tried to think of what she was like, but the word ‘mannequin’ would not come to her. Julie happened to stroke against what was now the top of her spine. She shuddered as a warm tingling spread through her.

[Mmmm...that...pleasant]

Julie nearly lost her balance. She caught herself with the table again. As the tingling dissipated, she noticed a different feeling.

[pee...need...where...]

If she had her head, Julie would have wanted to put her head back on her neck by now. Anxiety and worry and fear always seemed to control her analytical mind. But being without her head left her without the nagging thoughts, the complicated fears, or the endless questions her mind brought with it. Only simple thoughts were coming through to her now.

[bathroom...where...how?]

She took a step back. She let go of the table. She stepped back again. Though she swayed on her feet for a moment, Julie retained her balance.

[table...kitchen...hallway?]

The pressure she felt in her bladder was constant. Her restrained thought bandwidth could only handle that task. Since she knew her surroundings, Julie did not need to see to use the bathroom. Her one-tracked mind did not think of her head first because her head was not needed for this. She could get to a bathroom without it.

Julie turned to her right. She raised her arms loosely in front of herself with her hands tilted up and her fingers spread apart. She began to walk forward in measured steps. Julie wobbled as she walked from the kitchen through the TV room.

[couch...door...couch...door]

Her hands missed the couch. Her legs did not. Julie wound up bent over the back of the couch with her hands on the seat cushions.

[door?...can...make...]

She used the couch to stand up straight again. The headless beauty turned and continued her off-balance walk. She was confident she was heading the right way.

[door...bathroom...here]

Julie managed to take a path straight to the door. She patted down the wood to find the knob, turned it, and swayed her way in.

As the bathroom door clicked closed, the front door of the apartment opened.

——————————

Miranda walked into the apartment with her head down and her face glued to her phone. She held a thick stack of mail in her other hand, so she used her shoulder to push the front door closed.

“Hey Jewels, are you back from your trip?”

No answer. Miranda shrugged, locked her phone, put it in her pocket, then locked the front door. She walked to the kitchen while thumbing through the mail.

“No mysterious boxes today...just this usual junk.”

Miranda was only a few feet away from the trick guillotine, but she was focused on the mail in front of her face. She heard a toilet flush. Her head instinctually turned to the source of the noise.

“Oh, Julie *is* here. I guess she didn’t hear me earlier.”

She was facing away from the table. She finished scanning the mail to find out it was all advertising and addressed to CURRENT RESIDENT. Miranda saw the trash can in the corner of her eye. She turned enough to toss the stack of unwanted trash into the can.

“Bullseye.”

Miranda turned to the refrigerator and opened the freezer. As she scanned the options (with none looking appealing), the door to the bathroom opened. The freezer door was low enough to block her view of the bathroom.

“Hey Jewels,” Miranda said. She did not bother looking away as she swapped from the freezer to the fridge. “How was the trip?”

No response again. Miranda finally looked out of the kitchen. The bathroom door was open. Julie was out of sight, but Miranda could hear her walking through the TV room. Her footsteps sounded slower and heavier than usual.

“Maybe she got sick on her trip,” Miranda mumbled to herself. “Poor thing.”

She settled on the lunch meat and cheese. She pulled both from the fridge. She closed the door with her foot as she turned to the table. Miranda finally saw the trick guillotine and the note that had been there all along.

“What the...HEY JULIE?”

She waited with her head titled towards the ceiling. After a few seconds of silence, Miranda huffed and dropped her shoulders. She dropped the package of sliced ham and the bundle of sliced cheese on the table. She stared at the guillotine for several seconds before reaching for the letter.

“Well, if you’re not going to talk to me about whatever *this* thing is, I’m going to find out for myself,” she said, at a volume loud enough for her alone to hear.

Miranda finished reading the letter and began it again before she heard footsteps. She was still scanning the note as she heard Julie approach the kitchen.

“Hey, sorry I read your letter, I wanted to know what this *thing* was, but you didNO MY *GOD!*”

Miranda was frozen on the spot. Her jaw was dropped. Her light brown eyes bulged. Her hand clenched crinkles into the note. She started to fall backwards, but the back wall of the kitchen was right behind her. She remained leaned against the wall, thankful for the help to stand while seeing what she was seeing.

The woman was definitely Julie. She recognized the blue sweater, and there was no mistaking Jewel’s massive chest. But Julie had a big problem; she had been beheaded. There was a flat disc of skin where her head should have been. The missing head was nowhere to be seen.

Miranda slowly turned her head to look at the guillotine, and as slowly, turned it back to Julie. Her mouth remained stuck in an ‘O’ of shock throughout.

Julie had her hands out in front of her. Her fingers curled at irregular intervals; her steps forward were staggered. She found the kitchen counter, then started to open cabinets. She hobbled a bit to the left or to the right each time she reached up to grab something from the shelves. Everything grabbed was put back.

Miranda gained composure of her face. A crinkle of paper reminded her of the note she was holding. She skimmed the note while keeping an eye on her maimed friend.

“Well, I guess you lost your head over this gift after all,” Miranda said. She giggled, then chuckled, then laughed merrily. She laughed a long time at this stale joke, releasing the fear and tension she had built in the first few potent moments Julie had scared her.

The cabinets abandoned and open, Julie stepped back from the counter. Miranda laughed again as Julie tried to turn around without falling over. Julie turned nearly around before walking straight with hesitant hands, unsure if she would find the table or the fridge.

An idea struck Miranda with enough force to plant a large grin on her face. She pulled out her phone. Ten seconds later, she was recording video from the entrance to the one-door kitchen. “Hey ~Juuulieee~,” Miranda cooed for the recording.

Julie continued her search of the kitchen. She was feeling the lunch meat package on the table. She dropped it, patted her hands on the table again, and found the cheese. She rolled it without lifting it.

“What are you ~looooking fooor?~” More giggles echoed from Miranda. She eased closer to the doorway for a better angle.

Julie’s roaming hands found the guillotine. She remained still for a few seconds before she scoured the table near the dropped guillotine blade. Nothing. She held the table as she got down on her knees. She crawled under the kitchen table. Her arms swayed and swatted in wide arcs.

Miranda crouched down. The phone camera was trained on Julie. “*Gee WHIZ,* Jewels, you must have lost something ~reeeaally impooortant~!” She stifled her laughter; it was shaking the video too much.

Julie managed to crawl in a circle to the front of the refrigerator. She got into a kneeling position. She raised her arms to find the fridge handle, then tried to use it to stand. After some shaky legwork, Julie blindly rummaged through the freezer, then the fridge.

“What’s the *matter*?” Miranda was taking steady steps backwards. She wanted this video to go as long as she could. She couldn’t risk Jewels touching her and spoiling the fun. She could help her friend find her head later. But now was showtime. “You can’t remember where you put your ~poooor liiittle heeeaaad?~ Hehehehe!”

Though Julie had forgotten to close the cabinets, she did remember to close the fridge. Her hands were empty. Her first step out of the kitchen was small; her second step almost tripped her. She caught herself with a quick series of small steps that made her chest jiggle. She swayed on towards her bedroom, her hands extended and fidgeting.

Miranda kept the video on her. She stood in one place behind the couch. She turned to keep her helpless subject in camera. Miranda called out as Julie bumped her shoulder into the frame of her bedroom door. “You should ~reeeaaally~ watch where you’re *going*.”

The video played on. Five seconds. Ten seconds. Random noise from the bedroom. 15 seconds. Just as Miranda was going to break the silence, Julie stumbled out of the bedroom. She stood there this way, rubbing and shifting and placing her hands on and around her neck.

You should *think* ~loooong and haaard*~ about where you put it,” Miranda crooned. “I don’t have a spare head just *lying around*!”

Julie put one hand out to find some part of her surroundings. With a hand still rubbing her neck, she ambled her way to the bathroom.

Miranda stopped the recording once Julie entered the bathroom. She was running out of witty things to say. Her stomach rumbled.

“Time to make that sandwich. GOOD LUCK, JEWELS!” She cackled as she walked back to the kitchen. She grabbed bread from the open cabinets and closed them all. She looked at the guillotine while she stacked cheese and meat.

[The note explains a lot about this situation Julie is in. But what exactly does it do?]

A loud thud caused Miranda to look up. Julie had swung open the door of the bathroom a bit hard. After some idle neck rubbing, she wandered in the TV room.

Miranda could hear books and picture frames being moved on the shelves. She picked up her sandwich and took a large bite. Her eyes were stuck on the buttons of the guillotine. She ate half of the sandwich staring at the device and listening to her headless friend’s fruitless dithering.

[Until she remembers the safe place she put her head, I have to figure out what you do on my own.]

Miranda chomped another mouthful and dropped the sandwich on her plate. She pressed each of the buttons, looked around it for other clues or functions, then tried to slide it. It didn’t budge. Miranda lifted it and held it up.

[The base of this thing...is it like magnets?]

She turned to the back wall of the kitchen. She tilted the guillotine until the base faced away from her, then pressed it against the wall. She loosened her grip by degrees, waiting for it to fall, but it stayed on the wall unsupported.

[But the walls, the table...they’re wood. How is it sticking?]

A door creaked shut until it was closed. Miranda knew the sound. Julie had returned to her room and was planning to stay there, at least for a minute.

Miranda grabbed the guillotine. She pulled it from the wall with minor difficulty. She raised it in the air. She held it neck-high then pushed it against the wall again. It stayed in place, defying gravity.

[Maybe I should wait...it might be better if we knew where Julie’s head was first.]

She half-turned to the kitchen doorway. If Julie was still active, she couldn’t hear it.

[Fuck it. I want to try this thing out for myself. It’s not like she waited for me, either.]

Miranda pressed the arrow button. The blade slid out in a flash. She ducked under the magically mounted guillotine, looked up for the opening, then stood up straight. Miranda gulped at the blade now aimed at her neck.

[Thank goodness I got a pixie cut last week, right?]

The thought didn’t make her smile, but her excitement remained. The unknown thrill fueled Miranda in ways Julie would never understand.

She stood straight with her back against the wall. She gripped the side of the device as she searched for the scissors button on the bottom side. Before she could find it, she heard footsteps.

“Julie?” Miranda knew she couldn’t hear her, but the impulse to speak to her was ingrained. “Didn’t you close your door?”

Julie turned the corner to the kitchen once more. She had taken off her cerulean sweater. The top button of her white collared shirt was missing. The shirt was undone to her bra. She was moving slower, and her hands were close to her sides.

Miranda was fixated on her friend. To her, it did not look like Julie was searching anymore. She looked...comfortable.

Julie put her hand lightly on the counter. She walked with patient ease by using the surface as her guide. It was too late for Miranda to move by the time she realized Julie had her cornered. Jewel’s hand recoiled when first touching her.

“Hey, you found me,” Miranda said. She glanced between the guillotine around her neck and the empty space on the neck of her roommate. She swallowed. “Good job, heh.”

Julie touched Miranda again. She lifted her hand from the counter. Soon her hands were all over Miranda’s right hand and arm.

She let her do it. “Trying to decide who I am?” Miranda giggled.

Her headless friend had reached her shoulders on a path to feel her face. The back of Julie’s hands bumped the guillotine.

“I swear I asked you if I could use it, you just didn’t hear me,” Miranda joked.

Her hands did not stay idle for long. She raised her hands above the device. Julie held Miranda’s face with tender fingers. In a few seconds, Julie drew back her hands. She waved a blind hello. She pointed to herself, then to her missing head, then pointed to Miranda.

“Hello! You know it’s me, huh? Is...is that what you mean?”

Jewels was back to touching the guillotine. She was only holding it for a while.

“Yeah, it sticks to walls somehow. Go figure.”

What Julie did next impressed her; she asked Miranda a question. She pointed at Miranda, then dragged two fingers across her neck, and finished with a hands-up shrug. ‘Are you cutting your head off?’

Miranda did not speak. She held Julie by the wrists. She drew Julie’s hands to the sides of her head and pressed them to it. Miranda could feel Julie get a good grip.

“Good. Hold it tight.” She traced her fingertips on the device until she found the buttons. “I don’t want you to lose mine, too.”

Julie, as usual, did not respond.

Miranda filled her lungs and pressed the button. In one instant, she could see the blade lunging at her neck. In the next instant, she could feel nothing above the cold steel on top of her stump. Her hands were immobile claws on twitching arms. She arched her back against the wall.

Julie felt the sudden departure of Miranda’s presence from her head. Muscles with tension seemed to disappear. There was no more resistance or movement from what she was holding. She lifted it up. Her arms stayed straight. She turned to her right with rigid limbs. She stumbled when lowering Miranda’s head to the table, but managed to keep hold of it.

Miranda was sliding down the wall. Her chest rose and fell in a stable and steady pace. Her spine rolled with her unneeded breaths. She ended up kneeling as she dropped down. She hesitated as she brought her hands to her neck.

Julie had turned Miranda’s head to face it away from her. She cupped the head in both hands. She rotated it as she lifted. She lined up the neck of the head as best as she could before planting the halves together. The connection was instant.

“Oh thank god that works, holy shit,” Julie exclaimed. She looked down at herself; her hands, her open shirt, the table in front of her. “Was the wood always this color?”

Miranda did not know. She was using the wall to slide herself up again, one hand still over her neck in disbelief she had beheaded herself. Her other hand felt for the guillotine on the wall and found it. She turned herself around to face it. She felt the top of it, sliding her hands across the blade. There was nothing there. Where was her head?

“Hey Miranda, are you missing something? I know the feeling.” Julie chortled, then looked around the kitchen. “Where did my head...get...to.”

Julie was looking at the trash can. Her memory worked fine; she knew she didn’t check it when she was headless. She never touched it. Julie stepped towards it and began lifting out the junk mail.

Miranda realized Julie had to have taken her head somewhere. She wanted her to hold it still, not take off with it! Miranda guessed that Julie had left the kitchen with it and acted on her guess immediately. Stumbling across the kitchen in a hope to catch up with Julie caused Miranda to miss her standing by the fridge. She moved too fast to manage and lost her balance. Miranda sprawled as she fell to the floor by the couch in the TV room.

Julie heard the thud but did not turn. She barely registered there was a sound at all. She was standing slowly, raising her own head from the trash can.

Her own hair. Her own eyes. Her own lips. Her own ears. Her own cheeks. Her own nose. Her own jaw. They were in her hands. She was expecting to be elated she found it. But looking at it was...eerie. She couldn’t wrap her brain (or was it her friend’s brain?) around seeing her own head this way.

“Let’s get you back where you belong.”

Julie took her time removing her friend’s head and replacing her own. She did so uninterrupted. Miranda had recovered from her fall, but had not tried standing. She was crawling on the floor between the couch and the TV, hoping to catch any sign of where Julie could be. She moved on her knees as she flailed her arms across the couch.

“Mmm,” Julie hummed. “Gave me a heart attack again, Wanda.” She shook her head, her *own* head, and was thankful for the waves of hair on her shoulders. A thought crossed her mind. Her smile dwindled.

“Why was my head in the trash can?”

She looked at Miranda’s head on the table.

“Did Miranda...”

It is not that Julie did not remember that she had fallen into the table after beheading herself. She remembered doing that just fine. But Julie did not know that the fall was what had thrown her head into the garbage bin.

“You pulled out food to make a sandwich...you saw the guillotine, even moved it...you knew I was home. My head was on the table!”

Surprisingly, Julie laughed. She picked up Miranda’s lifeless head. There was a sway in her hips and a bounce in her chest as she walked into the TV room. She saw Miranda’s slender body trying to stand up with the help of their bookshelf.

“Very funny prank, Miranda. Throw Julie’s head in the trash, she doesn’t use it anyway, har har har.”

Miranda got herself upright. She was quick to turn to the center of the room and attempt to walk. She made two wild steps but managed to catch her balance. Her arms moved without purpose.

“I bet you even took a video of it. Always the prankster, but never the one to get pranked.”

Miranda attempted another risky step and wound up on all fours in front of Julie’s door. She was quick to try getting her feet under her but faltered again. She used the wall to hobble down the short hallway to her own bedroom.

“I think you were right, Miranda. You should throw your head away if you’re not using it.” Julie spun around and almost skipped to the kitchen. She held her roommate’s head over the trash can and dropped it. It landed on the junk mail with a satisfying thump.

She strolled into the TV room in time to see Miranda stagger out of the hallway like a zombie. Her poor friend struck her knee against the couch on her way to the bathroom.

“Don’t worry, it shouldn’t take you too long to find your head.” She sauntered over to her bedroom door. Her eyes never left her friend.

Miranda took tiny baby steps to the wall, then used the wall to get to the bathroom. Her hand was back on her split neck.

“After all, I left it right where you left mine. Have fun!” Julie giggled as Miranda closed the bathroom door. She opened her bedroom door and stepped inside, but paused.

She rushed to the kitchen in a flash. She came out of it with the trick guillotine in her arms. Julie stepped through the door, kicking it shut behind her. She locked it a moment later.

Description
[Hey Jewel! Long time no see!]
[I know we haven’t talked in a while,]
[but I thought of you the moment I saw this.]

Julie was rereading a handwritten note. It had been in an envelope inside the package that arrived for her yesterday. Of all the days for a present like this to arrive, it had to be a day she was gone visiting family.

[I was traveling through Berlin when I found the most bizarre shop.]
[It was full of magical devices like the ones we studied about.]
[I spent a bit more than I would have liked on all things I got there,]
[but I’m not complaining!]

Julie again imagined the astonishing and weird things that her friend could have purchased. When the device she let go of is an enchanted guillotine, what else could have caught her eye?

[After the shopkeeper explained what this did,]
[our tipsy-top drunk conversation came to mind!]
[(the one where you flashed me - YOU of all people!)]

Julie crossed an arm around her chest. She liked being left alone, but her breasts ensured she received a lot of attention, and most of it was unwanted. Dressing modestly did not help. Even now, she was wearing a white button-up collared shirt and a cerulean V-neck sweater, but her cleavage was still visible.

“We did drink two bottles of wine between us,” she thought. “We talked for ages about being able to take these things off of our chests.”

[I hope to be back in town in a few months.]
[It’s been too long since we have had a drinking night between us.]
[Until then, have fun losing your head over this!]
[Besties Forever!]
[Wanda]
[P.S: there’s a trick to this thing,]
[and the trick isn’t that it doesn’t harm you when it cuts you;]
[that’s a feature. Take a risk, Jewel. -W]

Julie lowered the note and looked to the compact guillotine she had set up on the table. It was little more than a hollow picture frame about three feet wide and two feet tall. It was thick enough to stand upright on its own. The blade was down and blocked the entire opening. There were two buttons with emblems on top of the frame. There was the small button with an emblem of an arrow pointing up; the other, much larger button showcased a picture of scissors. Other than the button placement, the white kitchen-like device looked the same from both sides.

“Wanda...this is just like you,” she said in a hush. There were no instructions; either Wanda forgot them or there weren’t any in the first place. Nor were there warnings or markings on the box; no company logo, no product name, only plain cardboard. “Asking me to dive in without any idea what I’m getting into.”

She set the note down on the table. She turned to the trash can and rummaged through the contents of the fresh bag yet again. No thrown out instructions or clues. Only a large crinkled wad of bubble wrap and two small pieces of styrofoam packaging.

She stood up and moved the trash can against the wall behind the table. Julie picked up the note and skimmed it one last time. “Have fun losing your head over this, huh? Is that your idea of a hint?”

Julie’s fingertips grazed her neck. She gulped, then dropped the note next to her perplexing present. “It is a guillotine after all.”

[It is my -head- after all. I’m attached to keeping it.]

This thought did not stop her from taking small steps until her waist was against the table. She tried to slide the device, but it wouldn’t budge. Picking it up and setting it down again proved to be much easier. She pressed the arrow button.

**vvvrrrrrrrrrrclick!**

The guillotine whirred to life instantly. The blade raised in a fluid motion. It took less than a second. The rest of the device remained motionless.

[I am not going to stick my head through there. What else...]

Julie looked down at her body. She was overly conscious of herself due to the looming thought that drove her self-inspection; ‘Which part of me am I willing to cut off?’

She thrust out her chest. Julie glanced between the opening of the guillotine and her breasts. She gauged that she could fit them through the frame. Her face turned inward, as though she had started eating something sour.

[Debreasting myself -is- why she bought this for me, but...that was a drunken joke. I’d rather lose a hand than my head or my tits.]

Julie paused.

[Wait. Lose a hand?]

Julie stared at her hands. She turned them and wiggled her fingers. She curled them into fists. It took effort for her to release her grip.

[Can I do this? I wish I knew more about this. My hand will still be there, just on the other side of the blade...and not attached to me...]

She brought her hands down. She hesitated to put one through the opening. Her eyes were trained on the blade. She pulled down the sleeve of her blue sweater, exposing her wrist.

[Wanda said it wouldn’t hurt me...]

Julie put her left hand through the frame until her wrist was past the blade. She felt the tingles of anxiety creep through her skin.

[You can do this. She said take a risk. I can put my hand back on, it will be right there. Trust her.]

After taking a deep breath and letting it out, Julie placed her right hand on the large scissors button. Her eyes squeezed shut as her fingertips pressed it in.

**vvvrrrrrrrrrrrvvvvlink!**

Julie did not see the guillotine do its quick work. She did feel it; a moment of nearly painful pressure. She was slow to open her eyes, slower to look at her limb. Her mind tried to process how her arm ended at the plate of metal.

[I...my arm...my hand...]

Julie took two steps back, then a third. She focused on her breathing. Looking at her arm without her wrist or hand attached put her through a whirlwind of thoughts and feelings. Another shock came when she tried to flex her severed appendage.

[I cannot feel it at all...like it was never there.]

She stepped forward to raise the blade. She forgot her hand was gone; her shortened limb touched nothing but air when she first tried to hit the button. Julie gave a nerve-tweaked smile, then awkwardly poked her stump into it instead.

**vvvrrrrrrrrrrclick!**

Julie could see the flat stump on her severed hand. There was no blood or bone. The stump looked like the rounded plastic of a mannequin. Her hand itself still looked alive.

There were no words as she reached in and grabbed her inert hand. It felt heavier. It felt close to the same as it always did when she held her hands together...until she tried to intertwine her fingers. The one-sided response from her nerves sent a shiver down her spine.

[This is like...almost like...]

But what it was like never came to her. She stared off into space, frustrated that there was nothing she could compare this to. She wracked her brain for minutes but came up empty. She gave up on the train of thought and looked down.

[Oh...I haven’t put my hand back yet...*can* I put my hand back?]

Julie brought her sliced hand and arm close together. She lined up her limbs as best as she could, took a breath, and pressed the halves together. Sensation returned to her hand so quickly that Julie jumped with a gasp. “Oh!”

She flexed her fingers, rotated her wrist, curled her hand back and forth, and shook it in the air. A smile graced her face.

[All back to normal! That wasn’t so bad!]

Her hand-twirling came to a slow stop. She was looking at the raised blade and the inviting opening beneath it. Julie fidgeted with the sleeves of her sweater, then folded her hands over her chest. Her lips drew taunt to a thin line, but her eyes were sparkling.

[It doesn’t hurt...I’m back together in one piece as easy as I was cut up...]

Her hands slid up. She opened them and slid her fingers around the back of her neck.

[I couldn’t really *lose* my head...it would sit right there until I came back for it...]

Julie was already pulling her long straight black hair off of her back and over one shoulder. Another small voice was trying to creep in to make her think about what she was going to do to herself. For once, Julie refused to give it any space.

[...it is no different than cutting off a hand...I did that just fine...]

Her thoughts were interrupted by her breasts hitting the edge of the table. She had bent over and was guiding her head to the guillotine subconsciously. Julie opted to move the device closer instead of squashing her breasts flat. She had to use effort to lift it from the table; it wouldn’t slide at all. She placed it flush with the table corner. The thought of the device falling didn’t cross her mind.

[Wanda, I’m taking this risk for you...]

Julie put her head through the opening. She looped her hands around to pull her hair away from the blade. Most of it hung over the side of the table. She looked and felt around to make sure the blade was lined up with her neck.

[Hell, I’m taking a risk for *me*.]

She inhaled deeply and held her breath. One hand gripped the table. Her other hand made a hesitant trek to the button. Once she found it, she paused. Julie fought the paralysis that tried to set in.

[Three...two...]

Julie squinted her eyes shut and pressed the button.

*vvvrrrrrrrrrrrvvvvli-*

The shock of the rapid descent of the blade. The smooth ease the blade glides through with. The hard pressure inside of her neck. The sound, louder on the inside. The slight up-tilting of her head as the decapitation is completed. All of this happened in a single second.

Julie noticed the silence first. The sudden lack of sound was eerie to her. She tried opening her eyes but the unbroken blackness remained. She made a hesitant step back with her hand in a vice grip on the table. The familiar weight on her neck did not follow her. Failure was all she tasted when she tried feeling her teeth with her tongue or opening her mouth; yet, she tried speaking, and only noticed the missing vibration of her vocal cords for the effort.

[I...this...can’t...]

She tried to stand up. Julie staggered a few half-steps left before falling against the table. It slid a few inches before stopping and supporting her weight.

The rapid shove from Julie’s fall *should* have sent the guillotine tumbling off of the edge of the table. However, it remained in place, and acted as though it was mounted to the wood.

Julie’s neck was still against the blade when Julie struck the table. When the table slid to a stop, her head did not. It slid across the table. Her hair (already over the edge) pulled her rolling head sideways. Julie’s head flew off the table in a perfect arc into the trash can. The can wobbled but stayed upright. A few black locks of hair peeked out of the top, but slid down the bag in moments.

[hard...stand...my...can’t]

Julie continued leaning on the table. Her legs struggled to get her feet planted on the ground. She put her hands on the table and pushed, both to stand nearly straight and to keep her balance.

[Good...steady...but...wonder]

Her left arm tensed up. She lifted her right hand from the table. Julie started to tilt; her hand came back down. She shifted her position and tried again. She raised her hand at a timid rate. Her fingertips came closer, inch by inch, to where her face used to be. She stopped when her hand felt unfamiliar skin on an unrecognizable place. It took her some time to realize it was the top of her severed neck stump.

[Soft...tender...edges?]

The center of her neck felt like normal skin. The clean circular edge, however, felt almost like plastic. She rubbed her stump while she tried to think of what she was like, but the word ‘mannequin’ would not come to her. Julie happened to stroke against what was now the top of her spine. She shuddered as a warm tingling spread through her.

[Mmmm...that...pleasant]

Julie nearly lost her balance. She caught herself with the table again. As the tingling dissipated, she noticed a different feeling.

[pee...need...where...]

If she had her head, Julie would have wanted to put her head back on her neck by now. Anxiety and worry and fear always seemed to control her analytical mind. But being without her head left her without the nagging thoughts, the complicated fears, or the endless questions her mind brought with it. Only simple thoughts were coming through to her now.

[bathroom...where...how?]

She took a step back. She let go of the table. She stepped back again. Though she swayed on her feet for a moment, Julie retained her balance.

[table...kitchen...hallway?]

The pressure she felt in her bladder was constant. Her restrained thought bandwidth could only handle that task. Since she knew her surroundings, Julie did not need to see to use the bathroom. Her one-tracked mind did not think of her head first because her head was not needed for this. She could get to a bathroom without it.

Julie turned to her right. She raised her arms loosely in front of herself with her hands tilted up and her fingers spread apart. She began to walk forward in measured steps. Julie wobbled as she walked from the kitchen through the TV room.

[couch...door...couch...door]

Her hands missed the couch. Her legs did not. Julie wound up bent over the back of the couch with her hands on the seat cushions.

[door?...can...make...]

She used the couch to stand up straight again. The headless beauty turned and continued her off-balance walk. She was confident she was heading the right way.

[door...bathroom...here]

Julie managed to take a path straight to the door. She patted down the wood to find the knob, turned it, and swayed her way in.

As the bathroom door clicked closed, the front door of the apartment opened.

——————————

Miranda walked into the apartment with her head down and her face glued to her phone. She held a thick stack of mail in her other hand, so she used her shoulder to push the front door closed.

“Hey Jewels, are you back from your trip?”

No answer. Miranda shrugged, locked her phone, put it in her pocket, then locked the front door. She walked to the kitchen while thumbing through the mail.

“No mysterious boxes today...just this usual junk.”

Miranda was only a few feet away from the trick guillotine, but she was focused on the mail in front of her face. She heard a toilet flush. Her head instinctually turned to the source of the noise.

“Oh, Julie *is* here. I guess she didn’t hear me earlier.”

She was facing away from the table. She finished scanning the mail to find out it was all advertising and addressed to CURRENT RESIDENT. Miranda saw the trash can in the corner of her eye. She turned enough to toss the stack of unwanted trash into the can.

“Bullseye.”

Miranda turned to the refrigerator and opened the freezer. As she scanned the options (with none looking appealing), the door to the bathroom opened. The freezer door was low enough to block her view of the bathroom.

“Hey Jewels,” Miranda said. She did not bother looking away as she swapped from the freezer to the fridge. “How was the trip?”

No response again. Miranda finally looked out of the kitchen. The bathroom door was open. Julie was out of sight, but Miranda could hear her walking through the TV room. Her footsteps sounded slower and heavier than usual.

“Maybe she got sick on her trip,” Miranda mumbled to herself. “Poor thing.”

She settled on the lunch meat and cheese. She pulled both from the fridge. She closed the door with her foot as she turned to the table. Miranda finally saw the trick guillotine and the note that had been there all along.

“What the...HEY JULIE?”

She waited with her head titled towards the ceiling. After a few seconds of silence, Miranda huffed and dropped her shoulders. She dropped the package of sliced ham and the bundle of sliced cheese on the table. She stared at the guillotine for several seconds before reaching for the letter.

“Well, if you’re not going to talk to me about whatever *this* thing is, I’m going to find out for myself,” she said, at a volume loud enough for her alone to hear.

Miranda finished reading the letter and began it again before she heard footsteps. She was still scanning the note as she heard Julie approach the kitchen.

“Hey, sorry I read your letter, I wanted to know what this *thing* was, but you didNO MY *GOD!*”

Miranda was frozen on the spot. Her jaw was dropped. Her light brown eyes bulged. Her hand clenched crinkles into the note. She started to fall backwards, but the back wall of the kitchen was right behind her. She remained leaned against the wall, thankful for the help to stand while seeing what she was seeing.

The woman was definitely Julie. She recognized the blue sweater, and there was no mistaking Jewel’s massive chest. But Julie had a big problem; she had been beheaded. There was a flat disc of skin where her head should have been. The missing head was nowhere to be seen.

Miranda slowly turned her head to look at the guillotine, and as slowly, turned it back to Julie. Her mouth remained stuck in an ‘O’ of shock throughout.

Julie had her hands out in front of her. Her fingers curled at irregular intervals; her steps forward were staggered. She found the kitchen counter, then started to open cabinets. She hobbled a bit to the left or to the right each time she reached up to grab something from the shelves. Everything grabbed was put back.

Miranda gained composure of her face. A crinkle of paper reminded her of the note she was holding. She skimmed the note while keeping an eye on her maimed friend.

“Well, I guess you lost your head over this gift after all,” Miranda said. She giggled, then chuckled, then laughed merrily. She laughed a long time at this stale joke, releasing the fear and tension she had built in the first few potent moments Julie had scared her.

The cabinets abandoned and open, Julie stepped back from the counter. Miranda laughed again as Julie tried to turn around without falling over. Julie turned nearly around before walking straight with hesitant hands, unsure if she would find the table or the fridge.

An idea struck Miranda with enough force to plant a large grin on her face. She pulled out her phone. Ten seconds later, she was recording video from the entrance to the one-door kitchen. “Hey ~Juuulieee~,” Miranda cooed for the recording.

Julie continued her search of the kitchen. She was feeling the lunch meat package on the table. She dropped it, patted her hands on the table again, and found the cheese. She rolled it without lifting it.

“What are you ~looooking fooor?~” More giggles echoed from Miranda. She eased closer to the doorway for a better angle.

Julie’s roaming hands found the guillotine. She remained still for a few seconds before she scoured the table near the dropped guillotine blade. Nothing. She held the table as she got down on her knees. She crawled under the kitchen table. Her arms swayed and swatted in wide arcs.

Miranda crouched down. The phone camera was trained on Julie. “*Gee WHIZ,* Jewels, you must have lost something ~reeeaally impooortant~!” She stifled her laughter; it was shaking the video too much.

Julie managed to crawl in a circle to the front of the refrigerator. She got into a kneeling position. She raised her arms to find the fridge handle, then tried to use it to stand. After some shaky legwork, Julie blindly rummaged through the freezer, then the fridge.

“What’s the *matter*?” Miranda was taking steady steps backwards. She wanted this video to go as long as she could. She couldn’t risk Jewels touching her and spoiling the fun. She could help her friend find her head later. But now was showtime. “You can’t remember where you put your ~poooor liiittle heeeaaad?~ Hehehehe!”

Though Julie had forgotten to close the cabinets, she did remember to close the fridge. Her hands were empty. Her first step out of the kitchen was small; her second step almost tripped her. She caught herself with a quick series of small steps that made her chest jiggle. She swayed on towards her bedroom, her hands extended and fidgeting.

Miranda kept the video on her. She stood in one place behind the couch. She turned to keep her helpless subject in camera. Miranda called out as Julie bumped her shoulder into the frame of her bedroom door. “You should ~reeeaaally~ watch where you’re *going*.”

The video played on. Five seconds. Ten seconds. Random noise from the bedroom. 15 seconds. Just as Miranda was going to break the silence, Julie stumbled out of the bedroom. She stood there this way, rubbing and shifting and placing her hands on and around her neck.

You should *think* ~loooong and haaard*~ about where you put it,” Miranda crooned. “I don’t have a spare head just *lying around*!”

Julie put one hand out to find some part of her surroundings. With a hand still rubbing her neck, she ambled her way to the bathroom.

Miranda stopped the recording once Julie entered the bathroom. She was running out of witty things to say. Her stomach rumbled.

“Time to make that sandwich. GOOD LUCK, JEWELS!” She cackled as she walked back to the kitchen. She grabbed bread from the open cabinets and closed them all. She looked at the guillotine while she stacked cheese and meat.

[The note explains a lot about this situation Julie is in. But what exactly does it do?]

A loud thud caused Miranda to look up. Julie had swung open the door of the bathroom a bit hard. After some idle neck rubbing, she wandered in the TV room.

Miranda could hear books and picture frames being moved on the shelves. She picked up her sandwich and took a large bite. Her eyes were stuck on the buttons of the guillotine. She ate half of the sandwich staring at the device and listening to her headless friend’s fruitless dithering.

[Until she remembers the safe place she put her head, I have to figure out what you do on my own.]

Miranda chomped another mouthful and dropped the sandwich on her plate. She pressed each of the buttons, looked around it for other clues or functions, then tried to slide it. It didn’t budge. Miranda lifted it and held it up.

[The base of this thing...is it like magnets?]

She turned to the back wall of the kitchen. She tilted the guillotine until the base faced away from her, then pressed it against the wall. She loosened her grip by degrees, waiting for it to fall, but it stayed on the wall unsupported.

[But the walls, the table...they’re wood. How is it sticking?]

A door creaked shut until it was closed. Miranda knew the sound. Julie had returned to her room and was planning to stay there, at least for a minute.

Miranda grabbed the guillotine. She pulled it from the wall with minor difficulty. She raised it in the air. She held it neck-high then pushed it against the wall again. It stayed in place, defying gravity.

[Maybe I should wait...it might be better if we knew where Julie’s head was first.]

She half-turned to the kitchen doorway. If Julie was still active, she couldn’t hear it.

[Fuck it. I want to try this thing out for myself. It’s not like she waited for me, either.]

Miranda pressed the arrow button. The blade slid out in a flash. She ducked under the magically mounted guillotine, looked up for the opening, then stood up straight. Miranda gulped at the blade now aimed at her neck.

[Thank goodness I got a pixie cut last week, right?]

The thought didn’t make her smile, but her excitement remained. The unknown thrill fueled Miranda in ways Julie would never understand.

She stood straight with her back against the wall. She gripped the side of the device as she searched for the scissors button on the bottom side. Before she could find it, she heard footsteps.

“Julie?” Miranda knew she couldn’t hear her, but the impulse to speak to her was ingrained. “Didn’t you close your door?”

Julie turned the corner to the kitchen once more. She had taken off her cerulean sweater. The top button of her white collared shirt was missing. The shirt was undone to her bra. She was moving slower, and her hands were close to her sides.

Miranda was fixated on her friend. To her, it did not look like Julie was searching anymore. She looked...comfortable.

Julie put her hand lightly on the counter. She walked with patient ease by using the surface as her guide. It was too late for Miranda to move by the time she realized Julie had her cornered. Jewel’s hand recoiled when first touching her.

“Hey, you found me,” Miranda said. She glanced between the guillotine around her neck and the empty space on the neck of her roommate. She swallowed. “Good job, heh.”

Julie touched Miranda again. She lifted her hand from the counter. Soon her hands were all over Miranda’s right hand and arm.

She let her do it. “Trying to decide who I am?” Miranda giggled.

Her headless friend had reached her shoulders on a path to feel her face. The back of Julie’s hands bumped the guillotine.

“I swear I asked you if I could use it, you just didn’t hear me,” Miranda joked.

Her hands did not stay idle for long. She raised her hands above the device. Julie held Miranda’s face with tender fingers. In a few seconds, Julie drew back her hands. She waved a blind hello. She pointed to herself, then to her missing head, then pointed to Miranda.

“Hello! You know it’s me, huh? Is...is that what you mean?”

Jewels was back to touching the guillotine. She was only holding it for a while.

“Yeah, it sticks to walls somehow. Go figure.”

What Julie did next impressed her; she asked Miranda a question. She pointed at Miranda, then dragged two fingers across her neck, and finished with a hands-up shrug. ‘Are you cutting your head off?’

Miranda did not speak. She held Julie by the wrists. She drew Julie’s hands to the sides of her head and pressed them to it. Miranda could feel Julie get a good grip.

“Good. Hold it tight.” She traced her fingertips on the device until she found the buttons. “I don’t want you to lose mine, too.”

Julie, as usual, did not respond.

Miranda filled her lungs and pressed the button. In one instant, she could see the blade lunging at her neck. In the next instant, she could feel nothing above the cold steel on top of her stump. Her hands were immobile claws on twitching arms. She arched her back against the wall.

Julie felt the sudden departure of Miranda’s presence from her head. Muscles with tension seemed to disappear. There was no more resistance or movement from what she was holding. She lifted it up. Her arms stayed straight. She turned to her right with rigid limbs. She stumbled when lowering Miranda’s head to the table, but managed to keep hold of it.

Miranda was sliding down the wall. Her chest rose and fell in a stable and steady pace. Her spine rolled with her unneeded breaths. She ended up kneeling as she dropped down. She hesitated as she brought her hands to her neck.

Julie had turned Miranda’s head to face it away from her. She cupped the head in both hands. She rotated it as she lifted. She lined up the neck of the head as best as she could before planting the halves together. The connection was instant.

“Oh thank god that works, holy shit,” Julie exclaimed. She looked down at herself; her hands, her open shirt, the table in front of her. “Was the wood always this color?”

Miranda did not know. She was using the wall to slide herself up again, one hand still over her neck in disbelief she had beheaded herself. Her other hand felt for the guillotine on the wall and found it. She turned herself around to face it. She felt the top of it, sliding her hands across the blade. There was nothing there. Where was her head?

“Hey Miranda, are you missing something? I know the feeling.” Julie chortled, then looked around the kitchen. “Where did my head...get...to.”

Julie was looking at the trash can. Her memory worked fine; she knew she didn’t check it when she was headless. She never touched it. Julie stepped towards it and began lifting out the junk mail.

Miranda realized Julie had to have taken her head somewhere. She wanted her to hold it still, not take off with it! Miranda guessed that Julie had left the kitchen with it and acted on her guess immediately. Stumbling across the kitchen in a hope to catch up with Julie caused Miranda to miss her standing by the fridge. She moved too fast to manage and lost her balance. Miranda sprawled as she fell to the floor by the couch in the TV room.

Julie heard the thud but did not turn. She barely registered there was a sound at all. She was standing slowly, raising her own head from the trash can.

Her own hair. Her own eyes. Her own lips. Her own ears. Her own cheeks. Her own nose. Her own jaw. They were in her hands. She was expecting to be elated she found it. But looking at it was...eerie. She couldn’t wrap her brain (or was it her friend’s brain?) around seeing her own head this way.

“Let’s get you back where you belong.”

Julie took her time removing her friend’s head and replacing her own. She did so uninterrupted. Miranda had recovered from her fall, but had not tried standing. She was crawling on the floor between the couch and the TV, hoping to catch any sign of where Julie could be. She moved on her knees as she flailed her arms across the couch.

“Mmm,” Julie hummed. “Gave me a heart attack again, Wanda.” She shook her head, her *own* head, and was thankful for the waves of hair on her shoulders. A thought crossed her mind. Her smile dwindled.

“Why was my head in the trash can?”

She looked at Miranda’s head on the table.

“Did Miranda...”

It is not that Julie did not remember that she had fallen into the table after beheading herself. She remembered doing that just fine. But Julie did not know that the fall was what had thrown her head into the garbage bin.

“You pulled out food to make a sandwich...you saw the guillotine, even moved it...you knew I was home. My head was on the table!”

Surprisingly, Julie laughed. She picked up Miranda’s lifeless head. There was a sway in her hips and a bounce in her chest as she walked into the TV room. She saw Miranda’s slender body trying to stand up with the help of their bookshelf.

“Very funny prank, Miranda. Throw Julie’s head in the trash, she doesn’t use it anyway, har har har.”

Miranda got herself upright. She was quick to turn to the center of the room and attempt to walk. She made two wild steps but managed to catch her balance. Her arms moved without purpose.

“I bet you even took a video of it. Always the prankster, but never the one to get pranked.”

Miranda attempted another risky step and wound up on all fours in front of Julie’s door. She was quick to try getting her feet under her but faltered again. She used the wall to hobble down the short hallway to her own bedroom.

“I think you were right, Miranda. You should throw your head away if you’re not using it.” Julie spun around and almost skipped to the kitchen. She held her roommate’s head over the trash can and dropped it. It landed on the junk mail with a satisfying thump.

She strolled into the TV room in time to see Miranda stagger out of the hallway like a zombie. Her poor friend struck her knee against the couch on her way to the bathroom.

“Don’t worry, it shouldn’t take you too long to find your head.” She sauntered over to her bedroom door. Her eyes never left her friend.

Miranda took tiny baby steps to the wall, then used the wall to get to the bathroom. Her hand was back on her split neck.

“After all, I left it right where you left mine. Have fun!” Julie giggled as Miranda closed the bathroom door. She opened her bedroom door and stepped inside, but paused.

She rushed to the kitchen in a flash. She came out of it with the trick guillotine in her arms. Julie stepped through the door, kicking it shut behind her. She locked it a moment later.