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Laurence55 — Spring Bash Haiku-Thon 2008
Published: 2008-03-01 05:52:29 +0000 UTC; Views: 2269; Favourites: 20; Downloads: 20
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Description
March 1sttiger paws-
cumulus clouds
on the move
March 2nd
wind chimes-
uncle Ronnie's dentures
in the glass
March 3rd
crosstalk
the neighbor slips
into our phone sex
March 4th
instantly
the barn owl's face-
spring dusk
March 5th
first light-
a pond skimmer ferries
its reflection
March 6th
meeting her eyes spring rain
March 7th
bulging moon
a toad muscles free
from earth
March 8th
warrior code
the old dog leaves
to die
March 9th
fist fight
the cat pummels
an old boot
March 10th
spring mountain-
my fingers reach
into heaven
March 11th
pouring rain...
he finally
comes clean
March 12th
cloudless dawn-
my brother bargains
a sick day
March 13th
clearance sale-
my aunt shops
for a husband
March 14th
descending fog...
his word
against mine
March 15th
dappled light
the crooked halo
of a lawn gnome
March 16th
vernal equinox-
a hawk flies
full circle
March 17th
milky way
I find her g-spot
March 18th
Chauffeur Blues
the cat gnaws
at a flea
March 19th
wind shift dandelion jazz
March 20th
fickle moon
I fold my gi
a third time
March 21st
alchemy
her lips press deeper
into mine
March 22nd
pillow talk
reciting
old man Issa
March 23rd
orange butterfly
the slow lift
of her sun dress
March 24th
river darkness
one tadpole
with legs
March 25th
only half a cup
of tea this time-
March loneliness
March 26th
spring cleaning
she brushes an eyelash
from my cheek
March 27th
sugar maple
this way and that-
lark song
March 28th
reaching
from beyond the grave
wildflowers
March 29th
blue jays-
suddenly I'm it
in a game of tag
March 30th
in her open palm
spring
unfolds
March 31st
moonflower
the rising note
of a cricket
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Comments: 165
Thank you, yeah March 5th and 7th seem to resonate with many people. They are both (as all my works are) true accounts that I attempted to capture in the clearest way possible. Thanks!
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3rd: Use your indoor voice next-time.
5th and 7th: I particularly like these, especially the pond-skimmer. It reminds me of a haiku from the last HaikuWriMo (the one I took part in, anyways). I forgot who's it was, but the feature was the "halos" that appear under the pond-skimmer's feet. It ferrying it's reflection is a strong image too.
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3rd: What can I say...good love breaks network barriers
5th and 7th: Thanks, I appreciate that...and yes, I do remember the other pond skimmer piece. It was excellent.
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5th is my fav so far 
1st to 4th is really funny
3rd is a ménage à trois?
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Thanks! No, third refers to when you are on the phone, and the networks become crossed, causing your conversation to be heard by your neighbors (and vice versa) if they also happen to be on the phone.
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March 6 - excellent, so few words - so much meaning and feeling.
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Thanks Loretta, I appreciate that.
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March 3rd made me laugh a bit, because I don't know how I'd react if that happened to me.
March 5 is just magical. It is flawless and really ignites the imagination.
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Thanks!! 
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my favourite ones are the 5th and the 1st
"cumulus clouds" it sound threatening, that's definately my top1
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March 5th.... Very nice. I love the idea of the pond skimmer "ferrying" his reflection. It catches my imagination.
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Thanks Loretta, Have you posted your fifth piece yet...I wanted to wait until then before commenting
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Yes, I did. [link]
Stupid da will not let me edit in the regular fashion, so I started a new deviation with the haiku in the artists comments until the help desk replies.
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Oh, ok, I will go there and comment
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March 4 is a wonder!!
Really stunning!!
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Thanks Dick, I wanted to to take the "right now" moment of haiku to a deeper level. I also wanted to connect the "instantly" in the poem to the sudden rise of my pulse upon seeing the creature.
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it fits into my mood at the moment (as I am sure you can see - all animal poems so far - I think I might see if I can keep it up).
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Cool, I think you could do it
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yeah - I made a list of animals which I see around the house and there are more than 31 so I guess I could do it...
any animals you'd like to see???
I find I cannot kill insects anymore... I spend hours chasing them and then putting them outside.
now I just leave them and write them a poem. they are becoming my friends slowly... even the flea, a friend in summer...
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Excellent!!!
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I live in a city, but up in a hill as well, so although we are only a 10m walk from the centre of town, we are surrounded by birds, cicadas, spiders, cockroaches, and a whole range of creepy crawlies. I have found myself liking them suddenly, and interested in their lives (not that I wasn't before, but I certainly wasn't active about it).
becoming buddhist/taoist I guess. but I will never study it as a dogma. becoming "real" with the world. Not separating myself from it.
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I agree my friend...the greatest script to follow is the one not written!
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[The nameless shall remain nameless, but let's describe them, anyhow.]
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is the line separation right on the new one??
(ie. is it meant to be one line with breaks?)
interesting structure, if so.
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Yes, this one is a line with breaks. I chose to do it this way (as opposed to the "toadstool gossip" of my other one liner) to emphasize the "3 lines-3 images" concept on a linear plane.
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yeah, I dig that. it is interesting. usually haiku lines superimpose while here they resist this superimposition and stand alone (while heading in a linear direction)...
less folds... and yet spaces emerge, and ideas in the spaces...
fascinating
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Thanks, yeah, I love experimentation!
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to the avant-garde!!
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Not the neighborhood party line? I b et that happened all the time!
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Nice turn of images (sound imagery!) with the wind chimes and dentures. Not only can a glass and a chime make a similar sound, but they have similar shape (I figure two go hand in hand).
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Your imagery is fresh and pretty interesting. Tiger paws remembering moving clouds is a nice comparison.
And poor uncle Ronnie
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Thank you, i appreciate that. i have been watching your progress as well.
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Thank you for your interest as well! Take your time because due to some inexplicable rule I cannot write them all before March the 31st...
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You are really good with juxtaposing two pictures and enriching both. Superb stuff! I think I'll try that tonight.
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Thank you, I appreciate that
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nice contrast in #2...
the images "chime" themselves
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thanks
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the third is great too.
made me laugh, and laughter is the best gift!
wonderful beginnings...
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Thanks, I appreciate that...team SOLAR all the way!
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such wit -
wind chimes, and dentures in a glass!
of course i adore the tiger clouds... i so look forward to all the rest!
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Thank you Jade, as always, hearing your thoughts is an uplifting moment for me
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Dentures,
grinning without lips -
in the glass....
Creepy!
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