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Published: 2004-11-21 04:34:00 +0000 UTC; Views: 37520; Favourites: 1012; Downloads: 643
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Description
$- A title that commands respect, such as "Sir," "Duke," or "Bass Master." Also: ', @, ^, #, %, and +Adoptee- A subspecies of deviant, which attach themselves to larger predators, much like remoras or temporary tattoos.
Anime- One of the most thriving, fastest-growing religions in the world today.
Avatar- The tiny, tiny window in the computer screen, though which a deviant may look at the outside world.
Community- A safe haven where like minds can gather, free from the prying and oppressive eyes of the outside world, to talk about how sexy Jack Sparrow is.
Constructive criticism- Any comment that does not involve the words "dood," "teh," "poop" or "gay." Any replies made to constructive criticism will contain all four.
Dark Art- Pictures of various pale women with too much eye makeup. May or may not be bleeding from somewhere.
Deviant- Once thought to exist only in myth, the wild deviant has recently been found thriving in various parts of the world, wherever internet connections can be found. Recognizable by its ink-stained fingers and pale, sun starved skin, it subsists on a strict diet of coffee, ramen, bagels and pocky. Although useless for domestication, (when not drawing, photographing or writing they go into periods of deep hibernation,) they can easily be tamed with prints and false promises of oral sex.
Deviations- The offspring of deviants. See scourge upon humanity.
Emoticon- A reasonable substitute for feeling.
Fanart- A one-way ticket to commentsville, with regular stops at favland. See popularity.
Fav- A sexual act, derived from the word "fuck." Different from it's predecessor in that the role of the powerful lies in the person who seduces and then "gets faved," as opposed to the one who "favs." Like fucking, faving is most commonly associated with the charming and the beautiful, or at least something with big tits on it.
Flame- See constructive criticism. See also what I'm going to receive for writing this.
Forum- A place deviants go to complain how much they hate the forum.
Full view- A way to see each piece as the artist truly intended it- blown up to the point where the character's left nostril fills the entire screen.
Furries- Human/animal hybrids, a result of bored mad scientists running around DeviantART.
Journal- A tiny box where millions of avatars are stored.
Poem- A string of words with irregular spacing. By nature, the words "blood," "rose," "drug," "blade," "dream," "soul," "ice," "rain" and "crimson tears" must be in every poem.
Popularity- A quality that each deviant despises in everyone but themselves.
Prose- A poem with the line breaks removed.
Scourge Upon Humanity- An artist or writer with no sense of humor.
Screenshot- A way of capturing that one, special moment before the dragon bites your laptop in two.
Whore- One who admits to wanting attention.
WTF- After 'round the clock research, our team of archeologists and linguists have determined this symbol is an abbreviation for "waffles talk funny." We cannot be wrong.
Yaoi- A sexual pairing that involves two men having a relationship while a teenaged girl watches.
Related content
Comments: 382
PaintedHouse [2006-11-15 21:57:37 +0000 UTC]
Very clever! I have to express my like for the definition of "fav": so true, so true. As is your definition for "deviant".
Of course, a fav.
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OpheliaChamberlain In reply to ??? [2006-11-15 20:01:34 +0000 UTC]
Hehe!!!! Awesome!!!!
Loved it!!!
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Tsukamei In reply to ??? [2006-11-15 18:14:42 +0000 UTC]
*applauds* Well done. Emoticon and deviant were my favorites.
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sweetx666 [2006-11-15 18:08:28 +0000 UTC]
awesome! I love the dark art one and the full view one, haha.
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cinnamonjames [2006-11-15 16:02:57 +0000 UTC]
Genius! So very well observed. Be sure to update it if you think of any more.
I'd offer constructive criticism but I don't think this could be improved, other than with more entries. Also, I don't want you to flame me with "dood! teh poop is gay! XD"
My laughter was slightly tainted by the sting in my jealous heart, wishing I'd thought of this first, but knowing I couldn't have done it better...
Easy to
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iamshe In reply to ??? [2006-11-15 15:19:39 +0000 UTC]
priceless! "Popularity" is perfect, a well-tuned homage to ambrose. Funny stuff!
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Ashreila In reply to ??? [2006-11-15 15:04:04 +0000 UTC]
That was perhaps the most brilliant piece of satirical comintary I've ever read. Please write some more of this. My only complaint is that it's to short.
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Sage-Oro In reply to ??? [2006-11-15 13:51:14 +0000 UTC]
You have been touched by God's hand, my child!! He has blessed you with comedic genius!!!! XD
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adwkokos In reply to ??? [2006-11-15 13:33:47 +0000 UTC]
Sorry for using all those emoticons. At first I was searching for the laugh my ass off emoticon, but when I found lots of other laughing emos and I decided to use all the laughing ones I could find and then I extended it to include smiling ones too, and then I added a few !I love this"-emos, and "I love you"-emos... I'm weird, but I really love this
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RubyShoe In reply to ??? [2006-11-15 13:09:09 +0000 UTC]
So what if I have sun starved skin? Coffee is delicious. I wish I could hibernate for long periods of time. Plus, promises of oral sex entice me.
My newest fav!
Yay unknown artists!
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LunaNero In reply to ??? [2006-11-15 11:49:18 +0000 UTC]
lol....very nicely done... was wondering though if you might consider extending it a bit? adding a few more things?
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ElectricMayhem [2006-11-15 11:05:29 +0000 UTC]
haha the full view one...it's funny because it's true
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13thFallenAngel [2006-11-15 10:29:28 +0000 UTC]
As a yaoi fangirl (rabid no less), I find your definition of yaoi funny and so completely darn true....The rest, I laugh, I laugh!!!
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KaliPhantom In reply to ??? [2006-11-15 09:46:40 +0000 UTC]
There, my one emot of this comment... May it say all it needs to.
I'm very strongly reminded of The Devil's Dictionary here. I'm going to guess that was intentional. You have a very sharp eye for the truth, and a brilliant command of sarcasm. I shall definitely have to check out your other work in time.
My only real criticism of this piece is that it isn't nearly long enough and needs many, many more definitions.
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naiadgirl1012 In reply to ??? [2006-11-12 00:56:39 +0000 UTC]
It would only be less hilarious if it weren't true.
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Floofeh-Kitteh [2006-11-11 09:58:38 +0000 UTC]
-falls over laughing-
Oh man, that's some funny sh*t!!
Made me laugh really bad XD
Glad I popped into the November Feauture of Unknown Artists today!!
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metalkatt In reply to ??? [2006-08-28 05:14:16 +0000 UTC]
*falls off chair laughing at "fullview" and "yaoi"* I haven't so much as smiled in three days; thank you for this.
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veronica-rich In reply to ??? [2006-08-28 05:13:56 +0000 UTC]
This is fabulous. This should be reproduced on a poster somewhere to be tacked above fangirls' beds, in large enough glow-in-the-dark type to read after lights-out.
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Katwalker [2005-05-06 03:35:18 +0000 UTC]
This...this is brilliant. I weep for no reason now.
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Destro7000 [2005-03-23 23:08:10 +0000 UTC]
Cool piece, your sarcasm made me laugh. the good kind!
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diamondie [2005-03-07 14:19:49 +0000 UTC]
I was once going to make a piece similar to this, but never bothered to finish it. I think your version is probably a lot funnier than the one I was going to make, thumbs up for that. You could use bold to separate the words from their descriptions.
My favorite ones were probably "community", "journal" and "dark art", though it's really hard to pick favorites among the descriptions. The "adoptee" one I don't quite understand and I think the "anime" and "furries" ones could be better, so many different possibilities for those. You also forgot that a poem must contain the words "crimson tears"! Though maybe they even deserve their own entry.
I find it quite ironic that before this comment, you had the same number of comments and favorites (7).
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leftomaniac In reply to diamondie [2005-03-09 04:17:22 +0000 UTC]
Thank you! I took your suggestions, though I kept "anime" the same because... well, I guess I'm just attached to it, heh.
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demonlight In reply to ??? [2005-03-07 00:31:05 +0000 UTC]
Constructive criticism- Any comment that does not involve the words "dood," "teh," "poop" or "gay." Any replies made to constructive criticism will contain all four.
- Actually, I can disprove this. Let me get the link... Ah, here we go: [link]
However, it's a rather lovely little quip.
Anyway - this is great. It just is... no constructive critique here. Just the right level of tongue in-cheek humour and observation - t'is charming. Add it to your sig and declare yourself a whore.
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leftomaniac In reply to demonlight [2005-03-07 02:35:59 +0000 UTC]
Heheh. Advice from the experienced, I see. ^_^ Thank you.
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orion-mk3 In reply to ??? [2004-11-22 01:34:54 +0000 UTC]
I can see this attaining exactly that which you satirize. Make the cross-references real, expand it, and get rid of the reamining serious definitions in favor or more satire!
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leftomaniac In reply to orion-mk3 [2004-12-04 01:31:59 +0000 UTC]
Hmm... which ones do you consider serious?
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xabie [2004-11-21 08:08:36 +0000 UTC]
XD Your sense of humour is lovely. How much are you willing to sell it for?
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Twoforflinching In reply to xabie [2007-10-25 13:26:12 +0000 UTC]
If it is sold, do you think perhaps it could be distilled and sold for large sums? After all they seem to be doing it with popularity all the time. *winks*
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