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“(name)!! I vant you to be my girlfriend vhen zhe awesome me grows up!!” The intensity of the bright red cheeks of the white-haired young boy was astonishing. “Are you sure?” The young girl asked the young boy, shyly, and somewhat uncertain. He nodded fervently, and his sparkling red eyes beckoning the young girl to accept. “Then pinky promise me!” As the young boy extended his small hand, the young girl hooked her pinky around his, and they both chanted, “Pinky promise, if I lie, I will drink a 1000 needles, and cut my pinky!” As the girl smiled gently, the boy with red eyes grinned happily. “The awesome me gonna have zhe best girlfriend in zhe world!! And zhen I’ll protect you wizh my life!! And zhen I’ll be king!!!”

~… Ikkaime magure de, nikaime tte-

Shutting off the alarm, you opened your drowsy eyes, to see that it was 8 in the morning. Dragging your body off your bed like a zombie, you collapsed on the sofa instead. Thinking about the dream you had when you and Gilbert were young made you smile. Only if that dream from the past became reality!

Lying down on the couch, you sighed. It had been such a long week… and you just finished a paper at 12:00 am last night. Stretching tiredly, you got off the couch and looked at yourself in the mirror. “So much for beauty…” Seeing the cracked lips and dark circles beneath your eyes just made you feel even more tired than you were when you saw yourself.

Sighing, you dragged yourself to the fridge, opening it slowly. “Damn it.” Seeing that there was little food, you figured that you had to go out today. “Even though I reserved today just for gaming…” Mumbling to yourself, you rubbed your eyes, and staggered towards the bathroom door. Taking of your clothes, you turned the faucet, only to silently shriek from the sudden cold stream of water hitting you. Quickly turning on the hot water, you exhaled slowly. “Now this is just right.”

“(NAME)!! (NAME)!!” Hearing Gilbert’s voice from the front door made you grumble. Washing off the soap, you didn’t bother to reply the frustrated Prussian, who was banging your front door. Why is he here on a weekend, anyway?

“I’M COMING IN!!” Gilbert shouted impatiently, and took out the keys to your house. You were very close childhood friends, and both of you gave each other keys, just in case Gilbert or you needed each other.

Hearing the door click, Gilbert walked briskly through the door, and shut it. As Gilbert walked around opening doors and trying to find you, you remembered you forgot to lock the bathroom door. OH SH-

You didn’t even manage to finish the thought. Gilbert slammed the door open, and saw you naked in the shower. His face turned crimson, squeezing his eyes shut, and screaming, “I’M SO SORRY! I didn’t know!!” You grabbed the things closest to you, and started to throw them. “GET OUT! NOW!” Gilbert ran out and shut the bathroom door, his face still red from the shock, whilst you panted, after using up the energy you had left to throw things at Gilbert. Your heart felt as if it was going to pop out of your chest. Damn that conceited Prussian!

Quickly drying yourself, you put on your clothes and walked out of the bathroom, only to see Gilbert crouching on the floor, with his hands on his face and covering his eyes. “Oi Gilbert. What are you here for?” Seeing you out of the shower, Gilbert still had his hands to hide his face, which was still visibly red. Snickering, you pried off Gilbert’s hands, only to see him avert his eyes from you.

“OH, so does that mean… you’ve never seen a girl naked, Gilbert?” Hearing your taunt, Gilbert turned around and retorted, “I HAVE SEEN a girl’s body before! It’s just…” Despite his reply, he did not look at you in the eyes… proving you were right on point. Wait until I tell Francis and Antonio about this!

“AHAHAHAHA! And I thought that the awesome guy in the Bad Touch Trio would have had… Pfttt!” Trying to restrain yourself from laughing, you saw the Prussian pouting, something that was a rare sight. “So what?” Gilbert, still pouting, responded snappily. “Pftt... Alright, that’s enough for today… That was a little too much…” Seeing that Gilbert was becoming rather upset, you hugged him.

Gilbert’s red eyes softened, and looked at you. “Well, promise me you will never talk about this again!” You nodded, and held out your pinky. Gilbert held out his, and you both chanted, “Pinky promise, if I lie, I will drink a 1000 needles, and cut my pinky!”

Giggling like kids, Gilbert said, “Well…mädchen. I’m holding you to that promise!” Grinning in response, Gilbert nodded. “Soo… what are you here for today?” Gilbert then reverted back to original awesome self. “The awesome Gilbert came to look after you!”

Seeing your confused face, he continued, “Well, your mum called, and she told me that you weren’t feeling very well. I mean, you’re living alone now… so I came to see how you were doing!” Smiling, you thanked Gilbert. “But you seem fine, so let’s go out!”

You wondered if what was wrong with Gilbert today. Has he taken nice guy pills or something? As if he was reading your mind, Gilbert replied with a sarcastic tone, “Yes (name), we all know that the awesome Gilbert took the nice guy pills.” Rolling your eyes, you walked towards your bedroom. Scrambling after you, Gilbert grabbed your hand and asked, “Does that mean you’re going out with me today?”

Although you wanted to reject Gilbert, he just stared at you with puppy-dog eyes, something he only did when he was VERY desperate. Sighing, you gave in. “Fine, Gilbert. Have it your way.” Gilbert whooped, and jumped into the air and fist pumping.

*Gilbert POV*

Gilbert looked at you entering your room, and thought to himself, (name) has such a nice body…That slender frame- But he shook his head, trying to clear away the thoughts that was clearly plaguing his mind. Today, I’m going to tell (name) I like her… Trying to keep his cool, Gilbert paced the room waiting for you to come out.

*Normal POV*

What am I supposed to do?! Gilbert just saw me naked, and now he’s asking me to go out somewhere with him! You squealed, half in terror, half in anticipation and walked around in circles as soon as you closed the door, hoping that Gilbert did not read your thoughts. You were just good enough at acting, and thank the lord Gilbert didn’t realize it. Damn, that Prussian makes things hard… Trying not to waste time, you randomly chose some jeans and a loose shirt with a jacket. You quickly changed your clothes, and walked out of the room casually, trying hard not to think too much about the Prussian.

Putting on your boots, you turned around to see Gilbert standing. “What are you waiting for? A written invitation?” Gilbert got up to his feet, and moved to put on his shoes. But whilst he was putting them on, he stared at you. “What is it, Gil?” Gilbert quickly went back to tie his shoes, but his face is still red as he fumbled with his shoelaces.

“Come on now, just stop thinking about it, alright?” You attempted to pull Gilbert up to his feet, but he was heavier than you thought, and you fell on top of his body, inches away from his luscious lips and ruby red eyes. "Gil! Are you alright? I’m sorry!” Scampering off his body, you became rather flustered, and offered Gilbert a hand. Gilbert took it, and pulled himself up from the floor. “Thanks, (name)!” As if he had forgotten that you were on top of him, Gilbert quickly dragged you out of the door.

“Let’s go on an awesome date!” Pulling through the streets, you went along with Gilbert as he sprinted across the streets.

——————

“That was so much fun!” You laughed, and Gilbert looked at the sunsetting sky happily, as the both of you sat a bench in the park. “But the part where you saw the ghost coming out of the bathroom… man, you can’t be more unawesome…” Gilbert blushed yet again, and quickly retaliated, “(name)! The awesome me was only just surprised!” You laughed, “Yeah, more like completely terrified.” Seeing that Gilbert was pouting, you changed the subject to make Gilbert forget his anger.

“Thanks for coming at the right time, Gil! I mean, I was feeling so miserable…” Gilbert replied gently, “Well, I’m glad you had fun, (name).” Sneaking a glance at Gilbert, you became surprised to see that Gilbert had a real smile on his face, unlike all those smirks and fake smiles he usually put on at school or in front of others. “Anyway… (name). I have somezhing to say."

As Gilbert turned around to meet your eyes, you quickly turned around to stop Gilbert from looking at your blushed face. “Yes, Gil?” Gilbert looked at your turned body, and whispered, “Ich liebe dich, (name).” Hearing the phrase, you turned around to face the Prussian, and to your surprise again, he had this huge blush across his face, and his beautiful red orbs refused to meet yours.

“Gil… I love you too.” Standing in front of Gilbert, you cupped his face in your hands, and kissed him gently on the mouth. Gilbert’s eyes widened, but closes them as he kissed you back. Pulling apart after what seemed like an eternity, you and Gilbert looked at each other, and he hugged you, putting you on his lap. “Say ‘Ich liebe dich auch’ for me, (name).” Whispering into your ear, Gilbert tightened his arms around you. You then replied shyly, “Ich..liebe dich auch, Gil.”

——————

That night, after Gilbert walked hand in hand with you back to your home, you laid down on your bed, staring at the ceiling. I’ve never been so happy in my entire life… Gil confessed to me!! You snuggled your pillow, thinking about meeting him at school tomorrow, but with your excitement, you couldn’t sleep.

Rolling around in bed, the fatigue from the date finally overtook your body, finally lulling it to sleep.

~ Guuzen ja nai yo ne? Sankai me ga-

Hitting your alarm with annoyance, you turned around in bed groggily, and fell out of it, landing on the floor with an “oof”. Getting up slowly, you saw that you already got your school clothes out last night. Sighing, you took off your clothes, and went into the shower, not forgetting to lock it this time. Quickly rubbing your body with soap and washing it, you brushed your teeth as you dried off your body quickly and put on your clothes that you prepared.

You went down to the kitchen, starting to make breakfast. “(name), make some pancakes for Gilbird and the awesome me too.” Turning around, you saw Gilbert already in the kitchen, sitting on the stool. “Well, if the awesome you can't ask nicely, I won’t make any for you, you know?” Pouting, you set the pan on the stove, frying some bacon and eggs. Gilbert crept behind you as you got the bacon out of the pan, and hugged you from behind.

“Make the awesome me pancakes…. bitte?” The way Gilbert added ‘bitte’ at the end of the sentence made you stop pouting, and you just gave up trying to resist. “Fine, Gil. I’ll do it.” Cheering that he would have his breakfast made by you, Gilbert pecked you on the cheek, and continued to play with Gilbird. You blushed, but finished the pancakes, setting them in two plates.

A small plate was set aside for Gilbird, who chirped happily upon receiving his share of the meal. Looking at the clock, you saw that you are now rather short on time, and quickly gulped down the rest of your food and left the dirty dishes along with the pan in the sink.

Gurgling mouthwash rapidly, you spat it out, running up the stairs and took your heavy backpack. Now that you were ready, you started to put on your shoes, and shouted to Gilbert, who had just finished his breakfast, “Gil! I’m leaving you!” In response, Gilbert quickly chugged down the water, and left the plates in the sink. Gilbird followed his master, and placed himself on top of Gilbert’s head. After Gilbert put his shoes, both of you sprinted, in an attempt to get to school on time.

Arriving at school, you hear the bell for the first period ring, and signaled Gilbert, who quickly followed you into the classroom and sat down right before your teacher came in. As the teacher greeted all of you, and started the lecture, you sat quietly and took notes, whilst the people in the classroom stared at you.

——————

Sighing, you put your face on the cool desk inside the cold classroom, glad that the day was finally over. No one was sitting there with you, and you wished you had a friend in the room. Unfortunately, Elizabeta had gone home, and you had no one to be with. After all, most people stayed away from you as much as possible. A lot of people did respect you because of your intelligence, but most ignored you and now you are often left out. People were jealous of your innate talent as a student, and resented you for it.

Lifting your head back up, you leaned back on the chair, staring yet again at the ceiling. Perhaps I should spend more time in order to find friends? you thought to yourself, but shook your head, thinking that it was an impossible task. People around you regarded you as a weird person, since you did not study as much as other honor students, and slacked off by watching anime and playing games. Since you were unnatural, people avoided you and did not try to interact with you, and you did not want to be seen as desperate, as that can lead to bullying.

Whilst you thought about your predicament at school, you heard Gilbert’s voice saying,“…and so she wanted to become my girlfriend…” Happy that Gilbert was finally here, you were about to open the door and greet him, but Mathias (one of the guys that are considered most good-looking in the school) cuts in before you could open the door or say anything. “That ugly (name)? The one that can’t fit in, and looks ugly? ” Stopping in your tracks, you hid behind the door, continuing to listen to their conversation. Stop it (name)! Don’t listen to Mathias! Although your thoughts tell you to stop eavesdropping, you turned them away. But what you heard next crushed your heart into tiny pieces.

“Yeah, that’s why the awesome me rejected her offer. I mean, she’s way too dull and ugly for the awesome me, isn’t she?” Each word seemed to push you further and further down an endless abyss. Gilbert… Opening the door calmly and maintaining a smiling face, you saw Gilbert at his locker across from the classroom with Mathias. Gilbert’s face went pale, and you laughed silently in your mind. Of course. He must have realized. “What is the matter, Gilbert? Why are you going pale?” You asked sweetly, as if nothing had happened. Mathias seemed to be stunned, but didn’t attempt to do anything either.

“Well, gentlemen, if you have nothing to do but badmouth me, I’m pretty sure you should go out and look for some sort of entertainment in the streets.” Although your voice wavered, you felt no tears in your eyes. Walking a few steps towards the door, you remembered something you wanted to say. “Hey Gilbert! I guess you should start drinking the needles and cut your pinkies!” And with a cheerful tone, you left the building, leaving a stunned Mathias and the dumbfounded Gilbert. After regaining his senses, Mathias yelled after you, “Damn you, (name)!! How dare you mock the King of Northern Europe!”

*Gilbert POV*

Although I hear noises in the background, I didn’t respond. I couldn't.
Why did I say it? Why did I say it?

Why did I hurt her?

I felt like I was slapped across the face. Heck, I think that's how she felt too, on a different level. I didn’t expect to see her coming out of the classroom, or that she even heard me. The possibility of that chance was near zero.

But that’s wrong. I shouldn’t have even thought of possibility. (name) was hurt, and I was responsible for it. No one else. Her expression hid her agonized feelings, but the way she spoke to me laid bare her pain. Her eyes, (name)’s eyes, scared me. I betrayed her trust, and at the absolute worst possible moment.

Why did I value my popularity over her? I wanted to be popular so that she would look at me. I kept trying to be awesome so she would only be mine.

But saying that is only finding the easy way out. To find excuses for myself. How horrible can I be? Why is it that other peoples' opinions are the ones that I valued, and not hers, when she is the one that matters most?

I felt tears rise up in my eyes, but I forced them down. This is the punishment I truly deserve… (name)…

Mädchen… I’m sorry... entschuldigen sie bitte.

I never wanted you to suffer at my very hands. I vowed to protect you… and ended up being the one that hurts you instead.

My feet started to move and run after her, and whilst Mathias shouted, “Where are you going, Gil?”

Hearing that nickname reminds me of her, but I didn’t reply. I just ran. Maybe, just maybe, I can go back and say sorry and apologize. And things would be back to normal. Please...Gott... I'll do whatever I have to. Give her back to me...

*Normal POV*

You went to the classroom that you shared with Gilbert, putting your head down on the desk that he used everyday, but no matter how long you stayed there, the pain remained sharp and unforgiving. Giving up on trying to suppress your emotions, you headed home.

And as you walked home, the rain came pouring down from the skies. Seeing the droplets coming down from the grey skies, you looked upwards and said jokingly, “Nice timing, God.” Finding a shelter, you saw an abandoned bus stop, and sat there, waiting for the rain to let up. Your chest still hurt painfully. Hoping that the pain would go away, you closed your eyes and leaned backwards.

But what you did worsened the pain. It spread to your throat and eyes, and all of a sudden, tears started to fill up, and you felt like sobbing. Hearing footsteps in the heavy rain, you opened up your eyes again and saw Antonio carrying an umbrella and groceries. “Chica, what are you doing here?” Antonio looked at you worriedly and sat down next to you. “It’s nothing really, Toni. I’m waiting for the rain to finish so I can go home.” You replied loudly, hoping that Antonio could not see through your failed attempt to sound cheerful.

“(name), don’t take me for a fool.” Hearing that line, especially from Toni was rather eye-opening. The kind and friendly Spaniard was usually the last to speak with a harsh tone. Seeing that you looked more than just a little upset, Antonio continued apologetically, “I’m sorry, (name). I just pretend not to be able to read the atmosphere, but I can’t just ignore you when you look so crestfallen…”

You could hold it in no longer. Tears are now streaming down your face. Why am I even wasting my time crying?! “Lo siento!! I’m sorry I made you cry!” Antonio seemed flustered, and took out his handkerchief, giving it to you. Wiping your tears, you say, “No, Toni, it’s not your fault. Gilbert, he…” But you found yourself unable to continue, since the clenching of your throat made it impossible to speak without sobbing.

Antonio held you in his arms gently, and his green eyes showing the concern he had for you. Gritting his teeth, he knew that his friend was the cause of (name)'s expression right now. Tomorrow, he was going to confront Gilbert about this.

“Thanks for being here for me, Toni.” Antonio smiled gently, and as the rain stopped, you said goodbye to Antonio, not wanting to say anything any further, as it felt like you might break from saying the words. Antonio looked worried, but still waved you goodbye in reply.

You turned around and walked back to your house, weary from all the emotions still raging on the inside. Unlocking the big door slowly, the door creaked as you opened it. Taking off your shoes, you closed the door and locked it. Feeling fatigued, you walked back to your bedroom, hoping you would get a nap. To your bewilderment, you saw Gilbert’s body leaned against your bed, snoring gently, along with Gilbird on his head, in the lit room.

But the bewilderment didn’t last long, and the very sight of Gilbert made you felt hurt all over again. Ignoring it, you shook Gilbert awake. “Gilbert! WAKE UP AND GET OUT!!” Yelling at him, you managed to make Gilbert gasp as he woke up, and looked at his surroundings, wide-eyed. “DIDN’T YOU HEAR ME? Get out!!” You repeated, your voice becoming hoarse. Regaining his senses, Gilbert grasped your hand. “(name), please forgive me… I’m so sorry!”

But you still shook your head. “Gilbert, please leave me.” Seeing that you did not call him ‘Gil’ like you usually did, Gilbert flinched, but continued to beg you nonetheless. “Please (name), I’m sorry, ” Turning around to look at Gilbert in the eye, you screamed, “So you could just break my heart after asking me out?!! SO, WAS IT FUNNY? WAS YOUR CRUEL LITTLE GAME INTERESTING?” “(name), Ich-“ “ DID YOU HAVE FUN TEARING MY HEART TO PIECES?!!” Gilbert stayed silent, letting you scream at him, his red eyes filled with misery and regret. You then pried his fingers off of your body, not even looking at his distressed face. His warmth, something you had treasured all this time, only triggered feelings of disgust.

Seeing no response, you whispered with your cracked voice, having no energy left to rage against the man who had wronged you. “Please don’t see me anymore. I should have known that you’d put popularity before me anyway.” Without putting up resistance, Gilbert left the room closing the door, leaving you in isolation. You sat down on the floor, and leaned against the door, turning the lights off. You sobbed miserably, and as the tears left your eyes, you glanced up at the same ceiling that day when Gilbert confessed to you.

“Why? Why did you have to do it? I love you so much… Gil…” You choked, and buried your head in your hands. Unbeknownst to you, on the other side of that door, Gilbert leaned against it, listening to your sobs. Gilbert felt as if a piece of him had broken along with each of your cries and clutched his teutonic cross, cursing himself and his lighthearted decision.

Standing up, Gilbert left you crying alone in your room, and went back home, only to be greeted by an angry Ludwig. Ludwig ranted on, but after a few minutes of no responses from Gilbert, Ludwig became worried. “Bruder, are you alright?” But Ludwig did not even get a single word out of Gilbert, whose eyes remained empty, and his body like a wilted flower.

“… (name)… I hurt her.” Was the only words that left Gilbert’s mouth before he entered his room slowly, and slammed the door shut. Ludwig looked at the shut door worriedly, but put some leftover wurst in front of Gilbert’s door, before sighing, “What am I supposed to do with mein bruder…” Entering his room to take a shower, Ludwig glanced at Gilbert’s door again out of concern before closing his own door gently.

——————

After a night of just letting your tears flow, you looked at yourself in the mirror and saw a weird woman with bulging red eyes. Chuckling bitterly at your appearance, you closed your eyes and laid down on the bed.

Becoming a hollow shell, one without emotions… seems like a better idea than just letting my own heart to broken again…

You looked at yourself in the mirror again, and saw a girl with cracked lips, dark circles under her puffy red eyes once again. You sighed. Walking towards the kitchen, you took out some ice, and eyedrops that were in the cupboard in your bedroom. Washing your face with cold water, you pressed the ice against your eyes, hoping that they would stop swelling. Taking out the half-melted ice cubes, you then put eye drops in your eyes, and got dressed, getting ready for school.

I hope this pain would go away… I don’t want to ever feel this way again…

When you got to class, no one saw your abnormal appearance, but everyone noticed that you were different. But they ignored you and you sat in class with a face without expressions...

———Two months later———

You woke up to see that you had fallen asleep in Antonio’s house. Realizing that there were tears on your cheeks, you wiped them of before Antonio saw them. It had to be that dream, didn’t it? After that time when Gilbert practically destroyed your heart, you visited Antonio rather often, and talked to him about dreams like the one you just had. Rubbing your eyes, you decided to go back home. “Toni, I’m leaving…”

Antonio rushed out of the kitchen, and shouted after you, “Chica, please wait!"

You sighed, but walked back to the couch, sitting back down. “What is it that you want to ask me, Toni?” Even though I already know the answer…

Antonio took a deep breath and said, “Chica, please forgive Gilbert. He was wrong, but I feel that he’s becoming very violent, and as you know… he was my best friend. I care about him, even if I can't forgive him for hurting your feelings. I wasn’t there when he needed me the most, and I got into a fight with him about you too...”

Closing your eyes, you massaged the bridge of your nose, and looked at Antonio. “Antonio, I can’t do it. I feel like if I do it, he will just hurt me again.” Antonio still pleaded, “But (name)! You know Gilbert’s a person who learns from his mistakes…”

You stood up, ignoring Antonio, and said a quiet goodbye as you left the house slowly.

Antonio just looked at the shut door, and closed his eyes, and sat back down in frustration.

As you closed the door behind you, you sat at Antonio’s doorstep. I can’t risk another heartbreak… I don’t want to get hurt again…
Standing after a while of pondering about Gilbert, you walked home forlornly.

I don’t want to go to see him… It reminds me of the past...

———After school———

*Gilbert POV*

~ ~ ~ ~ ~’s words rang in my ears. “Hopefully, I can forgive you soon…” Why couldn’t be it (name)? I wanted so hard to apologize, and now she’s still not here with me… Tears still ran down my face. I still regret what I did two months ago. But she’s not coming back to me, is she?

Sitting up against the very locker, at the very place where I had hurt her, I looked at the small classroom, wondering where she is. (name)…

I decided to wipe my tears and ran around the school, trying to find her. Maybe I should try again… Even Francis had the courage to do it.

We both wanted power and popularity.

We both ended up hurting the people we loved the most.

Since he can apologize and regain his most beloved person... God... shouldn’t I get the same, too?

*Normal POV*

Gilbert…

“~ ~ ~ ~ ~, please give him a chance.."
“I don’t care what you think about me. I am the same as Francis. I hurt the girl I liked, and now, she’s not here with me anymore..”
"I shouldn’t have looked away. I should have apologized again, no matter what it took. I promise you, I won’t do anything to you anymore, so go find him, and let him apologize to you. Please. Bitte.”

It was the first time in your life that you saw Gilbert beg someone to forgive his friend. Although your throat is clenched, your face carries no emotion. You didn’t have tears in your eyes either, but you looked blankly at him from a distance. Maybe I should ask ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ how to regain emotions…

Since the day you became an empty shell, you tried very hard not to forgive Gilbert, hoping that maybe your actions would stop Gilbert from wanting popularity. But he struggled and struggled, coming everyday, asking you for an apology, trying so hard to bring back the best friend he once had.

You relented, and resisted against Gilbert, who, after a month, gave up. And after Gilbert gave up, you still remained expressionless. Antonio asked you over and over, and everyone begged you to forgive Gilbert.

Even Mathias and Alfred told you to give them their awesome Gilbert back. But you stayed angry at them, and blamed them. Mathias looked and felt guilty, and Alfred too, but you still screamed at them, “I should be the one asking you to give me back my Gilbert!" Although you initially thought that their words ring hollow, but it was yours that did.

And now even Ludwig and Feliciano had come to you to apologize for Gilbert, but your stubbornness made you refuse them coldly. But they didn’t give up, and kept telling you that it wasn’t too late to forgive him. Even so, you kept your façade, and they too, gave up.

Gilbert changed. He started to become a bully. You thought that Gilbert was only doing it because he wanted attention from you. But you were wrong. He didn’t know what to do with his raging emotions that you rejected. He bullied another girl, another honor student. And the first time you saw her, you thought of the same thing he did.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ was a carbon copy of me.

An emotionless girl, a person who pushed her feelings aside and confronted pain by keeping up a mask. But in reality, both you and Gilbert were both wrong. You were fooling yourself.

Although the feeling emanating from her was just like yours, she wasn’t an emotionless shell; she merely hid her feelings for the guy she loved, and was willing to forgive him when he apologized. You weren’t. You were a heartless girl who was unwilling to forgive the person she loved the most.

But you knew it wasn’t Gilbert’s fault. You had been so quick in your judgement to abandon him. You loved him so much, and you knew he loved you too. You shouldn’t have cast him away. Why didn’t I forgive him? Why? Why couldn't I, at the very least, listen to what he has to say? To realize that a few words could destroy your faith in Gilbert, something you know wasn't what he actually felt, made you want to go back in time to stop yourself from making that mistake.

That, you know, isn't possible. But will he be willing to talk to me? How can I even approach him when I haven't talked to him in ages!

But then your feet started moving on their own, and soon you ran, scanning the empty hallways for any sign of Gilbert. But no matter where you went, you couldn’t find him. Feeling defeated, you went back to that same classroom, and put your face down on that very desk, just like that day. Like that day when Gilbert had broken your heart.

Suddenly, the door slammed open, and Gilbert stood there, panting. Raising your head and looking towards the door, you stood up slowly and walked to the door. Gilbert immediately blocked it with his body, and you glanced at his ruby red eyes that were determined to say something.

“Why are you here, Gilbert? I thought I told you to stay away from me.” NO!! That’s not I want to say!! Your mind screamed. But Gilbert didn’t budge. He stood there, regaining his breath. “(name), I wanted to say… I’m sorry. If you really don’t want me around anymore, I’ll leave you and you won’t see me again.”

Pausing for a bit, Gilbert mustered his strength and stopping his tears from leaving his eyes, trying to see your reaction. But you were silent and speechless from the shock, but Gilbert felt as if he already knew your answer and said silently, "Thanks for all the good times.” After he finished, he dropped the keys to your house into your open palms, and walked out of the room, closing the door gently.

But now, you knew how it felt. Seeing Gilbert walk away, you finally understood. So this was how it felt to be left behind… It felt just like that day over again. But now, he’s going to leave me forever if I don’t do anything… You hit your head a few times, the look in your eyes becoming determined. To hell with being scared about another heartbreak!! Slamming the door open, you shouted out to him once more.

“Gilbert, please, wait!” Hearing your voice, Gilbert turned around. You ran after him as if you would never see him again. And when you finally reached him, you threw yourself over Gilbert, who was taken aback by your actions. “I forgive you...I’m so sorry…” you whispered, and after a few moments, Gilbert wraps his arms around you.

“I heard her. And I heard you. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for not being able to forgive you…” Feeling that his shirt was becoming damp, Gilbert looked at your face morosely, and wiped your eyes with his thumbs.

“No, it was my fault. I hurt you so badly, it scarred you. You were alone, and I…” Gilbert stopped in the middle of his reply, and you knew he couldn’t continue. “It’s fine, Gil… I should be the one saying sorry… Because of my cowardice… you suffered. You tried so hard, you came to my house everyday...and still, I ignored you.” Running your fingers through Gilbert's soft silver hair, you continued whilst Gilbert remained silent, listening to you.

“I was scared to death you would reject me again, say those painful words again… But I was wrong to doubt you. You’re my best friend… and at that time, my boyfriend too… I should have had more…more faith in you…Even everyone around you begged me… But I was too afraid to listen...” The tears would not stop, and you sobbed uncontrollably, putting your face against Gilbert’s chest, finding comfort in the sensation of his warmth once again.

“Everyone did?” Gilbert was surprised. No one had ever told him about it. “Antonio, Francis, Ludwig, Feli, heck, even Alfred and Mathias…They demanded I give back their awesome Gilbert Beilschmidt…” Wiping your face free of tears, you smiled softly. “You have great friends, and I do as well. Eliza was adamant that you were wrong, but even she wanted me to hear you out, you know? As for Mathias, I forgive him now, but I was blind then. I'm sorry... for keeping you waiting.”

“No more apologies…mädchen. And one more thing…” Bending down, Gilbert kissed you, taking you by surprise. “You’re always gonna be my girlfriend…mein and mein alone…”

Hugging Gilbert, you stayed sitting down with him, in his arms, for what seems like an eternity.

“Gilbert?” “Ja, Mädchen?” “You kept your pinky promise! So I’m gonna keep mine too, and stay with the most awesome guy in the whole world!"