HOME | DD

Description
Please, take the time to read this before commenting or just leave this page without caring at all.

First of all, there is no self harm in this picture. This is masochism, it's not immediately related to self harm. The wounds in this picture may be caused by himself, or may be caused by someone else who was clearly sadistic, but there is no self harm in this painting.

Secondly, this is my very first digital painting, so don't be too hard on me. I had another painting in my gallery, but too me that's a sketch and not a real painting. So consider this my first digital painting. I had so much trouble keeping my own style and drawing without line art. But after all I think it was worth it.

Then thirdly, I don't think I need to put a mature warning on this. And if you do, then just say it and I might put a warning on it.

Then the important thing I want to say, fourthly, masochism isn't something bad as a lot of people think. It may be sick or weird to you, but to me, and many others, it's not that bad. Masochism has this reputation, that it's related to self harm, that these people are sick, that all they want is pain, that they like pain physically. But that's not true. Masochism can also be mentally, or at least in you imagination. And it's not that when we hurt ourselves by accident, we like it. It's not that somebody will hit us we like it. Those who do enjoy that kind of pain, are what I call sick. But masochism in my opinion and in my case isn't like that. I can imagine that there are people who enjoy the pain when somebody hits them, but that is something else than when a person hits you while you didn't ask for it. There's a line between these two things. And so is there a line between self harm and masochism. Not everybody who hurts themselves likes the pain, and not everybody who likes pain hurt themselves. To be honest, self harm is something I've been doing for attention and not because I enjoyed the pain. Not saying I did not enjoy it, but I never did it for joy, neither will I ever do it for joy. My joy is usually mentally, when I think about such sweet pain and when I hurt myself by torturing my characters. My characters are all part of me, not like you can ever imagine, they are like my friends but at the same time they're nothing but parts of me and my life. When I draw them being tortured - trust me, I never posted those pictures even though they were good and not just some bloody mess without any messages - I enjoy the pain in it. That is not sadistic to me, that is masochism. But I do admit, when I see blood, I love it. When I have a wound, I love it and I will keep touching and scratching it until it's bleeding again, over and over. I love that. Just love it. Not the pain I feel while scratching the wound, but the feeling after it.

Before I get these comments asking if I am OK. Yes I am OK, I feel better than I ever have. As I said, masochism isn't something negative, not to me. I have always enjoyed pain, blood and torture. Ever since I was a baby. I mean it. I have always been imagining about torture and pain, which I still do, and it's something beautiful in my eyes. It has always been something good to me. I used to say that I am sadistic and that I like horror, but that's not even near anything I draw. All of my art is about masochism. Everything bloody is masochism to me, and I love it so don't worry about me. I am not suicidal. I hate suicide because it is weak and sick. Enjoying pain is strength. Killing yourself without being brave enough to feel pain is weak. Killing yourself is something you do to end pain right? And as I enjoy pain, I'd never kill myself because of it. Another thing, my case is not as bad as many of you will imagine. I don't like to cut myself, even though the pain and blood is so beautiful. I just don't like it. So don't expect I will do it ever again for joy. I may have been doing it a lot, and I may have kept all of this secret for everybody, even my parents and closest friends, it is just no part of my life anymore. Masochism is still a big role in my life, and will probably always be. Only it's not as negative as you may expect.

I will now stop my story, before you start to think I am ranting. I mean, I am not depressed, sad or anything. I like posting this, and I like having you go "EWWW" because you think it's ridiculous.

Darwin / Art © Me.
Lyrics © Muse - "New Born"

Description
Please, take the time to read this before commenting or just leave this page without caring at all.

First of all, there is no self harm in this picture. This is masochism, it's not immediately related to self harm. The wounds in this picture may be caused by himself, or may be caused by someone else who was clearly sadistic, but there is no self harm in this painting.

Secondly, this is my very first digital painting, so don't be too hard on me. I had another painting in my gallery, but too me that's a sketch and not a real painting. So consider this my first digital painting. I had so much trouble keeping my own style and drawing without line art. But after all I think it was worth it.

Then thirdly, I don't think I need to put a mature warning on this. And if you do, then just say it and I might put a warning on it.

Then the important thing I want to say, fourthly, masochism isn't something bad as a lot of people think. It may be sick or weird to you, but to me, and many others, it's not that bad. Masochism has this reputation, that it's related to self harm, that these people are sick, that all they want is pain, that they like pain physically. But that's not true. Masochism can also be mentally, or at least in you imagination. And it's not that when we hurt ourselves by accident, we like it. It's not that somebody will hit us we like it. Those who do enjoy that kind of pain, are what I call sick. But masochism in my opinion and in my case isn't like that. I can imagine that there are people who enjoy the pain when somebody hits them, but that is something else than when a person hits you while you didn't ask for it. There's a line between these two things. And so is there a line between self harm and masochism. Not everybody who hurts themselves likes the pain, and not everybody who likes pain hurt themselves. To be honest, self harm is something I've been doing for attention and not because I enjoyed the pain. Not saying I did not enjoy it, but I never did it for joy, neither will I ever do it for joy. My joy is usually mentally, when I think about such sweet pain and when I hurt myself by torturing my characters. My characters are all part of me, not like you can ever imagine, they are like my friends but at the same time they're nothing but parts of me and my life. When I draw them being tortured - trust me, I never posted those pictures even though they were good and not just some bloody mess without any messages - I enjoy the pain in it. That is not sadistic to me, that is masochism. But I do admit, when I see blood, I love it. When I have a wound, I love it and I will keep touching and scratching it until it's bleeding again, over and over. I love that. Just love it. Not the pain I feel while scratching the wound, but the feeling after it.

Before I get these comments asking if I am OK. Yes I am OK, I feel better than I ever have. As I said, masochism isn't something negative, not to me. I have always enjoyed pain, blood and torture. Ever since I was a baby. I mean it. I have always been imagining about torture and pain, which I still do, and it's something beautiful in my eyes. It has always been something good to me. I used to say that I am sadistic and that I like horror, but that's not even near anything I draw. All of my art is about masochism. Everything bloody is masochism to me, and I love it so don't worry about me. I am not suicidal. I hate suicide because it is weak and sick. Enjoying pain is strength. Killing yourself without being brave enough to feel pain is weak. Killing yourself is something you do to end pain right? And as I enjoy pain, I'd never kill myself because of it. Another thing, my case is not as bad as many of you will imagine. I don't like to cut myself, even though the pain and blood is so beautiful. I just don't like it. So don't expect I will do it ever again for joy. I may have been doing it a lot, and I may have kept all of this secret for everybody, even my parents and closest friends, it is just no part of my life anymore. Masochism is still a big role in my life, and will probably always be. Only it's not as negative as you may expect.

I will now stop my story, before you start to think I am ranting. I mean, I am not depressed, sad or anything. I like posting this, and I like having you go "EWWW" because you think it's ridiculous.

Darwin / Art © Me.
Lyrics © Muse - "New Born"