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luckylisa — Catch Me Before I Fall
Published: 2004-05-11 04:07:12 +0000 UTC; Views: 4475; Favourites: 187; Downloads: 49
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Description Catch me before I fall
But it's too late
For I have already fallen
Hit so hard my body cracked
My heart shattered within
Shutting myself down
Closing up to others
My silence forever kept
Catch me before I fall
But it's too late
My horrors now revealed
You're gone forever
And I'm standing here alone
Lost and foresaken
Catch me before I fall
But it's too late
My visions now hazed
Coldness seeping in
Freezing my internal organs
Lost in time and space
Frozen expressions of sadness
No longer do I exist
Catch me before I fall
But it's too late
For I have already fallen
Hit so hard I died in an instant
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Comments: 160

MarcoHerrera [2013-07-26 04:44:01 +0000 UTC]

  

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luckylisa In reply to MarcoHerrera [2013-08-14 21:05:30 +0000 UTC]

thank you

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WiNGz69 [2013-02-08 12:37:04 +0000 UTC]

Its beautiful - I love it : ).

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luckylisa In reply to WiNGz69 [2013-02-08 15:26:23 +0000 UTC]

thank you

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sonia-p [2012-04-19 15:17:47 +0000 UTC]

Very nice.

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luckylisa In reply to sonia-p [2012-04-19 15:30:06 +0000 UTC]

thank you!

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robostorm [2012-04-15 17:59:00 +0000 UTC]

"say you're here, or it's all over now"

Sorry, I just had to quote the song Whisper since, I actually clicked on this poem because of the title being in the song, but this poem is really good, quite amazing!! Keep writing!!!!

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luckylisa In reply to robostorm [2012-04-19 15:50:51 +0000 UTC]

thank you

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heavenlytouch [2012-04-01 11:21:00 +0000 UTC]

This one is quite good, but I think it will be better if you choose a GOOD subject like rain, night, or even light. Sorry, but I think this poem is pointless. You may use subjects above to give some colors to your poems so they're alive ! Sorry, I just want to help and bring suggestion. Overall, quite good !

👍: 0 ⏩: 2

luckylisa In reply to heavenlytouch [2012-04-02 20:36:43 +0000 UTC]

thanks!

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heavenlytouch In reply to luckylisa [2012-04-03 07:02:05 +0000 UTC]

Your welcome !

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XJNG In reply to heavenlytouch [2012-04-01 12:54:38 +0000 UTC]

Excuse me, but give that the subject of the poem is quite clearly an emotional experience, it's quite rude to say that a poem is pointless or that the poet should be writing about another subject. Subjects are what the poem is about. Changing the subject means changing the poem.

Now, to the poem itself, the sentiments aren't entirely original, but the way you expressed them (a physical shattering) is quite effective. The last line is particularly powerful. I do, however, think that you might want to break this poem into stanzas, which would make it clearer and easier to read.

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heavenlytouch In reply to XJNG [2012-04-02 06:53:00 +0000 UTC]

Sorry if that's quite rude, but I just want to help...
Anyway, thanks for reminding me to be careful and consider about my critique. Thanks for that !

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Neokiriya [2012-03-04 05:59:32 +0000 UTC]

Cool! and very dark poetry!

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luckylisa In reply to Neokiriya [2012-03-05 01:21:22 +0000 UTC]

thank you

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CityAngel6 [2012-03-03 21:23:12 +0000 UTC]

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luckylisa In reply to CityAngel6 [2012-03-05 01:23:06 +0000 UTC]

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CutToTheSex [2011-05-09 23:07:11 +0000 UTC]

This is an emotional poem. It's very good.

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luckylisa In reply to CutToTheSex [2011-05-09 23:38:17 +0000 UTC]

thank you

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rachelistorn [2011-02-23 17:55:50 +0000 UTC]

this is very good and descriptive. did it help writing this.

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luckylisa In reply to rachelistorn [2011-03-06 23:38:25 +0000 UTC]

thank you. yes in some ways it did.

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Loving-Daughter [2011-01-14 00:27:54 +0000 UTC]

Lots of feeling here....great poem.

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luckylisa In reply to Loving-Daughter [2011-01-14 06:37:16 +0000 UTC]

thank you so much!

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Loving-Daughter In reply to luckylisa [2011-01-14 12:07:03 +0000 UTC]

Very welcome.

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ToSeeIfIStillFeel [2010-12-18 15:05:39 +0000 UTC]

I normally really dont like spoken but i love this

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luckylisa In reply to ToSeeIfIStillFeel [2010-12-19 01:02:23 +0000 UTC]

thank you

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TheCriticofInnocence [2010-07-27 12:17:36 +0000 UTC]

Beautiful. she asks for help from her pain, but sadly it is too late, for she has already fallen, cold and dead. Exceptionally Well done!

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luckylisa In reply to TheCriticofInnocence [2010-10-10 05:42:48 +0000 UTC]

thank you!

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AndromedaII [2010-03-24 13:10:36 +0000 UTC]

You've been featured here on 3/24/10 [link]

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luckylisa In reply to AndromedaII [2010-03-24 19:21:53 +0000 UTC]

aww thank you sooooo much!!!

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AndromedaII In reply to luckylisa [2010-03-25 13:23:03 +0000 UTC]

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winkingatlife [2009-12-30 09:11:37 +0000 UTC]

its amazing...!!

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luckylisa In reply to winkingatlife [2010-01-07 03:37:04 +0000 UTC]

thank you

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winkingatlife In reply to luckylisa [2010-01-07 07:20:23 +0000 UTC]

welcum..!!

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scheinbar [2009-10-23 23:02:34 +0000 UTC]

featured : [link]
hope you like it

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luckylisa In reply to scheinbar [2009-11-13 23:51:48 +0000 UTC]

thank you so much

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DarkRiderDLMC [2009-09-09 06:23:52 +0000 UTC]

I had not seen this one, it's from WAY before I hit DA.

Most really good lit. dev's are lucky to have 100 faves after several years, this has over 150...

...and well deserved.

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luckylisa In reply to DarkRiderDLMC [2009-09-09 10:43:46 +0000 UTC]

aww thank you!

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Essenique-Arts [2009-09-08 01:47:26 +0000 UTC]

Very powerful emotions with great imagery!

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luckylisa In reply to Essenique-Arts [2009-09-08 02:22:01 +0000 UTC]

thank you!

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Essenique-Arts In reply to luckylisa [2009-09-13 14:19:30 +0000 UTC]

Welcome!

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AnimadellaRosa [2009-08-25 15:42:21 +0000 UTC]

Great poem, Marissa! There's much depth to your words. Feeling the emotions that many have experienced at some time in their lives.

Your words would make great lyrics to a song!

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luckylisa In reply to AnimadellaRosa [2009-08-25 18:40:52 +0000 UTC]

aww thanks hun

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AnimadellaRosa In reply to luckylisa [2009-08-28 19:39:42 +0000 UTC]

You're most welcome!

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Brandee-Ssj-Doll [2009-08-05 02:02:46 +0000 UTC]

Wow! This poem is amazing. I've been trying to get into poetry myself, but I haven't come up with anything this deep or profound. Bravo!

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luckylisa In reply to Brandee-Ssj-Doll [2009-08-05 03:37:59 +0000 UTC]

thank you so much!

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Brandee-Ssj-Doll In reply to luckylisa [2009-08-05 03:48:27 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome.

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euphoricmadness [2009-07-30 00:58:04 +0000 UTC]

The last line gave me chills. Good one.

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luckylisa In reply to euphoricmadness [2009-07-30 16:37:11 +0000 UTC]

aw thank you

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starlight2infinity [2009-07-18 10:16:04 +0000 UTC]

A very powerful one Marissa

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