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Description
*somewhere near a dark river in the Otherworld*

Usher: Welcome, my friends!

Hemlock: Good morning, Usher.

Usher: A good morning it is indeed, my Dear Hemlock!

Lore: Hello, Usher. Would you take us to the North-Western point, please?

Usher: So polite, Sweet Lore. Of course I will. Climb into my boat and we shall proceed!

Rictus: Hi Usher!

Usher: Darling! You look so handsome today.

Rictus: Do I?!

Usher: Oh yes! Would Usher ever lie?

Lore: *cough*

Usher: Your hair is especially fluffy and dark this morning. It is like the feathers of a lustrous raven.

Rictus: Kkk-hee-hee… thank you!

Usher: Do you know, Sweetling, how ravens court one another? When a raven spies another raven that he would like to mate with, he brings delicious bits of food and shiny baubles.

Rictus: That’s awfully nice of him…

Usher: Yes! A feathered gentleman, he is! Then he puts on a very daring aerial display for her amusement. If she is suitably impressed, they will soon share a nest together. Wouldn’t it be nice, my Riccy, if we could fly away to a private little nest and live happily together, just Usher and Rictus?

Rictus: We can’t, Usher.

Usher: No?

Rictus: We can’t live anywhere. We’re dead, remember?

Lore: He’s got you there, Usher.

Usher: Ah! The arrow of truth strikes my heart! You are right, my friends. We are quite dead. Like doornails, we are.

Rictus: Hey Usher, why do people want to use doornails anyway? I mean, what’s the point of having a door if you’re just going to nail it shut?

Usher: A misunderstanding, my Love. Doornails are hammered into a door to make it stronger, not to nail it closed. A closed door is a terrible thing. It eliminates all possibilities. And ah… entrances.

Rictus: Oooh, okay. But how’d the doornails die?

Usher: Likely it was from being repeatedly being hit on the head and the ass with a hammer.

Hemlock: Poor little guys.

Usher: You know, my Darling, Usher was once killed with a hammer.

Lore: *facepalm* Oh Gods, here we go…

Rictus: Really?

Usher: When Usher was nineteen years of age, he managed to get a date with the most popular girl in the village. Babette, she was called. She had long dark hair, big blue eyes and curves like a country road. Such a good girl, so capable and so clever.

Rictus: She sounds nice!

Usher: She was better than nice, Sweetling. She was like a glint of sunshine on a cloudy autumn day! So we arranged a date, and Usher picked the most beautiful bouquet of flowers and was waiting for her beside the old cobblestone wall. Time passed, and just as poor Usher started to worry that he had been stood up, a figure appeared in front of him!

Rictus: Was it Babette?

Usher: No! It was Martin Malcrosse, the rival of Usher! Such a malicious mountebank, Martin was. He spat on the ground, looked old Usher straight in the eyes, and do you know what he said?

Rictus: Did he tell you to piss off and not go out with Babette?

Usher: Even worse! He asked me to lend him a copper! The presumption!

Lore: That’s… not actually very much money though.

Usher: Quite right, it isn’t! Not much at all. So being the kind, generous and handsome man that he is, Usher decides to grant that misbegotten malcontent his wish. Poor Usher reaches into his pocket and then lowers his head to look at his handful of coins and pick out a copper. And that was when it happened!

Rictus: He hit you with the hammer?!

Usher: No! I found the copper!

Rictus: Oh…

Usher: And when I lifted my head to smile and show it to him, BAM! THAT is when he hit me in the head with a hammer! BAM! BAM! So many times poor Usher was bashed by that murderous maniac Martin! I tried to keep count at first, but after the forty-seventh time the game was less amusing and I stopped playing. What a sight it was! Blood and spare change everywhere! The cobblestone wall was painted crimson!!

Lore: Ugh, this story's pretty gruesome, Usher.

Usher: Poor Usher. By the time I opened my eyes to the sight of the Reapers who had come to fetch me, I was so woozy from the cracking that I was sure there were nine of them. In fact, Usher was so dizzy that his soul could not walk for fourteen days!

Rictus: How’d you get around if you couldn’t walk?

Usher: Hmm… a good question, Cher. I suppose I must have cartwheeled.

Rictus: Wouldn’t that make you even dizzier?

Usher: Yes, my Darling. Not a very well-thought out alternative, was it? Oh well, life goes on. Or perhaps not, if one is brutally done away with. Ha ha! Oh, look! Here we are, the North-Western point. Careful getting out now, my friends, the bank is slippery.

Lore: Thank you, Usher.

Usher: You’re most welcome, my Scribe!

Hemlock: Thank you Usher. Oh, I almost forgot… here, I’ve made some orange oil for you.

Usher: Hemlock, you are the epitome of kindness! What a genius alchemist you are! I thank you from the bottom of my unbeating heart!

Hemlock: You’re welcome. Would you mind waiting for us to get back with the soul? We won’t be long.

Usher: Of course, of course! Old Usher never minds. This is Usher’s job, yes? You go and get the cargo, the Ferryman will be here for you.

Rictus: Thanks Usher. See you in a little bit!

Usher: Riccy my Darling, if I dabbed some of this orange oil onto my neck, would it make me smell delicious? Would you want to bite me, Sweet?

Rictus: What? I’d never bite you, Usher, we’re pals!

Usher: Not even a nibble? A lick? No? Nothing at all? …. Ah. They are gone. Now Usher must wait. No one here but a Guardian, his boat, the river and the old tree on the bank. *sigh* You know, Old Tree, Usher was hung from a tree like you once. What an evening that was! The trouble started when Usher innocently asked the dwarven barmaid for a glass of red wine and a slice of broiled radish…

Today's featured Reapers are Usher Ferryman, Rictus Gravewhisper, Hemlock Dustborn and Lore Shadowmurk. If you'd like to see pictures of these original characters and their other Reaper friends, please check out their gallery !

To read Hemlock's story, click here
To read Lore's story, click here
To read Rictus' story, click here
To read Usher's story, click here

You may NOT reupload or edit my images or use them for your own avatars, fiction or roleplays. None of my characters are available for sale, trade or adoption.

Description
*somewhere near a dark river in the Otherworld*

Usher: Welcome, my friends!

Hemlock: Good morning, Usher.

Usher: A good morning it is indeed, my Dear Hemlock!

Lore: Hello, Usher. Would you take us to the North-Western point, please?

Usher: So polite, Sweet Lore. Of course I will. Climb into my boat and we shall proceed!

Rictus: Hi Usher!

Usher: Darling! You look so handsome today.

Rictus: Do I?!

Usher: Oh yes! Would Usher ever lie?

Lore: *cough*

Usher: Your hair is especially fluffy and dark this morning. It is like the feathers of a lustrous raven.

Rictus: Kkk-hee-hee… thank you!

Usher: Do you know, Sweetling, how ravens court one another? When a raven spies another raven that he would like to mate with, he brings delicious bits of food and shiny baubles.

Rictus: That’s awfully nice of him…

Usher: Yes! A feathered gentleman, he is! Then he puts on a very daring aerial display for her amusement. If she is suitably impressed, they will soon share a nest together. Wouldn’t it be nice, my Riccy, if we could fly away to a private little nest and live happily together, just Usher and Rictus?

Rictus: We can’t, Usher.

Usher: No?

Rictus: We can’t live anywhere. We’re dead, remember?

Lore: He’s got you there, Usher.

Usher: Ah! The arrow of truth strikes my heart! You are right, my friends. We are quite dead. Like doornails, we are.

Rictus: Hey Usher, why do people want to use doornails anyway? I mean, what’s the point of having a door if you’re just going to nail it shut?

Usher: A misunderstanding, my Love. Doornails are hammered into a door to make it stronger, not to nail it closed. A closed door is a terrible thing. It eliminates all possibilities. And ah… entrances.

Rictus: Oooh, okay. But how’d the doornails die?

Usher: Likely it was from being repeatedly being hit on the head and the ass with a hammer.

Hemlock: Poor little guys.

Usher: You know, my Darling, Usher was once killed with a hammer.

Lore: *facepalm* Oh Gods, here we go…

Rictus: Really?

Usher: When Usher was nineteen years of age, he managed to get a date with the most popular girl in the village. Babette, she was called. She had long dark hair, big blue eyes and curves like a country road. Such a good girl, so capable and so clever.

Rictus: She sounds nice!

Usher: She was better than nice, Sweetling. She was like a glint of sunshine on a cloudy autumn day! So we arranged a date, and Usher picked the most beautiful bouquet of flowers and was waiting for her beside the old cobblestone wall. Time passed, and just as poor Usher started to worry that he had been stood up, a figure appeared in front of him!

Rictus: Was it Babette?

Usher: No! It was Martin Malcrosse, the rival of Usher! Such a malicious mountebank, Martin was. He spat on the ground, looked old Usher straight in the eyes, and do you know what he said?

Rictus: Did he tell you to piss off and not go out with Babette?

Usher: Even worse! He asked me to lend him a copper! The presumption!

Lore: That’s… not actually very much money though.

Usher: Quite right, it isn’t! Not much at all. So being the kind, generous and handsome man that he is, Usher decides to grant that misbegotten malcontent his wish. Poor Usher reaches into his pocket and then lowers his head to look at his handful of coins and pick out a copper. And that was when it happened!

Rictus: He hit you with the hammer?!

Usher: No! I found the copper!

Rictus: Oh…

Usher: And when I lifted my head to smile and show it to him, BAM! THAT is when he hit me in the head with a hammer! BAM! BAM! So many times poor Usher was bashed by that murderous maniac Martin! I tried to keep count at first, but after the forty-seventh time the game was less amusing and I stopped playing. What a sight it was! Blood and spare change everywhere! The cobblestone wall was painted crimson!!

Lore: Ugh, this story's pretty gruesome, Usher.

Usher: Poor Usher. By the time I opened my eyes to the sight of the Reapers who had come to fetch me, I was so woozy from the cracking that I was sure there were nine of them. In fact, Usher was so dizzy that his soul could not walk for fourteen days!

Rictus: How’d you get around if you couldn’t walk?

Usher: Hmm… a good question, Cher. I suppose I must have cartwheeled.

Rictus: Wouldn’t that make you even dizzier?

Usher: Yes, my Darling. Not a very well-thought out alternative, was it? Oh well, life goes on. Or perhaps not, if one is brutally done away with. Ha ha! Oh, look! Here we are, the North-Western point. Careful getting out now, my friends, the bank is slippery.

Lore: Thank you, Usher.

Usher: You’re most welcome, my Scribe!

Hemlock: Thank you Usher. Oh, I almost forgot… here, I’ve made some orange oil for you.

Usher: Hemlock, you are the epitome of kindness! What a genius alchemist you are! I thank you from the bottom of my unbeating heart!

Hemlock: You’re welcome. Would you mind waiting for us to get back with the soul? We won’t be long.

Usher: Of course, of course! Old Usher never minds. This is Usher’s job, yes? You go and get the cargo, the Ferryman will be here for you.

Rictus: Thanks Usher. See you in a little bit!

Usher: Riccy my Darling, if I dabbed some of this orange oil onto my neck, would it make me smell delicious? Would you want to bite me, Sweet?

Rictus: What? I’d never bite you, Usher, we’re pals!

Usher: Not even a nibble? A lick? No? Nothing at all? …. Ah. They are gone. Now Usher must wait. No one here but a Guardian, his boat, the river and the old tree on the bank. *sigh* You know, Old Tree, Usher was hung from a tree like you once. What an evening that was! The trouble started when Usher innocently asked the dwarven barmaid for a glass of red wine and a slice of broiled radish…

Today's featured Reapers are Usher Ferryman, Rictus Gravewhisper, Hemlock Dustborn and Lore Shadowmurk. If you'd like to see pictures of these original characters and their other Reaper friends, please check out their gallery !

To read Hemlock's story, click here
To read Lore's story, click here
To read Rictus' story, click here
To read Usher's story, click here

You may NOT reupload or edit my images or use them for your own avatars, fiction or roleplays. None of my characters are available for sale, trade or adoption.