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loveasachoice [2019-06-14 06:13:50 +0000 UTC]

Hey there! I came over from ProjectComment !

I couldn't help but to pick this deviation to comment on because it's so neat to see Reverse Falls crop up again! But also because the the gentle, sketchy style of this page is really cute. Pacifica's expressions are really bright and easy-to-read, and she looks overall very sweet and feminine in your style.

For the writing, I would say this is a pretty good hook, for a first page! It brings us right in and also harkens to the canon intro of Gravity Falls, which is something I always think is cool for an AU. I would recommend keeping the font size consistent, and making the text boxes a little smaller, as right now they're sort of overwhelming the panels. Additionally, the color bleed on the panels is a little distracting, and easily fixed with the square select tool and a white fill. The panel layout is pretty basic, but that works for this page, and I saw you shaking it up a little with page 2 as well. Don't be afraid to experiment, though! Try imitating different layouts in comics you've read and enjoy!

Somebody else pointed out that the welcome sign isn't backwards in the window, but since it is Reverse Falls, I wonder if that was intentional? If it was, you might consider including another sign or object with a definite directional orientation in the reflection, to demonstrate that to the viewer.

All that said, it's really awesome that you're doing a comic! It can be so hard to keep up motivation for those and I can already tell you're doing a great job. Keep it up!

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GalaxyGirlLG [2019-05-12 11:17:19 +0000 UTC]

Cant wait to see you do the whole comic!No pressure tho none of it!Take you're time!:3

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lutias [2019-05-12 09:19:42 +0000 UTC]

Hey, another GF brand new fancomic! They have become so rare nowadays, these stories need to be cherished <3

It shows that this is your first attempt at a multi-page comic, but projects like these need to be supported, especially when you're just getting started! I know from experience how hard it can be to work on a comic, so I wish you all the determination and courage you're going to need for this!

If you don't mind, here are maybe a few minor nitpicks: I assume English isn't your first language so I'm willing to be tolerant about mistakes every now and then, but there still are a few in the text and, sadly, that's not the best introduction to a story one can make. Not everyone is a grammar nazi like I am (ironically English isn't even my first language either so welp), but it can still deter a bunch of new readers. At the very least, while it's not something that everybody does in comics, I would suggest that either you use punctuation everywhere, or don't at all: in this first page, your use of syntax seems inconsistent, so it would be preferable if you could choose your method for the syntax and stick to it.

Also, it might be a rather minor detail, but in the second panel (top right of the page), the "Welcome to Reverse Falls" should be in reverse, since it's a reflection on what I suppose to be a bus's window.

I would comment on the art style, but seeing what kind of masterpieces your regular fanart look like in your gallery, I'm assuming that the style in this comic is the way it is not because of your lack of talent, but rather because you chose to draw it this way, for one reason or another; maybe the amount of time and effort it'd need to make extra quality in every single panel would be too much, and that in itself is understandable. And regarding the plot, well, it's way too early to say anything about it. I know what Reverse Falls is about and I mostly know that there are multiple takes on that AU's setting, so I'm willing to follow this comic and see where this goes ;3

That being said -- I hope I wasn't too harsh, because as I said at first, GF fancomics are rare and must be encouraged, especially nowadays! With the show finished for more than three years, somebody has to keep the fandom alive -- it's very pleasant to rediscover every now and then that we're not as alone as we thought.

Anyway, I wish you a good day, and good luck with your comic!

(Btw, I visited your profile and apparently yesterday was your birthday? Happy birthday then! ^^)

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