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masterdevil — Years
Published: 2005-09-06 15:48:50 +0000 UTC; Views: 272; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 4
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Description Year 1
Just lying there in bed
without a care in the world
Mom's little angel
Daddy's pretty girl
God said, "Lay my darling! these are youe days."

Year 5
Off to school, with a smile on her face
spirits bubbling,no sign of struggling
Not knowing words like 'sadness' or 'disgrace'
God said, "Play my darling! These are your days."

Year 10
Life took a turn into the world of tears
God took Daddy away, but left his little girl to stay.
She asked him "why?". He said, "Nay my darling! (wipe) ur tears away."

Year 17
All that life had to offer her,
she took it with a smile.
'cause though Daddy wasn't there,
her Mom stood by her all the while.
With every step of seccess that she would climb,
She'd look up at the clear blue sky,
and feel God smiling upon her.
He said, "Bless you my darling! Go ahead on your way."

She took up life as a challenge.
A beautiful challenge.
She didn't care about the end
'cause she had made God her true best friend!!
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Comments: 10

deepdarkdesires [2006-01-10 16:50:37 +0000 UTC]

now, i love this one!
it is sooo nice...
the concept is over the top ..
you could make a series out of this one...
liked it a hell lot...
love the way you turned the pain into something so real and beautiful....and of course, optimistic!
take care....

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

masterdevil In reply to deepdarkdesires [2006-01-12 10:29:56 +0000 UTC]

thanks...this is my fav poem. i too was thinking of making it a series....im working on it. let's see what happens!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

deepdarkdesires In reply to masterdevil [2006-01-12 15:35:03 +0000 UTC]

okay then, i will wait till you are done!
buzz me when you are!
take care!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

evicted [2005-11-20 11:10:15 +0000 UTC]

concept's great...as i said earlier...you have to work on how you express your thoughts...and since you're getting advice from people who actually know poetry unlike me...you should take the trouble of editing and re-doing your stuff...work on it a little more till you just know inside...you've done it right!

good start though...

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

masterdevil In reply to evicted [2005-11-21 16:36:06 +0000 UTC]

wow...this was a whole new way of how i wrote my poems....n people have really liked it......i ges i should do more of experimenting!!

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innocentdevil [2005-09-07 15:53:44 +0000 UTC]

Years!!! this word remids me of something!!!

i actually commented on your poem when you called me... so i am roo alzy to re-write it here...

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masterdevil In reply to innocentdevil [2005-09-08 08:29:57 +0000 UTC]

wel, i've kinda like 4gotn wht u sed on da fone.....so just re-rite it wen ur free!!
pls...hehe
thnx neways

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Dezy [2005-09-06 18:39:51 +0000 UTC]

Concept gets an A, again rhyme and pattern is weak, redo it...spend time and work on it...I did, however, like the last line...was very nice...

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Dezy In reply to Dezy [2005-09-08 09:08:43 +0000 UTC]

Well, I write poems on impulse...I probably would need a concept or theme to get me started but then I write more or less on the spot...Monsoon and Eternity took me about 10 mins each to write...I knew what I wanted to write for both Monsoon and Eternity...I just didn't know how I would write it out...what words I would use...artististic bursts...

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masterdevil In reply to Dezy [2005-09-08 08:36:33 +0000 UTC]

hey thnx buddy....
lux like ur a relationship person like me too!!
ill try n work on da rhyme....actually i rite all ma poems on da spot....my brain duznt work all da time....so i ges thts y i mess it up a bit...
well thnx neways....ill try n spend sum time on my poems fm now on!
thnx agn!!
cheers!

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