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mauroz In reply to ??? [2014-07-06 16:56:50 +0000 UTC]

XDD
thanks

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Dream-Dragoness In reply to ??? [2014-07-06 03:03:28 +0000 UTC]

I just wanna smack those girls for hurting Fluttershy like that.

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mauroz In reply to Dream-Dragoness [2014-07-06 16:56:18 +0000 UTC]

yeah -_-

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jonz35 In reply to ??? [2014-07-06 02:57:25 +0000 UTC]

Just to let you know, if you need help in editing English translations, I can help you out.

Anyway, nice take on that Dragonshy reference. And you don't have to be sorry for the delay. We don't want this story to spiral down in quality because of deadlines, do we?

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mauroz In reply to jonz35 [2014-07-06 16:56:08 +0000 UTC]

thank you very much for watching

corrected ^^

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devilassistant In reply to ??? [2014-07-06 02:57:22 +0000 UTC]

As usual fantastic artwork. The part with Fluttershy is a bit dark but it's all in one's opinion. I like the intro to the Wonderbolts and giving each a different sport to participate in is a nice touch. Again no problems in the English except for a few unique word choices that other people have pointed out in the comments so I would give it a 9.5/10.

Positives I like the way you give the characters there own unique character designs instead of making them background stand ins for example Fleetfoot and Lightning Dust even though they didn't appear much in the show you really made them stand out and made them look like actual humans.

Negative The english is a bit weird that take you out of the story because of how weird they sound but besides that nothing else

Again even though you don't speak english ad your translator didn't grow up speaking english I would say just for good measure have someone who grew up speaking english as a native language look over it after the translator. I can tell from experience that grammar in english is annoying and could be a pain sometimes. No matter how much you study it there are always those small things that could mess you up.

Just a suggestion though just to make sure that the comic can translate well into english. 

But besides that thank you for making another good comic and I hope you and your translator have wonderful lives.

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mauroz In reply to devilassistant [2014-07-06 16:54:30 +0000 UTC]

thank you very much for watching. and already corrected parts ^^

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lastlasagna In reply to ??? [2014-07-06 02:54:47 +0000 UTC]

Are you a professional manga-ka? If not, you should be. Seriously good stuff.

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mauroz In reply to lastlasagna [2014-07-06 16:51:21 +0000 UTC]

XD thank you very much

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Dragonliger In reply to ??? [2014-07-06 02:52:47 +0000 UTC]

Hello, I don't want to be rude but I think that at the start you didn't mean phenomenal (I'm guessing since you also post the comic in spanish that's your first language) that you were going for "fenómeno" and that would translate to "freak" or perhaps "freaky" in that case. BTW my native tongue is spanish since I'm mexican.

Friendly passing by: Dliger.

P.S.: Great comic!

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mauroz In reply to Dragonliger [2014-07-06 16:50:13 +0000 UTC]

muchas gracias por el aviso y ya esta corregido ^^

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AJInu-Okami In reply to ??? [2014-07-06 02:39:27 +0000 UTC]

Oh Soarin, you adorkable you XD Awesome introduction to the Wonderbolts.

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mauroz In reply to AJInu-Okami [2014-07-06 16:46:43 +0000 UTC]

thank you very much ^^

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AJInu-Okami In reply to mauroz [2014-07-07 00:04:15 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome

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dcb2art In reply to ??? [2014-07-06 02:37:10 +0000 UTC]

This one I believe is really touching I really feel fluttershy's pain she reminds me of my friend who had problems trying to stand out from the crowd but always gets abused and made fun of. This was a real good one looking forward to the next. 

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mauroz In reply to dcb2art [2014-07-06 16:45:44 +0000 UTC]

thank you very much for watching and that you liked

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NellzDaBlackKing In reply to ??? [2014-07-06 02:24:42 +0000 UTC]

It's that time of the month again when I get to enjoy another page of this kickass comic. But dang, you started off dark with Fluttershy's situation, (and it makes me think back to some bad times), but I love how you executed this though. I also love this introductions to the Wonderbolts and how each member specializes in a certain extreme sports, Fleetfoot with water, Spitfire with air, and Soarin on earth. Overall another good page as always, and keep up the good work. 

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mauroz In reply to NellzDaBlackKing [2014-07-06 16:44:24 +0000 UTC]

thank you very much for watching ^^

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Fighterpilot555 In reply to ??? [2014-07-06 02:24:00 +0000 UTC]

Soarin, the adorable blockhead.

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mauroz In reply to Fighterpilot555 [2014-07-06 16:30:13 +0000 UTC]

XD thank you very much for watching

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CandyGirl105 In reply to ??? [2014-07-06 02:16:20 +0000 UTC]

Rainbow dash you sporty girl ^^

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mauroz In reply to CandyGirl105 [2014-07-06 16:29:20 +0000 UTC]

XD thanks

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CandyGirl105 In reply to mauroz [2014-07-06 16:38:23 +0000 UTC]

Welcome xD

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tatanis211 In reply to ??? [2014-07-06 02:11:54 +0000 UTC]

this made me cry i honestly made me cry. not long ago i was in fluttershy's position and i tried something stupid. long story short the only reason why i'm still around is my body is more stubborn than i am. and i just wanted to say thank you these comic always made my day feel much better today was no different. thank you i want to say more but i'm a little teary and i can't think right.  

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mauroz In reply to tatanis211 [2014-07-06 16:28:11 +0000 UTC]

thank you very much for watching

and good luck . life is hard but you have to get ahead ^^

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GreatnPowerfulBNKing In reply to ??? [2014-07-06 02:01:34 +0000 UTC]

The Feels in the first half *holds tears* but it made me laugh at the bottom half XD, Awesome as usual Ms Mauroz keep up the good work ^w^ 

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mauroz In reply to GreatnPowerfulBNKing [2014-07-06 16:17:16 +0000 UTC]

thank you very much for watching ^^

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DestinyDecade In reply to ??? [2014-07-06 01:45:30 +0000 UTC]

Soarin... ever the sleepyhead.

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mauroz In reply to DestinyDecade [2014-07-06 16:16:35 +0000 UTC]

XD yeah

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Sol1dF3rr3t In reply to ??? [2014-07-06 01:36:55 +0000 UTC]

Spitfire! My favorite pony is in this and is even more awesome. Nice work.

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mauroz In reply to Sol1dF3rr3t [2014-07-06 16:16:24 +0000 UTC]

thank you very much for watching ^^

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DarkJanet In reply to ??? [2014-07-06 01:28:36 +0000 UTC]

Tournament, huh? I think I'll have to sign up.

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mauroz In reply to DarkJanet [2014-07-06 16:15:53 +0000 UTC]

XD yeah
thanks ^^

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DarkJanet In reply to mauroz [2014-07-06 17:08:22 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome.

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123lionclan In reply to ??? [2014-07-06 01:24:05 +0000 UTC]

SOARING IS A LAZY BUM XD I find hat amusing.

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mauroz In reply to 123lionclan [2014-07-06 16:15:24 +0000 UTC]

XD thank you very much

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SwiftestShadow In reply to ??? [2014-07-06 01:03:34 +0000 UTC]

Caught a handful of... problems with the dialogue.

Fluttershy: "Sniff... Why... Why are you doing... this... Sniff... I thought we would be... friends..."
I feel like there are a few too many ellipses, namely, the ones I have underlined. Not too important a detail.
More importantly, "I thought we were friends" would probably be more appropriate. One does not join a group without being friends first after all.

Onlooker: "They're always mistreating her all the time, ..."
While I find the things he said to be awkward in general, I can let that go. What I do have a problem with though is the redundancy of "always" and "all the time". Omit one.

Rainbow Dash: "Jumping into the void!"
A very strange choice of word...
Just "Jumping off the bridge" would probably be more appropriate.

Rainbow Dash: "... You sacrifice your life!"
An inappropriate choice of word. Sacrifice means to basically spend your life for a cause. To exchange it for something. Such as Sacrifice one's life to save another. Sacrifice a pawn in chess.
Not to mention inappropriate time tense.
Should probably reword the entire speech bubble, "How can you be so stupid? Why are you throwing your life away for what others say?"

Rainbow Dash: "And if you do something as foolish as that again, you'll force me to jump with you!"
While foolish works, it doesn't seem to fit Rainbow's usual speech pattern. Consider "stupid"
Though, "jump with you" is also a strange thing to say. By itself, it sounds like "if you kill yourself, I have to kill myself too."
Of course, considering how freaked out Rainbow was, clarity may be the least of her concerns.

Rainbow: "Rainbow."
Fluttershy: "What?"
A minor detail, but saying "what" is a bit rough, so to speak. Doesn't fit Fluttershy's personality.
"Sorry?" would probably fit better.

Anyway, good art and good story overall, but watch the dialogues and monologues. Sometimes, you say things that's just plain odd or simply doesn't work well.

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mauroz In reply to SwiftestShadow [2014-07-06 16:14:38 +0000 UTC]

thank you very much for the details .. and was corrected ^^

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TrueMadayar In reply to SwiftestShadow [2014-07-06 09:30:58 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the effort!

Point A: But that's what Mauroz was trying to express. She was hoping for them to become friends. It's a more Manga-like friendship, when in the group, you're a friend, when not, you're not. You're an aquaintance.

Point B: Completely valid. That was my mistake, I first wrote "always", then "all the time", and forgot to delete the "always". Sent the correction to Mauroz.

Point C: That was a literal translation of the Spanish word he used. I sent a note to Mauroz to replace it with "deep".

Point D: Also literally the word he used in Spanish. I dislike changing his sentences too much, so I took "half" your suggestion and replaced some, including using your "throwing your life away". I like the "trying to please" part because it's within the Manga theme. Sent the correction to Mauroz.

Point E: He definitely didn't use the word "stupid" but "foolish" here, so I kept it. And he also meant "jump with you", so I also voted for keeping it.

Point F: You're right, and it's such a small change. Sent the correction to Mauroz.

Some of your suggestions are actually about the original text. If you want Mauroz to understand it properly, I suggest writing them in Spanish under the original comic. ^_^

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TheNewXv2 In reply to SwiftestShadow [2014-07-06 01:34:30 +0000 UTC]

To be honest, a lot of that is to be expected with this. The person who made this isn't an English speaker, and has to have the comics translated by another person they know, who is bilingual but also not a native English speaker. Hence, they're doing the best they can, but there's still going to be mistakes here and there due to that.  And honestly, for people who don't speak English as their first language, it's actually a pretty good effort at least, when taking that into account.

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DerpyxHooves In reply to SwiftestShadow [2014-07-06 01:18:02 +0000 UTC]

Well, it could just be bad translation. It might've sounded better in the original language these were in.

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Count-Author In reply to ??? [2014-07-06 00:51:41 +0000 UTC]

Spitfire (Badass entrance!)

Fleetfoot ( HOLY CRAP, HOTNESS I JUST WANNA BANG YOU!)

Soarin (HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!!)

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mauroz In reply to Count-Author [2014-07-06 16:13:41 +0000 UTC]

XDD thanks

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Count-Author In reply to mauroz [2014-07-06 16:24:00 +0000 UTC]

Don't mention it, pal! And also I love how you depicted Fluttershy in the beginning. It reminded me a lot of myself. Not in a good way since I remember middle school and how it used to drive me to wanting to kill myself. Not something I'm proud of, but I do always like it when artists make the characters more relatable.

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superpika293 In reply to ??? [2014-07-06 00:47:25 +0000 UTC]

I love the fact that a human city is named Ponyville.

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mauroz In reply to superpika293 [2014-07-06 16:13:08 +0000 UTC]

that has a story but I can not tell XD

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superpika293 In reply to mauroz [2014-07-07 01:06:03 +0000 UTC]

I'm expecting some really strange backstory as to how was named Ponyville.

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sokesamurai In reply to ??? [2014-07-06 00:33:33 +0000 UTC]

Yay, i do love me back-story, will you be giving Pikie and Aj one?
And now to wait for the next installment of this masterpiece.  

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mauroz In reply to sokesamurai [2014-07-06 16:11:40 +0000 UTC]

thank you very much for watching ^^

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LezzyBugO3O In reply to ??? [2014-07-06 00:12:01 +0000 UTC]

I like the hairstyles for the young girls. Really cute!
And damn, Fleetfoot's a cutie!

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