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MuffledScreaming — Potato x Potato!Reader [Crackfic commish]
Published: 2014-03-12 12:52:26 +0000 UTC; Views: 11823; Favourites: 439; Downloads: 0
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The strangest commission I've ever got.
Pfft--
Like seriously.
This is some funny shit man. I have no idea.


He was utterly in love with her. It was the blossoming of a love filled romance between...

Two potatoes.

They lay together in the packet, whispering sweet nothings into eachother's ears. There were also other potatoes there, but they paid them no attention. To them.... They were alone with each other. Just the two of them.

But their situation wasnt exactly the best. What had once been a date in the fields, had somehow came to this. They were hostages. Doitsu the potato, and [Your Name], the potato, were in a grave situation. They held onto eachother like a life line, wanting nothing more than to just go home. They wished to rip out of the packet, and walk back to their field and continue their lives as normal.

But alas... Potatoes have no hands or legs.

And suddenly, the packet was ripped open. Giant fingers plunged into the bag, picking up some of the other victims of this horrible crime. Doitsu the potato held onto his wife, holding tightly as she cried onto his rough skin.

But it was his turn. Doitsu was torn away from his lover, screaming at the top of his potato lungs. She screamed after him, but could not move a muscle. She could not grab onto him and pull her potato back.

For he was already gone.

And for the next five minutes or so, his screams echoed throughout the entire room, accompanied by a soft 'splat' everynow and then. But eventually... All was quiet.
He had became mashed potato.

He died an honourable, but brutal death.

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Comments: 195

potato678 [2017-02-27 15:38:37 +0000 UTC]

noice

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

FanOfEverything12377 [2017-02-03 04:01:54 +0000 UTC]

This makes me so sad, they should've died together as potato lovers!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

FallenChibiAngel [2016-12-15 13:45:26 +0000 UTC]

MrLuckyCreeper

REST IN POTATO

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

MrLuckyCreeper In reply to FallenChibiAngel [2016-12-16 14:42:38 +0000 UTC]

what the

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

FallenChibiAngel In reply to MrLuckyCreeper [2016-12-16 15:15:22 +0000 UTC]

potat

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

MrLuckyCreeper In reply to FallenChibiAngel [2016-12-17 02:33:13 +0000 UTC]

o

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Sonokawa [2016-11-12 15:20:56 +0000 UTC]

I shall never eat potato again

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

daduckzide [2016-11-06 03:10:56 +0000 UTC]

Shipped potato x potato. ship name: potatah

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

YandereAbsol [2016-09-29 15:42:57 +0000 UTC]

;-; I'm crying cause of this
#potatolivesmatter

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ProbablyAPotato [2016-09-04 17:15:57 +0000 UTC]

i am potato
   
 

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Elvishdancer [2016-09-02 16:48:49 +0000 UTC]

So, I got bored and decided 'Oh, hey. Let's google Potato x reader and see what comes up.' This saw the first result so I clicked on it. Lo and behold, I'm now laughing so hard I'm crying. This was awesome 

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

fanart3 In reply to Elvishdancer [2016-10-23 02:18:45 +0000 UTC]

This is exactly what I just did

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

AmusingPotato [2016-08-06 00:54:16 +0000 UTC]

..I cri every tem
Beautiful

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

HetzdaEllen [2016-07-27 14:36:14 +0000 UTC]

#prayforthepotatoes
Rip
Doitsu the potato

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Unearthed-Kitty [2016-04-12 18:32:11 +0000 UTC]

i cri evertim

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Animallover662 [2016-03-30 21:35:04 +0000 UTC]

:'D I laughed extremely hard at this. XDDD

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

SilverStorm101 [2016-03-26 07:59:24 +0000 UTC]

I can't take it any longer! *weeps*

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

perunanaama [2016-03-19 22:36:38 +0000 UTC]

my life feels more complete now. it was so beautiful.
thank you for making this.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

LivMoore [2015-10-18 18:56:14 +0000 UTC]

"Potato lungs" 

I cried omg.   

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

KailanUchiha [2015-07-19 08:32:47 +0000 UTC]

THIS WAS BEAUTIFUL
I CANT EVEN
pfft

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

MuffledScreaming In reply to KailanUchiha [2015-07-21 16:24:33 +0000 UTC]

glad you liked it
the potato misses you dearly

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

KailanUchiha In reply to MuffledScreaming [2015-07-22 03:40:47 +0000 UTC]

you're welcome ; v ;
i bet he does

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

KawaiiFriendlyDrawer [2015-07-12 17:56:01 +0000 UTC]

BEAUTIFUL

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

PhantomPokemon [2015-06-09 16:32:29 +0000 UTC]

This is the greatest masterpiece of all time!
It must be praised and worshipped!
All hail Doitsu and Reader-chan the potatoes!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

AquaAKAMultiOmggirl [2015-05-18 11:45:28 +0000 UTC]

Me:                   DOITSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!
My cat: wtf is she slapping herself.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

FadedJirachi [2015-03-18 07:31:59 +0000 UTC]

I cried after reading this.
gr8 b8 m8, 8/8
Pray for the potatoes.
I know I will.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

CunningChicken In reply to FadedJirachi [2015-06-15 08:18:19 +0000 UTC]

would you say pray for the pot8oes

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

FadedJirachi In reply to CunningChicken [2015-06-17 01:48:30 +0000 UTC]

Yes.
Yes I would.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

MaesaNakaPancake [2015-02-15 22:57:20 +0000 UTC]

This is such a beautiful story, it brought tears to my eyes. 
//sniffsniff

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ZombiedevilXD [2015-02-12 22:15:31 +0000 UTC]

Holy damn... that's art

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

razelittledemon [2015-01-23 04:35:46 +0000 UTC]

This story is weird but in a good way

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ThePokemonz [2015-01-12 12:27:35 +0000 UTC]

But 4l42 1 d13d3d

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ThunderGirl-X [2014-12-30 15:14:25 +0000 UTC]

I think I'm about to cry ;-;
This was so beautiful ;A;

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Angelwing1998 [2014-12-21 03:10:30 +0000 UTC]

...WHY DID DOITSU DIE. 
But seriously bro, I nearly died laughing because of this. I mean, the story could be tragic if this were actually a character, but this character is a...a...A POTATO. Not to mention a sexy potato~
Well, time to go erase my history three times before my parents see this and question my sexuality. 

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

ThePokemonz In reply to Angelwing1998 [2015-01-12 12:27:13 +0000 UTC]

1 f33l y0u. But 4l42 1m 0n my ph0n3

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Angelwing1998 In reply to ThePokemonz [2015-01-12 12:33:06 +0000 UTC]

*cries* The text talk...IT'S TRYING TO EAT ME. 
Well, I can understand being on your phone and all, but...THE TEXT TALK. 
WHY?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

ThePokemonz In reply to Angelwing1998 [2015-01-12 14:34:21 +0000 UTC]

Bu7 4l42 ..... n0w 1m 0n my c0mput3r

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Angelwing1998 In reply to ThePokemonz [2015-01-12 17:46:00 +0000 UTC]

Make is stooooppppp. *cries*

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

ThePokemonz In reply to Angelwing1998 [2015-01-14 14:43:34 +0000 UTC]

  ........... 1m so sorry   

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Angelwing1998 In reply to ThePokemonz [2015-01-14 17:46:23 +0000 UTC]

...
MAKE IT STAHP

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Blumenstadt [2014-11-14 12:06:44 +0000 UTC]

outofflowers. auntie-
i love you for this--

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

przyrzeczenie [2014-11-14 11:11:19 +0000 UTC]

i'm fucking crying

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ScarletBlood1301 [2014-10-16 05:57:32 +0000 UTC]

Oh......My..........gosh.... °w°

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

mlpfan1982 [2014-10-10 19:24:24 +0000 UTC]

Hilarious! 

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Buttonblackwraith [2014-09-27 21:12:08 +0000 UTC]

so much feels ;; I love u Doitsu. dont leave me ever again * strokes Doitsu clone * ur to special 2 die. 

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

IcefeatherxSparkfang [2014-09-06 06:42:37 +0000 UTC]

 Me Doitsuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!! D:

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

OtakuGamerZone [2014-08-27 13:59:28 +0000 UTC]

Nooooooo Doitsu!...I wanted to make potato stew with you (don't think dirty things ewe)

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

CherryTroll [2014-08-20 17:39:10 +0000 UTC]

The feels T.T

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Chilli-Cheese [2014-08-19 22:30:35 +0000 UTC]

This was beautiful XD

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

skyclawthewolf [2014-08-09 06:23:28 +0000 UTC]

I'm crying that was so sad.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0


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