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Description

What it is, Gem Rod? It’s me, Brelly, and welcome to my TedTalk that’s gonna blow your brains out, but not in a death way, in a, “wow Brelly I’m so impressed with you” type way.
What’s the most recognizable symbol out there? Mickey-freaking-mouse, fellas. How did they get to that status? Well, its a long ladder up of CORPORATE CONTROL! Which is EXACTLY what I attend to achieve in order to promote CTC so much it’s synonymous with “game show”. It’ll be the one thing people think of when they think of watching TV. You could go to some guy who lives in a forest under a rock and he’d say, “CTC? Yeah, I love that show.” Excited? Intrigued? Let me get to the plan, then, why dontcha?

STEP 1: DESIGNER CLOTHING BRAND
“Gucci gucci, louie louie, fendi fendi, prada, etcetera, etcetera.”
“What language are you talking in?”

All corporate empires have to start somewhere, and for me, its here. I have the most experience in the clothing world, and I already have a huge thing of fabric to work with in the way of my costume trunk. So with my wonderful sense of fashion, I’ve created a designer clothing line that’s all about CTC. Not only will it make the wearer sick as fuck, it’ll also make them a walking advertisement for CTC. People are gonna wanna be wearing these accessories just based on how drippy they are alone. Not convinced? Well, let me lead you to step 2…

STEP 2: EXPOSURE!!!
“Don’t worry about your respective images, the stunt is perfect for your competition-starved brains.”
“…Excuse me?”
“Just smile for the picture.”

The next best way to get people to care about CTC is to get someone people care about to say they care about it. I know people, I’ve got connections. I know Double Bass, who knows Lightswitch, who knows Gamey, who knows MePhone, who knows OJ, who knows Red Cream Soda, and who knows Grangriss in a Jar. I’m only two steps away from getting to those two. If they get a couple pics of them in CTC merch, with me, the poster boy for this season basically, and then suddenly CTC is anything anyone can talk about anymore. Hierarchical diffusion is a thing for a reason, folks! It’ll get people to wear the CTC clothing line I’ve already talking about, making more walking advertisements, alongside getting CTC the exposure you wanted!!!

STEP 3: EXPANDING MARKETS TO FOOD
“Doesn’t this happen in a Batman: The Animated Series episode?”
“NO ONE HAS TO KNOW!!!”

You really thought it was gonna stop there? Was Rome built in a day? Was Rome a two step plan? The answer is no, if you weren’t aware. Now that we have a pretty good following, and making good profit off of the CTC clothing brand, we have enough money to continue to build our empire. Whats the next best thing for an island to export, other than textiles? Food. Hawaii did it with sugar, the Caribbeans also did it with sugar, basically everyone did it with sugar but I’m original so fuck sugar. We’re doing FISH. Our special CTC brand fish that are only native to CTC island and can only get here. We’ll do a smear campaign on the beef and poultry industry with help from PETA and the vegans and the wackjob conspiracy theorists. Does beefbrain exist? No. Does it come from eating beef? Also no. Will that be publicized like crazy until people believe it and no longer eat beef and turn to a fish based diet? Absolutely. We’ll have a corner in the food industry, giving us more money to promote CTC and making people connected to CTC even while they eat lunch! They can’t escape it! It’s ever-present! Now that’s what advertising is all about.

STEP 4: TAKE OVER TOURISM
“Do you guys have any food other than… fish?”
“Are you fucking kidding? Get this guy out of here. Throw him out.”

The last stage. Space is the final frontier, isn’t it? Who’s gonna capitalize on its tourism industry first? Not me, actually, but similarly, I’m gonna be the first person to capitalize on CTC island tourism! We’ve got fashion, food, and now for the third F: family friendly fun. It’s how Disney did it! There’s ought to be a section of CTC island that isn’t being used— so lets turn that into an amusement park! People are already invested due to the already famous clothing and food, but now to get them EVEN MORE invested and EVEN MORE corporate shills to promote CTC to a bigger level than ever before. People’ll see how fun it is, and then’ll they’ll have to get into CTC to go, and then we indoctrinate a whole new wave of CTC sueprfans that were deaf to the trials of the first three steps. Of course, it'll also only serve CTC brand fish, which will cause people to spend MORE money on us, buying into CTC even MORE until they're living and breathing it. I've successfully created a self-sustaining CTC economy.

Look, like I’ve said the entire time: Disney goddamn did it, and look where they are now. Every suburban white mom has that Minnie Mouse v-neck t-shirt and a Disney princess pajama set for her daughter. You know those horrible tasting Mickey waffles. Everyone’s life is rated on if they’ve gone to Disneyland or not. Hell, they even own celebrities! Ever see Chris Pratt do a movie that didn’t have the two eared menace attached to it?

In short: People will worship CTC unto a God. It’ll have a bigger following than the goddamn Catholic church.

Description

What it is, Gem Rod? It’s me, Brelly, and welcome to my TedTalk that’s gonna blow your brains out, but not in a death way, in a, “wow Brelly I’m so impressed with you” type way.
What’s the most recognizable symbol out there? Mickey-freaking-mouse, fellas. How did they get to that status? Well, its a long ladder up of CORPORATE CONTROL! Which is EXACTLY what I attend to achieve in order to promote CTC so much it’s synonymous with “game show”. It’ll be the one thing people think of when they think of watching TV. You could go to some guy who lives in a forest under a rock and he’d say, “CTC? Yeah, I love that show.” Excited? Intrigued? Let me get to the plan, then, why dontcha?

STEP 1: DESIGNER CLOTHING BRAND
“Gucci gucci, louie louie, fendi fendi, prada, etcetera, etcetera.”
“What language are you talking in?”

All corporate empires have to start somewhere, and for me, its here. I have the most experience in the clothing world, and I already have a huge thing of fabric to work with in the way of my costume trunk. So with my wonderful sense of fashion, I’ve created a designer clothing line that’s all about CTC. Not only will it make the wearer sick as fuck, it’ll also make them a walking advertisement for CTC. People are gonna wanna be wearing these accessories just based on how drippy they are alone. Not convinced? Well, let me lead you to step 2…

STEP 2: EXPOSURE!!!
“Don’t worry about your respective images, the stunt is perfect for your competition-starved brains.”
“…Excuse me?”
“Just smile for the picture.”

The next best way to get people to care about CTC is to get someone people care about to say they care about it. I know people, I’ve got connections. I know Double Bass, who knows Lightswitch, who knows Gamey, who knows MePhone, who knows OJ, who knows Red Cream Soda, and who knows Grangriss in a Jar. I’m only two steps away from getting to those two. If they get a couple pics of them in CTC merch, with me, the poster boy for this season basically, and then suddenly CTC is anything anyone can talk about anymore. Hierarchical diffusion is a thing for a reason, folks! It’ll get people to wear the CTC clothing line I’ve already talking about, making more walking advertisements, alongside getting CTC the exposure you wanted!!!

STEP 3: EXPANDING MARKETS TO FOOD
“Doesn’t this happen in a Batman: The Animated Series episode?”
“NO ONE HAS TO KNOW!!!”

You really thought it was gonna stop there? Was Rome built in a day? Was Rome a two step plan? The answer is no, if you weren’t aware. Now that we have a pretty good following, and making good profit off of the CTC clothing brand, we have enough money to continue to build our empire. Whats the next best thing for an island to export, other than textiles? Food. Hawaii did it with sugar, the Caribbeans also did it with sugar, basically everyone did it with sugar but I’m original so fuck sugar. We’re doing FISH. Our special CTC brand fish that are only native to CTC island and can only get here. We’ll do a smear campaign on the beef and poultry industry with help from PETA and the vegans and the wackjob conspiracy theorists. Does beefbrain exist? No. Does it come from eating beef? Also no. Will that be publicized like crazy until people believe it and no longer eat beef and turn to a fish based diet? Absolutely. We’ll have a corner in the food industry, giving us more money to promote CTC and making people connected to CTC even while they eat lunch! They can’t escape it! It’s ever-present! Now that’s what advertising is all about.

STEP 4: TAKE OVER TOURISM
“Do you guys have any food other than… fish?”
“Are you fucking kidding? Get this guy out of here. Throw him out.”

The last stage. Space is the final frontier, isn’t it? Who’s gonna capitalize on its tourism industry first? Not me, actually, but similarly, I’m gonna be the first person to capitalize on CTC island tourism! We’ve got fashion, food, and now for the third F: family friendly fun. It’s how Disney did it! There’s ought to be a section of CTC island that isn’t being used— so lets turn that into an amusement park! People are already invested due to the already famous clothing and food, but now to get them EVEN MORE invested and EVEN MORE corporate shills to promote CTC to a bigger level than ever before. People’ll see how fun it is, and then’ll they’ll have to get into CTC to go, and then we indoctrinate a whole new wave of CTC sueprfans that were deaf to the trials of the first three steps. Of course, it'll also only serve CTC brand fish, which will cause people to spend MORE money on us, buying into CTC even MORE until they're living and breathing it. I've successfully created a self-sustaining CTC economy.

Look, like I’ve said the entire time: Disney goddamn did it, and look where they are now. Every suburban white mom has that Minnie Mouse v-neck t-shirt and a Disney princess pajama set for her daughter. You know those horrible tasting Mickey waffles. Everyone’s life is rated on if they’ve gone to Disneyland or not. Hell, they even own celebrities! Ever see Chris Pratt do a movie that didn’t have the two eared menace attached to it?

In short: People will worship CTC unto a God. It’ll have a bigger following than the goddamn Catholic church.