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MuseofMemory — Trapped in the darkness
Published: 2008-01-06 21:17:43 +0000 UTC; Views: 136; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 2
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Description
She wanders alone in the dark, looking for a light, waiting for someone to rescue her. She’s been wandering for so long, she just wants to give up, but something keeps her going. A tiny light burning in her chest: hope. She hopes that one day she’ll see someone coming towards her out of the dark, someone carrying a lantern that turns the darkness into light. She’s been trapped here for so long, with only her thoughts for company. Many others would have been driven mad, but she’s stubborn. She won’t let the darkness defeat her. She won’t let the people who took away the light triumph. She will survive. She will be happy, one day…Related content
Comments: 4
this was good, it captures a great, strong emotion. 
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I like this, of the three thumbs you submitted this is definitely the best
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If think this is more poetry than prose and should be formatted as such. There is no definite direction for this. It is just a blurb which should either be in your scraps or reformatted to poetry. I'm sorry if this offends, just giving my honest opinion.
I think this piece would be better if you expounded on the idea of this line: She’s been trapped here for so long, with only her thoughts for company. Many others would have been driven mad, but she’s stubborn. She won’t let the darkness defeat her.
Give the piece meat! Substantiate it and give details to fully engage the reader.
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Oh, I know these weekends all too well. They just lurk around the corner and when you happily wander by they jump all over you with their tiny pointy teeth and peck at your heart. The evil weekends…
I like things written from the heart, much more appealing than the too-elegant-to-understand emotional pieces… This piece is raw, genuine, and straight as it gets emotions. That’s good to let it all out on a piece of virtual paper…
As for the literature approach, it needs more direction/edge. But I don’t think that there’s any room to edit this much, because it’s really raw and that’s the intention I guess – this is what it is. So always write from your heart, that’s the best thing there is.
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