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#jeannedarc #joanofarc #lapis #lazuli #peridot #vice #stevenuniverse #sirpeccatori #lapislazuli
Published: 2019-07-13 00:05:59 +0000 UTC; Views: 3834; Favourites: 29; Downloads: 0
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Description
Imagine an alternate story, a story where Peridot became the soul survivor of a doomed universe. And she became soul survivor just after she failed to make amends with Lapis Lazuli. Now with the unlikely aid of an ancient entity named Sir Peccatori, as well as a fallen saint named Jeanne D’Arc, Peridot must find a way to get back that lost universe that was destroyed by an evil Gary-Stu, so that she can have a second chance to apologize to her former informant.Previous Chapters:
Chapter 1:
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Chapter 2
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Story
(Dream)
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At the farm, near the water tower next to the barn, Peridot believed she had found the perfect gift to impress Lapis Lazuli and win over her friendship. It was Peridot’s own tape recorder, for she believed that if it would make her feel good, then it could make Lazuli feel good too. Yet when Peridot looked at Lapis upon offering the gift, something didn’t seem right.
Lazuli bared a blank emotionless expression, her eyes were wide open with irises and shrunken pupils, staring down at Peridot as if piercing her soul. When Lapis had the recorder placed in her hand, and when Peridot suggested her to press the button and speak into it, saying “I don’t want your filth!” And while speaking into the recorder Lazuli crushed it! She crushed it very slowly, and the more the device was getting crushed, the more Peridot’s face degraded from optimistically anticipated with excitement, into that of shock and dismay. Lapis crushed that recorder so hard that it started to crumble into scrap, before Lazuli suddenly hurled the shrapnel right into Peridot’s face!
Shocked and startled by this aggressive act, Peridot unintentionally insults Lapis by asking if she was trapped in a tape recorder too. Peridot then tried in vain to explain to Lazuli that the both of them are the same, lost and confused refugees on a planet they have yet been adjusted to, and then she tried to persuade Lapis that she doesn’t have to be alone. Finally, Peridot asks what Lazuli wants from her, anything that Peridot could offer her. Lazuli simply stood still for a while, her stare slowly changing to a hostile glare.
“...What I want from you?...” Lapis finally spoke. The tone was grim and foreboding, and it made Peridot feel uncomfortable! Then, Lazuli slowly begins to walk towards Peridot, saying “...What I want from you, is not something you can give to me, by your free will...” Peridot felt a cold chill upon hearing that as she slowly backs away “What did you mean by that?... Lazuli?” Yet Lazuli advanced even closer towards Peridot, saying “What I want, is what will seal your fate!” Peridot begin to feel dread upon hearing that!
Suddenly, Lapis snatches Peridot before summoning an enormous pyramid, constructed with the live and helpless screaming bodies and souls of all sentient life in the universe, including humans and gems, even all four of the Diamonds! Completely in shock, Peridot squirmed and squealed upon such sudden horrific chaos as she is dragged by Lazuli up the steps. And the further up they went, the more Lapis transformed into a Terminator like entity, devoid of empathy! At the top of the pyramid was an alter, a sacrificial alter, and Peridot was slammed and pinned to the flat surface, stained in orange fluids with orange gem shards! And as Peridot looked up, she saw faint traces of silk like extensions emitting from Lazuli as she summons from her hand a piston powered spiked gauntlet. And those string like extensions ended on what appeared to be marionette controls. And string-pulling this possessed Lapis Lazuli, Peridot saw in trauma, a huge, hideous, unnaturally realistic looking grey man with soul-piercing eyes, a crooked nose and ears, and monstrously jagged teeth! And right before the mentally enslaved Lapis Lazuli furiously rams the spiked gauntlet into Peridot’s gem, from out of his trap, the big grey man said but one word, to answer what he thinks Lapis Lazuli wanted the whole time... “RETRIBUTION!”
********************************************
“...Peridot, wake up!”
Peridot screamed and flailed her hands to protect herself in horror as she got up from her sleep! Yet when she carefully put down her guard to see what is going on, it was just Peccatori telling her to wake up, before asking her “It was your memories of the past again, wasn’t it?”
Peridot, still shaken by the nightmare, said “How could I have been so stupid and ignorant about how she really felt about me? Before any of this happened? I’m supposed to be designed to have an IQ far surpassing the standard intellect!?”
Peccatori: “I would not say you were stupid at all, since you felt it was necessary to block out your discomforting memories of serving a regime, but you certainly were ignorant for ignoring how Lazuli felt about you back then.”
Peccatori then gave Peridot the jar that contained Lapis Lazuli’s dust. Peridot stares at it for a while, and then said to Peccatori “When Jeanne D’Arc forced me to torture you while showing that video I recorded from the Homeworld archives, it was as if my current mindset now had traveled back in time to when I interrogated Lazuli.... How did she know all that about me, how did she even uncover that limb-enhancer of mine!?”
Peccatori: “Though denied Paradise, Jeanne D’Arc was still promoted to the Second Sphere, as Commander of the Powers and Authorities. This Angelic rank are some of the primary opposers of evil and the demonic legions. And this rank has specialized in the ability to stare into the souls of mortals to unravel their sins. I’m certain that Joan salvaged your finger screen from the abyss to expose you for such.”
“...If I never made amends with Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl and Steven, Jeanne would have guilt tripped me over my discriminations and my attempts to murder them back when I served Homeworld.” Peridot concluded, as she sat there for a while, absorbing it all in, on the magnitude of her new task.
“Whatever the case, your trial through the first Three Terraces shall begin as soon as you are prepared.” said Peccatori as he lended Peridot his hand as Peridot returned him the Lapis Jar.
• • • • • • • • •
It was as if it were for an eternity, Peridot struggled against the gigantic stones of the Joan hurls at her in the Third Terrace. And at the same time, Joan tackled Peridot through armed combat. Upon clashing blades, Joan would constantly berate and harass, screeching out “You believe you’ll ever be forgiven for your arrogance and ignorance over your torture upon Lapis Lazuli!” With Peridot answering “I won’t stop until I fix what I broke!” Only for Joan to answer “My lack of faith for you says otherwise!” Before kicking Peridot off the mountain over and over and over again!
Yet as she lands into the anti-purgatory, Peridot would use that time down there to train in the martial arts (Western and Eastern) with Peccatori, especially in armed combat, and to develop on her Ferrokinesis. Peridot even utilizes her power over metal with her skills as a mechanic to design not only new limb enhancers, enabling her to stand as tall as she was when serving Homeworld (which was taller than Pec and Joan), but a full functioning hyper-tech armored suit as well with more gadgets than ever before. And as a reward for her efforts, Peccatori used what was left of his powers to help unlock greater hidden potential within Peridot, as to better match her up against Jeanne.
And the more Peridot mastered all of this, the more pissed off Jeanne got when the two faced each other in the Three Terraces. Yet the more wrathful Joan of Arc got during their clashes, the more passive Peridot became, using her skill in combat to only deflect Joan’s savage assaults. And as Joan hurled the stone statues made of the same materials as Lapis Lazuli, Peridot used her Ferrokinesis on the pyrite of the rocks to safely move them out of harms way, even making sure not to break them. Peridot’s power over metal even started to work against Joan of Arc herself, who is armed with and covered in metal. Joan even took measures as drastically as summoning her most dangerous weapon, the Spear of Destiny, on Peridot!
Yet despite all opposition, Peridot was the one finally gaining the advantage against a rabid Jeanne D’Arc. Failing to understand Peridot’s willingness to be forgiven for her mistakes, the corrupt Angel Commander of the Powers and Authorities squawks “YOU WILL NEVER BE FORGIVEN BY ME!” Yet Peridot responded with “I never needed to apologize to you in the first place.”
Joan: “WHY!?”
Peridot: “It’s your fault you forced me to torture the one you hate the most!”
And with one more decisive maneuver of using her Ferrokinesis against Joan’s sword and spear, Peridot disarms her opponent and pins Joan down by her armor, ending the fight and enabling Peridot to at last pass the First Three Terraces! Yet Peridot looks back towards Joan, saying “Yet I forgive you... Because you remind me of Lapis Lazuli and how she suffered.” Joan was furious upon hearing that she, the warrior saint, is being compared to who she saw as a fragile blue twig, yet she bottles in that rage for the moment.
Peccatori soon arrives, with the levitating platform that was left of Earth, to greet Peridot. Yet before heading to the top of Mount Purgatori, Pec asks Joan “I’m sorry for what my primal ancestor did to you in the past. He was manipulated against his will to harm you. If you forgive me, we can try and work together to help you earn your salvation.” Jeanne stays put for a while, hesitating. But then she thinks about it “...Manipulated... Fine, I forgive you, yet your manipulator, Vice, will never apologize, how will I ever forgive him?”
Peccatori: “You’ll just have to do so, despite the fact he is the Sentience of Satan.”
Through each terrace, there is a gate guarded by an angel. And once passing each terrace, each angel at each gate unlocks them for the successors to pass. Yet one angel was not like the others. For this angel secretly slipped his hand across Peccatori’s belt upon passing by. With a subtle yet unnerving grin, the suspicious angel slips away through a portal, as Peridot asks Pec and Joan “...Who is Vice?...”
Sir Peccatori: “Well, you know how gems were created to fill a purpose, such as Lapis Lazulis were created to terraform and Peridots were created as technicians?”
Peridot: “Yes?”
Sir Peccatori: “Vice didn’t have a choice but to be a sick evil asshole for his purpose, when he was created...”
• • • • • • • • •
Again it felt like an eternity passing each of the higher terraces of Mount Purgatory, and the higher the three ascended, the narrower the mountain became, until they finally reached the Earthly Paradise...
...which turns out to be nothing more than a dead, deccaying wasteland, devoid of any flora and fauna!
Struck with shock, Joan dammands Peccatori “What the FUCK did you do to Garden of Eden!? It looks like Limbo has moved its foundations from the First Circle of Hell!”
Pecatori raised his hands up as if he was being arrested, saying “Not me, we simply just arrived here with you!”
Peridot, on the other hand, felt something eery about the center of this flat barren plane. She rushed off after her intuitions as Pec and Joan take notice and quickly follow her.
Upon arrival, Peridot is shocked to see who appears to be Lapis Lazuli. Anxious to rush over to Lazuli as fast as she could to reunite with her, Peridot tries to run even faster, yet Jeanne quickly catches up and yanks Peridot back by her hair. “Hold it, Green Pigeon Shit!... Something’s wrong with the blue bitch!”
Peridot: “You dare call Lazuli a Blue-“
Peridot stopped yelling back at Joan as the figure turns her head to see the three. Joan was right, and to Peridot’s dread, the face of this figure resembled exactly that of Lazuli’s when Peridot last saw her back in her universe! Complete with the bright glowing neon cyan irises and shrunken pupils, back when the Gary-Stu had her under his power! Yet Peridot did not want to be left silent as she tried to ask the individual “...Lapis Lazuli? Is that really you?”
Lazuli only stared blankly at Peridot. She then help up the shards of a red orange gem, she then opened her mouth wide and proceeded to lick the shards like a psychopath! Peridot backed away in disgust as emerging from Lazuli’s gem behind her back, was a shadowy silhouette... the red shadowy silhouette of a bladed demon, over twice as tall as Peccatori. He had long bladed wings, a tail with a bladed tip, and three long bladed claws on each of his hands. And from his bladed V shaped head, fiery eyes lit up and a V shaped grin opened up, revealing carnivorous teeth!
Upon asking Pec of him while hiking up the mountain, Peridot knew exactly who she is dealing with, as all three wanderers say “Vice!”
Vice held in the palm of each hand, a marionette controller, with ghostly strings connected to Lapis’s limbs, so as he turns around, Lazuli does the same in unison.
“Father, what the Hell have you done to Lapis Lazuli!?” Snarled Sir Peccatori angrily after finding out the jar he once had around his belt is missing, as Jeanne D’Arc followed shouting out “Is Peccatori no longer good enough for you, skinned beast rug of Saint Michael!?”
“Nothing much really Peccatori, yet you are correct Jeanne, as you can see, I have a new bearer of Satan’s raw physical power!” Vice hissed nonchalantly with his black tri-forked tongue!
“Leave Lazuli alone! She’s suffered enough, the last thing she needs is to be tormented by YOU!” Peridot shouted at Vice, knowing exactly what his intentions are upon Lazuli!
“...Tormented!?...” Lapis Lazuli finally spoke in an outraged tone, and she bared that grudge of on Peridot!
“I’m actually granting Lazuli’s desires of bringing forth divine judgement upon her tormentors, and you arrived just in time, as she had just settled her score with Jasper!” Vice gleefully cackled “And speaking of which, Peridot...” Vice took the shards from Lazuli’s hand, reforged the shards together, and then placed them in a sterling silver pendant to offer back to Lazuli as a necklace. Vice then held by the tip of his tail, a mirror, just like the one Lazuli was trapped in, except the gap to place the gem on was shaped just like Peridot’s! “If you really want to impress your would-have-been acquaintance with any kind of gift, I suggest you place your gem right here.”
Peridot: “How is giving Lazuli a reminder of her suffering in any way a great gift!?”
“Says the blithering imbecile who did so three times. Trust me, Lazuli would be most eager to complete this new mirror, once I elaborate to her further on all the atrocities you have inflicted, following your failure to make “amends” with her...” Vice concluded as Lapis was confused, asking Vice “What more did she do?”
Peridot: “Lazuli! All I wanted to do was makes friends with you-“
As a means to shut Peridot up, and with horrific speed, Vice shot a hole through Joan of Arc’s vocal chords with his tail, that had venomous barbs secretly concealed within each side of the bladed tip, rendering her unable to speak against him! He then wrapped his tail around Peccatori’s neck, squeezing his throat to disable him from speaking out as well, as Pec thrashed violently and bit down on Vice’s tail in retaliation. With both of Peridot’s angel and devil rendered away from her, she backed away in silence as Vice opened a projection for Lapis to witness.
Yet in this projection, Lapis and Peridot saw what at first appeared to be flashbacks of when Peridot tortured Lazuli for information in the Gem Warship. It then cut to moments of Peridot’s attempts and failures to be accepted by Lazuli. Yet, what followed was not what Peridot remembered. In the projection, following Lazuli crushing the tape recorder, she told Peridot to leave, and Peridot internally flipped out. Secretly, this Peridot pulls off a malicious grin and dives into the pool she once made for Lazuli. Swimming to the bottom, she digs through the ground to the cave where the Cluster was dormant in a bubble. And with a huge sharp nail, Peridot popped that bubble, releasing the Cluster, which led to Earth’s destruction.
Peridot: “That’s impossible, I became a Crystal Gem by stopping the Cluster!”
Peridot and Lazuli were in dismay upon seeing this, as Vice becomes dramatically depressed, making tragic faces and shedding tears, as he reveals to Lazuli a pink gem (though holding it in the position used when Pink Diamond took the form of Rose Quartz). “This...sniff-sniff...is all that is left that I could salvage of Steven, after the mass genocide that little green pigeon shit committed...sniff-sniff...all in the name of Homeworld...sniff-sniff...Oh the tragedy of it all!” Yet upon his sobbing, in a mere split second, Vice changed his expression back to his general malicious self at Peridot, before pulling the sad look again, signaling to her that he is but shedding crocodile tears!
Yet Lapis did not take notice of Vice’s staged act, for she was glaring into the pink gem, trembling in trauma over the misinformation of Vice’s silver tongue, over Peridot being a mass murderer! And then she turned to Peridot, her heart filled with a deep burning rage and hatred upon the green gem!
Vice then pulled out a letter, the very letter Peridot wrote in an attempt to apologize to Lapis for interrogating her, and then Vice proceeds to “read” what was written.
Vice: (cough-cough-ahem)
“Dear Lapis Lazuli,
Sorry I interrogated you in an regime torture chamber! I’m also sorry for destroying the planet you were about to get accustomed to! And...”
Peridot: “...Wait... I didn’t write that!”
Vice raises his hand, and from the bottom of Mount Prugatory, the giant blocks of stones, made of Pyrite, Calcite and Lazurite, rise up to the barren Earthly Paradise behind Peridot, and as she turned to look, she saw each of them carved to look like the green gem herself, in ridiculous poses of bravado. Peridot turned back to Vice to discover he was slipping behind his back a hammer and chisel, as he continues to read.
Vice:
“I am also sorry for hopping across universe through universe, harvesting your species, shattering them into shards, and then using my newly found Ferrokinesis to construct monuments, of myself out of your carcasses!...”
Peridot: “I didn’t do that! Those are just raw inanimate materials extracted from Mount Purgatory by Jeanne! They are not from this multiverse-“
Lazuli took a look around her, spotting entire clusters of universes orbiting around the fifth of a multiverse sized Mount Purgatory. And then she looked at the lapis lazuli carved statues of Peridot in horror and nausea, making Lapis even more furious, as Vice concludes reading.
Vice:
“It was just so much fun ripping the useless information out of your mind through aggressive force, ripping away everything you loved in servitude to Homeworld, and then converting the suffering of your entire species into my arrogance and bravado! That is a sincere compliment...
Love Peridot!”
Vice then handed Lazuli the letter, and in that letter, what Peridot originally wrote was covered in whiteout and covered over in Vice’s handwriting. At this state, Lapis was so blinded with tears and rage that she did not bother to carefully check the alterations Vice made. Lazuli had now turned all her hatred towards Peridot, who the latter was quivering in horror.
Peridot: “LAZULI! You have to listen to me! Vice is a deceiver, he’s lying to you and playing you like a puppet!”
Vice arched his head down to Lapis, asking her “Let me ask of you something, Lapis Lazuli...Who do you trust more?... Some vicious, sadistic, little green pigeon shit of a bitch, who took pleasure out of your suffering, claiming she was just following orders as an excuse, has two Jasper-like bastards on her side, and is failing miserably to sweep her atrocities under the rug so that she’ll make you her slave?... Or do you better trust me, the one granting you the power to exact Retribution on that vicious, sadistic, little green pigeon shit of a bitch!?”
Desperate to stop the onslaught that is yet to come, Peridot pleads to Lapis “Lazuli please, I’m sorry for everything I did to you! I don’t want to harm you! I beg for your forgiveness!”
With the flick of the tip of his tail, Vice turns the mirror he has been holding to the side of the looking glass, as if to show Peridot the look on her terrified face, while Lapis Lazuli bares her burning passion for revenge! Peridot was backing away in dread as Lapis rips apart the letter, with the drawing of her and Peridot holding hands that Steven once drew, until it was but shreds! “So, anything you’d like to say to Peridot over how much of a failure she is?” Vice hissed behind Lazuli.
As Joan was paralyzed, as Peccatori was being strangled, and as Vice cackled like a psychopath while pulling the strings, Lapis Lazuli responds to Peridot “You tortured me!... You took everything from me!... You violated my entire species for the sake of humiliating me!... I WILL SENTENCE YOU TO ETERNAL DAMNATION!”
Final Chapter:
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Steven Universe belongs to Rebecca Sugar
Sir Peccatori, Vice and In-Universe Joan of Arc Belongs to
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Comments: 13
Cambion-Hunter [2019-07-14 01:31:16 +0000 UTC]
He is taking the Master Of Puppets thing literally.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Devcon101 [2019-07-13 23:41:50 +0000 UTC]
I will say, this was an enjoyable read. I love the Dante elements that ooze from the story, from Mount Purgatory to Paradise. Peridot's trials along the mountain and gradual progression was my favorite passage, a well-written montage that was satisfying to read, especially after what had occurred in the last section of the tale.
There were, however, a few issues I had with the story, if I may convey them here:
For one, Jeanne's "redemption" was rather...rushed, if it was even deserved. Jeanne in this story is, or was, portrayed as a wrathful, evil entity, an angel consumed by spite who took glee in tormenting Peridot and then proceeding to force her to torture Peccatori. This sort of all-consuming anger and sadism goes beyond vengeance, beyond even Peridot's sin, falling in line with the actions of the damned. But Peccatori only needs to give one simple request for forgiveness for Jeanne to call down and set aside years of loathing. Worse yet, she's allowed into Paradise after all of that, without needing to go through Mount Purgatory herself to atone for the crime of torturing the two mercilessly, and the likely many more instances of being overtaken by wrath she has gone through if such acts bring her glee. It would have been more satisfying to see her once more turned away for her sins, though I can see why it may be necessary to include her, if its important for later chapters.
Secondly, Lapis Lazuli being in the story at all contradicts the abilities of Admiral Narcissist Judgement. Though I haven't commented much, admittedly, I have been reading all the installments that include him. According to those, following the destruction of the world the Gary-Stu is targetting, his chosen one (in this case, Lapis Lazuli) is supposed to be drawn into his own body, trapped within him as a "firewall" of sorts. While I may have the wrong impression, would that not prevent Lapis from appearing in Paradise, as she is supposed to be alive yet trapped in ANJ's form?
Lastly, the encounter with Lapis and Vice is flawed. Though I enjoy reading Vice, the way Lapis was written in a way that makes it hard to determine whether she's actively controlled by Vice or just being manipulated. When first seen, she actively licks the shards of Jasper's gem in a psychotic display, with her eyes displaying unnatural qualities and literal puppet strings attached to her, in addition to not showing any reaction when Vice stabs Jeanne and ensnares Peccatori. Yet in the following passages, Lapis reacts with sadness and anger as Vice takes the time to actively twist her against Peridot. The only conclusion I can come to is that Vice let slip his control over Lapis to turn her against Peridot naturally, which seems unnecessarily complex when he could torment her just as well by tormenting her using Lapis as a flesh-puppet.
Additionally, if Lapis is in her right mind during the manipulation scene, she seems oddly gullible. While Lapis was mad at Peridot, she should be able to see the ridiculousness in Peridot gaining an evil grin when she goes to pop the cluster, and the absurdity in her world-hopping for the sake of slaughtering her entire kind to make monuments. While I can excuse the latter as Lapis being too blinded by anger to think clearly, though its a rather big stretch, the former shouldn't have flown by her radar. If Peridot had seemed overly upset, rather than maliciously gleeful, then perhaps my suspension of disbelief may not have broken, yet Vice makes it all-too-clear that what he's showing is a farce. If Vice had stayed down to earth and twisted Peridot's natural tendencies into something despicable for Lapis to hate instead of going all out, it could've been believable, but as is it makes Lapis seem rather gullible.
Now, that was just my two cents. If you disagree, all the power to you; it's your story after all, not mine. And I understand some inconsistencies may be on purpose, as that angel messing with Pecc's belt does lead me to believe there's something more to this encounter.
Overall, even if I did elaborate on my issues more-so than I likely wanted to, I did enjoy the story, especially Peridot's ascension. Keep up the good work, and thanks for providing this entertainment.
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
Mustache-Twirler In reply to Devcon101 [2019-07-14 06:50:30 +0000 UTC]
Thank you very much! I am very glad you enjoyed such elements mixed with Peridot’s trials through this invasive land in her multiverse. Especially since Peridot is a technician she would have to resort to such measures upon discovery of her Ferrokinesis.
Yet I am also glad you have addressed your critiques on this story. My biggest problem with this chapter is that I had to split the Corrupt Lazuli saga into two parts, the first half in Chapter three and the second half explaining what had happened in the upcoming chapter four. If I wrote the entire conflict with Peridot and Lapis here, it would have been too long to read. My explanations to your critiques however are spoilers, so I hope you don’t mind. If not, it’s best to read this after I finish chapter 4 or 5.
Joan of Arc flat out lied to Peccatori about forgiving him. And the only reason she was able to pass through the Terraces of Mount Purgatory is because the entire conflict this alternate realm of Joan has had with Pec, Pec’s manipulation under Vice, and the whole war between this version of Paradise and Inferno, are not of the true Judaeo Christian stories. The Gary-Stu created the quote-one-quote “Omniverse” Peccatori and this version of Joan of Arc originate from. ANJ based his world from elements off of the Bible. Yet he places himself in it as the supreme being who does whatever the Hell he wants. So Joan is only passing through each gate of each terrace, because the Gary-Stu allows her too, with Joan blindly believing it was the Judaeo Christian lord forgiving her. Joan also stubbornly believes that the lord she believes in and the Gary-Stu are separate beings. And the top of Mount Purgatory, the Earthly Paradise or Garden of Eden, is actually only the gateway between her mountain and the pure celestial paradise Joan is so blindly eager to enter... and she will yet again be rejected due to still hating on Peccatori, and this will also be one of her reasons for failing to slay Vice so easily later on. The other reason is that due to Vice’s immunity to holy powers unless force fed conventional damned powers that disrupt it, Joan will have difficulties working together with this version of Pec, who has that conventional demonic power to disrupt Vice’s immunity. Basically Joan of Arc is like Vegeta, she takes a very long time for her to be redeemed... if at all.
The Gary-Stu used what was left of Lapis Lazuli as disposable firewall armor, which means he trashed that armored suit after he got bored wearing it. Peccatori was only able to salvage the dust of Lazuli because the Gary-Stu had plans to humiliate Peridot even further. The only reason Vice was able to revive Lapis Lazuli is because he got permission from the Gary-Stu to do so, but with a catch. Vice had to drain all of the life energy of the Earthly Paradise to revive Lapis, hence why it looks like a desolate wasteland, and he has to partially merge himself with Lapis’ gem in order to keep her alive. He is what is holding Lazuli’s gem together, through his will granted permission by ANJ. If Vice is not satisfied with his ambitions over Lapis, all he has to do is depart from her gem, and Lazuli will be reduced back into dust. And ANJ allows this despite the fact that Vice is the very type of pure evil villain the Gary-Stu claims to be exterminating, as ANJ toys with those like Vice and Provisor, depending on what mood he is in. This all leads to further criticism against The Gary-Stu over his heroism in the future, which due to it being his weakness, will lead to his inevitable downfall in his invasion upon the SU Multiverse.
In this story, Lapis Lazuli is spiritually broken, brainwashed and near hopelessly lost, for she was resurrected by Vice with the scars of what ANJ did to her to convert her into a Chosen One. No matter how badly Lapis suffered in the mirror, or under interrogation in the Gem Warship, or at the bottom of the ocean with a hated enemy, all three of them were nothing compared to what the Gary-Stu did to her in a short period of time, to render her will asunder and force her into the role of the Chosen One. Upon resurrection over such control over her previously, results with Lapis in a near zombified state, only having memories of her past life and the pain she suffered under the Gary-Stu. Yet her memories of seeing the Gary-Stu himself abducting her, or any recollection of harming Peridot as a Chosen One or whatever happened to Steven, had been erased. This also makes Lazuli dependent on a guide to elaborate on what had happened to her. All Vice has to do, is feed her with lies, like telling her that Jasper was the one who inflicted the pain the Gary-Stu brought upon her, and Lazuli would believe it and carry out her wrath on a temporarily revived Jasper. Having been satisfied with her revenge on Jasper, she couldn’t care less about Sir Peccatori and Joan of Arc being harmed by Vice, as they remind her of Jasper, wether it’s Pec’s physical bulk or Joan’s mental aggression... That is until she eventually finds out what their ancestors did. However, Lazuli is not absolutely lost, thanks to Peridot’s existence. As Peridot fights for her existence against Lapis, Lazuli becomes more and more frustrated as to why Peridot has grown so soft and caring compared to Peridot’s more Machiavellian side back when she was once a Homeworld Gem. The more she sees how compassionate and caring this Peridot is, such as protecting Peccatori when he tries to protect her, Lapis starts to regain her senses and starts to question Vice’s lies. This eventually leads to Lapis’ distrust over what Vice fed her with as she decides to partially fuze herself with Peridot, to enter Peridot’s mind in order to see the memories of truth. Upon her revelation after defusing with Peridot, Lazuli shifts her rage on Vice for deceiving her. And that is where the marionette strings come into play, as Vice converts them into cuffs and chains, to pin down Lapis and force her under his control. Yet as Lazuli resists, she begins to try and forgive Peridot, and just as she is about to forgive, Vice loses interest in manipulating her, for she had fully freed herself mentally from his grip. The only spoiler that I’m not going to reveal is how Peridot reacts when Lazuli is gone, as Vice has two goals, either torture Peridot with Lapis for eternity or force Peridot to fall into despair and undo everything she tried to overcome in Purgatory by taking Lazuli away from her.
So I do agree with your criticisms here and I don’t blame you for the confusion with what I wrote so far, I just didn’t want this chapter to drag for too long, which is also why I placed Peridot’s memories of the Gary-Stu in a sta.sh file, as this is what Lapis discovers upon reading Peridot’s mind through semi-fusion. And the angel that stole the jar from Pec’s belt was Vice in disguise and he teleported his way to the peak.
Thank you very much for the critique as I plan on explaining them in the next chapters.
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Devcon101 In reply to Mustache-Twirler [2019-07-20 05:36:07 +0000 UTC]
Thank you for the clarifications. I will admit, at the time of writing the critique I had somehow forgotten about the Jar of Lapis' dust, and perhaps if I had remembered I would have been able to draw conclusions on many of the questions I posed.
I should have expected Joanne's sudden redemption to be a lie in all honesty. Between that and my inability to recall the plot point of the Jar, I likely should have put in more thought before I wrote the critique, and maybe read it once or twice more.
Lapis being in a broken, brainwashed state does make her gullibility seem more believable, and while I still see Vice's actions as being a tad over the top, I can now understand them with the context that he is likely doing it as a form of gloating; after all, if she's so broken as to believe nearly everything he says, why not have a little fun with it?
What really intrigues me about these clarifications is the power displayed by ANJ. From what I read of ANJ, I always saw him as an omniversal menace; while his powers made him capable of destroying entire universes, multiverses even, he was still beneath entities such as Provisor and potentially Vice, who were omniversal powers. Yet what was said here implies that ANJ is more than that, a being more powerful than the forces of creation and destruction, capable of manifesting an entire "omniverse" to serve as his personal playground in which to pursue his "destiny." Perhaps I'm reading too much into it, but ANJ seems to be a far greater power than I had initially perceived.
Again, thank you for clarifying what happened - the context definitely made things more sensible. I look forward to the next chapters!
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Mustache-Twirler In reply to Devcon101 [2019-07-20 07:19:18 +0000 UTC]
You’re most welcome! And no problem, I used the concept of the jar because Peridot did not learn how to bubble gems during Barn Mates.
In reality, Joan intends to make yet another failed attempt to ascend into the celestial paradise. And as a backup plan, she also intends to exact revenge on Vice, and exact revenge on Lapis Lazuli due to Peridot comparing her to Lazuli. But much like Vegeta, Joan will have end in a humiliating defeat.
With Lazuli’s mind scattered apart and lost, Vice can simply feed her lies and mock Peridot as a means to piss her off. Yet as the fight progresses, Lazuli will eventually learn the truth.
I originally intended to have ANJ to be relatively weak in comparison to Vice and Provisor. But when I made him into a Gary-Stu, I said Fuck it, I’ll just make him beyond Outerverse Level, as Gary Stus and Mary-Sues are bullshit.
I’m glad this helped, as I tend to have a habit of changing things every few times.
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Devcon101 In reply to Devcon101 [2019-07-13 23:44:39 +0000 UTC]
Oh, I almost forgot to comment on the art! The accompanying piece was well-drawn, with great emotion expressed through the visuals. I especially like how you stretched out Vice, making him seem more unnatural and serpentine, befitting his role in the story. I will say that Vice's hands look a little off, though it may just be their natural bulk and the claws. Overall, great piece, as per the usual!
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Mustache-Twirler In reply to Devcon101 [2019-07-14 07:05:42 +0000 UTC]
Thank you very much for the post as well, yet I also have to agree I had issues drawing Vice’s hands holding the marionette handles as it was tricky to pull off, and I tend to have the habit of favoring deadline over detail.
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Mustache-Twirler In reply to Silvolf [2019-07-13 20:40:27 +0000 UTC]
Thank you, it’s very important to convey how each one feels, wether it is outrage from Lazuli, horror from Peridot, Sadism from Vice, or retaliation from Pec.
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Silvolf In reply to Mustache-Twirler [2019-07-13 22:29:20 +0000 UTC]
I agree, your characters emotions always show nicely in your work.
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Mustache-Twirler In reply to SwordSparks [2019-07-13 11:53:54 +0000 UTC]
With a malignant bastard pulling the strings.
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