HOME | DD

Description
Previously

*RVB Opening Theme*

Grif: Ugh...
Simmons: Grif. Grif? GRIF!
Grif: Wha- Mom?
Simmons: Nope it's your old pal, Simmons.
Grif: Oh man, I had the weirdest dream. There was this blonde chick who emerged from this crashed ship. She was hot as hell, you could've seen her! But then all the sudden she started sabotaging everything just to cover her tracks because she claimed that Command kidnapped her because they chose her to be a new host for O'Malley.
Yang: Who's O'Malley?

That was no dream!

Grif: O-oh fuck... me.

He faints again.

Ruby: Not again! That's the third time he fainted. Next one might end up a coma.
Sarge: Dagnabbit. Lopez, get a bucket of hydrofluoric acid. Water won't work this time.
Lopez: Sí señor.
Ruby: Wait won't that kill him?
Donut: Nah I think he'll be alright. Probably with just a few bald spots.
Ruby: Okay... By the way, Yang, what is Omega?
Yang: Hey don't ask me, I only heard it from the guards. But from the way your team reacted, it looks like they know what it is.
Ruby: Do you?
Sarge: Of course we know him. He's our greatest nemesis. A crazed computer program that tried to kill all of us with his rockets and his laughs. Ah, those were the good old day.
Simmons: No it wasn't! He made me call, Sarge a cocksucker!

WHACK!

Simmons: OW!
Sarge: Still haven't forgive you for that.
Donut: He tried to kill us with a robot army.
Lopez: Incluso me secuestró y me convirtió en su asistente personal del mal.

Ruby and Yang:... Huuuuuh?
Simmons: Christ, let me tell you in detail. Long story short, he's an angry unstable megalomaniac AI used by a mercenary the Blues hired years ago. He went loose and started trying to kill every last one of us while possessing the body of conscientious objector with a rocket launcher. He was destroyed when he went into a Pelican with a bomb rigged inside it. Do you get the jist?
Ruby:...
Yang:...
Ruby: I got lost when you said 'conscientious objector with a rocket launcher'.
Simmons: Ugh... you know, forget what I said!
Donut: C'mon, Simmons. You'll have to try harder. Give a story a little... 'pizzazz'.
Ruby: I don't know what they're talking about, but I really wanna be in their world for five minutes.
Yang: Totally. It must've been very fun here before you came.
Simmons: Sigh, I don't understand. How did Command get their hands on him? Didn't the Pelican blew up with him and Tex inside?
Sarge: Of course it did. I made sure he stayed dead by adding more payload inside the ship, strong enough to obliterate everything in a fifteen mile radius into space dusts. That explosion was a huge sight to behold!
Lopez: Realmente no era tan grande.
Simmons: And did you remove the ship's radio before that?

Both stared at each other for a moment.

Sarge:... Ah fiddlesticks.
Simmons: HOW COULD YOU FORGET ABOUT THE RADIO?!
Caboose: Hello!
Weiss: Quiet!

Someone's calling from outside.

Yang: Who's that?
Simmons: The Blues.
Sarge: Captain Ahab's Barnacles, they must be here to salvage the ship for themselves. Damn vultures! Donut, Rose, go handle them.
Donut: Wha- what about you guys?
Sarge: One: Me and Lopez are trying to wake Grif up with EXTRA pain. And Two: Simmons' is needed here to find where O'Malley is being held at. The black box might contain information where did was being headed.
Simmons: I would love to do that, Sir. IF YANG DIDN'T DESTROY THE COMM'S ROOM!
Yang: I said I was sorry!
Ruby: Why not call, Vic? Maybe he can ask you.
Simmons: Oh please. He isn't that dumb enough to give us, O'Malley's exact location... unless... Sarge, permission to rip out the Warthog's radio. I have an idea.
Sarge: Now wait a minute, you can't just rip out a piece of the Warthog! That's a penalty of-
Simmons: I can do extra shifts.
Sarge: Deal!
Yang: Hey what about me? I can also fight those guys too. I really need to stretch this punching muscles of mine.
Sarge: Punching muscles, hmm? I see why not. Permission granted. Alright, Lopez. Ready to pour that acid on him.
Ruby: Yes! It's good to have you fight by my side.
Yang: Hey, you're not going to let me miss out the fun. So, Donut. How many out there?
Donut: Two.
Yang: Two?! I expected more than fifty.
Donut: Nah just two. There was suppose to be three more but I'm not sure why they didn't come along.
Ruby: Hmm... maybe it's a Blue tactic. The two waiting outside are acting as a distraction while the other three are prepared to ambush us.
Yang: That means we'll be surrounded. But that ain't a problem for me once I kick their asses.
Donut: You against five of them? Wow, you're a bigger badass than I thought.
Ruby: Trust me, she is. Back at basic, she destroyed an entire team all by herself without needing any help. It was awesome.
Yang: Thank you. So what do you know about those two?
Donut: Well there's Caboose on the tank and then there's Weiss.
Yang: A tank, huh? That'll be easy once I throw my homemade... who was the other person?

Outside

Weiss: This is the Blue team! Come out with your hands up or be destroyed. There's no point in fighting 'cause we have a tank that outguns your pathetic little Warthog. But if do you seek battle, that's fine by me. That is all.

She turns off the megaphone and turns to Caboose, sitting inside the tank.

Weiss: Alright, Michael. We're just here to talk about the ship, no need to go all guns blazing.
Caboose: If we're here to talk with the Red, why did we bring, Sheila here?
Weiss: Just for precaution. Plus, I intend to see a shell liquifying both Ruby's legs.
Caboose: Okay. Hi, Donut!

Donut appeared on the roof alone. Where is the rest of the Reds?, Weiss thought. Something's up and good thing she brought the tank.

Donut: Hi, guys! Hey where's everybody else?
Weiss: Busy scrubbing the floors with their toothbrushes. That's what happens when you don't report anything important to your leader. (whisper) Keep an eye out for, Ruby. We're here to talk about the ship. Do you know what happened to it and where it came from?
Donut: Didn't you guy's hear the crash yesterday?
Caboose: Weiss didn't hear it because she was singing in the bathroom when it happened.
Donut: Ooh can she sing Mordern Major General?
Weiss: No.
Donut: Sorry, guys. But there's nothing left to trade with you except ash and stuff. And it wasn't carrying anything too.
Weiss: We're not here to trade. We got enough SMGs in the armory. How can you be sure it wasn't carrying anything?
Donut: Yang told us.
Weiss: I-I-I'm sorry, can you repeat what you said?
Donut: I said...
Yang: (offscreen) Shh! Not now.
Donut: I should go back inside. We're quite busy today. Grif fainted not too long ago. Sarge and Lopez are trying to wake him up. Simmons' working on a pet project on communication and I was sewing silk for the winter.
Weiss: Silk?! You don't use silk for the winter, you idiot! And winter isn't coming in another six months.
Donut: I mean- Sangheili silk. It's a very nice alternative to wool... kinda
Weiss: Really? And tel me, what is Rose doing?
Donut: Making runs around the base.
Weiss: Oh you mean... HER?

Weiss sticks out her foot slightly up in the air. Then a flash of red accident trips on the leg and crashes on the tank, head first. Ouch, that did not go as plan.

Ruby: Ow...!
Weiss: Ah, poor old, Rose. Always forget that I've read every move she makes back at Beacon. Alright, Donut, enough games...

HISSSSS

The sound of hissing caught her attention. It came from next to her and... oh no. A plasma grenade is stuck onto the turret!

Caboose: Why do hear a snake hissing?
Weiss: MICHAEL, GET OUT OFF THERE!

Caboose quicky jumps out from the tank. They both ran away until the grenade explodes, blowing the tank into pieces. Bye bye, Sheila (or her body), you will not be missed.

BOOOM!

Caboose: SHEILA, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

At Blue Base.

Church and Tucker could see the mushroom cloud erupted on the field. Must be one hell of a fight out there.

Tucker: Man I'm glad we're here cleaning up the base. Hey, Church can I burrow your toothbrush?
Church: No.

Back at Red Base.

Weiss: KUFF KUFF... Michael, are you alright?
Caboose: Yes, I'm fine. But Sheila... sniff... is dead.
Weiss: What the hell was that? There's no way a plasma grenade can create an explosion that big!
Yang: Unless it was made by me, YOU WHITE HAIRED BITCH!

That voice, that tone. No it couldn't be. She turned to the direction of the voice and sees a Red soldier carrying the same weapon that almost split her head into a bloody mess. And the only one carrying it is...

Weiss: Oh no...

Yang Xiao Long.

Yang: Hello, Weiss. Long time no see.
Caboose: Weiss, is that the angry friend you talked about?
Weiss: Yes. Yes she is... RUUUUN!

Weiss grabs Caboose's hand and run away from Yang. However they were stopped when three more plasma grenades land in front of them and exploded, creating two large craters roughly about 12 meters in diameter, six meters in depth.

Weiss: Oh crap! This is Weiss Schnee to Blue base, we require reinforcements, NOW!
Yang: NO ONE'S COMING TO SAVE YOUR FIRST CLASS ASS, SCHNEE! Just you, me and these two babies, Mr. and Mrs Fisty.

Yang cracks her knuckles as she approaches towards them, with raging red eyes focused on the one and only teammate who ran away.

Weiss: AAAAAH! MICHAEL, KEEP THAT PSYCHOPATH AWAY FROM ME!

Weiss quickly hides behind Caboose, cowering herself away from that golden monster that tried to kill her. Yang stopped as her path is block by Caboose who stood calmly between her and Weiss.

Caboose: Hello... big scary lady... with big boobs. My name is, Caboose. You must be,... Yang.
Yang:...
Caboose:...
Yang:... Uhm...hi? Do I know you?
Caboose: Yeah, Weiss told me that t you are the angry friend. She also told me that you and Ruby are sisters and were part of a team in the letters R, W, B and Y.
Ruby: Actually it's pronounced... ow my nose!... 'Ruby', with a 'W'.
Caboose: Oooh! Wait if it's pronounce Ruby, shouldn't 'W' be a 'U'?
Yang: (whisper) Who is this guy?
Ruby: That's Caboose. Dumbest member in the Blue team here.
Yang: A mentally retarded guy serving in the Blue army, huh? I'll deal with you later.

Yang glares at Weiss.

Yang: So, Weiss. This is where you've been. Stationed in a desolate box canyon with nothing but sand and rocks. I thought you'd be in the Atlesian army by now.
Weiss: GULP!
Yang: What's the matter, still afraid to face me after all these years? Hmph, how pathetic. To even call yourself a soldier is just embarrasing.
Caboose: Hey you can't talk, Weiss like that! She's my best friend.
Yang: You... her friend?
Caboose: Yeah she may be a little noisy.
Weiss: Gee, Michael. Thanks.
Yang: SHUT UP!
Weiss: EEK!
Yang: So you know who I am, that's something. But do you know what she did before she came here?
Caboose: Yeah she told me that she was in a base with you during an exam. But it got attack by space pirates who want to steal things, arrrgh. She was then given orders by her teacher to escape because she had to bring back important dates before the pirates steal it. You know I like the Egyptian ones. They're very chewy like gum.
Ruby: Don't you mean 'data'?
Caboose: Yeah that too.
Yang: And what else did she tell you about us?
Caboose: Well I know is that Ruby disobeyed her orders to save everybody, leaving the pirates to take over the base. And you kicked a guy's balls because he ordered you to tell everyone to fight back despite the pirates winning. And... Weiss, what did Blake do...?
Yang: TO HELL WITH ORDERS!
Caboose: Mommy!

Caboose stepped back away from Yang's explosive wrath.

Yang: Those soldiers back couldn't stand a chance against them! I don't give a damn what our superiors ordered us to do, but me and Ruby won't stand idly to see them get slaughtered. And Weiss over there, just left us and those people to die, just for what? A PLACE IN ATLAS' MILITARY! Is that something you would consider her a 'friend'?
Caboose:... Yep.
Yang: Good... wait, what?
Caboose: Uhm... because, no matter what your friends did, he'll always be your friend.
Yang: That... is the most stupidest quote I've ever heared. IT MATTERS WHAT SHE DID... TO US! Now move aside so I can pummel her bitchy face!
Caboose: Nope.
Yang: Sigh... then you left me no choice. EAT THIS!

Yang raises her fist and strikes Caboose, only for him to catch it mid air. His quick reflexes surprised everyone. Yang's tries to yank off her fist from his tight grasps...

CRUNCH

... followed by the sound of a metallic crunch. Caboose finally lets go of her hand. Yang looks at her right hand and was shocked to see her hand has been crushed.

Yang: WHAT AND HOW?!
Caboose: Sorry! I squeezed it too tight.
Weiss: Holy... shit.
Ruby: Is... that normal?
Yang: No. This was supposed to be made out of titanium and he crushed it... as if it was paper. That's so... metal... RETREAT!!!
Ruby: RUNAWAY!!!

Yang and Ruby, run like hell from Caboose. Oh the sweet irony.

Donut: (from afar) Hey, guys. Why are you running, aren't you supposed to fight them?
Yang: We're not running. This is the Xiao Long secret technique! Ruby, you didn't tell me he was that strong!
Ruby: I didn't know, just keep running!

Weiss emerged from the safety of Caboose's back. She can't believe, they're gone.

Weiss: My God, Michael. How did you do that?
Caboose: Oh it was nothing. I don't like bullies harming my best friends. And I like catching hands.
Weiss: Nothing? I've never seen Yang run away from fight before. That's was... AWESOME. Since when did you do workout?
Caboose: I just drank a lot of milk till my muscles grow strong. That's what they said in the commercials.
Weiss: Milk makes your bones stronger, not muscles you beautiful dope. Now then, let's get the hell out of here before Yang come's back!

In the caves.

TZZT

Vic: Hello, Project Freelancer Operational Command Center. This is your friendly neighborhood, Virtual Intelligence Computer, calling from Blood Gulch.

???: This is Command. What seems to be the problem?
Vic: Finally, been calling for ten minutes. Hey listen, your drunk driver called me last night and asked if he can parked right next to the Red base. I allowed and now the ship's here, burnt up to a crisp and sitting there like it's nobody's business.
???: Copy that, V.I.C. Is it the ship, Sanctuary?
Vic: That's the one.
???: And what is the status of the subject?
Vic: She is hot as hell. Where did you guys pick her up, the Red Light Outpost?
???: Ahem.
Vic: Sorry. The good news is, she's a-ok. The bad news, she told the Reds what happened. They're willing to hide that fine body to stroll around their territory, tsk tsk. Send in those Recovery people to pick her up. Also get aclean up crew for this mess. Seeing that ship here is an eyesore.
???: Acknowledge. We'll send in a Recovery squad. And one more thing. How's the Alpha?
Vic: Still a hot head as always. Why do you ask?
???: Nothing. We just want to know its current status, that's all. Hehehe... nyehehehehehehe... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! YOU FOOLS! THE DARKNESS WILL CONSUME YOU ALL! NYEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!... Command, out.

TZZT

Vic: Hmm, must've said somethin' funny. Ah, oh well I'm sure it's nothing serious!

A/N: Sorry the is so rushed. My degree started and I've been busy lately

Description
Previously

*RVB Opening Theme*

Grif: Ugh...
Simmons: Grif. Grif? GRIF!
Grif: Wha- Mom?
Simmons: Nope it's your old pal, Simmons.
Grif: Oh man, I had the weirdest dream. There was this blonde chick who emerged from this crashed ship. She was hot as hell, you could've seen her! But then all the sudden she started sabotaging everything just to cover her tracks because she claimed that Command kidnapped her because they chose her to be a new host for O'Malley.
Yang: Who's O'Malley?

That was no dream!

Grif: O-oh fuck... me.

He faints again.

Ruby: Not again! That's the third time he fainted. Next one might end up a coma.
Sarge: Dagnabbit. Lopez, get a bucket of hydrofluoric acid. Water won't work this time.
Lopez: Sí señor.
Ruby: Wait won't that kill him?
Donut: Nah I think he'll be alright. Probably with just a few bald spots.
Ruby: Okay... By the way, Yang, what is Omega?
Yang: Hey don't ask me, I only heard it from the guards. But from the way your team reacted, it looks like they know what it is.
Ruby: Do you?
Sarge: Of course we know him. He's our greatest nemesis. A crazed computer program that tried to kill all of us with his rockets and his laughs. Ah, those were the good old day.
Simmons: No it wasn't! He made me call, Sarge a cocksucker!

WHACK!

Simmons: OW!
Sarge: Still haven't forgive you for that.
Donut: He tried to kill us with a robot army.
Lopez: Incluso me secuestró y me convirtió en su asistente personal del mal.

Ruby and Yang:... Huuuuuh?
Simmons: Christ, let me tell you in detail. Long story short, he's an angry unstable megalomaniac AI used by a mercenary the Blues hired years ago. He went loose and started trying to kill every last one of us while possessing the body of conscientious objector with a rocket launcher. He was destroyed when he went into a Pelican with a bomb rigged inside it. Do you get the jist?
Ruby:...
Yang:...
Ruby: I got lost when you said 'conscientious objector with a rocket launcher'.
Simmons: Ugh... you know, forget what I said!
Donut: C'mon, Simmons. You'll have to try harder. Give a story a little... 'pizzazz'.
Ruby: I don't know what they're talking about, but I really wanna be in their world for five minutes.
Yang: Totally. It must've been very fun here before you came.
Simmons: Sigh, I don't understand. How did Command get their hands on him? Didn't the Pelican blew up with him and Tex inside?
Sarge: Of course it did. I made sure he stayed dead by adding more payload inside the ship, strong enough to obliterate everything in a fifteen mile radius into space dusts. That explosion was a huge sight to behold!
Lopez: Realmente no era tan grande.
Simmons: And did you remove the ship's radio before that?

Both stared at each other for a moment.

Sarge:... Ah fiddlesticks.
Simmons: HOW COULD YOU FORGET ABOUT THE RADIO?!
Caboose: Hello!
Weiss: Quiet!

Someone's calling from outside.

Yang: Who's that?
Simmons: The Blues.
Sarge: Captain Ahab's Barnacles, they must be here to salvage the ship for themselves. Damn vultures! Donut, Rose, go handle them.
Donut: Wha- what about you guys?
Sarge: One: Me and Lopez are trying to wake Grif up with EXTRA pain. And Two: Simmons' is needed here to find where O'Malley is being held at. The black box might contain information where did was being headed.
Simmons: I would love to do that, Sir. IF YANG DIDN'T DESTROY THE COMM'S ROOM!
Yang: I said I was sorry!
Ruby: Why not call, Vic? Maybe he can ask you.
Simmons: Oh please. He isn't that dumb enough to give us, O'Malley's exact location... unless... Sarge, permission to rip out the Warthog's radio. I have an idea.
Sarge: Now wait a minute, you can't just rip out a piece of the Warthog! That's a penalty of-
Simmons: I can do extra shifts.
Sarge: Deal!
Yang: Hey what about me? I can also fight those guys too. I really need to stretch this punching muscles of mine.
Sarge: Punching muscles, hmm? I see why not. Permission granted. Alright, Lopez. Ready to pour that acid on him.
Ruby: Yes! It's good to have you fight by my side.
Yang: Hey, you're not going to let me miss out the fun. So, Donut. How many out there?
Donut: Two.
Yang: Two?! I expected more than fifty.
Donut: Nah just two. There was suppose to be three more but I'm not sure why they didn't come along.
Ruby: Hmm... maybe it's a Blue tactic. The two waiting outside are acting as a distraction while the other three are prepared to ambush us.
Yang: That means we'll be surrounded. But that ain't a problem for me once I kick their asses.
Donut: You against five of them? Wow, you're a bigger badass than I thought.
Ruby: Trust me, she is. Back at basic, she destroyed an entire team all by herself without needing any help. It was awesome.
Yang: Thank you. So what do you know about those two?
Donut: Well there's Caboose on the tank and then there's Weiss.
Yang: A tank, huh? That'll be easy once I throw my homemade... who was the other person?

Outside

Weiss: This is the Blue team! Come out with your hands up or be destroyed. There's no point in fighting 'cause we have a tank that outguns your pathetic little Warthog. But if do you seek battle, that's fine by me. That is all.

She turns off the megaphone and turns to Caboose, sitting inside the tank.

Weiss: Alright, Michael. We're just here to talk about the ship, no need to go all guns blazing.
Caboose: If we're here to talk with the Red, why did we bring, Sheila here?
Weiss: Just for precaution. Plus, I intend to see a shell liquifying both Ruby's legs.
Caboose: Okay. Hi, Donut!

Donut appeared on the roof alone. Where is the rest of the Reds?, Weiss thought. Something's up and good thing she brought the tank.

Donut: Hi, guys! Hey where's everybody else?
Weiss: Busy scrubbing the floors with their toothbrushes. That's what happens when you don't report anything important to your leader. (whisper) Keep an eye out for, Ruby. We're here to talk about the ship. Do you know what happened to it and where it came from?
Donut: Didn't you guy's hear the crash yesterday?
Caboose: Weiss didn't hear it because she was singing in the bathroom when it happened.
Donut: Ooh can she sing Mordern Major General?
Weiss: No.
Donut: Sorry, guys. But there's nothing left to trade with you except ash and stuff. And it wasn't carrying anything too.
Weiss: We're not here to trade. We got enough SMGs in the armory. How can you be sure it wasn't carrying anything?
Donut: Yang told us.
Weiss: I-I-I'm sorry, can you repeat what you said?
Donut: I said...
Yang: (offscreen) Shh! Not now.
Donut: I should go back inside. We're quite busy today. Grif fainted not too long ago. Sarge and Lopez are trying to wake him up. Simmons' working on a pet project on communication and I was sewing silk for the winter.
Weiss: Silk?! You don't use silk for the winter, you idiot! And winter isn't coming in another six months.
Donut: I mean- Sangheili silk. It's a very nice alternative to wool... kinda
Weiss: Really? And tel me, what is Rose doing?
Donut: Making runs around the base.
Weiss: Oh you mean... HER?

Weiss sticks out her foot slightly up in the air. Then a flash of red accident trips on the leg and crashes on the tank, head first. Ouch, that did not go as plan.

Ruby: Ow...!
Weiss: Ah, poor old, Rose. Always forget that I've read every move she makes back at Beacon. Alright, Donut, enough games...

HISSSSS

The sound of hissing caught her attention. It came from next to her and... oh no. A plasma grenade is stuck onto the turret!

Caboose: Why do hear a snake hissing?
Weiss: MICHAEL, GET OUT OFF THERE!

Caboose quicky jumps out from the tank. They both ran away until the grenade explodes, blowing the tank into pieces. Bye bye, Sheila (or her body), you will not be missed.

BOOOM!

Caboose: SHEILA, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

At Blue Base.

Church and Tucker could see the mushroom cloud erupted on the field. Must be one hell of a fight out there.

Tucker: Man I'm glad we're here cleaning up the base. Hey, Church can I burrow your toothbrush?
Church: No.

Back at Red Base.

Weiss: KUFF KUFF... Michael, are you alright?
Caboose: Yes, I'm fine. But Sheila... sniff... is dead.
Weiss: What the hell was that? There's no way a plasma grenade can create an explosion that big!
Yang: Unless it was made by me, YOU WHITE HAIRED BITCH!

That voice, that tone. No it couldn't be. She turned to the direction of the voice and sees a Red soldier carrying the same weapon that almost split her head into a bloody mess. And the only one carrying it is...

Weiss: Oh no...

Yang Xiao Long.

Yang: Hello, Weiss. Long time no see.
Caboose: Weiss, is that the angry friend you talked about?
Weiss: Yes. Yes she is... RUUUUN!

Weiss grabs Caboose's hand and run away from Yang. However they were stopped when three more plasma grenades land in front of them and exploded, creating two large craters roughly about 12 meters in diameter, six meters in depth.

Weiss: Oh crap! This is Weiss Schnee to Blue base, we require reinforcements, NOW!
Yang: NO ONE'S COMING TO SAVE YOUR FIRST CLASS ASS, SCHNEE! Just you, me and these two babies, Mr. and Mrs Fisty.

Yang cracks her knuckles as she approaches towards them, with raging red eyes focused on the one and only teammate who ran away.

Weiss: AAAAAH! MICHAEL, KEEP THAT PSYCHOPATH AWAY FROM ME!

Weiss quickly hides behind Caboose, cowering herself away from that golden monster that tried to kill her. Yang stopped as her path is block by Caboose who stood calmly between her and Weiss.

Caboose: Hello... big scary lady... with big boobs. My name is, Caboose. You must be,... Yang.
Yang:...
Caboose:...
Yang:... Uhm...hi? Do I know you?
Caboose: Yeah, Weiss told me that t you are the angry friend. She also told me that you and Ruby are sisters and were part of a team in the letters R, W, B and Y.
Ruby: Actually it's pronounced... ow my nose!... 'Ruby', with a 'W'.
Caboose: Oooh! Wait if it's pronounce Ruby, shouldn't 'W' be a 'U'?
Yang: (whisper) Who is this guy?
Ruby: That's Caboose. Dumbest member in the Blue team here.
Yang: A mentally retarded guy serving in the Blue army, huh? I'll deal with you later.

Yang glares at Weiss.

Yang: So, Weiss. This is where you've been. Stationed in a desolate box canyon with nothing but sand and rocks. I thought you'd be in the Atlesian army by now.
Weiss: GULP!
Yang: What's the matter, still afraid to face me after all these years? Hmph, how pathetic. To even call yourself a soldier is just embarrasing.
Caboose: Hey you can't talk, Weiss like that! She's my best friend.
Yang: You... her friend?
Caboose: Yeah she may be a little noisy.
Weiss: Gee, Michael. Thanks.
Yang: SHUT UP!
Weiss: EEK!
Yang: So you know who I am, that's something. But do you know what she did before she came here?
Caboose: Yeah she told me that she was in a base with you during an exam. But it got attack by space pirates who want to steal things, arrrgh. She was then given orders by her teacher to escape because she had to bring back important dates before the pirates steal it. You know I like the Egyptian ones. They're very chewy like gum.
Ruby: Don't you mean 'data'?
Caboose: Yeah that too.
Yang: And what else did she tell you about us?
Caboose: Well I know is that Ruby disobeyed her orders to save everybody, leaving the pirates to take over the base. And you kicked a guy's balls because he ordered you to tell everyone to fight back despite the pirates winning. And... Weiss, what did Blake do...?
Yang: TO HELL WITH ORDERS!
Caboose: Mommy!

Caboose stepped back away from Yang's explosive wrath.

Yang: Those soldiers back couldn't stand a chance against them! I don't give a damn what our superiors ordered us to do, but me and Ruby won't stand idly to see them get slaughtered. And Weiss over there, just left us and those people to die, just for what? A PLACE IN ATLAS' MILITARY! Is that something you would consider her a 'friend'?
Caboose:... Yep.
Yang: Good... wait, what?
Caboose: Uhm... because, no matter what your friends did, he'll always be your friend.
Yang: That... is the most stupidest quote I've ever heared. IT MATTERS WHAT SHE DID... TO US! Now move aside so I can pummel her bitchy face!
Caboose: Nope.
Yang: Sigh... then you left me no choice. EAT THIS!

Yang raises her fist and strikes Caboose, only for him to catch it mid air. His quick reflexes surprised everyone. Yang's tries to yank off her fist from his tight grasps...

CRUNCH

... followed by the sound of a metallic crunch. Caboose finally lets go of her hand. Yang looks at her right hand and was shocked to see her hand has been crushed.

Yang: WHAT AND HOW?!
Caboose: Sorry! I squeezed it too tight.
Weiss: Holy... shit.
Ruby: Is... that normal?
Yang: No. This was supposed to be made out of titanium and he crushed it... as if it was paper. That's so... metal... RETREAT!!!
Ruby: RUNAWAY!!!

Yang and Ruby, run like hell from Caboose. Oh the sweet irony.

Donut: (from afar) Hey, guys. Why are you running, aren't you supposed to fight them?
Yang: We're not running. This is the Xiao Long secret technique! Ruby, you didn't tell me he was that strong!
Ruby: I didn't know, just keep running!

Weiss emerged from the safety of Caboose's back. She can't believe, they're gone.

Weiss: My God, Michael. How did you do that?
Caboose: Oh it was nothing. I don't like bullies harming my best friends. And I like catching hands.
Weiss: Nothing? I've never seen Yang run away from fight before. That's was... AWESOME. Since when did you do workout?
Caboose: I just drank a lot of milk till my muscles grow strong. That's what they said in the commercials.
Weiss: Milk makes your bones stronger, not muscles you beautiful dope. Now then, let's get the hell out of here before Yang come's back!

In the caves.

TZZT

Vic: Hello, Project Freelancer Operational Command Center. This is your friendly neighborhood, Virtual Intelligence Computer, calling from Blood Gulch.

???: This is Command. What seems to be the problem?
Vic: Finally, been calling for ten minutes. Hey listen, your drunk driver called me last night and asked if he can parked right next to the Red base. I allowed and now the ship's here, burnt up to a crisp and sitting there like it's nobody's business.
???: Copy that, V.I.C. Is it the ship, Sanctuary?
Vic: That's the one.
???: And what is the status of the subject?
Vic: She is hot as hell. Where did you guys pick her up, the Red Light Outpost?
???: Ahem.
Vic: Sorry. The good news is, she's a-ok. The bad news, she told the Reds what happened. They're willing to hide that fine body to stroll around their territory, tsk tsk. Send in those Recovery people to pick her up. Also get aclean up crew for this mess. Seeing that ship here is an eyesore.
???: Acknowledge. We'll send in a Recovery squad. And one more thing. How's the Alpha?
Vic: Still a hot head as always. Why do you ask?
???: Nothing. We just want to know its current status, that's all. Hehehe... nyehehehehehehe... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! YOU FOOLS! THE DARKNESS WILL CONSUME YOU ALL! NYEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!... Command, out.

TZZT

Vic: Hmm, must've said somethin' funny. Ah, oh well I'm sure it's nothing serious!

A/N: Sorry the is so rushed. My degree started and I've been busy lately