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Published: 2013-10-27 11:49:45 +0000 UTC; Views: 4723; Favourites: 211; Downloads: 0
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Upon a midnight stroll I met a stranger,
His eyes were seas of ice within black,
And his haggard expression stank of danger.
I walked on as he walked along beside me,
Until neither he nor I turned back.
Under lamp-lit asphalt the stranger spoke,
His voice was brittle: his lisp bad,
And with hesitant breath he drew a smoke.
I stopped as he stopped away behind me,
Never did I perceive a countenance as sad.
Patiently I waited against the midnight clear,
As he sucked dry that growling flame,
Then he continued on, closer for me to hear.
"Stay awhile. For I offer you a fine regale,
Of terror, love, and death: an unearthly tale."
He paused. Oh I wish I could escape his gaze.
"But I declare I have no care for guilt,
Nor regret." says the stranger; irises ablaze.
"Why is that?" I replied. Now he had me,
A prisoner trapped. Oh how my heart did wilt.
"Yesterday dawn is where my tale will begin,
That is when I first encountered her smile,
Pearls that shone without corruption nor sin.
She was beautiful - You see. An angel free,
But her wrath made her sick. Turned her vile."
I listened to the stranger's tale in banality,
Sleep was hearkening to me with her song,
And I had no time to endorse insanity with pity.
Alas he tarried onward: "Her locks were summer,
Nay more like hell's sun, so vibrant and strong."
"We passed each other in yonder meadow glade,
And I knew at once her untainted purpose,
Before she faded into that ever gnawing shade.
My heart exploded, my hands shook, and yet,
Nowhere was I to find her: my ghostly rose."
I yawned for I knew in my gut his romance,
Was naught but a mere story of clichΓ©.
"I knew I had to see her again. No chance,
Was I given unless a miracle rained down;
So I slept knowing my luck was risquΓ©."
He glanced at me with those eyes of his,
And for a second I thought I saw a tear.
"Patience rewarded me with a sudden kiss,
Overjoyed was I to believe she loved me too.
Aghast in horror I awoke to witness fear."
"Staring. All I did was stare and stare,
This was no lady. Nay, nor angel true,
But a hideous demon with blood in her hair.
No words could I utter as my mind raced,
This creature. This abomination. Left me blue."
"Then what happened?" I asked, feeling a chill,
"Daylight shone bright over her crimson mane.
Grimace did I as she whispered her whisper ill,
For she meant to kill me and this I knew too well,
Though my legs felt weak. Still I was sane."
"She raised a mighty club of an arm to punish,
Yet petrified as I was; I escaped her fate.
Dead grass enveloped me like a corpse's garnish,
Again she tried. Again I ducked and I cried,
Survival was being erased off my mortal slate."
Wet drops appeared to glaze his weary face,
Briefly he seemingly faded into vapour,
Stab my eyes: he disappeared without trace.
Minutes passed with no sight nor sound;
At last he appeared to continue once more.
"We are near the end, my earthly friend,
Share shall I, my untimely consequence;
Inflicted after my action I did rend.
Memories wither I am afraid at this stage,
Yet my final hours I recall in sequence.
She spat greasy saliva from her bony maws,
To bind me and blind me with her madness.
Oh how I quivered when I felt her hot jaws,
Rest close against my own. How I wept;
Until finally I succumbed to pitch darkness."
"You must have survived at least," says I,
"Since dead men can speak no words."
"Survive? Nay. Hear me now the reason why.
What can a weak soul do against such anger,
Without Cortana to guide as a shield or sword?
I found neither heaven nor hell when I died,
Except a shining expanse of infinite light.
However nothing would stop me not even pride,
To return and rid my home of her cruelty,
Even though my spirit was chained to twilight.
Alone I was within that shell of imprisonment,
An island surrounded by an ocean in fire,
Yet I knew I would escape this containment.
So hours passed and rolled into a single dream,
Revenge broiled within me like Medea's desire.
Finally I achieved what I had deeply yearned,
I found myself a witness to my morbid aftermath,
Yet she did not seem to notice I had returned.
I wish I could have killed her then and there,
Alas she stood; mouth agape with a mocking laugh."
Intently my attention was fixed upon his story,
Encapsulating me in his bubble of narration,
What a thrill to hear a tale devoid of glory.
He erupted for a time cursing through sobs,
Until he steered his thoughts to a conclusion.
"Ignoring her guttural insults: I saw my frame,
Battered, shattered, and lying in pain,
And now did I realise this was a child's game.
Innocently she picked me up like a rag doll,
Proceeded to swing me about again and again.
All my emotion of revenge withered into dust,
As I watched her play with abandoned glee.
Being of one now deceased, I felt a new trust,
That we were bound to a state of appeasement;
How wrong was I to really believe I was free?
I cannot say what horror I felt that hour,
When her grotesque form burst to a fiery glow.
Leather skin ripped like petals from a flower,
There she was - my ghostly rose. Her eyes wide;
Her skin bear as translucent as winter's snow.
She staggered as though she were a new born,
Then she caught her first glance at her crime;
My how she let out a howl deep and forlorn.
If malice had she when possessed by evil,
Only fresh kindness did she utilise this time.
Astonished was I when she dug me a grave,
Furiously clawing at moist soil with her nails,
Where upon she cried she was but Death's slave.
Righteous was her deed enough for me to forgive,
So forgiveness I entreated for her wails.
Now comes my shocking finale to this, my tale,
For upon dense winds did she hear my forgiveness,
Since her face drained and her lips went pale.
My corpse was at her side or so she believed,
Though here I was now shrouded in bleakness.
She stood up with a frightful gasp and died,
Her burden purged and my revenge bittersweet.
Demonic no more, but as an angel she cried,
Towards the light, towards that beacon.
Now here my tale ends like your own heartbeat."
Upon a midnight stroll I met a stranger,
He told me a story of love and death,
Pierced with words fraught with danger.
He walked away and I walked beside him,
Until neither he nor I drew a single breath.
Related content
Comments: 132
NemoX7 In reply to Malintra-Shadowmoon [2015-08-16 14:21:43 +0000 UTC]
Thank you! Yup, I was quite pleased with how this one turned out.
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Malintra-Shadowmoon In reply to NemoX7 [2015-08-16 16:58:08 +0000 UTC]
You are very welcome. I liked it at first sight when reading it
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LauraS45 [2014-07-29 18:43:25 +0000 UTC]
This is a magnificent poem. I love your use of imagery, it just captures you into the poem in a haunting way that makes you feel the story, like the emotions put into it. Lovely job.
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TinaLouiseUk [2014-06-28 14:26:12 +0000 UTC]
wow...what an epic read! A chilling tale, such vivid imagery. Thoroughly enjoyed x
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NemoX7 In reply to TinaLouiseUk [2014-06-28 14:28:57 +0000 UTC]
Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed this complex endeavour as much I spent writing it. x
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TinaLouiseUk In reply to NemoX7 [2014-06-28 14:39:16 +0000 UTC]
I usually get put off when a read is too long, however it grips from the get go so was an easy read x
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Nicole-Nyx [2013-11-18 02:00:16 +0000 UTC]
Well, congratulations on the Daily Deviation. It is truly reminiscent of traditional folklore with a very personalised edge to it, especially in regards to the rhyme scheme and of course, the elevated descriptions. At first impression, I though that it would be something along the lines of "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening" by Robert Frost. Of course, I was wrong...I have come to interpret the female character as something along the lines of a succubus?
For a fairly straightforward story line, it does have a great deal of complexity and sophistication, as is typical of your work. The diction and imagery are simply fabulous. Is literature, by any chance, part of your profession?
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AccountTo-BeDeleted [2013-11-06 15:19:30 +0000 UTC]
First of all I've gotta say wow! No wonder you got a DD on this buddy. You are seriously a poetry prophet! Like I've told you before, the imagery you use in your poems are seriously mind-blowing. As I was reading this, I could basically see a movie of this rolling in my head. It's almost like I was there!! You know, you could seriously write a book and it would be a best-seller!
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NemoX7 In reply to AccountTo-BeDeleted [2013-11-06 17:52:31 +0000 UTC]
Yep, that's exactly how I see it as a movie. Some parts do get vague in a few poems,Β
but with this it was all vivid and pitch perfect in my mind. I keep thinking about writingΒ
a book. I probably will since I have a few ideas of what I want to write. Still I want toΒ
make sure I'm not writing up a plot that is too cliched and plus such a venture means
I need to find a sense of peace before I can commit to it. And thank you. The DD meant
a lot to me, still look at it like it's unreal.
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AccountTo-BeDeleted In reply to NemoX7 [2013-11-09 16:10:14 +0000 UTC]
I know how you feel, I've been trying to write a book for eternity but I always seem to get into roadblocks but you have an amazing gift in writing and I hope you pursue that!
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CatGal15 [2013-11-01 08:02:17 +0000 UTC]
Very beautiful and sad. I think you are the best poet of 2013.
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NemoX7 In reply to CatGal15 [2013-11-01 08:11:50 +0000 UTC]
Oh why thank you. Best poet? I'm honoured, though I still got another two months until 2013 ends. You definitely sure you'd say the same once 2014 kicks in?
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NemoX7 In reply to Pancake-chan2974 [2013-11-01 08:13:47 +0000 UTC]
Thank you very much. Glad you enjoyed this.
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Pancake-chan2974 In reply to NemoX7 [2013-11-01 15:07:17 +0000 UTC]
Of course, it is wonderful!
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heatherhigurasshi [2013-11-01 01:10:18 +0000 UTC]
a poem inside a poem.... its poemception!!! you know kinda like inception... oh well i tried XDΒ i love the poem!!! congrats on the dd lol
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NemoX7 In reply to heatherhigurasshi [2013-11-01 08:19:24 +0000 UTC]
Poemception... I like that. A great portmanteau of poem and inception that accurately describes my poem so simply. Give yourself a pat on the back for thinking that up. Thank you, I'm glad you loved my poem and I appreciate your congratulations too XD
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heatherhigurasshi In reply to NemoX7 [2013-11-01 16:31:03 +0000 UTC]
your welcome XD and i just randomly thought of it. im glad you liked it ^.^ lolΒ
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NemoX7 In reply to Turtlechap [2013-11-01 08:14:30 +0000 UTC]
Yeah, I'm amazed I managed to get a dark edged poem out so close to Halloween. Thank you.
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NemoX7 In reply to dog1010 [2013-10-31 04:18:01 +0000 UTC]
Thank you very much. You humble me with your words.
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clonewars1162 [2013-10-31 02:59:27 +0000 UTC]
this is really good. i`ve read a lot of poems but this one is by far one of the best ones i have read.Β
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NemoX7 In reply to clonewars1162 [2013-10-31 03:02:44 +0000 UTC]
Oh why thank you. Any reason why you think this is one of the best ones you've read. Just me being curious.
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clonewars1162 In reply to NemoX7 [2013-10-31 03:11:38 +0000 UTC]
well. 1 the writing is really good. seen some that just annoyed me because of that. 2 love the story it`s in my view really good. and the way it all came together at the end. love it. Β but there is so many things i love about it. can`t really just name one. but i`ve read some poems before this that all i could really say or do after it was this .............. pretty much. but still yours is by far one of the best ones i`ve read.
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NemoX7 In reply to clonewars1162 [2013-10-31 03:18:35 +0000 UTC]
Hmm, indeed I've seen a few works (not just those on dA) that have been good, but get too convoluted under too much pretentiousness. Usually I rarely look at the majority of lit on dA since many make me cringe. However, it's all done to the reader at the end of the day. Regardless as a writer I don't write to please one set audience, my aim from the start is to write for myself. If people like what I write than that's good and if they don't then that's good too. I'm humbled that you believe mine to be one of the best. It really inspires me to continue writing.Β
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clonewars1162 In reply to NemoX7 [2013-10-31 03:52:05 +0000 UTC]
Yea. i understand what you mean. i use to read a lot of poems on DA. but honestly not very many of them could really keep me reading. i lose interest really fast depending on what it is. like watching a tv show. i never really watch TV for the reason that theres not really much interesting on it. but your story was really good. it made me want to keep reading to see what happens. it`s the kind of story i can read and not get board of. and you really should continue writing. would love to read more of you`re poems.
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NemoX7 In reply to clonewars1162 [2013-10-31 03:59:10 +0000 UTC]
I've got load mores, another 947 more. I write and write purely because a) TV programmes are so monotonous, they're only a select few I'll sit down to watch, b) I no longer have a games console to occupy my mind, so I rely on my imagination to conjure up things and c) it's astounding what my mind can come up with. Β
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clonewars1162 In reply to NemoX7 [2013-10-31 05:25:07 +0000 UTC]
Awesome. and i would most likely do the same with drawing.
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GreenPixieDust [2013-10-31 02:58:07 +0000 UTC]
By the light of Saidar and the cold glow of Saidin, this is a work of beauty and incredible talent. Very well done, you have a new friend.
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NemoX7 In reply to GreenPixieDust [2013-10-31 03:01:17 +0000 UTC]
Saidar? Saidin? I must investigate further these, you've unintentionally piqued my interest. Why thank you very much. I'm happy that you enjoyed my poem. Especially since I'm self-taught so I really appreciate your comment.Β
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GreenPixieDust In reply to NemoX7 [2013-10-31 03:17:21 +0000 UTC]
You deserve every word my friend, and I hope to see more taleweaving from one with your talents.
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NemoX7 In reply to GreenPixieDust [2013-10-31 03:22:48 +0000 UTC]
If you've checked out my profile you'll probably have noticed I've written quite a lot of poems. This is just one of many I've written in a short time. I do have a few tales I want to tell, a couple may appear as prose pieces. Though I prefer more to write poetry due to how spontaneous they are. This was one of many poems I started off from a 2 second thought and ran with on a stream of literary consciousness. I'm very pleased with how this turned out.
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GreenPixieDust In reply to NemoX7 [2013-10-31 03:30:26 +0000 UTC]
As you should be my friend, it is splendid. It is a very wonderful piece of art. I like writing poems and tales myself, I am just shy about putting them up. I recently posted a rant as a journal entry because the lack of equality betwixt human beings and other creatures upset me, however that is the extent of words I have posted on this site. I may post some of my work, I am not sure yet.
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NemoX7 In reply to GreenPixieDust [2013-10-31 03:39:46 +0000 UTC]
I see no reason why you shouldn't take a risk and post some of your literary work. You may actually be surprised by the responses you may get. Hopefully these responses will be constructive and positive. Personally I submit works regardless of audience expectation. It's a bit like chocolate, some people prefer the bitter dark variation, or the creamy white sort, or the classic - milk chocolate. Everyone likes different types of literature and art.Β
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GreenPixieDust In reply to NemoX7 [2013-10-31 03:44:49 +0000 UTC]
You are too true, and I adore the reference to chocolate. Mayhap I will take your advice, you are quite kind.
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NemoX7 In reply to GreenPixieDust [2013-10-31 03:53:18 +0000 UTC]
No worries. Be aware that some people may offer criticism devoid of helping you as a writer and more along the lines of an opinion verging on an insult. I've had a few back in the past when I was getting to grips with writing. My philosophy is to basically ignore the negative remarks since replying usually leads to a pointless argument. Write essentially what you enjoy and will lead you to return to it at a later date purely as a reader rather than the writer. So many I've written in the past I've come back to and thought "wow, did I actually come up with that?"
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GreenPixieDust In reply to NemoX7 [2013-10-31 03:56:43 +0000 UTC]
I know all too well the amount of cruelty that people can muster. However, you are right, I must write what I enjoy and I shall. I thank you for your kind words and keep your eye out for me my friend. Who knows, mayhap you will like one of my tales and we could write together sometime.
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The-Original-RPer [2013-10-31 00:54:34 +0000 UTC]
I didn't find it really all that engaging. The words are flowery but too flowery for my taste--not saying there's anything wrong with it, I know it's a style, but it felt like, in some ways, this dragged a bit. There was more words and lines then might have been needed (again, I know the older style of verse thrived on this sort of thing). I will say the actual core story is good--not 'epic' but good. Not entirely predictable, with jarring imagery to suit the tone. This obviously shows the amount of work and thought that was put into it, even if it's not my cup of tea.
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Frencifry [2013-10-30 20:40:29 +0000 UTC]
OHMYGOSH. I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU. This is amazing that you got such an honor for your poem. No wonder you were incredibly giddy about it. ^-^Β
But still. FREAKING 140 LINES IN TWO HOURS, WHAT THE HECK. That's outstandingly impressive. The longest poem I've ever written was 40-something lines, and even then I thought that was a lot.Β
I really liked this one a lot. I enjoyed the storytelling aspect of the piece; and I felt as though I myself was getting sucked in along with the main character. Also, I llove ghost/horror-like twists on things, so I really do like this piece. ^-^ Congrats again on the Daily Deviation feature! You deserve it.Β
See. I already thought yout were awesome wwith your writing and stuff, and now this happens.YOU'RE SO AMAZING. <3Β
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NemoX7 In reply to Frencifry [2013-10-31 01:57:21 +0000 UTC]
140 lines is a breeze. Wait until I decide to actually do something twice that amount. Although I'll only do it if I feel the narrative goes that way in a future endeavour. Actually to be much more precise it's 140 lines in 90 minutes if you deduct the 30 minutes spent during that period for brief pauses of thought.
This DD sure ticks off on my "Things to accomplish on dA" list. When I was writing it I thought it was pretty good. Since I had wanted to write a poem that would sit well with the classics, be simple and complex at the same time, entertain, and be sheer luck the dual nature of the piece works a treat. It can be hard to write two narratives and effectively meld them together so that the two don't feel forcibly stitched together.
I've already got ideas for new poems, even a short story. I came up with a horror story that basically scared the hell out of me. Still I'm rather proud of this piece, especially since it was so near Halloween I wrote the thing. Yeah, I'll definitely read this again in the future.
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AyeAye12 [2013-10-30 20:39:42 +0000 UTC]
You got a DD?! ABOUT DAMN TIME XD
Great piece though.Β
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NemoX7 In reply to AyeAye12 [2013-10-31 01:40:08 +0000 UTC]
Thank you. Yeah, it did take me a long time. There's probably lots of others in my repertoire that constitute recognition, but at least I managed to accomplish getting one before I reach my target goal.
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Daghrgenzeen [2013-10-30 19:43:17 +0000 UTC]
Mesmerising, I love how the tone switches from what I'd call a poetic feel (the stranger's turns) to a more prose-like feel (the turns of 'I'), and the two last verses... well, I find them to be the most powerful of all.
Congrats on the well-deserved DD!
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NemoX7 In reply to Daghrgenzeen [2013-10-31 01:38:22 +0000 UTC]
Thank you It's amazing what people can (or in some cases) can't get out of this. As I think I mentioned before somewhere, this has a lot going on in various levels. It was my aim to capture the style of the classic era of poetry writing and mixing the poetic feel with the prose helped quite a bit. I do at times feel that I could have done more for the end, but actually adding an extra 2 or 3 stanzas to set that up would be wrong since the finale's event actually occurred in the 3rd or 4th stanza if you know what words to look for.
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