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"My Tallest, haven't I always served you with all the greatness that is Zim?"
"..."
"..."
The two leaders glanced disbelievingly at each other, then returned their gazes to the Irken soldier prostrate before them. It was Red who sighed, waving his hand.
"If it'll make you go away, the human is spared." The invader's head shot up, a grin on his face, but the Tallest was quick to hold up his hand. "There are conditions, Zim. First, he'll be Irken; we'll have him fitted with a PAK. Although his memories won't be put into the Collective, the Collective will be put into him. He'll be a human in appearance only; his mind and body will work like an Irken's."
"Of course, my Tallest!" the soldier cried, leaping to his feet and saluting. What a gift! I thank you!"
Red sighed again, tiredly. "Have him report to the Smeetery once we reach Irk. Then we'll see if you thank us."
Nodding excitedly, the Irken invader called Zim scurried off, darting down the now-familiar halls of the Massive. He was eager to get back to the room he shared with the soon-to-be Irken, the Dib-human; they hadn't been so far apart since the Sweep of earth.
"Dib-thing! Zim is home!"
The paranormal enthusiast was, predictably, glued to the window of their small room. When the door opened he turned, pointing almost proudly out the window.
"Zim, get over here."
The Irken joined the boy there; the view was familiar to him, but the human's boyish excitement pleased him.
"What's that one called?"
Zim observed with interest how the blue and black Irken clothes seemed to suit the human. "That's the planet Blortch."
"And that one?"
"Ziconu."
"And what's that?"
"That's a Ziconuian ship."
"What's that?"
"It's the Millenium belt."
"What's the Millennium Belt?"
Zim laughed softly, knotting his fingers in the human's hair and pulling his gaze away from the window, forcing his head to turn so that they faced each other. He took in the bright, curious eyes, the mouth partially open, poised to ask another question.
"So full of questions, earth-stink?" he asked fondly, reaching forward and flicking the human's nose. "You know, curiosity suits you so much better than that wretched grief."
Dib shrugged, his mood unaffected by the reminder. "It hurts less than I thought, you know? I didn't have much on Earth to live for, anyway."
"Well now you have something to live for on the great planet of Irk!" Zim announced grandly, his tone inappropriate considering how close they stood to one another. "You are to be honored by becoming part of the greatest race ever to roam the galaxy!"
The human brightened, his expression more honestly happy than any expression Zim had ever known him to sport on earth. "They said 'yes?'"
The alien nodded. "Yes, they said 'yes.'"
Dib's expression turned devilish. "I'll stage a rebellion... yes, I'll take down your planet from the inside out!"
Zim chuckled, momentarily pressing the startled earthling's lips to his. "No, Dibling... no, you'll come to realize just how magnificent we Irkens are!"
"I'm sure I'll come to realize just how diabolical and twisted you are," the human said, sticking out his tongue. "Then I'll destroy you all."
Despite the mock-seriousness of the threat, Zim laughed. "Foolish earth-stink. You would never succeed. And even if you were to, you vould not destroy Zim."
Dib rolled his eyes. "Fine. I might return the favor and let you watch the destruction of your homeworld and the annihilation of your race. If you're nice to me."
A shrill, wordless wail made both human and Irken jump, and they spun to see the tiny green dog standing in the doorway. He had tears in his eyes and instantly ran to Dib, clinging to the boy's leg.
"Eh? What in...? GIR, what's going on?" Zim demanded. "Why are you still in your amazingly convincing earth disguise?"
"'Cause I is missin' da earth!" the defective SIR unit wailed, sobbing into a rather confused and sympathetic Dib. "I... I... I miss it!"
"GIR!" the Irken invader barked. "GIR, stop this foolishness! Stop it, I say! There is nothing to miss on that horrible, filthy stink-planet!"
The robot sniffed loudly. "Ah... I miss the cupcakes... and the tacos... and the taquitos...! I miss the grass... and the sun... and the squirrels...! I-I miss the parties, and I miss my piggy!"
"GIR, listen to me! Listen to Zim!" Planting his hands on his hips, the alien pointed to his supposedly evil minion. "You can't miss earth! I won't allow it!"
"Hey! You can't tell him that!" Dib objected suddenly, having knelt slightly to put his arms around the sobbing robot. Zim drew back.
"What is this?" he asked disbelievingly. "You're allying against me!"
The human sighed. "No, Zim, we're not allying against you. But jeez, you don't have to be such a jerk about it! I miss earth, too!"
"Seeeeeeee?" GIR whimpered, clinging tighter to Dib's clothes. "Dib-human misses earth, tooooo!"
Scowling, the Irken turned away from the scene, closing his eyes. "GIR, you know how to make those infernal... waffles, do you not?"
A hesitant nod. "Uh-huh..."
"Then you have my permission to go down to the kitchens and make them! Doing so will ease your foolish emotions of homesickness."
GIR brightened visibly. "Master wants waffles to ease homesickness!"
Zim's eyes flew open. "Wait! I never said-!"
"Okie-dokie! Waffles for master!" And with that the defective SIR unit was gone, bolting back out the door and down the hall, leaving Zim scowling after him.
"Foolish little piece of scrap metal!" he spat. "I require no waffles to ease this homesickness that I do not suffer from! I am Zim!"
"Oh, like you have no feelings at all," Dib sighed, sitting heavily on the floor. "Admit it, you miss earth."
"I will admit no such thing!" Zim roared. "No such thing at all!"
Craning his neck so that he could still see out the window, the human shook his head. "Shouldn't we be sitting in Ms. Bitters' class right now, Zim? Shouldn't I be trying to make everyone see you're an alien, and shouldn't you be plotting to take over the world?"
"No, we should not," the alien said brusquely. "Because I succeeded in taking over the world, and you failed. Right down to the end, you failed."
"You're right..." Dib admitted listlessly. "Right to the end..."
"Dad! Dad! There's still time! You can save us! Gaz...! At least save Gaz!"
"I don't have time for this, son!"
"Dad...!"
Watching the human with one open eye, Zim felt his antenna droop. He hadn't really meant to dredge up such things; he hated seeing his human in such a state, too fatigued to even strike back. But his pride wouldn't allow him the words to apologize.
"No! Let me go, Zim! I've got to-! Gaz! That's Gaz down there! Dad! Oh... oh god!"
"... Do not watch, Dib-thing... foolish Dib-thing."
"Why did I insist on watching...?"
Zim looked away, unsure if he was more irritated or depressed. "Because you're stupid, despite your disproportionately large head."
"Maybe that's true," Dib said softly.
With a visible effort, the human rose, going once again to the window. He rested his forehead against the glass in a motion of exhaustion, but his eyes stayed wide as he watched planets and stars whizz by. Soundlessly Zim joined him, wrapping one arm around the human's midsection, drawing him close.
"Zim is sorry for... such things."
"... I know."
Forcing himself to return to the present, Dib leaned over and kissed his Irken lover on the soft green temple; Zim turned, an unspoken agreement, and met his searching lips.
"You're all I have left," the human whispered. "You better not disappoint me, you jerk."
"Never,"the alien replied. "Zim cannot disappoint."
A vibration made the Irken's antenna perk up suddenly, and he drew back in surprise, looking down. Dib, realizing the problem quickly, flushed a pale shade of pink.
"You're hungry!" the alien said, surprised. He cuffed his companion over the head, antenna flattening. "Why does the Dib not use that huge mouth of his?!"
Dib looked down, seeming embarrassed as the Irken took his arm authoritatively. He looked regretfully over his shoulder as they left the relative security of the room, but Zim wouldn't hear of hiding there. He did, however, pull the human closer to his side as they started to encounter other Irkens; the whispering set both of them on edge, though the Irken was more far indignant than embarrassed.
"Do not question your greatest invader!" he snapped, making every Irken turn away self-consciously. "You will not question Zim!"
"Zim…" Dib pleaded, "don't attract attention…!"
"Foolish earth-stink!" the Irken spat. "Zim does not slink about like some blorchian grub-worm!" Then he added, more softly, "And neither should the Dib-thing, for the Dib-thing is almost equal to Zim."
"Hey!" the human objected, straightening and lurching sideways to pull Zim off balance. "I think Zim is almost equal to me!"
The Irken smirked. "You lost, stink-beast! You lost to Zim!"
"Only because I was tired of humanity," Dib insisted. "I let you win because it suited me."
"Yesyes, I know I am irresistible," Zim said carelessly, flicking his tongue over the human's ear. "We're here, unobservant human."
Emerging into the Irken cafeteria, the unconventional pair instantly commanded the attention of every creature in the room. Neither paid it any head, Zim leading the human up to the counter. Gazing at the unfamiliar food (and oddly familiar sandwiches), Dib sighed.
"I miss pizza."
Zim sighed, too, his eyes fixed on the donuts labeled Reserved for the Tallest on the top shelf. "I
miss how easy snacks were to obtain on your filthy planet."
Dib smirked, then turned to the Irken behind the counter. "What would you recommend?"
The poor food service drone blinked. "For a… human? Well… I, uh… couldn't really say…"
Despondent, the human sighed again. "I'll just take a sandwich, I guess."
Collecting the bag, Dib felt Zim take his arm again; they walked quickly back to their room, the human shutting the door gratefully behind them.
"Try it," the Irken urged suddenly, and Dib blinked.
"Huh?"
"The sandwich! Try the sandwich!" Zim said insistently, intensely.
Dib raised an eyebrow, but obligingly pulled out the sandwich and examined the Irken insignia stamped there. Glancing self-consciously at the watching alien, he took a large bite.
"Ah!" the human drew back in surprise, pinkish goo dripping from his mouth, which had fallen open. "I's gwooey!"
Zim nodded excitedly. "Superior, yes? The goo, the goo!"
Chewing open-mouthed as one might chew a particularly sticky, annoying caramel, Dib furrowed his brow. "Bizarre! It's… sweet goo…! Is all Irken food like this?"
"Superior, yes?" Zim asked again, smugly.
"…" The human wrinkled his nose. I-I'll get used to it… maybe."
… … …
The trip to Irk took only three short days, during which time the two were never seen apart. Zim was the portrait of possessive, hissing and shielding the human from hostile eyes. And even though he didn't actually need protection, Dib couldn't help but be pleased. It was the human who spotted Irk first, glued to the window as he had been for the majority of the trip.
"Zim! Zim!" he called excitedly, hands against the glass. "Zim, is that Irk?"
The Irken joined his companion, leaning with his shoulder against the window. "There she is," he said dreamily. "All of Irk is waiting to welcome Zim and his human, yes…"
The two stood in silence, content to watch the metal-encrusted planet grow bigger as they approached, until at last it took up the whole view. Then Zim turned into the room, gathering up the pair's few possessions (green monkey statue among them). Dib had escaped earth's destruction with only his glasses and the clothes on his back; in a token show of defiance, he shed the Irken clothes he had been wearing and donned his human garb for the arrival on Irk.
"Yeeeeeeeewoooooooo!"
Both human and Irken glanced up at the excited shriek, and suddenly Zim was bowled off his feet. Dib burst out laughing as the little robot grabbed his master's face.
"GIR?!" Shoving the defective SIR unit off, the Irken sat up. "Where have you been? Tell Zim, tell Zim now!"
"I was gettin'-!" GIR stopped short, eyes flashed, and suddenly his smile faded. "I have been repaired, sir," he finished, deadpan.
"Eh? Repaired?" Zim asked. "What is the meaning of this?"
"My defective circuitry, sir!" was the reply. "It has been repaired. Awaiting orders, sir!"
Looking unnerved, the Irken took a step back. "GIR! Stop this foolishness!"
"I have, sir," the robot said, seeming rather confused. "I have stopped all foolishness." Then his eyes lit red, head rising. "The Tallest! They summon me!" he announced, and then walked out without a single glance back.
Zim looked bewildered and, for lack of a better word, lost as he stared after his evil minion. Dib joined the Irken, letting their shoulders touch.
"What was that about?" he asked, for lack of a better thing to say.
The Irken Invader gave himself a shake. "It must be a temporary side effect of the arrival on Irk. The electric field must be effecting his AI circuits- perhaps for the better. Do not worry yourself over it, Dib-human."
I'm not the one worried about it... the human thought, glancing at his companion nervously. Zim was biting his lip, a very human habit; his teeth, sharper than the average human's, had managed to draw blood.
"Landing in 10 minutes," a voice on the speaker said, and both human and Irken jumped. "Prepare for disembarkation."
Zim shook himself again, a somewhat-forced grin splitting his face. "Come, earth-stink," he said, but Dib pulled him back toward the window, watching with intense curiosity as the planet's surface approached.
"I don't see any plants," he said, looking over at Zim. "Th-there is oxygen on your planet, right? I mean, you could breath on earth, so I assumed..."
The Irken nodded, his grin becoming more honest. "Irk has factories that produce her air."
Dib looked startled. "Factories?"
"We have evolved past the point of needing petty plant or animal life on the great planet of Irk!" Zim announced grandly, and the human shifted nervously.
"Are you the only organic organisms on your whole planet?"
"Some necessary bacteria are grown in various labs," the Irken said with a shrug, completely at ease with his kind's artificial existence. "Our food is produced in factories as well."
Thinking of the gooey sandwiches he had been subsisting on, Dib gave up hope of any real food with a sigh. Then he turned back to the window, unsure of whether or not he was actually pleased to be descending into such a metallic, artificially-generated world.
But the human had regained his enthusiasm by the time they landed; it was hard to be anything but excited at the sight of the sprawling civilization waiting to greet them. Disembarking from the Massive was an event; Zim, the returning invader, was to be the focal point of the parade, standing beside the Tallest. But he wouldn't even hear of being separated from his human, and so both of them ended up standing on the platform beside the two figureheads, Zim waving jovially and Dib peering around with almost frantic curiosity, stretching his neck up as he gazed out over the sea of welcoming Irkens.
The Tallest were none too pleased.
Laughing, Zim held up both arms and waved wildly, obviously enjoying himself as he blew kisses to the crowd. The crowd, rather confused in general,applauded dutifully as they whispered among themselves about the defective Zim and the strange alien he now had in tow. Such alien gestures he was making, too; nothing like a kiss existed on Irk. And they kept whispering, even after the Tallest and their two much shorter companions had vanished into the domed building where they resided.
"This... this is incredible!" Dib exclaimed as soon as he could make himself heard without shouting. "Zim, this is amazing!"
"Zim knew you would find it so," the Irken said proudly, puffing out his chest.
"I mean, this is just-!" the human started to continue, but was cut off by
Red clearing his throat sharply.
"You, earth... thing, are to report to the Smeetery, where we raise our young," he said, regarding Dib with bored distaste. "There you'll be fitted with a PAK and given access to the Irken Collective."
"Oh wow!" Dib exclaimed, looking excitedly at Zim and then back at the Tallest. "A-A PAK? Is that...?"
"You will become an Irken, young man," Purple said sternly. "If you expect us to accept you, you have no choice!"
Suddenly nervous, the human glanced back at Zim. The invader smiled encouragingly. Swallowing and steeling himself, Dib turned back to the Tallest.
"Alright. Tell me the way."
"This SIR unit will show you," Red said tiredly, waving his hand. Instantly a fully-functional SIR unit was there, saluting.
"Sir! This way, sir!" it chirped, pointing. Dib lingered, however, taking a step in the opposite direction, back towards Zim.
"Foolish Dib-thing," the Orken said, amused. "Zim will be right here when you return."
"You better be," the human said threateningly, but the quaver in his voice betrayed just how nervous he was. He followed the SIR unit, though, padding after it through the alien hallways with all the confidence he could muster.
As the darkness of the tunnel closed around him, he glanced back; only Zim's luminous eyes remained visible, still fixed on him as he descended.

Thank you for reading! Please see the description below for important information regarding future chapters!

Description

"My Tallest, haven't I always served you with all the greatness that is Zim?"
"..."
"..."
The two leaders glanced disbelievingly at each other, then returned their gazes to the Irken soldier prostrate before them. It was Red who sighed, waving his hand.
"If it'll make you go away, the human is spared." The invader's head shot up, a grin on his face, but the Tallest was quick to hold up his hand. "There are conditions, Zim. First, he'll be Irken; we'll have him fitted with a PAK. Although his memories won't be put into the Collective, the Collective will be put into him. He'll be a human in appearance only; his mind and body will work like an Irken's."
"Of course, my Tallest!" the soldier cried, leaping to his feet and saluting. What a gift! I thank you!"
Red sighed again, tiredly. "Have him report to the Smeetery once we reach Irk. Then we'll see if you thank us."
Nodding excitedly, the Irken invader called Zim scurried off, darting down the now-familiar halls of the Massive. He was eager to get back to the room he shared with the soon-to-be Irken, the Dib-human; they hadn't been so far apart since the Sweep of earth.
"Dib-thing! Zim is home!"
The paranormal enthusiast was, predictably, glued to the window of their small room. When the door opened he turned, pointing almost proudly out the window.
"Zim, get over here."
The Irken joined the boy there; the view was familiar to him, but the human's boyish excitement pleased him.
"What's that one called?"
Zim observed with interest how the blue and black Irken clothes seemed to suit the human. "That's the planet Blortch."
"And that one?"
"Ziconu."
"And what's that?"
"That's a Ziconuian ship."
"What's that?"
"It's the Millenium belt."
"What's the Millennium Belt?"
Zim laughed softly, knotting his fingers in the human's hair and pulling his gaze away from the window, forcing his head to turn so that they faced each other. He took in the bright, curious eyes, the mouth partially open, poised to ask another question.
"So full of questions, earth-stink?" he asked fondly, reaching forward and flicking the human's nose. "You know, curiosity suits you so much better than that wretched grief."
Dib shrugged, his mood unaffected by the reminder. "It hurts less than I thought, you know? I didn't have much on Earth to live for, anyway."
"Well now you have something to live for on the great planet of Irk!" Zim announced grandly, his tone inappropriate considering how close they stood to one another. "You are to be honored by becoming part of the greatest race ever to roam the galaxy!"
The human brightened, his expression more honestly happy than any expression Zim had ever known him to sport on earth. "They said 'yes?'"
The alien nodded. "Yes, they said 'yes.'"
Dib's expression turned devilish. "I'll stage a rebellion... yes, I'll take down your planet from the inside out!"
Zim chuckled, momentarily pressing the startled earthling's lips to his. "No, Dibling... no, you'll come to realize just how magnificent we Irkens are!"
"I'm sure I'll come to realize just how diabolical and twisted you are," the human said, sticking out his tongue. "Then I'll destroy you all."
Despite the mock-seriousness of the threat, Zim laughed. "Foolish earth-stink. You would never succeed. And even if you were to, you vould not destroy Zim."
Dib rolled his eyes. "Fine. I might return the favor and let you watch the destruction of your homeworld and the annihilation of your race. If you're nice to me."
A shrill, wordless wail made both human and Irken jump, and they spun to see the tiny green dog standing in the doorway. He had tears in his eyes and instantly ran to Dib, clinging to the boy's leg.
"Eh? What in...? GIR, what's going on?" Zim demanded. "Why are you still in your amazingly convincing earth disguise?"
"'Cause I is missin' da earth!" the defective SIR unit wailed, sobbing into a rather confused and sympathetic Dib. "I... I... I miss it!"
"GIR!" the Irken invader barked. "GIR, stop this foolishness! Stop it, I say! There is nothing to miss on that horrible, filthy stink-planet!"
The robot sniffed loudly. "Ah... I miss the cupcakes... and the tacos... and the taquitos...! I miss the grass... and the sun... and the squirrels...! I-I miss the parties, and I miss my piggy!"
"GIR, listen to me! Listen to Zim!" Planting his hands on his hips, the alien pointed to his supposedly evil minion. "You can't miss earth! I won't allow it!"
"Hey! You can't tell him that!" Dib objected suddenly, having knelt slightly to put his arms around the sobbing robot. Zim drew back.
"What is this?" he asked disbelievingly. "You're allying against me!"
The human sighed. "No, Zim, we're not allying against you. But jeez, you don't have to be such a jerk about it! I miss earth, too!"
"Seeeeeeee?" GIR whimpered, clinging tighter to Dib's clothes. "Dib-human misses earth, tooooo!"
Scowling, the Irken turned away from the scene, closing his eyes. "GIR, you know how to make those infernal... waffles, do you not?"
A hesitant nod. "Uh-huh..."
"Then you have my permission to go down to the kitchens and make them! Doing so will ease your foolish emotions of homesickness."
GIR brightened visibly. "Master wants waffles to ease homesickness!"
Zim's eyes flew open. "Wait! I never said-!"
"Okie-dokie! Waffles for master!" And with that the defective SIR unit was gone, bolting back out the door and down the hall, leaving Zim scowling after him.
"Foolish little piece of scrap metal!" he spat. "I require no waffles to ease this homesickness that I do not suffer from! I am Zim!"
"Oh, like you have no feelings at all," Dib sighed, sitting heavily on the floor. "Admit it, you miss earth."
"I will admit no such thing!" Zim roared. "No such thing at all!"
Craning his neck so that he could still see out the window, the human shook his head. "Shouldn't we be sitting in Ms. Bitters' class right now, Zim? Shouldn't I be trying to make everyone see you're an alien, and shouldn't you be plotting to take over the world?"
"No, we should not," the alien said brusquely. "Because I succeeded in taking over the world, and you failed. Right down to the end, you failed."
"You're right..." Dib admitted listlessly. "Right to the end..."
"Dad! Dad! There's still time! You can save us! Gaz...! At least save Gaz!"
"I don't have time for this, son!"
"Dad...!"
Watching the human with one open eye, Zim felt his antenna droop. He hadn't really meant to dredge up such things; he hated seeing his human in such a state, too fatigued to even strike back. But his pride wouldn't allow him the words to apologize.
"No! Let me go, Zim! I've got to-! Gaz! That's Gaz down there! Dad! Oh... oh god!"
"... Do not watch, Dib-thing... foolish Dib-thing."
"Why did I insist on watching...?"
Zim looked away, unsure if he was more irritated or depressed. "Because you're stupid, despite your disproportionately large head."
"Maybe that's true," Dib said softly.
With a visible effort, the human rose, going once again to the window. He rested his forehead against the glass in a motion of exhaustion, but his eyes stayed wide as he watched planets and stars whizz by. Soundlessly Zim joined him, wrapping one arm around the human's midsection, drawing him close.
"Zim is sorry for... such things."
"... I know."
Forcing himself to return to the present, Dib leaned over and kissed his Irken lover on the soft green temple; Zim turned, an unspoken agreement, and met his searching lips.
"You're all I have left," the human whispered. "You better not disappoint me, you jerk."
"Never,"the alien replied. "Zim cannot disappoint."
A vibration made the Irken's antenna perk up suddenly, and he drew back in surprise, looking down. Dib, realizing the problem quickly, flushed a pale shade of pink.
"You're hungry!" the alien said, surprised. He cuffed his companion over the head, antenna flattening. "Why does the Dib not use that huge mouth of his?!"
Dib looked down, seeming embarrassed as the Irken took his arm authoritatively. He looked regretfully over his shoulder as they left the relative security of the room, but Zim wouldn't hear of hiding there. He did, however, pull the human closer to his side as they started to encounter other Irkens; the whispering set both of them on edge, though the Irken was more far indignant than embarrassed.
"Do not question your greatest invader!" he snapped, making every Irken turn away self-consciously. "You will not question Zim!"
"Zim…" Dib pleaded, "don't attract attention…!"
"Foolish earth-stink!" the Irken spat. "Zim does not slink about like some blorchian grub-worm!" Then he added, more softly, "And neither should the Dib-thing, for the Dib-thing is almost equal to Zim."
"Hey!" the human objected, straightening and lurching sideways to pull Zim off balance. "I think Zim is almost equal to me!"
The Irken smirked. "You lost, stink-beast! You lost to Zim!"
"Only because I was tired of humanity," Dib insisted. "I let you win because it suited me."
"Yesyes, I know I am irresistible," Zim said carelessly, flicking his tongue over the human's ear. "We're here, unobservant human."
Emerging into the Irken cafeteria, the unconventional pair instantly commanded the attention of every creature in the room. Neither paid it any head, Zim leading the human up to the counter. Gazing at the unfamiliar food (and oddly familiar sandwiches), Dib sighed.
"I miss pizza."
Zim sighed, too, his eyes fixed on the donuts labeled Reserved for the Tallest on the top shelf. "I
miss how easy snacks were to obtain on your filthy planet."
Dib smirked, then turned to the Irken behind the counter. "What would you recommend?"
The poor food service drone blinked. "For a… human? Well… I, uh… couldn't really say…"
Despondent, the human sighed again. "I'll just take a sandwich, I guess."
Collecting the bag, Dib felt Zim take his arm again; they walked quickly back to their room, the human shutting the door gratefully behind them.
"Try it," the Irken urged suddenly, and Dib blinked.
"Huh?"
"The sandwich! Try the sandwich!" Zim said insistently, intensely.
Dib raised an eyebrow, but obligingly pulled out the sandwich and examined the Irken insignia stamped there. Glancing self-consciously at the watching alien, he took a large bite.
"Ah!" the human drew back in surprise, pinkish goo dripping from his mouth, which had fallen open. "I's gwooey!"
Zim nodded excitedly. "Superior, yes? The goo, the goo!"
Chewing open-mouthed as one might chew a particularly sticky, annoying caramel, Dib furrowed his brow. "Bizarre! It's… sweet goo…! Is all Irken food like this?"
"Superior, yes?" Zim asked again, smugly.
"…" The human wrinkled his nose. I-I'll get used to it… maybe."
… … …
The trip to Irk took only three short days, during which time the two were never seen apart. Zim was the portrait of possessive, hissing and shielding the human from hostile eyes. And even though he didn't actually need protection, Dib couldn't help but be pleased. It was the human who spotted Irk first, glued to the window as he had been for the majority of the trip.
"Zim! Zim!" he called excitedly, hands against the glass. "Zim, is that Irk?"
The Irken joined his companion, leaning with his shoulder against the window. "There she is," he said dreamily. "All of Irk is waiting to welcome Zim and his human, yes…"
The two stood in silence, content to watch the metal-encrusted planet grow bigger as they approached, until at last it took up the whole view. Then Zim turned into the room, gathering up the pair's few possessions (green monkey statue among them). Dib had escaped earth's destruction with only his glasses and the clothes on his back; in a token show of defiance, he shed the Irken clothes he had been wearing and donned his human garb for the arrival on Irk.
"Yeeeeeeeewoooooooo!"
Both human and Irken glanced up at the excited shriek, and suddenly Zim was bowled off his feet. Dib burst out laughing as the little robot grabbed his master's face.
"GIR?!" Shoving the defective SIR unit off, the Irken sat up. "Where have you been? Tell Zim, tell Zim now!"
"I was gettin'-!" GIR stopped short, eyes flashed, and suddenly his smile faded. "I have been repaired, sir," he finished, deadpan.
"Eh? Repaired?" Zim asked. "What is the meaning of this?"
"My defective circuitry, sir!" was the reply. "It has been repaired. Awaiting orders, sir!"
Looking unnerved, the Irken took a step back. "GIR! Stop this foolishness!"
"I have, sir," the robot said, seeming rather confused. "I have stopped all foolishness." Then his eyes lit red, head rising. "The Tallest! They summon me!" he announced, and then walked out without a single glance back.
Zim looked bewildered and, for lack of a better word, lost as he stared after his evil minion. Dib joined the Irken, letting their shoulders touch.
"What was that about?" he asked, for lack of a better thing to say.
The Irken Invader gave himself a shake. "It must be a temporary side effect of the arrival on Irk. The electric field must be effecting his AI circuits- perhaps for the better. Do not worry yourself over it, Dib-human."
I'm not the one worried about it... the human thought, glancing at his companion nervously. Zim was biting his lip, a very human habit; his teeth, sharper than the average human's, had managed to draw blood.
"Landing in 10 minutes," a voice on the speaker said, and both human and Irken jumped. "Prepare for disembarkation."
Zim shook himself again, a somewhat-forced grin splitting his face. "Come, earth-stink," he said, but Dib pulled him back toward the window, watching with intense curiosity as the planet's surface approached.
"I don't see any plants," he said, looking over at Zim. "Th-there is oxygen on your planet, right? I mean, you could breath on earth, so I assumed..."
The Irken nodded, his grin becoming more honest. "Irk has factories that produce her air."
Dib looked startled. "Factories?"
"We have evolved past the point of needing petty plant or animal life on the great planet of Irk!" Zim announced grandly, and the human shifted nervously.
"Are you the only organic organisms on your whole planet?"
"Some necessary bacteria are grown in various labs," the Irken said with a shrug, completely at ease with his kind's artificial existence. "Our food is produced in factories as well."
Thinking of the gooey sandwiches he had been subsisting on, Dib gave up hope of any real food with a sigh. Then he turned back to the window, unsure of whether or not he was actually pleased to be descending into such a metallic, artificially-generated world.
But the human had regained his enthusiasm by the time they landed; it was hard to be anything but excited at the sight of the sprawling civilization waiting to greet them. Disembarking from the Massive was an event; Zim, the returning invader, was to be the focal point of the parade, standing beside the Tallest. But he wouldn't even hear of being separated from his human, and so both of them ended up standing on the platform beside the two figureheads, Zim waving jovially and Dib peering around with almost frantic curiosity, stretching his neck up as he gazed out over the sea of welcoming Irkens.
The Tallest were none too pleased.
Laughing, Zim held up both arms and waved wildly, obviously enjoying himself as he blew kisses to the crowd. The crowd, rather confused in general,applauded dutifully as they whispered among themselves about the defective Zim and the strange alien he now had in tow. Such alien gestures he was making, too; nothing like a kiss existed on Irk. And they kept whispering, even after the Tallest and their two much shorter companions had vanished into the domed building where they resided.
"This... this is incredible!" Dib exclaimed as soon as he could make himself heard without shouting. "Zim, this is amazing!"
"Zim knew you would find it so," the Irken said proudly, puffing out his chest.
"I mean, this is just-!" the human started to continue, but was cut off by
Red clearing his throat sharply.
"You, earth... thing, are to report to the Smeetery, where we raise our young," he said, regarding Dib with bored distaste. "There you'll be fitted with a PAK and given access to the Irken Collective."
"Oh wow!" Dib exclaimed, looking excitedly at Zim and then back at the Tallest. "A-A PAK? Is that...?"
"You will become an Irken, young man," Purple said sternly. "If you expect us to accept you, you have no choice!"
Suddenly nervous, the human glanced back at Zim. The invader smiled encouragingly. Swallowing and steeling himself, Dib turned back to the Tallest.
"Alright. Tell me the way."
"This SIR unit will show you," Red said tiredly, waving his hand. Instantly a fully-functional SIR unit was there, saluting.
"Sir! This way, sir!" it chirped, pointing. Dib lingered, however, taking a step in the opposite direction, back towards Zim.
"Foolish Dib-thing," the Orken said, amused. "Zim will be right here when you return."
"You better be," the human said threateningly, but the quaver in his voice betrayed just how nervous he was. He followed the SIR unit, though, padding after it through the alien hallways with all the confidence he could muster.
As the darkness of the tunnel closed around him, he glanced back; only Zim's luminous eyes remained visible, still fixed on him as he descended.

Thank you for reading! Please see the description below for important information regarding future chapters!