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Novanator — NARUTO: OSOoC - Chapter 27
Published: 2008-01-23 19:20:14 +0000 UTC; Views: 12766; Favourites: 214; Downloads: 101
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HEEERE'S JHONNY!Karin: “The Happy Place is here to serve you!”
Deidara: “It’s like every word that comes out of there mouth is a sex pun waiting to be noticed…”
Suigetsu: -Gasp- “Karin! You forgot your dramatic entrance!”
Karin: “Oh twaddlecock, you right!” -Runs outside, climbs up to the roof, then falls through the ceiling- “TO PROTECT THE WORLD FROM DEVASTATION!”
Suigetsu: “Hey Mommy! I have a sharp object up my ass! Guess what it is?!”
Deidara: -Twitch- “I… have no idea…”
Suigetsu: “Broken glass! You were right Karin! This does work better than dildos!”
Karin: “I told you!”
Deidara: “Ugh…” (Here goes nothing…) -Gulp- “Listen up, uh… SON… MOMMY needs your help with something VERY… important…” (KILL ME!!!!!)
Suigetsu: “Yes Mommy?” -Smiling-
Kakuzu: “Now there’s a real trooper…” -Holding hat over his chest-
Deidara: “MOMMY… would like you and your sister… to pose as our good friend “Uncle Pein’s” daughters… Do you think you could do that for MOMMY…?” -Twitching uncontrollably- (GOD, IF YOU TRULY EXIST AND HAVE ONE SHRED OF MERCY IN YOU, YOU WILL STRIKE ME DOWN RIGHT FUCKING NOW!)
Suigetsu: “Of course Mommy!” -Transforms into a girl- “I’d do anything for you!”
Deidara: “GOOOD…” -Has begun foaming at the mouth-
Suigetsu: “Come on sis! Let’s please Mommy so she’ll abandon us again!”
Karin: “YAY!” -Transforms-
Pein: -Walks out from his bedroom- “I-”
Suigetsu & Karin: “DADDY!” -Both hug-tackle him-
Pein: “W-WHAT THE HELL?!”
Kakuzu: "Aw. You’re daughter’s alive after all. That’s modern medicine for ya.”
Pein: “TH-TH-THEY AREN’T MY-!”
Kakuzu: -Raises eyebrow- “Uh… Uh- I mean…”
Suigetsu: “WE MISSED YOU SO MUCH DADDY! CAN YOU HELP ME UNHOOK MY BRA?!”
Karin: -Rubbing her boobs against him- “Uh-oh Daddy! I think I need a diaper change!”
Suigetsu: “Daddy! Can we play with Mr. Fingerman again?!”
Pein: “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO?!”
Suigetsu: “Aw… Don’t worry Daddy! We’re adults now!”
Karin: “Yeah! We’re not jail-bait!
Kakuzu: -Laughing- “Ahaha! This is priceless!”
Deidara: -Throwing up- “Forgive me for not being able to fully enjoy it…”
Karin: -Singing- “Oh Daddy, Daddy! I promise, you won’t do tiiiiime! Lick my baby-back behind!” - Shaking her ass-
Pein: -Crying-
Kakuzu: “Hm… wonder how long they’re gonna keep this up…”
Suigetsu: “I WANT YOU INSIDE ME DADDY!”
Karin: “I WANT IT IN MY MOUTH!”
Pein: -Crying hysterically- “OKAY! OKAY! I DON’T REALLY HAVE A DAUGHTER AND I WENT TO MEXICO FOR SPRING BREAK, OKAY?! THE JIGS UP! JUST STOP! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP!”
Suigetsu: “Why won’t Daddy’s little soldier come out the play?!”
Karin: -Baby’s voice- “Where’s my wittle fwiend, huh? WHERE’S MY WITTLE FWIEND?!”
Deidara: “Ugh… Okay, okay, kids. That’s enough. He says he’ll fess up.”
Suigetsu: “LOVE US DADDY! LOVE US GOOD!”
Deidara: -Using a megaphone- “I SAID THAT’S ENOUGH ALREADY! MOMMY SAYS ENOUGH ALREADY!”
Suigetsu: -Transforms back- “Did we do good Mommy?
Deidara: “YES, YES, EXCELLENT MOMMY’S VERY PROUD OF YOU, NOW GET THE HELL OUT!”
Suigetsu: “Okay! I love you Mommy! Let’s go Karin! We can still make our daily rape appointment!” -Disappears-
Karin: “HOORAY!” -Also disappears-
Kakuzu: “Way to take one for the team.”
Deidara: “UGH… I don’t feel so good…”
Kakuzu: “So, did you learn your lesson?”
Pein: -Fire in eyes- “YOU… YOU TWO…YOU WERE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS…?”
Deidara: “Uh… Yes?”
Pein: “GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Deidara: “I THINK we went to far…”
Kakuzu; “What was you first clue?”
Pein: “DIE!!!!!!!!!!”
Deidara & Kakuzu: -Run like hell-
Pein: -Chasing them with a chainsaw-
Itachi: -Walking down the hall- “What the-?!”
Deidara & Kakuzu: -Run by at the speed of light-
Itachi: “Eh?”
Pein: -Runs past Itachi; singing- “I’M ABOUT TO KILL YOU~…”
Itachi: “Hoshit. They should’ve just given him the Sea World tickets…”
Deidara: “SHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT-! -Hides in the first room he sees-
Kakuzu: -Runs into Kisame’s room and slams the door-
Kisame: -Swimming in shark tank- “What the hell man?!”
Kakuzu: -Whispering- “SHUT THE HELL UP…”
Pein: -Saws a hole in the door- “HELLO CLEVELAND!” -Peeking through hole and foamy at the mouth-
Kisame: “WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO HIM?!”
Kakuzu: “IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY DAMMIT!”
-The door explodes-
Pein: -Standing in the doorway- “PEEK-A-BOO, I SEE YOU…”
Kakuzu: “Shit…”
-Meanwhile-
Deidara: -Moves a bunch of furniture in front of the door, then sits down cowering in fear- “I KNEW THIS WAS A BAD IDEA. OH GAWD I AM SO FUCKING DEAD…”
Sasori: -Naked by the computer- HAVEN’T YOU EVEN HEARD OF KNOCKING?!
Deidara: “WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!
-Axe suddenly busts through the door-
Deidara: -Backs far away from the door- “CRAP…”
Sasori: -Wearing bathrobe- “WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO HIM?!”
Deidara: “WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING ON THE COMPUTER?!”
Sasori: “I REALLY DON’T THINK THAT’S RELEVANT TO YOUR CURRENT SITUATION!”
Deidara: “NO, BUT IT’S KIND OF HARD NOT TO ASK QUESTIONS ABOUT THESE KINDS OF THINGS!”
Pein: -From the other side of the door- “LET’S PLAY HIDE AND SEEK…”
Deidara: “OKAY. FUCK THIS. IF I’M GONNA DIE, I’M GONNA DIE MAKING FUN OF WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WERE DOING ON THAT COMPUTER!” -Runs towards the computer-
Sasori: -Blocks the computer- “I DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE GONNA DIE! IT’S FUCKING PRIVATE!”
Deidara: “TOO BAD!” -Shoves Sasori out of the way, there are naked pictures of Tsunade on the monitor- “DUDE… WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!”
Kakuzu: -Busts through the window- “I think I lost hi- WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THE COMPUTER?!”
Sasori: “I LIKE OLDER WOMEN OKAY?!”
Deidara: “DUDE, THAT’S JUST FUCKING GROSS!”
Pein: -Banging on the door- “WARRIORS~… COME OUT AND PLA~AY~…”
Sasori: “THIS REALLY ISN’T THE TIME FOR YOU TO BE CRITICIZING ME?! ESPECIALLY YOU, KAKUZU! YOU’RE FUCKING ANCIENT!”
Kakuzu: “I MAY BE OLD BUT I DON’T DATE OLDER WOMEN! Ugh. That reminds me…” -Dials cell-phone- “Honey, I’m about to die, but I just wanted to tell you… YOU’RE A FUCKING WHORE AND I KNOW ABOUT YOU AND HILLARY CLINTON!” -Hangs up-
Deidara: “I can’t believe this… We’re really about to die… I mean, I know we always said we wanted to die, but damn…”
Kakuzu: I know! I never though it would actually happen…”
Pein: -Banging on the door even harder-
Kakuzu: “HERE! TAKE ALL MY MONEY!” -Slides a bunch of money under the door-
Pein: “Okay, but I’m still going to kill you!”
Kakuzu: “God dammit…”
Deidara: -Hugging Sasori- “I’M NOT READY TO DIE!”
Sasori: “GET THE HELL OFF OF ME!” -Shoves him off-
Deidara: “VISIT MY AUNT AND UNCLE IN THE NURSING HOME FOR ME!”
Kakuzu: “Tell Hidan he’s the best partner a guy could ask for.”
Sasori: “You guys are scaring me…”
Deidara: “Tell Tobi he is a good boy even though he’s a fucking idiot!”
Kakuzu: “Tell my mom I’m sorry I stole her credit cards and blamed it on dad…”
Deidara: “And tell Zetsu he’s just a misunderstood monster!”
Kakuzu: “Not me, I still hate that freak!”
Zetsu: -Emerges from the ground- “AW DEIDARA!” -Hugs Deidara and starts crying- “I didn’t know you cared so much!”
Deidara: “GET THE HELL OFF OF ME! I SAID YOU WERE MISUNDERSTOOD, I STILL FUCKING HATE YOU!”
Zetsu: “Aw…” -Walks away sadly-
Pein: -Busts down the door, holding chainsaw- “HEEEEEEEEEERE’S JOHNY!”
Kakuzu: “TELL THE AKATSUKI I’LL MISS THEM!”
Sasori: “Yeah, I’m not gonna do any of that.”
Deidara: “AND SASORI! I’M SORRY FOR ALL THOSE TIMES I SAID I HATED YOU! I LOVE YOU DAMMIT!”
Sasori: -Blank face-
Kakuzu: “That was a bit much.”
Zetsu: “You know, if you guys wanna live that bad I have a drug that makes people forget stuff.”
Kakuzu: “AND YOU DIDN’T MENTION BEFORE BECAUSE-OH FORGET IT JUST GIVE ME THE STUFF.”
Zetsu: -Tosses him a vile-
Kakuzu: -Runs and shoves it down Pein’s throat-
Pein: “DIE-….. What the hell am I doing he- EW. Sasori, you like Tsunade? You’re fucking nasty.”
Kakuzu: -Crying tears of happiness- “We’re saved!” -Snatches his money from Pein- “Giving away my money, I must’ve lost my damn mind. Oh, and Sasori, if you mention anything I said, I’ll fucking kill you.” -Walks out-
Sasori: -Blank face, no movement whatsoever-
Pein: “Huh… Well, I‘m very confused right now so I‘m gonna go lay down and watch porn-I mean continue mourning my daughter“ -Walks out-
Deidara: “…So… I’m NOT going to die…?”
Zetsu: -Smiling- “Nope!”
Deidara: “…Well, fuck me…” (OH… Bad choice of wording…) -Runs like hell-
Itachi: -Runs into the room with a video camera- “DAMMIT! DID I MISS ANYTHING?!”
Deidara: -Running past him- “Nope, nope. Nothing at all.”
Itachi: “Damn… It figures. I always- UGH You like Tsunade? Dude, that’s sick.” -Walks out-
Sasori: -In state of shock-
Tobi: -Falls from the roof- “Did someone say Tobi’s a good boy?!”
TO BE CONTINUED…
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Comments: 166
Novanator & Crew= Goddess/God of laughter.
they say that laughter is the secret to eternal life. thank you for making me live forever!!!!! XD
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*has died 27 time from lack of air and it still laughing her ass of* OW this is the 3 time ive fallen off the couch and droped my laptop!Oh well its still funny!
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HERES JOHNNY! ... ---> i think is died laughing *is writing this while trying to fit back in her body*
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“Now there’s a real trooper…” XDXDXDXDXDXD OMG THIS IS DA BEST CHAPTER EVA!!!!!
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Oh man have i missed this...reading it all again and then finally continuing it...
It is amazing...and I guess, by the way, the reason it was taken down was you insulted someone, no idea who, or what, my friend (who got the e-mail) just told me that much...I dunno...
Anyway i enjoy so much....that i do....
Tobi IS a good boy...
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this... is... SOOO wrong o.O
on so many levels...
awesome though XD
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that part with tobi was awesome. XD
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Heart stops and dies... BEST CHAPTER YET!!!! Though i thought you would have used Konan to save them. You know the hole wants to kill him thing... but thats just me and i'm that crazy guy strapped to the wall...
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DAAMMNNN NOW THATS FUUUNNNNYYYYY!! Whenever I read one of your fan fics, it always brightens up my day, even though my day was as bright as the sun. But it does the trick!
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nova... dear, WTF?!
i would so pull that sort of thing on my friend. actually, lol I did. kinda. remove the chainsaw. we told the local whores that our (hot) guy friend liked them a lot and was still deciding who to take to the dance. nonetheless, it turned almost into a contest of who could out-whore the other and get his affections. he was miserable, lol, because he was a closet gay guy!!! he beat us to death with a whiffle ball bat, lmao.
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that's one hell of a story
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thank you. you should have seen the whores afterward. it was sasuke-fantardedness in real life form... x-cept our sasuke is gay
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well according to this fanfiction Sasuke is gay XD
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ah! yes! it all makes sense now! *I can see clearly now, le rain is gone*
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who made that song anyway?
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uhh, i dunno. a gay dude and his groopies, the three blind mice, or somthing else, i dunno squat! :>.<:
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i can see clearly now the rain is gone
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some weird dudes with a gay dude backup singer, lmao
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d[-_-]b
i cant hear yooouuu!!!
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pina colada time? *grabs sombrero*
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what were we talking about again? i can nvr keep track, lol. i have like 20 conversations going at the same time, all the tiime, lmao
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yawn, I always feel so lazy during swim class, lol we just lounge un the pool or in the side chairs, like im doing now.
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ugh, I just won myself a penalty game from mah group 
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because I pantsed this one dude that was making fun of my friend.lol we both got penaltie games (do u kno wht a penalty game is?)
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yay for cluelessness 
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what's new?
schools boring and math is a sin.
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nothin much...
that is so true
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wait. i just reviewed our entire conversation> and i forgot to tell you what a penalty game is!!! OMFG!!!
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yes, we all left that day, a little less iknnocent then b4. I have no regrets. lmao, again, again!!!
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